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#2377 – Carrot Top Podcast Episode Description
Scott “Carrot Top” Thompson is a trailblazing comedian, television personality, and actor celebrating 16 years of residency at the Las Vegas Luxor Hotel and Casino.
www.carrottop.com
www.youtube.com/@CarrotTopLive
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#2377 – Carrot Top Podcast Episode Summary
Based on the provided context, the phrase “has joined the group” refers to someone becoming a member of a group, band, club, or team. Throughout the conversation, there are multiple references to joining various groups, inviting members, and welcoming new people. Specific examples include:
– “we joined the band”
– “He should’ve joined the…”
– “Join the team.”
– “Welcome to the club.”
– “add one more bestie.”
– “they’re in, they’re in.”
– “invite you to…”
Continue reading the full guide (click to expand)
These statements all indicate the act of someone joining or being added to a group or collective. However, the context does not specify exactly who “has joined the group” in a particular instance. The general meaning is clear: it signifies the addition of a new member to a group. If you are looking for a specific individual who joined a specific group, that information is not explicitly provided in the context.
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#2377 – Carrot Top Podcast Episode Transcript (Unedited)
Speaker: 0
00:01
Joe Rogan podcast. Check it out. The Joe Rogan experience. Ai meh day. Joe Rogan podcast by night, all day. Hey. It’s always been alright. Good to see you, my man. As well. Thanks for
Speaker: 1
00:15
having me.
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Speaker: 0
00:16
Very, very good.
Speaker: 1
00:16
It’s very funny. You’re you brought a box of your stuff, and one of them immediately started going off like it’s an alarm. What is
Speaker: 0
00:23
this? Is it a FedEx box? Yeah. It’s it was a it’s a it’s that commercial that runs for late night Viagra Cialis, and it says, hey. We’ll send you your Cialis and Viagra in unmarked white envelopes. And I would say, fuck that. I don’t I want just the opposite. I want my neighbors to know I’m getting laid. I want my neighbors to know I have a dick a hard dick, so it’s got sirens and whistles.
Speaker: 0
00:43
And my dick’s hard. My dick is you
Speaker: 1
00:45
know. So
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00:47
you know, six sai engineering. We were just talking about you
Speaker: 1
00:50
the other night at the comedy club. We’re ai, he owns props. Like, you can’t do props now. When I was a kid, when I first started doing stand up, and I’m sure you too Mhmm. There were prop comics. Sure. There was a bunch of guys.
Speaker: 0
01:02
Yeah. The WID. The WID. Yeah.
Speaker: 1
01:03
There was quite a few guys that were really good. They were propcom. But you became so successful as a prop comic, you kinda stole the market. Oh. Yeah. There’s no young comics coming up.
Speaker: 0
01:14
Nobody wants to be a Carrot Tom, I think. I think that’s that’s what it is. Ai give it shit I I still get. So I I think people look in the long time. Ai don’t
Speaker: 1
01:22
think you get shit anymore.
Speaker: 0
01:23
No. Ai as much. No. But I but you still get the aftermath of it. Like, just on the plane today, somebody, I don’t care what no. What are you doing? I sai, I’m doing roving. They said, oh, man. I don’t care what everybody else says. You’re funny. I’m like, well, who is everybody?
Speaker: 0
01:33
Like, who is everybody else?
Speaker: 1
01:35
Is that?
Speaker: 0
01:36
Yeah. Well, they get that. I get that a lot. You know? The people that all the people that, you know, hey. You I I personally think you’re funny.
Speaker: 1
01:42
That kind of stuff. Ai Oh, yeah. Yeah. I’m I’m
Speaker: 0
01:44
one
Speaker: 1
01:44
of the rare. Yeah. I’m one of the rare ones who
Speaker: 0
01:47
thinks you’re good. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. Yeah. I can’t you know, I had to beg my mom to come. She did not wanna come. Okay. Yeah. It’s such a weird thing. Ai. Right?
Speaker: 1
01:54
Well, we talked about that the last time. Like, I think you took way too much shit from comedians, and I never understood it. I the the the weird thing that comedians do where they hate on other comedians, like, good lord. We live in a world that is filled with war and famine and disease and pollution and garbage and chaos and corruption. And you wanna concentrate on a prop comment?
Speaker: 1
02:19
Is that is that really
Speaker: 0
02:21
I mean
Speaker: 1
02:21
what the problem is in this world? Right.
Speaker: 0
02:23
Ai that true?
Speaker: 1
02:24
Yeah. And it’s almost always comics that are doing better than you.
Speaker: 0
02:28
Ai. I think we tried breaking it down last time as to what and I think it was only because Sai think one, I did get successful. And it wasn’t quick quick, but it was quicker than maybe most. And I, you know, because I I hit the scene right at the right time. I had the the act that was, you know
Speaker: 1
02:42
It was a good act.
Speaker: 0
02:43
Perfect for television. Right? Because it’s visuals. It’s Yeah. And it’s Ai got a little success, and I think people were like, you know what? They would ask Jay, you know, what do you why do you why do you have Carrot Top on, like, every month? And Jay would ai know, he brings the gun. He doesn’t know. Job. He should get it done.
Speaker: 0
03:01
But but, I do meh, the comedy, the the evening at the improv. And Ai, you know, I’ve I’ve I’ve I’ve played mostly that in the other one, laugh the Cheesecake Factory, where it was. And then the, the Comedy Store was more Betsy loved me, but I never really played there a lot. So Bud loved me.
Speaker: 0
03:22
One night, he, he he I I came in. I said, you know, I I had my whole
Speaker: 1
03:26
back Bud Friedman from the improv.
Speaker: 0
03:27
Improv. Sorry. Yeah. And I had my box of stuff, and he always loved me. You know? He says, oh, man. You know, there’s no there’s no spots tonight. And I said, well, I drug it all the way, you know, fuck. And he’s like, let let me let me I’ll see if I can get you in somewhere.
Speaker: 0
03:41
So The Tonight Show book bookers were there that night. They were the Jim McCauley and these people were there to to pick watch comics and pick them for the tonight show. So he’s like, hey. You know what? I’m gonna slide you in. They’re gonna love you. So I go up, and I had the best set ever I’ve ever had.
Speaker: 0
03:57
It was just a magical night, and I I don’t know if I was just I knew they were there. Every comic was coming up going, Jesus, dude. Fuck. I mean, leveled it. Right? And Jim Macaulay walks up, and he says, that was amazing. And I said, oh, thanks. I sai, you booked The Tonight Show.
Speaker: 0
04:13
You think that maybe I I could get on? And he said, not a chance in hell. And I was like, I had just killed. I go, why? He says, you’re not you’re you’re Johnny would never book you. And I said, why? I said, you you book you book you booked the show. Right?
Speaker: 0
04:30
Because he would never he would never allow it. I said, why?
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04:32
Johnny Carson.
Speaker: 0
04:33
Yeah. I said, why? He says, he hates variety. What a weird thing. And I stopped in the middle of my ai I’m like, the whole fucking tonight ai variety. Yeah. The Karnak, the throwing the hatchets, every fucking thing they do. Right. Ed McMahon’s a fucking prop. Right?
Speaker: 0
04:48
The whole thing is is They bring
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04:49
on animals.
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04:50
Animals. You think I’m kidding. Right? So I’m like, well, okay. And and then finally I mean, I’m talking, like, two weeks after, Johnny left, I was on with Jay. And it was just, like, literally. But the weird part about it was it still was the same studio. You know? They had the Right.
Speaker: 1
05:07
The blue
Speaker: 0
05:07
you know, the the gold stars. You’re standing right where Johnny was and the sai, like, Ed Decordova was still in the booth, and everyone was still, like, there. Yeah. So you felt like it was the the the the ai show, but, how weird is that? Like, ai. You know, don’t like variety.
Speaker: 0
05:22
And then I would get, you know, singled out because, I would do Leno so many times. I’d ask if I could do Letterman. They said, no. You’re you’re you’re team Leno. I’m like Oh. I’m not it’s ai it’s like the Twilight movie. I’m a team fucking whatever. There’s two teams.
Speaker: 1
05:36
Thank god that doesn’t exist in podcast. That would Yeah. Right. Right. Right. Fucking thing where if you were on one person’s side, you’re the
Speaker: 0
05:42
enemy. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Ugh.
Speaker: 1
05:44
Probably Milano. How stupid is that? Yeah. This is ai
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05:50
I was, I guess.
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05:50
Well, it’s such famine thinking back then because, you know, there was only a certain amount of, shah us.
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05:56
On there.
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05:57
Well, I never thought it
Speaker: 0
05:57
was No. People had to do that thing. That thing on straight?
Speaker: 1
06:00
Isn’t it weird that, like, women can wear wigs no problem at all? A man wears a wig, it’s
Speaker: 0
06:04
pathetic. You’re you’re a loser. Absolutely. A man with a hair piece. Nice nice hair piece.
Speaker: 1
06:08
Yeah.
Speaker: 0
06:09
Or implants. You know? When I ai I lived in LA. This is true. I lived in LA. I go to Gold’s Gym, and my hair was even more out of out of control. I had big ass hair. Yeah. You
Speaker: 1
06:19
had a giant frog
Speaker: 0
06:20
one coming on. Arya. And and these ladies were behind me, and they’re like, oh my god. Look at that that woman’s arms. Right? Seriously, they had makeup and into the whole nine yards, and they were just amazed. And they came over. They said, how do you get your arms that big?
Speaker: 0
06:33
And I turned around ai said, I don’t know. You know, arm workout. And she’s like, oh, and I could see their face turn ai, what’s a dude? But I was kind of, you know, pretty that, you know, it’s like, you know, the younger lot of hair ram makeup. So and then that same gym one day, I’m I’m I’m working out. This guy says, nice arms. And I said, thanks. He’s like, who who who did the work?
Speaker: 0
06:55
Right? And I thought he’s making I said, I didn’t I put in the fucking work. You know, like, who works out for me? He’s like, no. No. No.
Speaker: 0
07:00
I mean, implants. Right? I’m like, only in LA would you have someone in the gym walk up and say, oh, yeah. Implants? Yeah. I have implants.
Speaker: 0
07:09
You you fucking go to the gym and you do At the gym. And you do curls.
Speaker: 1
07:13
Out assuming that someone has implants is pretty wild.
Speaker: 0
07:15
But I don’t have that big of I mean, this guy thought I, you know, I
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07:18
Well, that’s how gross LA is.
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07:19
Yeah. It is.
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07:21
That’s ai the default assumption Mhmm. Is that everything’s fake.
Speaker: 0
07:24
Meh. No matter what. Where’d you
Speaker: 1
07:25
get your butt?
Speaker: 0
07:26
Who who did your butt?
Speaker: 1
07:29
Who did your nose done? Yeah. It’s always You love everything.
Speaker: 0
07:32
No. It’s true.
Speaker: 1
07:33
No one wants to believe
Speaker: 0
07:33
Who goes your plugs?
Speaker: 1
07:34
Yeah. No one wants to believe that you’re natural.
Speaker: 0
07:37
That’s another thing I get too. Weird. I just had a gun, today at the airport. He said, hey. You still working out? And I’m like, you’re supposed to say, I see you’re still working out. Right? You don’t ask him if you’re still working out. That means you don’t look like you work out.
Speaker: 0
07:50
Well, I
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07:51
think he’s probably just trying to start a conversation with
Speaker: 0
07:53
you. Yeah. And we didn’t know how to You know, I did. I said, you mean you mean, I see you’re still and he goes, yeah. What did I sai? And I said, you said, do you still work out?
Speaker: 1
08:01
Yeah. And what’s the answer to that? You just say meh?
Speaker: 0
08:03
I say no. No. I’m You’re done? I’m yeah. Ai don’t know. I said I’m not feeling well. Yeah.
Speaker: 1
08:09
I’m dying.
Speaker: 0
08:10
I’m dying. Yeah. Alright. Oh, you didn’t hear? Like, woah.
Speaker: 1
08:12
Yeah. I it’s radiation poisoning. Yeah. Something happened. One of my toys.
Speaker: 0
08:17
Well, they always say you left lights. I hate that too. I’m in the gym and, like, you always lift light.
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08:22
Was ai?
Speaker: 0
08:23
I don’t I guess it means I don’t I don’t lift I don’t I do weights. I don’t do heavy weights. I don’t have spotters. I just do cables and do some dumbbells, but people always do that. You always work light. Like, ai. People are silly. I’m heavy for me.
Speaker: 1
08:37
People are silly. There’s a lot of people that just don’t know what to say. You know, they meet someone famously, and they ai don’t know what to say. They just get weird.
Speaker: 0
08:44
They do. And then they
Speaker: 1
08:45
afterwards, they probably leave and go, why the fuck did I
Speaker: 0
08:48
say that? Jesus
Speaker: 1
08:49
Christ. I feel so stupid. Ai done that before. Meet famous people, act like an idiot, and you’re like, what? Shit. So I try to give people grace.
Speaker: 0
09:00
Ai sai sure so true that if I see celebrity, I’m like, oh, I’m not gonna I’m not gonna pan. I’m gonna fucking up really. Right? Do you get a lot
Speaker: 1
09:06
of people coming to your shows that are famous?
Speaker: 0
09:08
You must say, yeah. Yeah. We have, we had a guy last night. We had a guy here, Chris Jericho was at the show last night. He was, he’d said to say hi to you. The wrestler? Yeah. Oh, cool. Real nice guy.
Speaker: 1
09:19
You’ve been at the Luxor for how long now?
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09:22
Nineteen, coming up on ’20.
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09:24
That’s crazy.
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09:25
Yeah. November 20.
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09:26
You probably have the longest residency of anybody in Vegas. Other than, like, Penn and Colorado, they’re
Speaker: 0
09:31
don’t count because one only talks. Ah. So
Speaker: 1
09:36
They’ve been there forever.
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09:37
They’ve been there forever. Yeah.
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09:38
I remember I saw them there in ’94. ’94? ’98. ’98. I saw them there in ’98.
Speaker: 0
09:45
Yeah. At the They’re still
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09:46
at the Rio, back when the Rio was nice. Yeah. Right? Now it’s ai, you gotta wear a bulletproof vest to watch.
Speaker: 0
09:50
They should just light it up shithole.
Speaker: 1
09:52
Yeah. It’s a weird place. It’s weird how some of those places just they just fall off. They just they just get ai, and then no one wants to go there anymore. But then if they they last long enough, then they become like Circus Circus where they’re fun. Right. Right. It’s fun to go there.
Speaker: 0
10:07
No. It is. And and in Luxor, they just did a whole big revamp on it and ai. It’s it’s it’s a beautiful hotel. Every time I walk in, it’s just it’s spectacular to see the the how they made that.
Speaker: 1
10:16
Well, I’m obsessed by Egypt. So for me, it’s ai I wish I the Luxor was the best hotel. I’d stay there every time.
Speaker: 0
10:23
Right. Right.
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10:23
Because it’s, you know, it’s a fucking giant pyramid. We actually
Speaker: 0
10:26
I mean, it is the best hotel.
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10:28
Oh, yeah. For sure. Thank you. For you. We did a Fear Factor stunt where people had to slide down the Luxor once.
Speaker: 0
10:32
Oh, wow.
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10:33
Yeah. That’s crazy. Ram flags on the way down. They’d slide down.
Speaker: 0
10:37
Alright. Must ai. I’m not doing that. Yeah.
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10:39
It was. Cheap Pretty crazy. Pretty ridiculous back in the day.
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10:43
That is crazy.
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10:44
Yeah. Twenty fucking years, man. That’s a long ass time to be doing a residency. Well, so before that, you were doing colleges and ai were touring and Yeah. You know. Do you miss any of that? You do a little touring every now.
Speaker: 0
10:56
We do a little touring now and then, but, it it’s only when I did when I get the the the off time. So if I get a week off, like, I’m here. I could be home in my boat, but I’m here. Right. I do roadshows, but, you know, you can’t all you gotta take a break here and there because you can’t kill yourself.
Speaker: 0
11:14
But, I like the, you know, I like the the touring. I like the bus. You feel like a rock star. You know?
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11:19
You pull up on
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11:20
a bus, and you got the big venue, and there’s a sound check, and there’s people and meeting we have that deluxe, but not ai, you know, people hanging out by the bus. You know? I get people like, hey. You fucked my mom. I’m like, great. Ram Now you know you’re getting old.
Speaker: 1
11:34
Hey. You
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11:34
know that? I used to remember, man, you fucked me. Now, hey. You fucked my mom. Pretty soon sana meh, you blew my grandpa. You know, it’d be something it’ll be something.
Speaker: 1
11:41
When,
Speaker: 0
11:42
Wait. His grandpa blew me. Your your grandpa blew me. Let’s get this straight. Your grandpa’s a ai. Yeah. First of all, your grandpa’s a liar.
Speaker: 1
11:49
He’s dead.
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11:49
I’m sorry.
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11:52
On his deathbed, you know, carrot top blooming one.
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11:58
Thank God he’s dead. He can’t tell anybody.
Speaker: 1
12:00
The one thing that’s good about not touring though, like, because I mostly just work my club now, is I never feel tired. I like, the traveling tiredness is horrible. Yep. You realize how bad it is to be flying all
Speaker: 0
12:13
the time. That is one great advantage of having the show every night at the Luxor because I leave my house Yeah.
Speaker: 1
12:18
And sleep in your own bed.
Speaker: 0
12:20
Oh, yeah. I’m home home by 10:30, eleven in latest.
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12:23
That is a huge plus. Yeah.
Speaker: 0
12:25
Yeah. That’s a huge plus. Yeah. Yep. Because the road is. It’s it can tear you up. But then, like I said, there’s the ups and there’s pluses and minuses of it. It’s fun. You’re in a rock you’re you’re a
Speaker: 1
12:33
rock band,
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12:33
you know?
Speaker: 1
12:34
There there’s pluses and minuses, but for me, I mean, this is the first time in my life where I haven’t toured. Yeah. Like, the last few years, the last three, four years.
Speaker: 0
12:44
Man, it’s nice.
Speaker: 1
12:44
Well, I guess, four three years ago, I was touring still. Like, two years. The last two years, I’ve just since the club opened, I just stopped. And it’s been amazing. I love it.
Speaker: 0
12:54
Perfect.
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12:54
You know? All my friends are doing arenas. They send me pictures.
Speaker: 0
12:57
Yeah. Yeah. Fine. I don’t wanna do it. I know.
Speaker: 1
12:59
Ai wanna get out there. I probably will, once I make a new hour. Ai, because right now, I’m at, like, forty something minutes. Once I get a a full new hour, I’ll probably do some some tour dates just for the fuck of it. But Yeah. But being at home has giant advantages. It’s, you don’t realize, like, how much you’re destroying your body until you stop doing it. You know? Oh, it’s yeah.
Speaker: 0
13:23
Yeah. They have in the the show is nice for that reason too. I mean, you can you have a normal day. You know? Ai had a dog for a bit. You can take a dog and then go to work and come home. You’re, you know, watching SportsCenter at 10:30 in
Speaker: 1
13:36
bed Do you, do you feel weird living in Vegas? Vegas is an odd place. It’s ai you have to find
Speaker: 0
13:42
Well, I live in in the, you know, in the Summerlin area where it’s ai a normal yeah. Suburban. Suburb. But then you go
Speaker: 1
13:48
to work inside the Devil’s Bowl.
Speaker: 0
13:49
Then I go inside the Devil’s Bowl. That’s a good way to put it. And, yeah. And then I It’s not like the Devil’s Bowl. I leave the down the shaft back to back to back to Summerlin.
Speaker: 1
13:59
It spits right out the tip.
Speaker: 0
14:00
Yeah. Sai ai the tip into Summerlin. Whew. We’re home. That was hell. Yeah. I mean, I find it funny. There’s a college there and a big college, you know, UNLV. I find that funny because you imagine asking your parents, like, hey. I wanna go to college. And, like, oh, right on. Where are you gonna go? Michigan, Iowa? You’re like, I’m thinking about Vegas. It’s good to call you. Ai not going to Vegas for college.
Speaker: 1
14:19
My buddy Ram Triplett went there.
Speaker: 0
14:21
Yeah? Yeah. It’s a good college. I’m just saying, you know, for It is weird. For the joke purposes.
Speaker: 1
14:26
Well, it seems like Vegas has become more of a community now. Right? They have the Raiders now. Yeah. Ai they getting amazing?
Speaker: 0
14:32
The Ai Yeah. And the, the other Golden Knights. What’s the other Golden Knights? The hockey.
Speaker: 1
14:35
Hockey. Right. That’s right. They got a hockey team now.
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14:38
And they
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14:38
They always have fights. Fights Oh, yeah. Almost everything. Oh,
Speaker: 0
14:41
yeah. Right. Fighting. Some some kind of boxing or
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14:43
UFC event or something.
Speaker: 0
14:45
And there’s talking of they’re talking of building the baseball stadium, I ai. Yeah. I heard.
Speaker: 1
14:48
Yeah. That’s nice. What’s gonna be the Vegas A’s? That’s gonna be weird.
Speaker: 0
14:53
I Sai guess. Yeah. I don’t know.
Speaker: 1
14:55
It’s is it the Vegas Raiders? Is that what they call themselves?
Speaker: 0
14:57
Yeah. Las Vegas Raiders. That’s weird. Yeah. Ai when even the commentary is like, Ai they and you can’t say Oakland Raiders. You can’t you know? It takes a long time. People still say just sai Washington Redskins every you know? Right. Just every Chris Collinsworth last week. You know?
Speaker: 0
15:11
And ai the Reds get what
Speaker: 1
15:14
do they call themselves now? The Redskins?
Speaker: 0
15:16
The Commanders. And you’re you’re talking this is pretty good. I’m like a sports guy. I know this stuff. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Commanders.
Speaker: 1
15:26
Yeah. Rent’s kid’s a weird one, though. Washington commanders. That one’s problematic.
Speaker: 0
15:30
Yeah. You know? Well, there’s a lot of them, I guess, that, though. Maybe something there’s some articles someone did. It was really great. It broke down everything that could be. Like, the Braves, the thing, the Chiefs, they they went through all these different things. We’d have to get rid of everything.
Speaker: 0
15:43
How about Notre Dame? Left was ai the Dolphins because they’re just a little but you you can’t you know, it’s a dolphin. You can’t you can’t hurt a dolphin. You know?
Speaker: 1
15:50
Yeah. But then there’s dolphins in captivity. It’s kind of gross that you’re capitalizing on dolphins in captivity.
Speaker: 0
15:56
Right.
Speaker: 1
15:57
There was a there was a lot of people that were upset about the Notre Dame using the Ai Irish, using that little leprechaun guy.
Speaker: 0
16:02
Right. Yeah. Right. Right. Yeah. Yeah. I think they’re gonna have a problem with everything. I mean, you know, jeez Louise. Yep. Yep. That’s all it is. You ever get protested? No. I no. But we’re financially shocked. No. I I haven’t, but I I thought, I had a nightmare when not that I did.
Speaker: 0
16:21
Like, we just Sai, you know, I’m I’m it’d just be people outside the Luxor just mad about something. No. But I’ve thought about that because I know people have been. Have you you’ve been have you been Oh, yeah. Oh, but sai, that’s so strange.
Speaker: 1
16:33
Yeah. Ai. Just a bunch of people, like, mad about something.
Speaker: 0
16:37
Sai you hate
Speaker: 1
16:38
bald ai,
Speaker: 0
16:38
you know.
Speaker: 1
16:39
It’s always something,
Speaker: 0
16:40
you know.
Speaker: 1
16:40
It’s whatever it is. People just get upset. It’s always a small group of people because it’s actually organized by Right. By actual humans versus, like, these crowdfunded ones.
Speaker: 0
16:50
Right.
Speaker: 1
16:50
Where, like, they show up on tour buses and they
Speaker: 0
16:52
all have, like, professionally made ai.
Speaker: 1
16:54
They hand them to, and they’re all getting paid
Speaker: 0
16:56
to protest. Yeah. Yes. Those that’s a weird thing that they’re doing today.
Speaker: 1
17:00
There that’s a that didn’t exist when I was a kid. Like, paid protesters.
Speaker: 0
17:03
I don’t think so.
Speaker: 1
17:04
I was watching a documentary on it on YouTube the other day that was, they they followed this woman who is a professional paid protester. And she goes from free Palestine to this to that to she’s been doing it for years. Shah goes from one protest to the next.
Speaker: 0
17:20
And That’s her job.
Speaker: 1
17:21
That’s her job. Yeah. And she makes, you know, x amount of $100 a day. Wow. And they fly around.
Speaker: 0
17:27
Fuck. Stays at the Four Seasons. Maybe I’ll start
Speaker: 1
17:29
doing this. That kinda should be illegal.
Speaker: 0
17:31
Yeah. It kind of.
Speaker: 1
17:32
Yeah. Because it’s kind of a lie. It’s kind of It’s
Speaker: 0
17:34
beyond fraud. It’s beyond fraud. Yeah. Beyond and the and the guy whoever’s funding it is right? I mean, who’s paying them?
Speaker: 1
17:42
It’s usually NGOs, nongovernment organizations that get taxpayer money, unfortunately. But it’s a weird thing that we’re pretending that these people are outraged when they really just sana sandwich. Right.
Speaker: 0
17:53
Right. Right. Right. You see them all the time ai the news. Yeah. And people don’t know they’re real. Right? They don’t know they’re not real. No. But Until someone points out what you just did, and then they get exposed. And and then people are like, no. You’re just you’re just listening to the ai of the what do you call the, you know, the what do you call it?
Speaker: 0
18:08
Or the when they when they say something’s, you know
Speaker: 1
18:10
Propaganda?
Speaker: 0
18:11
Propaganda or or the other one where they’re ai, oh, this is just, you know, the world’s flat and that kind of the the conspiracy theories. Oh, yeah. Sai love those because I you know, with my dad working at NASA, I would always answer ask people, like, what, like, what do you think?
Speaker: 1
18:26
What What’d your dad do at NASA?
Speaker: 0
18:27
He was, an engineer. He, he he, trained the astronauts in the in the Was he involved in taking the moon landing? Did you Ai. Yes. Yes. I wish my dad was alive. He’d he’d he’d punch you right now. But he’s Oh, yeah. I’m part of the car. Well, no. Ai slipped. I moved. Yeah. No.
Speaker: 0
18:46
Because we had a we had a we just had a discussion backstage. Oh, god dang. Couple days ago. I don’t know what something had something happened about a flag or something. Something about a flag.
Speaker: 1
18:57
A flag waving on the moon?
Speaker: 0
18:58
No. It was something about a flag, like, burning flag, something. And I said, my friend said, that’s an interesting question. I wonder if the the the if the flag is still on the moon. And I said, that’s a great question. Like, it’s one that you you had to break it down. Right? Yeah.
Speaker: 0
19:12
So I’d sai, well, my dad would know, and I guess I’m and I’m not the brightest guy, but I would I would do, like, an engineer and would break it down. Well, there’s not, you know, it’s there’s no wind on the moon. I mean, there might be cosmic with something wind up there, but it’s not right?
Speaker: 0
19:25
So and there’s nothing that’s gonna deteriorate the flag, so it’s probably still there.
Speaker: 1
19:29
If unless ai got hit by micrometeorites Well,
Speaker: 0
19:31
it’s something something ai than that, it would be right.
Speaker: 1
19:33
Because there’s no atmosphere on the moon, so it well, a very, very thin atmosphere. So it gets pelted
Speaker: 0
19:37
all the tyler. Right. That’s the only thing that would probably right. But it’s it it unless how deep the the fuckers put it. And but my dad trained him to drive that little lunar rover. Oh. And so I the joke I was gonna put in the show, I said, you know, NASA can now, can you get they’re good.
Speaker: 0
19:52
They can zoom in and look at it. So here’s the NASA zoom in on on the they tell it on the moon. Mhmm. You see the flag. See?
Speaker: 0
19:58
I told you the fucking moon’s still there. And then we pan over, and there’s the Land Rover, but it’s it’s up on blocks, and they’ve they’ve looted it and taken all the their deals off of it. Sai, see? The fucking thing they’ve already stole it. They’ve already turned
Speaker: 1
20:13
to They did take photos. I think it was India. Was it India or China? One of the satellites that they had hovering the moon took appropriately blurry, ambiguous photos of what they claim was the landing ai. Like, where the the lunar module was and Yeah. Where the buggy is.
Speaker: 0
20:34
Well, that was the foot first. Be the punch ai the end. You go, of course, it’s still there in some sound stage in LA, you ai.
Speaker: 1
20:39
I think the sound stage is probably in Vegas. I think it was out in the desert.
Speaker: 0
20:43
Summerlin. It might be near my house. Could be.
Speaker: 1
20:45
I think it’s out where they film where they do, like, UFO back Yeah. Back engineering.
Speaker: 0
20:50
Yeah.
Speaker: 1
20:51
Maybe. That’s another weird thing. You’re you’re right where where the, Luxor is is right across the street from where those guys take off to
Speaker: 0
21:00
go ai Market Area 51. Brother flew those. Really? Yeah. Woah. Here’s the crazy thing, and I probably you know what? My brother, was Air Force, and so he retired Air Force f sixteen ai jet pilot. And now he he for for about three years, he flew those red ai planes. And the weird thing is I’m in the Luxor.
Speaker: 0
21:19
When I first got the gig, and I was in the in my room, it was at the top of the not with a lot on the ai. And that’d be a that’d be a horrible room to be in. People ai, is your room with the light on it? Yeah. My room was just with the light in it.
Speaker: 1
21:31
For people that don’t know, there’s a giant
Speaker: 0
21:33
shah that big off stuff.
Speaker: 1
21:34
Actually had it toned down.
Speaker: 0
21:35
Yeah. Because it was interfering with ai. It was indeed. There’s three things you can see from outer space, by the way. The Great Wall Of China, the Luxor Ai, and meh cock. Thank you. I’m here all week. Try the wings. I’m actually here all all speak. All week.
Speaker: 0
21:51
Sai when was I oh oh, so I’m looking out the window. Right? Every morning, I would look out and they I’d see the the planes, and I didn’t know they were I thought they were the some private guy, you know, is a is a big mill billionaire that has all these jets out there. They were blue. So I thought, oh, there’s another billion of red jets. And so then there’s four channels on my TV. It was like when I was a kid.
Speaker: 0
22:11
Right? Ai was in the Luxor. It was just the Luxor channel and then the you know? So the Luxor channel would have on a loop every day, this goddamn thing about the red ai planes. And this is real. Right?
Speaker: 0
22:21
So I’m watching it, and they’re like, no one in the world knows where these red striped planes are. They fly out of a a sai a secret location. I swear to god. In the West and I’m like, I’m looking out my window like, they’re fucking right there. And it’s serious.
Speaker: 0
22:35
Like, no one knows for years people are trying to discover where the red planes fly in and out of. I’m like, this is a joke. So I called my brother and I sai, you know, he fly I said, you this thing says that you’re you’re, like, top secret. You don’t fly anymore. Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker: 0
22:49
I don’t know what ai talking about. You know, I really can’t tell me. He wouldn’t tell me. I just thought that was so crazy. Ai, like, there’s whole show saying there’s no red planes, and they and there’s a mystery to if you could find them. And I’m, like, They’re right.
Speaker: 0
23:01
Everybody knows where they are. Zoom in and take a picture of it.
Speaker: 1
23:03
That’s ridiculous. Everybody literally knows where they are.
Speaker: 0
23:06
Yeah.
Speaker: 1
23:06
They’re you could see them from Mandalay Bay.
Speaker: 0
23:08
Unless they are fake ones. They’re the ones that the deploy see, they the decoy. The decoy. Yeah. Just like the seven forty seven, then they have the other seven forty seven.
Speaker: 1
23:16
Yeah. When Bob Lazar was working on back engineering UFOs allegedly, that’s where he used to fly out of. They’d pick him up there, and he’d fly over to Arya S 4. Very quick. Quick little flight out into the middle of, Groom Lake.
Speaker: 0
23:33
Quick layover and come back.
Speaker: 1
23:34
Out, and they’d say figure this thing out.
Speaker: 0
23:36
Jeez. Allegedly. Allegedly. Yep.
Speaker: 1
23:38
Supposedly looks like that. That one right there
Speaker: 0
23:41
on the back. That’s the original. ACDC’s album. It looks like Yeah. Doesn’t it?
Speaker: 1
23:45
It looks a little bit like that. No. It’s this that’s the speak model. That’s what Bob supposedly was working on in the air ’51. Yeah. You know, who knows?
Speaker: 0
23:56
It’s fun. Yeah. Ai love all about speak stuff. Yeah.
Speaker: 1
23:59
But when you’re looking at those actual planes,
Speaker: 0
24:02
I’d like to talk to one of those guys.
Speaker: 1
24:05
They tell you though that then they’re fucked.
Speaker: 0
24:07
Oh, yeah. Like, my brother’s like, what are you talking about? He meh would not he no. He said, I I I, you know, work at In N Out. No. You don’t. You would. You fly this saloni. Tell me more.
Speaker: 1
24:17
He wouldn’t tell you nothing? No. Even if you put the phones down and go for a walk?
Speaker: 0
24:20
No. No. Nothing?
Speaker: 1
24:21
Your own brother?
Speaker: 0
24:22
Yep. If you’re my brother, I’d
Speaker: 1
24:23
tell you Would you? Fuck yeah.
Speaker: 0
24:25
I would too. I don’t sai I can’t keep a secret. That’s ai why I thought you’re not that’s why I thought you’re not that’s ai they wouldn’t hire you.
Speaker: 1
24:31
People always ask meh, like, does anybody ever tell you, like, secret top secret information? Ai, no. I have a big fucking mouth. You’re right. They told me that UFOs are real. I’d be I’d be like, look. I’m sorry. Maybe they’re gonna put me in jail, but I have to tell you people.
Speaker: 0
24:44
I always have that question too, honestly, about about people that have had security clearances Mhmm. And that. And then they revoke them, and they get rid of Yeah. My biggest I have You can take those. Ai know these things are not working. Yeah. These aren’t working.
Speaker: 1
24:55
Something about your hair. I can Sai yeah?
Speaker: 0
24:57
Meh Those things. Physique. Let’s just
Speaker: 1
24:59
let’s just go headset less.
Speaker: 0
25:02
Ai zone. No headphone, no pant wearing zone. You
Speaker: 1
25:10
probably have extra pants in there anyway.
Speaker: 0
25:12
I Ai I might. Ai do probably have something in there. I know. I used to be
Speaker: 1
25:17
Do you even know what’s in there? Like, do you structure your shah? Or do you just, like, reach in
Speaker: 0
25:21
and start out and stuff? The shah the show is structured, but when I come and do, like, little thing that there’s not at all. There’s not nothing’s zero.
Speaker: 1
25:28
Do you ever do guest vatsal, like, at a comedy club where
Speaker: 0
25:30
you ai the I used to do Ai used to make a a thing these days? No? Ai? I mean, to kinda do, like, this is what I’m doing today with Tony. I bring a little a little Right.
Speaker: 1
25:38
A little Tony love it. Yeah. Time he did it. It was very fun. I saw
Speaker: 0
25:41
some clips. Yeah. He said he said to me, I was how sai I? I don’t really wanna do props. You know? I wanna talk. I sana do I wanna be, you know, not Carrot Top. He says, but that’s what I want. I want you to be that. And he was ai, because it was really he was right because, you know, a lot of his it was both right. Yeah.
Speaker: 0
25:57
It was fun to talk, be funny without doing props, and then go in and show some of the stuff. And he he was
Speaker: 1
26:03
beside himself.
Speaker: 0
26:03
He said, that’s why I’m doing I’m here, no.
Speaker: 1
26:06
No. I’m ai
Speaker: 0
26:07
tonight and I
Speaker: 1
26:08
have a show there tomorrow night.
Speaker: 0
26:09
Oh, shit. I would sai.
Speaker: 1
26:10
Be fun a few.
Speaker: 0
26:11
Oh, that would be awesome. Sai, I would have done that in a heartbeat.
Speaker: 1
26:14
Another time. You’ll be back. Yeah. Yeah. Next time was playing on that. Yeah.
Speaker: 0
26:18
That would be awesome.
Speaker: 1
26:19
He would get kicked
Speaker: 0
26:19
out. Yeah. I just had Ron White come up on on stage just last Friday.
Speaker: 1
26:26
Oh, he was in Vegas?
Speaker: 0
26:26
He was in Vegas, and he came out and, you know, Ron’s just a hoot. He sai, he he comes in and I said, you know, what what I said, well, I I thought, you know, what do you want me to do? Ai I said, you just just do what I you know, don’t you don’t have to stress out. Don’t come out and do twenty minutes.
Speaker: 0
26:42
Just I think just poke your head out. I I have a I had a Sai have a bit in my act where I talk about my dad working at NASA and training astronauts, and it sai, like, Neil Armstrong and John Glenn, they all these pictures come up. And Katy Perry. Everybody goes, and sai, if my dad was alive, you could hear him right now. I go, what the fuck?
Speaker: 0
27:00
And I got Ron White to do the voice for it. Right? So the crowd they already know it. Can’t you just hear his voice. What the fuck?
Speaker: 0
27:06
And everybody’s like, Ron White. So I said, that sounds like Ron White. And I said, fucking sounds a lot like Ron White. And he he walks out, and he goes, well, no shit, Sherlock. And the crowd loses it. Right?
Speaker: 0
27:18
And he’s so he’s I was gonna come out here and say something, but you’re fucking and we I was having a good set. Fucking blowing the roof all of the fucking place. And so he says, do you still want it? I said, no, dude. I joke? Alright. I’ll do it.
Speaker: 0
27:32
And he did some joke, and it was great because he he’s he’s in I’m watching the whole show. He’s ai one of my meh, you know, heroes in life. He’s sitting there watching the show, and then then he’s gone for, ai, I don’t know. His bit’s coming up. I don’t know where he is.
Speaker: 0
27:46
And you could speak pot the whole the whole theater. So I ai meh sana since that joke. And I’m like, oh, fuck. I hope it’s I mean, Ron, you can’t, like, smoke weed in here. So he I go off after he meh he comes out, and he says he just it comes. So I said, alright. Another name for Ron White.
Speaker: 0
28:00
And I sai, some kind of I said, and if you smell weed, it’s probably he’s back he goes back in my dressing. Now there’s another show back that’s back down in there, all these stripper girls. And he’s they’re all like, hey. I didn’t know you partied. I’m like, what?
Speaker: 0
28:13
Like, I didn’t know you partied. I’ve been there nineteen years. I’m like, I don’t party. They’re like, no. That’s oh, that’s my friend, Ron. He’s smoking weed.
Speaker: 0
28:20
They’re like, holy she’s got good shit. I mean, it was it would just bellow through the whole lobby out into the lobby. Yeah.
Speaker: 1
28:26
He can go hard. Oh, he goes he Ai smoked weed with him and then done a sai. I’m like, oh my god. What am I talking about?
Speaker: 0
28:31
Yeah. No. He was so belligerent. He and then he left his weed and his wallet in my dressing room.
Speaker: 1
28:36
Oh, no. Did he do his wallet?
Speaker: 0
28:37
Yeah. Ai. I still have his wallet and his weed.
Speaker: 1
28:40
You know? He’s here. He lives here.
Speaker: 0
28:42
He does. I know. He’s he he was he said he might surprise me today at, later.
Speaker: 1
28:46
Oh, nice.
Speaker: 0
28:47
Meh and you’ve done with with Ai don’t know if I
Speaker: 1
28:50
I do shows with him every week.
Speaker: 0
28:51
It Every week.
Speaker: 1
28:53
Yeah. It’s
Speaker: 0
28:53
not great. He’s he’s he’s the best. He’s just,
Speaker: 1
28:56
he’s one of the main reasons why I moved here.
Speaker: 0
28:58
Meh, that’s crazy.
Speaker: 1
28:59
When, he moved here in February, I think, ’17 or ’18, I ai, ’18. And, I was like, wait. Where are you, man? I miss you. He’s like, Sai moved back to Austin. I fucking love it. It’s in the middle of the country. I can fly here from everywhere. It’s ai three hours no matter where you go. Three hours in New York, three hours to LA, perfectly centrally located. People are nice. Food’s great.
Speaker: 0
29:22
I was like, alright.
Speaker: 1
29:23
He’s right. He meh he got me thinking about Austin. And then when the pandemic hit, I was like, well, if I move to Austin, at the very least, Ron’s gonna be there. I’m like, there’s good comedy club there, but the comedy club had already closed. I’m like, but at least Ron’s there. You know? I’ll have a friend.
Speaker: 1
29:38
I just had to get out of LA. And Yeah. Sure. He was just raving about how come on down, man. Austin’s fucking awesome.
Speaker: 0
29:43
Who’s good? Fucking Yeah. Good. Hell, weed.
Speaker: 1
29:46
He’s also the one who talked me into opening up a club.
Speaker: 0
29:49
Awesome.
Speaker: 1
29:50
Yeah. It was it was totally wrong. He hadn’t done it’s sai really funny story. He hadn’t done stand up in, like, eight months. He goes, I’m fucking retired. Because it was the Yeah. Pandemic ram all the chaos. I’m fucking retired. I’m done. I got plenty of money. I’m just gonna enjoy life, and there’s nothing ai okay.
Speaker: 1
30:05
Come on, man. Really? I’m like, you’re so funny. Ai I just can’t believe that. And so then, Tony put on a show at the Vulcan.
Speaker: 1
30:12
Tony had done, ai, one or two shows indoors. I’m ai, which was crazy. Like, oh meh god. We’re doing shows indoors in 2020? This is madness. Right.
Speaker: 1
30:21
And then LA people arya freaking out. You’re killing, Graham. Yeah. Exactly. And so, Ron, was like, oh, fuck it. I don’t even know if I’m gonna do a set.
Speaker: 1
30:31
And then, he decided to go on stage. He went on stage. The audience went fucking bananas. He got a huge standing ovation. The moment he went on stage, murdered.
Speaker: 1
30:40
I mean, murdered for fifteen minutes. And then he came upstairs sana he grabbed me by my shoulders. And he goes, whatever the fuck we have to do, we’re gonna keep doing this. You gotta open that club. I’m like, okay. Okay.
Speaker: 1
30:51
We’re gonna
Speaker: 0
30:52
That’s great.
Speaker: 1
30:53
That was, the beginning of the comedy mothership. It was Ron White.
Speaker: 0
30:56
How great is that? Yeah.
Speaker: 1
30:57
He’s the he was the the original. He was the the Christopher Columbus, but that’s a bad example because that guy was a real piece of shit. You know, he was the original pioneer Yeah. That came here.
Speaker: 0
31:08
Yeah. Crazy. We went out I’m out of the last I’ll do one more Ron White story because it’s it’s it’s just incredible. I go I go he come we go out. There’s a little fancy, like, one of these posh little bars down in somewhere in the fancy hotel. And Ai even said, where do you wanna go? And ai says, this is kinda ai, you know, think we’re gonna go to a bar.
Speaker: 0
31:29
And he said, let’s go to the one at the arya or whatever. So we go, and it’s it’s real fancy. And we sit down, and the waitress walks over to us, and it’s there’s three of us, his wife, his his girlfriend, me, my friend. And I said, let’s do a crown of the rocks, and shah I’ll have a glass of wine.
Speaker: 0
31:45
And and I and as I look over to his wife, I said, would you like a a ram smoking weed? And Ron’s is literally he looks at he’s like, well, no fucking shit. And I go, Ron, you you can’t you can’t smoke pot in here. He goes, what the hell can’t you? Who who the hell is gonna throw Ron White and Carrot Top out of a fucking bar?
Speaker: 0
32:06
And within seconds, Metro is standing there going, you guys get the fuck out of here. And and Ron’s like, you gotta be fucking shit. I said, Ron, you can’t like, he just he the cops are there, and he’s like, well, they’re good. They’re good. I said, no. We’re we’re not good.
Speaker: 0
32:21
We gotta go. He just thought he you who’s gonna he did that in my backstage just last week. I sai, you can’t smoke pot back here. He’s it’s your fucking dressing room. What does that mean? It means you can’t keep your.
Speaker: 1
32:31
Is that I’ve got other
Speaker: 0
32:33
because I’ve got other no. Because I’ve got the other people, the girls, the show.
Speaker: 1
32:36
Oh, the next show.
Speaker: 0
32:37
There’s a lot of other people backstage that I can’t do.
Speaker: 1
32:40
The next show is ai strippers?
Speaker: 0
32:41
It’s called Fantasy. Yeah. Oh. It’s like my it’s like sai lot like my shah, except it’s it’s funnier, and there’s naked people. So yeah.
Speaker: 1
32:48
What is it?
Speaker: 0
32:48
It’s just a girls dancing revue show. Oh. They used to have something like that. They’re good. They’re good. Show.
Speaker: 1
32:53
It was called Crazy Girls. Yeah. It was like ai would host it.
Speaker: 0
32:58
Yep. Oh, god. That was kinda like this one. They haven’t even that they have it have a comic in the middle and then the girls yeah. That’s a good show. They’ve been there for a while.
Speaker: 1
33:05
It’s for people that want an excuse to see strippers, but they don’t wanna go to a strip club.
Speaker: 0
33:08
Right. Right.
Speaker: 1
33:09
So they do exactly what they say. You can take a date to a shah. Right.
Speaker: 0
33:13
Right.
Speaker: 1
33:13
Ram sai some titties.
Speaker: 0
33:14
Ai. Exact it’s it’s smart, isn’t it? It’s weird. So you wouldn’t go to a strip club, honey. We went to a fancy titty bar.
Speaker: 1
33:20
Vegas is such an odd place. There’s nothing like that place. It’s so strange. It’s just got such a history. I mean, it’s first of all, the beginning of it. Right? It’s founded by the mob. Like, they literally want a place where they can get gambling. And then in order to have legal gambling, there’s probably some sort of a deal where they let the government blow nukes off in the
Speaker: 0
33:40
in the middle of
Speaker: 1
33:40
the fountains. So there’s spots out there where you really can’t even visit because they detonated fifty, sixty nukes.
Speaker: 0
33:48
Yeah. It’s it’s crazy.
Speaker: 1
33:49
That’s what killed John Wayne, you
Speaker: 0
33:50
know? Vegas?
Speaker: 1
33:52
John Wayne was doing a movie in Nevada about Genghis Khan. It’s a terrible movie. And, he did that movie and a a giant percentage of the people that worked on the movie got cancer from
Speaker: 0
34:04
it. Oh, shit.
Speaker: 1
34:05
Because they were literally, like, right down the road from one of the test sites. Oh. Yeah.
Speaker: 0
34:12
That’s crazy. It’s fucked. Right? Yeah. But
Speaker: 1
34:14
I I always thought that’s probably one of the reasons why they allowed them to do the gambling thing there. They probably made some sort of a deal. Like, yeah, you can have gambling, but this is what we wanna do.
Speaker: 0
34:25
Yeah. We
Speaker: 1
34:25
wanna blow off nukes.
Speaker: 0
34:28
Jesus. I feel like that sometimes bryden I’m on stage at Luxor, it would if some something something ram comes down, and and it you can the crowd can see it. Just particle of something. It’s always like, oh, it’s nice. You know, you know, the place is fine. It’s just asbestos.
Speaker: 1
34:46
Well, it’s not nukes.
Speaker: 0
34:48
Luxor was
Speaker: 1
34:48
built in, like, what, the early two thousands? Yeah.
Speaker: 0
34:51
Ai wouldn’t be new it wouldn’t be nuclear stuff.
Speaker: 1
34:53
When was that place built?
Speaker: 0
34:54
Yeah. Something like that.
Speaker: 1
34:55
What? 2000 or something
Speaker: 0
34:56
like that?
Speaker: 1
34:57
Because when we felt Fear Factor,
Speaker: 0
34:59
there was, like, two thousand four years. Twenty of them. So yeah. But February.
Speaker: 1
35:03
Yeah. So I don’t think they use asbestos, but it’s just such a weird place. ’93. Oh, wow. No kidding.
Speaker: 0
35:13
Oh, shit. We’re way I’m way off. Wow. And I worked there. Fuck.
Speaker: 1
35:17
Not too far off. Ten years.
Speaker: 0
35:20
Wow. Look at that.
Speaker: 1
35:23
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35:48
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Speaker: 1
36:54
It was a great idea.
Speaker: 0
36:56
Yeah. It’s still phenomenal. You walk inside it. It’s just breathtaking here.
Speaker: 1
37:00
I was there recently.
Speaker: 0
37:01
I went to see Shah. Ai. They walk in. You walk in, it’s like you know, I’m Ai actually do a joke like that. See, I got I had sex on this really hot chicken, and then they finally threw me out of the Bodies exhibit or something stupid if you have a joke.
Speaker: 1
37:13
That Bodies exhibit is fucking creepy. Do you know the story behind that place?
Speaker: 0
37:18
I well, a little I mean, yeah. That kind of.
Speaker: 1
37:21
They’re mostly, well, they don’t really know, like, where they’re getting the bodies, but they do know that a lot of them are political prisoners.
Speaker: 0
37:32
Mhmm.
Speaker: 1
37:33
Yeah. So it’s basically, like, people that ran a foul of the Chinese government, so they whack them and turn them into statues.
Speaker: 0
37:40
Wow. That’s creepy. It’s right it’s right outside meh theater. Yeah. Well Goddamn.
Speaker: 1
37:46
A lot of them, they they call, like, unidentified bodies. But the the real problem is, like, to be a unidentified body, you have to be unidentified for thirty days. But then in order to do the plastination process where they turn you into a statue, it has to take place within forty eight hours of death. So someone’s lying.
Speaker: 0
38:08
Fuck. Yeah. Someone’s lying. Sai lot more sense than that.
Speaker: 1
38:12
A lot of
Speaker: 0
38:12
them in bullet holes. What a what a great place to have a comedy club ai next to, like, the Titanic Museum and dead fucking bodies. Right? Yeah. That didn’t get you more in a mood for a show. I saw that too. The Titanic Museum. Yeah. The Titanic Museum.
Speaker: 1
38:23
That’s pretty dope. They ever actually have a big chunk of the Titanic on display there. Yeah.
Speaker: 0
38:26
Ai been in there.
Speaker: 1
38:27
Yeah. But it was what a wild time where people would just get on a fucking boat and travel across the ocean with no YouTube, no GPS, hope they didn’t hit an iceberg. And that was, like, super fancy high-tech travel. Imagine the people that traveled thirty, forty years before that. Wooden boats.
Speaker: 0
38:48
Yeah.
Speaker: 1
38:49
Not having any idea. Just going on a a a promise that you had a job waiting on the other side of the fucking ocean.
Speaker: 0
38:59
Ai. Yeah.
Speaker: 1
39:00
That’s what my grandparents got here.
Speaker: 0
39:03
They’re are probably comics on those cruise ships working on it. Terrible comics on those cruise ships.
Speaker: 1
39:07
That’s the worst job in comics.
Speaker: 0
39:09
Ever, ai? Ever. I did one. That’s my only one.
Speaker: 1
39:13
It’s one of those things where a guy you know, there’s some guys that like it. Like, I know Alonzo Bodden does, like, jazz cruises. Like, Alonzo Bodden is a he’s a great comic, but he’s also, like, a giant jazz fan. Loves jazz music. So he’ll go on jazz cruises, and it’s it’s probably perfect for him because, like, it’s like if I went on an MMA cruise, you know, I ai Bring you.
Speaker: 1
39:34
Talk about Right. It’s like you can talk about subjects that most people in a regular crowd, like, what the fuck is
Speaker: 0
39:40
he talking
Speaker: 1
39:40
about? You’re talking about obscure jazz music, you know? Yeah.
Speaker: 0
39:44
No. That would work.
Speaker: 1
39:45
I have
Speaker: 0
39:45
a lot of friends who love cruise ships. I just don’t yeah.
Speaker: 1
39:47
Have you heard what they’re doing with AI music speak in jazz? Yes. They they did fifth I sent it to Jamie today. They took 50 Cents Meh Men and made it, like, a soulful song that seems like it’s from the fifties or sixties. Have you heard this?
Speaker: 0
40:04
No. But I heard I’ve heard a few other ones, not the 50¢ one.
Speaker: 1
40:07
Dude, you wanna listen to it? Yeah. It’s so fucking good. I I sent it to Brian Simpson, and he sai, that is the best fucking thing you’ve ever sent me.
Speaker: 0
40:13
And so they just they just they just did that?
Speaker: 1
40:16
Yes. Through AI. It’s not even a real human being’s voice, and it’s fucking good, dude.
Speaker: 0
40:22
Oh, man.
Speaker: 1
40:22
It’s good where you’re like, woah. Listen to this. Yeah. It seems weird hearing these lyrics with this kind of singing, you know, because it’s ai hardcore gangsta rap music, but with listen to this, though. It’s ai crazy that they’re doing. Many men
Speaker: 0
40:41
wish stepped upon me. Bloody light all and I can’t see. I’m just trying to be Yeah. What I’m destined to be. And Nick Ai. Ain’t that great? Oh, geez.
Speaker: 1
41:11
It gets better. It is.
Speaker: 0
41:13
Ai put a hole in a knicker for fucking with me. My back on the wall now you gonna see. Better watch how you talk when you talk about meh. Ai I’ll come and take your life away. Whoo. Alright. Great. How incredible.
Speaker: 0
41:47
Mini man
Speaker: 1
41:49
Nobody sings lyrics like that with those kind of lyrics. No. It’s gangster ram with an incredible voice. It Ai is fucking scary, man.
Speaker: 0
41:59
Yeah.
Speaker: 1
41:59
That’s so good. Yeah. If that was a dude if that was a dude who sang that, I was like, who’s this
Speaker: 0
42:05
guy? Right.
Speaker: 1
42:05
You know, I’m like, this guy is fine.
Speaker: 0
42:07
You’re That’s ai kind of stuff we’re gonna be yeah. But, I mean, the first time I heard about it was, Randy Travis had a song out, and I love Randy Travis. Saloni was like, he has a new album out. He’s not doing well. He can’t you know, he hasn’t mailed him.
Speaker: 1
42:19
That’s right. They used AI, but that was his decision. Right?
Speaker: 0
42:22
Yes.
Speaker: 1
42:22
Yeah. I think he
Speaker: 0
42:23
wrote the music. Yeah. I think he did. But it just blew me away. My we had a whole fight with my crew, like, it’s AI. It’s not fucking AI. It’s AI. And then they came back and they said it ai.
Speaker: 1
42:33
But they said it was is is, like, this is not a real person’s voice. Right. Right. And the sana it’s probably a conglomeration of multiple different singers for us. At least at least I’m guessing. Is it actually a guy?
Speaker: 3
42:42
I don’t know where this started, but I’m looking at ai one that I’m looking at. They are trying to sell this, like, it’s a a they ai to make it seem like 50¢ covered this song from some guy named Shifty Brent.
Speaker: 1
42:52
Oh, yeah. But they do that stuff. They did that with the Chris Rock thing. When Chris Rock got slapped by Will Smith, they tried to pretend that it was an old television shah. Yeah. And they did an AI version of his old television show where a guy goes on stage and slaps the comedian. It’s really funny. It’s AI is so squirrelly.
Speaker: 0
43:09
Yeah.
Speaker: 1
43:09
They’re probably just trying to make money. That’s why they did it. But, god ram, it’s good.
Speaker: 0
43:13
But the but the Randy Travis one,
Speaker: 1
43:14
you’re saying his voice.
Speaker: 0
43:16
But I don’t think so.
Speaker: 1
43:17
No. No. It is. So what they do is, like, it’s my voice too. Like, they they use AI with my there’s a there’s a whole podcast with me and Steve Jobs. I never met Steve Jobs.
Speaker: 0
43:25
Oh, god.
Speaker: 1
43:26
There’s a whole podcast that somebody made with AI. AI because you have Steve Jobs’ voice and you have my voice, thousands and thousands of hours. Every sound that I can make with my voice Sure. Is already been made. Sai all the computer has to
Speaker: 0
43:37
do like that.
Speaker: 1
43:39
Weird noises. Weird noises. But all the computer has to do is just take a a giant amount of your
Speaker: 0
43:47
noises Sure. Sure.
Speaker: 1
43:48
And then apply and then apply it differently. Emotionally, slowly, somberly, angrily, and you can just put it all together.
Speaker: 0
43:55
They had they just had one with me something. Someone did. And it was ai, what the and it was me doing something, you know.
Speaker: 1
44:01
Do they do ram phone calls where people call people?
Speaker: 0
44:04
And so I’ve been kidnapped. I need money. That’s what it was. It was not it was, hey. It’s it’s it’s me. I’m ai. If you could, help me out. I need, and it was like Ai was bryden I was down and out. I needed the money.
Speaker: 1
44:15
And they But it was me and stop sucking my ai. And we’re ai the desert. Speak money. Yeah. There’s it’s it’s it’s real weird because it’s super good now. In in the beginning, when we first started hearing it, it was kind of obvious because the inflections were off. Ai, the way you would say something, like like, the inflections in that song
Speaker: 0
44:35
That’s amazing.
Speaker: 1
44:36
Was insane. Yeah. You know? That’s ai. The I’ll take your ai. Watch how you’re talking about me. Take your whole life away.
Speaker: 0
44:45
That’s great.
Speaker: 1
44:45
Oh, you hear it? You’re ai, damn. Sai that means that that we we associate with a a soulful incredibly creative person with an amazing god given talent of a voice, but it’s not.
Speaker: 0
45:00
Right.
Speaker: 1
45:00
That’s what’s crazy. Like, they nailed it. Even though I know it’s fake, I love it. Yeah. And you love it too. Like, we’re listening like
Speaker: 0
45:06
this. No. That was great. That was beautiful.
Speaker: 1
45:08
But we know it’s fake. That’s kind of crazy. The Randy Travis thing is different because what they just did is he wrote it, and then he can’t sing anymore. But they have thousands of hours of him singing.
Speaker: 0
45:18
Singing, so they took
Speaker: 1
45:19
They take that and then just turn it into him singing.
Speaker: 0
45:22
That’s amazing.
Speaker: 1
45:23
It is him singing. It’s actually his voice. It’s just not coming out of his mouth. It’s coming out of technology, but it is his voice.
Speaker: 0
45:30
Crazy.
Speaker: 1
45:30
And it’s his writing. Ai? So it’s like it really is a Randy Travis album. It’s just Randy like, you can enjoy someone that can’t do it anymore, but it’s still alive.
Speaker: 0
45:41
Right. Sure.
Speaker: 1
45:42
You know? Like, that guy had so many great songs.
Speaker: 0
45:46
Oh, man.
Speaker: 1
45:46
Oh ai god. That guy has I
Speaker: 0
45:48
could go on forever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever.
Speaker: 1
45:51
Well, you have to.
Speaker: 0
45:52
No. He’s got so meh. I love I mean, that was my first, big country. Says Kenny Rogers, and my dad would be able to see Kenny Rogers every goddamn every concert my dad went to is Kenny Rogers. Really? Literally.
Speaker: 1
46:04
That’s hilarious.
Speaker: 0
46:05
And then he goes Oh,
Speaker: 1
46:06
we put the head No.
Speaker: 0
46:06
I I figured We forgot. We forgot. Ai off because it’s yeah. I I feel more animated.
Speaker: 1
46:11
Yeah. There you go.
Speaker: 0
46:12
The, this is weird. So we get he goes to see Kenny Rogers, and I’m I’m just, like, 12 or something, 13. He says, you wanna go? So my dad’s I said, I’ll go to Kenny. First concert with Kenny Rogers. It’s, like, huge. He was playing, like, arenas. It was him and Tammy Ai, and that was great.
Speaker: 1
46:28
You gotta know when
Speaker: 0
46:29
meh write all the hits. No. And they go them. Yeah. That’s great. No wind of all Kuwait. Yeah. And then saloni concert I go to was Kenny Rogers. Right? So I’m like, jeez. Alright. I don’t think there’s anything else but Kenny Rogers. Right? Third time I go to this fucking thing.
Speaker: 0
46:44
I’m like, dad, is is it can we go to, like, Alabama? Can we go to another another concert? Because he loved Alabama. He loved his no. Kenny Rogers is so then I meet Kenny Rogers in an elevator in LA. Like, it’s just the weirdest thing. Ding. Doors open. And he gets standing. He gets on.
Speaker: 0
47:01
I said I said, oh, man. I don’t bother. You’re legend. He’s like, thank you. I said, do you know the first concert I ever went to?
Speaker: 0
47:09
He says, I’m gonna say me. I said, yep. He said, that’s awesome. I said, you know the second concert I went to? He says, nope. I said, you.
Speaker: 0
47:17
He says, wow. That’s awesome. I said, you wanna do the third? He goes, alright. Fuck off. And I he goes, fuck off. Where are we going with this?
Speaker: 0
47:24
I said, my dad took me to your concert three times in a row. He would take us, well, you had a you have a great dad. And I and then it was just kinda awkward. He was just we’re just I
Speaker: 1
47:32
kinda ran it out. That’s exactly what we’re talking
Speaker: 0
47:34
about. You act weird in front of celebrities. And I did ai and and we’re look I’m look we’re just looking at the numbers and we’re going up and finally I said, oh, you know what? You have great chicken. And I’m like, what the fuck? I didn’t know what else to sai. And but he really did have those great chicken roasters thing.
Speaker: 0
47:47
And that’s what I said. And he went, like he looked at me ai, fuck off. I said, no. I and the sides are great too. The the chicken
Speaker: 1
47:54
That that song, the gambler, how many people did that turn into gambling junkies? Right. Romanticized ai. You made it seem so you gotta know when to hold them. Ai do I do. I know when.
Speaker: 0
48:04
But he got a wonderful one.
Speaker: 1
48:05
I know where to run.
Speaker: 0
48:06
Yeah. I know what I’m doing. I got the
Speaker: 1
48:08
Did they make a TV movie about that? Wasn’t there a
Speaker: 0
48:11
TV movie? Yeah. Called the gam wasn’t it called the gambler?
Speaker: 1
48:15
I think there’s a TV movie called the gambler. I
Speaker: 0
48:17
think so. We’ll find out in seconds.
Speaker: 1
48:22
Yep. Yeah. Yeah. There’s something about there’s something about music that was created before the the Internet. Yeah. The gambler.
Speaker: 0
48:29
Here you go.
Speaker: 1
48:30
The gambler. Look at him. What year is this?
Speaker: 0
48:33
It’s 1980.
Speaker: 1
48:36
There’s something about stuff that was created before the Internet that’s so fascinating.
Speaker: 0
48:41
Oh, right.
Speaker: 1
48:41
It’s like an archaeological dig. You know? Like, this is like That’s just great.
Speaker: 0
48:45
Like That even looks great. Meh me just It’s like you wanna watch it. Can I
Speaker: 1
48:50
see it? Can I listen? Because it’s like an archaeological dig. Like, you’re you’re looking at, like, the way people used to behave and talk Mhmm. Before the Internet. Right. You know, it’s weird. It is? It’s ai oddly fake. You know? It’s like oddly, like
Speaker: 0
49:06
Interesting how you you ai that way. That’s what now Sai wanna see what you’re talking about.
Speaker: 1
49:11
Yeah. Ai, I’m being, I’m an amateur archaeologist here. This is a different ai. Human beings from 1980 were like a different thing. Everybody would just leave the house. Everyone had a key. Ai. There’ll be fucking nobody knew where anybody was at any given
Speaker: 3
49:28
time. Right.
Speaker: 1
49:29
You left the house. You were gone. We didn’t even have answering machines yet.
Speaker: 0
49:32
Right. Right.
Speaker: 1
49:33
Ai people were basically wild animals who
Speaker: 0
49:36
lived in houses. Right. We had no
Speaker: 1
49:38
And they only knew how to behave from movies and TV. Give me some of this. Sorry.
Speaker: 3
49:42
It’s just playing the music. I
Speaker: 1
49:43
could Oh, is it still playing the music? Yeah. Can’t be going. Oh, okay. Is this the theme song?
Speaker: 3
49:48
I mean, it’s playing the song, the Game Boy.
Speaker: 1
49:49
I want
Speaker: 0
49:50
it. Yeah. That’s great. That’s so funny.
Speaker: 1
49:52
Look at it. Even at the way it looks the way it looks, it looks so cornball. It’s just kind of amazing. You know? I do.
Speaker: 0
50:01
We just How about
Speaker: 1
50:02
it? People just kind of accepted.
Speaker: 0
50:05
I love the fact that how you put it. There’s there was there there not even having, self recall.
Speaker: 1
50:10
Yeah. Answer machines.
Speaker: 0
50:11
Answer machines. Sai they were just gone. We’re wild animals. Know. You’re very wild animals.
Speaker: 1
50:14
People in 1980 were essentially wild animals. They’re wild animals who had children. No one knew what was going on in the world. Everybody was completely uninformed.
Speaker: 0
50:23
Right. Isn’t that right?
Speaker: 1
50:24
It’s crazy. We’re all worried that Russia was gonna blow us up. That was every day. Everybody’s worried about Russia blowing us up, and no one knew what was going sana, and everybody lived in bliss. And you only knew the people in your neighborhood. Didn’t know anybody else.
Speaker: 0
50:37
No.
Speaker: 1
50:37
You didn’t know, like True. Speak there’s there wasn’t even one one hundredth of the amount of famous people back then. There’s a tiny amount of famous people. There was Elvis and a few other folks. Yeah. There’s a few rock
Speaker: 0
50:48
stars. Yeah.
Speaker: 1
50:49
Yeah. A few comics. There’s, like, Richard Pryor.
Speaker: 0
50:51
Ai. Or TV shows that you find ai think you know?
Speaker: 1
50:55
Yeah. Dude. Animals. Back in the We were look at Kenny Rogers. These are wild animals that have just been introduced to technology, and they’re aping what it’s like to be a grown up. Like, they’re just figuring it out.
Speaker: 0
51:08
That’s so weird.
Speaker: 1
51:09
Here we are. We’re like the teenagers. We’re the adolescents
Speaker: 0
51:12
Yeah.
Speaker: 1
51:13
Of of civilization. So we ai that’s kinda silly and everything. There’s a but there’s stuff from then that’s better than stuff that’s today for for whatever weird reason. There’s some music back then that hits you because, like, you ai, like, how special this really like Prince, for instance.
Speaker: 1
51:31
Ai, meh the first time I listened to Prince, I listened to, I was delivering newspapers at the ai, and I listened to Ai sana be your lover. And I was like, who the fuck is this guy, man? Like, this guy was coming out of nowhere. He was, like, completely, androgynous. Like, he was a beautiful man with his long flowing hair, and the first album is him with his shirt off
Speaker: 0
51:57
just
Speaker: 1
51:57
staring at you. Like, what the
Speaker: 0
51:58
fuck is going on?
Speaker: 1
52:00
And then Ai wanna be your lover. I heard that. I was like, oh ai god. This guy’s talented. But he was, like, out of nowhere talented. You know what I mean? Like, who the fuck was like that guy before him?
Speaker: 0
52:13
Right.
Speaker: 1
52:13
He was completely different than anybody that came before.
Speaker: 0
52:16
The only one I think that would people compare with Michael Jackson because of the
Speaker: 1
52:20
He’s very different too.
Speaker: 0
52:21
Right. But that hit because because I remember when Prince came out, I’m like, oh, he’s trying to be Michael Jackson. Oh, no. Yeah. But he he wouldn’t. He was
Speaker: 1
52:27
What year is this?
Speaker: 3
52:28
This is his first performance.
Speaker: 1
52:30
Oh, let me see this.
Speaker: 3
52:30
I think it’s at ’84 or something.
Speaker: 1
52:32
Let me hear some of this.
Speaker: 0
52:35
There you go. There’s your song.
Speaker: 1
52:36
Yeah. Go on, man. What a song. Look at him.
Speaker: 0
52:42
No. Yeah. Bro. You could it’s so funny. This this this video, you take if you took the sound off this and you put in, like, Cinderella, it would probably match his his Aerosmith. But it looked how he’s doing it, but he was like, he did this. He walked this way. Right. Right.
Speaker: 0
53:00
He’s got even if you took the it looks like it
Speaker: 1
53:02
was rock and hole.
Speaker: 0
53:04
Yes.
Speaker: 1
53:04
He was so compelling. I bet women were so confused why they wanted to fuck him.
Speaker: 0
53:16
Like, why don’t I wanna fuck that woman? They wanted to fuck him.
Speaker: 1
53:18
They did. They’re like, he cracked the
Speaker: 0
53:20
code. He figured something out. They did. When you’re a five foot three
Speaker: 1
53:24
dude with insane amount of talent Yeah. And you’re wearing stiletto heels on stage, and everybody wants to fuck you. Yep. Because he was that fucking
Speaker: 0
53:31
talented. Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker: 1
53:33
He was that talented.
Speaker: 0
53:34
Got it. And then
Speaker: 1
53:34
it was also his music was so wild. Like, that song Head, I remember that ai. That was like what year was Head? Was shah, like, ’86 or something like that? Like, what year was that? Not my music.
Speaker: 0
53:50
The thing. ’80? Yep.
Speaker: 1
53:53
Wow. 1980. So this is an before I was in high school, sana. This is before I was in high school.
Speaker: 0
54:01
You had
Speaker: 1
54:01
a song about blowjobs.
Speaker: 0
54:03
Yeah.
Speaker: 1
54:03
Morning, noon, and night, I’ll give you
Speaker: 0
54:05
a head. Yep.
Speaker: 1
54:06
Till you burn it up head. Do you love his red head? Love you till you’re dead. Ow.
Speaker: 0
54:12
You know, prince people Crazy. Prince people reached out to our our people one night and asked if they could come to the show when he was at the Rio.
Speaker: 1
54:18
Woah.
Speaker: 0
54:19
And we said, well, fuck. Yeah. We what do you mean? Of course, we would. And then they said there’s only one one caveat. I said, what’s that? You can’t curse.
Speaker: 1
54:27
Prince hates cursing? Yeah. For real? For real?
Speaker: 0
54:30
Well, yeah.
Speaker: 1
54:31
So maybe just wanted to fuck with you. Maybe How much power do I have?
Speaker: 0
54:34
Yeah. I do tell you. Well, I
Speaker: 1
54:37
Ai don’t think
Speaker: 0
54:37
I was but I was
Speaker: 1
54:38
like wanna hear swears tonight.
Speaker: 0
54:39
Tell her. I would tell my my p I said I said, hold on a second. He’s ai me I can’t curse? I said, yeah. That’s the only thing. I said, but I his he has a song called cream. Get off. Yeah. Ram. Right? Yeah. And they’re like, yeah. I’m like, no.
Speaker: 0
54:52
I’m not gonna change my whole
Speaker: 1
54:54
Oh, he became a devoted Jehovah’s Witness Yeah. And as a result stopped using profanity. Yeah. Even implementing a cash swear jar at his Paisley Park studio to enforce his no swearing policy. Witnesses believe that using blasphemous or foul language is a sana, and Prince adhered to this tenant by removing swear words from his music and charging people for any foul language spoken at his compound.
Speaker: 1
55:18
Well
Speaker: 0
55:18
I’m already down, like, 200 I’m already fined $200 today, I think.
Speaker: 1
55:22
As much as I love that guy, I would not visit him. I would be like, I can’t do that.
Speaker: 0
55:25
I know. That’s what I Ai don’t wanna do that. That’s what I said. I said
Speaker: 1
55:27
Maybe I would. Maybe I’d visit him once. Maybe I’d talk to him once. I would just, like, like, if I’m gonna go talk to a priest, I’m not gonna go swear. You know what I mean? Right. I’m gonna ai try to be nice.
Speaker: 0
55:36
Yeah.
Speaker: 1
55:37
But, like, at a certain point in time, like, I don’t wanna perpetuate this really stupid idea that different sounds that you make with your mouth are uniquely offensive. It’s what you’re you’re saying. It’s supposed to be a sound that I make so you know what I’m thinking. And if you have words that you could substitute for these thoughts that are if you have a thought that is only expressed through fuck you
Speaker: 0
56:05
Right.
Speaker: 1
56:06
Like, we know what fuck you means, and everybody says fuck you. Do for you to say that you can’t say that anymore, you’re manipulating language to make it have less nuance. That’s never good.
Speaker: 0
56:17
Yeah.
Speaker: 1
56:18
Like, it’s already not nuanced enough. Like, it it still doesn’t quite grasp exactly what you’re thinking or what you’re saying. And the worst case scenario of it is when someone writes down what you’re saying instead of, like, hearing you say it in context with the conversation that you’re having.
Speaker: 1
56:35
Right?
Speaker: 0
56:36
Right.
Speaker: 1
56:36
So it’s ai, anybody who says don’t use certain words, like, stop being a baby. Stop being a baby. These are just noises you make sai that you we can understand you you can
Speaker: 0
56:47
all that shit is nonsense.
Speaker: 1
56:49
It’s stupid. Yeah. It’s stupid, and it was mostly created, I think look, first of all, on television. Right? Television, you had advertising, and that was the only place where there was advertising. And so that was the only place that had a proven audience. But to keep that proven audience on NBC and CBS, you had a institute laws Right.
Speaker: 1
57:09
Where you’re you literally would get ai, like, a serious amount of money if you swore on TV. And then cable came along, and everybody you know, Sam Kinison was, like, HBO.
Speaker: 0
57:20
Right.
Speaker: 1
57:20
Ai and you’re, like, what? This is way better. Like, why can’t we just talk? Right. But, again, this is cave people. Right. Kinison on HBO was 86.
Speaker: 0
57:28
Right. No one knew what the fuck was going on, dude. Right. No one knew
Speaker: 1
57:31
what the fuck was going
Speaker: 0
57:32
on back then. Prior? Yeah. It was just amazing.
Speaker: 1
57:35
When I was a kid, I was at my friend Jimmy Lawless’s house, and we watched Eddie Murphy delirious. I think we were all, like what year was that? ’80 I wanna say I was 15 maybe.
Speaker: 0
57:48
Delirious. ’86?
Speaker: 1
57:50
I wanna say I was like 15 or 16. I couldn’t believe how funny it was. I was like, this is insane. Oh, no. Yeah. He’s talking about the the the honeymooners fucking each other in the ass.
Speaker: 0
58:02
I know. It’s just
Speaker: 1
58:03
Jackie Gleason is fucking Ed Norton in the ass. No. Ai been looking at you. Like, this is insane. How is this on TV?
Speaker: 0
58:11
86. 83. 83?
Speaker: 1
58:14
Yeah. Wow.
Speaker: 0
58:16
And believe me. Right? One of us. Yeah.
Speaker: 1
58:19
Yeah. That I think No.
Speaker: 0
58:20
You have to you’re right. This guy meh, like, 15. Fucking
Speaker: 1
58:24
crazy. It was so good, dude. Yeah.
Speaker: 0
58:26
What about that?
Speaker: 1
58:27
And it was new. It was, like, all of a bryden, you’re sai you’re hearing someone just swearing on TV. Yeah. Like, this is crazy. How ram I even watching this?
Speaker: 0
58:35
Right. That’s well well, it was that was a big change in every and then Yeah. Because the cable
Speaker: 1
58:41
Well, cable and then VHS tapes where you can go and, like, you could rent Delirious.
Speaker: 0
58:46
Right.
Speaker: 1
58:46
Would rent it.
Speaker: 0
58:47
Wouldn’t it too when we had to right.
Speaker: 1
58:49
Yeah. You go home, put it in, meh popcorn out, and you sana to watch the lyrics.
Speaker: 0
58:53
We were gangster and people. Yeah. We were gay people. We were gay people. We were telling stories by the fire. Yeah. Literally. Right.
Speaker: 1
59:00
No. Ai I never
Speaker: 0
59:02
got You’re a big star. Him.
Speaker: 1
59:05
Oh. Like, that that was our form of entertainment.
Speaker: 0
59:07
Sai weird. Do you think back about that? Could you keep bringing this up? Isn’t that weird? Because I’m I’m about your age and that we didn’t have any we didn’t like you said, we didn’t have an answering machine. Yeah. We had nothing. We had nothing.
Speaker: 1
59:15
We had nothing. I think we are the perfect we’re we’re the perfect people to, like, really understand the change the society has gone through and how spectacular that change is because we we were there when there was none, where there was nothing, where walkie talkies were crazy.
Speaker: 1
59:33
Yeah.
Speaker: 0
59:34
That was huge. If someone got a walkie talkie, that was nuts. You could you
Speaker: 1
59:37
could talk to your friends in
Speaker: 0
59:39
the in your bedroom. You have to be quiet. So good.
Speaker: 1
59:41
Bro, what’s going on over there? Over.
Speaker: 0
59:44
Yeah. Yeah. Right. As long as you guys are, like, reasonably calm. Pulled in over. Yeah. It was the craziest in
Speaker: 1
59:49
the world. You could talk in a walkie talkie. Or I knew
Speaker: 0
59:51
a dude who had a CB in his car. He would just
Speaker: 1
59:54
have random conversations with people.
Speaker: 0
59:56
Bro, they would just start talking about stuff. Like breaker one
Speaker: 1
59:59
Yeah. Breaker one nine. What you up to?
Speaker: 0
01:00:01
Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker: 1
01:00:02
Yeah. And they would just have conversations, and people would meet people.
Speaker: 0
01:00:05
Ai. Like you sai, and the smoking the ban it. That was that that was that but that that is the about the time you’re talking about too where
Speaker: 1
01:00:10
they were
Speaker: 0
01:00:11
we had c b’s, but they’re also, like, the caveman. They were just Yeah. It was it was it was
Speaker: 1
01:00:15
But you were the cool guy if
Speaker: 0
01:00:16
you had a c b in your truck. Yeah.
Speaker: 1
01:00:18
If you had a c b in your truck, you were cool.
Speaker: 0
01:00:21
Yeah.
Speaker: 1
01:00:21
Didn’t didn’t Burt Reynolds have a CB in his Trans Am?
Speaker: 0
01:00:25
Yeah. Of course, he
Speaker: 1
01:00:26
did. Did he?
Speaker: 0
01:00:26
Yeah. He had to. Yeah. He had to talk
Speaker: 1
01:00:28
about Trans Am.
Speaker: 0
01:00:29
Yeah. He did. Hey. Hey, big what’s up, Burt? Fries. And we’re gonna pull over here and feed their dog and bryden four good buddy.
Speaker: 1
01:00:35
That is the ultimate cool guy. He’s got a walkie talkie in his Trans Am with a cowboy hat on.
Speaker: 0
01:00:40
Fucking ai. That’s my fault. By the way, that’s it is one of my only movies that I own on my iPod.
Speaker: 1
01:00:46
Bro, it is another archaeological site. It’s a dig. They’ve dug down to another time of human beings where this is the coolest guy in the world. Yeah. A guy runs from the cops in a Trans Am with a ai on the fucking hood. And he’s talking on a CP with his
Speaker: 0
01:01:02
cowboy hat on. I
Speaker: 1
01:01:06
ai, this And
Speaker: 0
01:01:06
that was the first movie that It’s like Greek theater. Yeah. First movie, they broke the camera. The third what do you call that? Where they look in the camera third wall? Yeah. Yeah. That was the first movie. What did you call that?
Speaker: 1
01:01:17
Fourth wall. Fourth wall. Fourth wall.
Speaker: 0
01:01:18
Fourth wall. It’s right when he’s when he first being chased.
Speaker: 1
01:01:21
Yeah. Thank god, Jim.
Speaker: 0
01:01:21
He’s going down the he’s going he’s he he he loses him in the alley in the very beginning, chasing, And he’s going like he’s backing in like this, and he looks at the camera. He goes it’s ai, that was fucking awesome. Like, he just he just gave that look. I mean
Speaker: 1
01:01:35
Oh, Burt Reynolds had so much charisma.
Speaker: 0
01:01:37
It was great.
Speaker: 1
01:01:38
He was so
Speaker: 0
01:01:38
good. Ai sheriff. I mean, goddamn it. How great is that whole
Speaker: 1
01:01:41
But you know where
Speaker: 0
01:01:42
it’s really great? Give me a dabble sandwich and a Doctor Pepper very quick. I’m in a goddamn hurry.
Speaker: 1
01:01:46
Yeah.
Speaker: 0
01:01:46
Where are you at? Who’s chasing you? No one’s chasing me. I’m sheriff Buford. No one’s chasing me. You stay here, and you’d you’d meh you think about it, but don’t do it. Yeah. His kids on the car.
Speaker: 1
01:02:01
Dude, Jackie Gleason was amazing in that. That’s an attention getter. Yeah. He was so good at that.
Speaker: 0
01:02:08
That’s called an intention getter.
Speaker: 1
01:02:10
Do you remember, Burt Reynolds in Deliverance?
Speaker: 0
01:02:13
Oh, yeah. Absolutely. That was
Speaker: 1
01:02:15
that was an insane Crazy. Crazy. That was an insane that was when you get to see him as an actual actor.
Speaker: 0
01:02:20
Yep.
Speaker: 1
01:02:21
You’re like, oh, this guy was good. He was a good actor. Great movie.
Speaker: 0
01:02:24
You know
Speaker: 1
01:02:24
what I mean? Like, it wasn’t just Smokey and the Band Sai. Ai.
Speaker: 0
01:02:27
Sure. No.
Speaker: 1
01:02:27
The guy having a good ai, super charming.
Speaker: 0
01:02:29
Right. Right. Right. Yeah. Great mustache. Hooper out of the camera. Yeah.
Speaker: 1
01:02:32
He was fun, man. Yeah. Like, in Deliverance.
Speaker: 0
01:02:34
Look at that.
Speaker: 1
01:02:35
It was ai right out of him, right when he was done playing football.
Speaker: 0
01:02:39
Yep.
Speaker: 1
01:02:40
Oh, that’s right. He kills a guy with a bow, doesn’t he?
Speaker: 0
01:02:43
Crazy movie.
Speaker: 1
01:02:44
Yeah, man. It was a good movie. That was a good movie.
Speaker: 0
01:02:48
Ai got to meet him. He’s cool as hell.
Speaker: 1
01:02:50
That’s a very intense movie. Pie fight. You had a pie fight with Burt Reynolds?
Speaker: 0
01:02:54
Sai was on The Tonight Show. Burt Reynolds this is crazy. Burt Reynolds was a was the lead guest. He came out and talked about being married, like, nine times. Mark Summers, who who hosted the, game show, whatever it was, Mark Summers. He came out, and Burt moves down to the second chair, and and Mark sits here’s Jay.
Speaker: 0
01:03:14
And he he he puts his back to Burt, and he starts telling him, you know, you know, something being you know, I’ve I’ve only been married once, and Bert’s over there, you know, kind of getting a little first, he’s got his back to him. Then he he takes the cup, the mug, and he says he went to take it. He says, is this mine? He says, I don’t give a shit.
Speaker: 0
01:03:37
And he says, well, you’ve been married five times. I don’t wanna he ai trying to be funny. Like, I don’t drink after you’ve been married five times because it kinda hurt. They got oh, here it is. Now here’s the best part. I’m watch. Woah. Oh, no.
Speaker: 0
01:03:50
This is real shit. I’m I’m a guest. I’m I’m gonna I’m gonna threw a drink on him.
Speaker: 1
01:03:54
Yeah. So is this planned? No. No. No. And who’s the other dude?
Speaker: 0
01:03:57
Mark Summers.
Speaker: 1
01:03:58
And who’s Tyler Summers?
Speaker: 3
01:03:59
He’s the host of Double Dare
Speaker: 0
01:04:00
Double Dare. Thank you. Nickelodeon stuff. Now watch now watch how angry Bert watch he look. He’s look. Watch him watch. He’s they didn’t have this plan, by the way. Oh. But he Bert hits him hard. Yo. That hurt. Meh me
Speaker: 1
01:04:19
look at the torque he got in that right hand. I want you to watch this again. Bro. He got hip into that?
Speaker: 0
01:04:25
No. He was feeling this right ai. At the end, if you watch it, he’ll go, hey, Caratthol will be here tomorrow night.
Speaker: 1
01:04:31
He hit
Speaker: 0
01:04:32
the end.
Speaker: 1
01:04:32
Let’s look look look at this frame by frame.
Speaker: 0
01:04:34
Well, he’s a fucking football player too. Look at
Speaker: 1
01:04:36
Yeah. Bro. Bro. He clocked that dude. Look at his face. Look at that freeze frame. That guy should be ashamed of that look for the rest of his life. How dare you? How dare that face?
Speaker: 0
01:04:47
Right there is scary. Yeah. If I
Speaker: 1
01:04:49
was friends with that dude, I’d be like, no. You’re
Speaker: 0
01:04:51
not gonna do that. He’s gonna hit he’s gonna kill you. Bro, the
Speaker: 1
01:04:54
look at that torque you got in there.
Speaker: 0
01:04:55
Oh, yeah. Well, let’s say you a football player. Bro, that was ai And I’m backstage going. Am I going on, though? Like, no. We’re gonna we’re gonna be we’re gonna cut you.
Speaker: 1
01:05:03
Actually, I just tell wanna say that guy’s got a great chin.
Speaker: 3
01:05:05
Meh. Fun. He’s smiling.
Speaker: 1
01:05:06
Yeah. He better smile. Like, he just got bitch slapped. He’s not a good chin. He took a great ai. I wanna say it like that.
Speaker: 0
01:05:11
We’ll be right back with no. Tomorrow, no. We’ll have Karen down here. Fucking shit. We’ll be right back right after this message. We’ll be right back.
Speaker: 1
01:05:21
That was Sai and Pepper Jay. Yeah. Another guy took way too much shit. Jay. They gave him so so much of a hard time. It’s just like when Larry Holmes became the heavyweight champion of the world after Muhammad Ali. Yeah. Everybody hated Larry Holmes. When Jay Leno took over after Johnny Carson Yeah.
Speaker: 0
01:05:37
There’s a bunch of people. He got he got a lot of grief for that reason. No reason. Because he was put on great shows too.
Speaker: 1
01:05:43
Super nice guy.
Speaker: 0
01:05:44
The writing was great. The movies were great. No.
Speaker: 1
01:05:46
I always had a good time talking to him. Always a nice guy. Yeah. He’s a nice guy and, like, what he should have been doing all along is really what he’s doing now. Is his car shows.
Speaker: 0
01:05:56
Right.
Speaker: 1
01:05:56
Because like that guy, if you talk to him about cars Oh, yeah. No. He’s so entertaining. He loves cars. I know. He loves them. I mean, he knows more about cars probably than anybody I’ve ever met in my life. He’s got an insane collection, and he likes everything. He likes Ai just Dodge and everything.
Speaker: 0
01:06:12
And he’s got a fire truck? Yep.
Speaker: 1
01:06:14
Yep. Yep. He’s just Jet ai. A genuine fan of automobiles, and the way he talks about it is so entertaining.
Speaker: 0
01:06:20
Yep. No.
Speaker: 1
01:06:21
Because that’s really what he wants to do.
Speaker: 0
01:06:22
And he’s also crazy. Right? Because he’s he’s he’s, unstoppable. So he he he fell off that cliff or whatever the fuck it was. Right? You heard about this. Yeah.
Speaker: 1
01:06:33
What happened to him?
Speaker: 0
01:06:34
I just talked to him in in Vegas, so he went and went and saw him. And I said, how are you doing? He goes, you know? I said, you could still sai, like, a, you know, a little bit of bruising because it it was it was about two weeks after he’d he’d had the fall.
Speaker: 1
01:06:46
Oh, Jesus. He was out and about two weeks later. What do
Speaker: 0
01:06:48
you mean? He did the show that night. What? Yes. He fell Did
Speaker: 1
01:06:51
he get a concussion?
Speaker: 0
01:06:53
He said he how he says he says he said in there was a, you know, Golden Corral next to the, you know, La Quinta. I’m like, I said first thing I said to him, I said, are you okay? I said, my question, what the fuck are you staying in La Quinta? And he goes, you know, we all can’t sai the fourth even then. I said, no. But, really, what what what happened?
Speaker: 0
01:07:10
He sai, he just went out to
Speaker: 1
01:07:11
La Quinta. His money.
Speaker: 0
01:07:13
He walked out of the La Quinta, and he it was a little hill, like, not even like a hill.
Speaker: 1
01:07:17
He went hiking.
Speaker: 0
01:07:18
He went hiking.
Speaker: 1
01:07:19
With, like, slippery shoes on, probably.
Speaker: 0
01:07:21
He said, the Golden Crown. He’s probably wearing dress shoes. I’m gonna go come around. Right. And his denim and then sai he went he just, it looked. It was a little deeper than he thought, and he slipped, fell Oh. And hit his eye, you know, right in that thing where it’s bad.
Speaker: 0
01:07:34
So he went into got his Golden Corral. You know, they’re, oh, you’re Jay Leno. Yeah. Yeah. You know, it’s thinking a thing.
Speaker: 0
01:07:39
Went got his food, went to the club, and went on stage bleeding.
Speaker: 1
01:07:44
That’s so crazy.
Speaker: 0
01:07:45
And I said, what do you mean? I said, what do you he said, what do you mean?
Speaker: 1
01:07:47
The show must go on. He said,
Speaker: 0
01:07:48
you know, I think he he says I just I just you know, the mic with his hand to have meh married ai. I have that married guy in the crowd. And I’m like, I it’s just amazing to me. He tyler trip my nail, I’d cancel.
Speaker: 1
01:07:59
He told this insane show, insane story rather of a show that he have had to do with a priest and a mob ai, where the mob guy was yelling at the priest and swearing, and Jay’s, like, yelling and swearing, like, doing the same you know, like, saying what the mob guy said. I was, like, seeing Jay Leno talk like that was, like, what? Right.
Speaker: 0
01:08:20
You’re doing ai right right back here.
Speaker: 1
01:08:23
He was talking like that. Yeah.
Speaker: 0
01:08:24
You can’t see him say dang. Yeah. Dang, you know, dang. Hey. Dang it.
Speaker: 1
01:08:27
What are you gonna do?
Speaker: 0
01:08:28
That’s crazy.
Speaker: 1
01:08:29
Oh, yeah. He was doing this, like, super hyper violent Italian mob guy, like, screaming obscenities at this priest, and Jay Leno’s yelling it out. It’s a fucking amazing story.
Speaker: 0
01:08:38
And was vatsal show?
Speaker: 1
01:08:39
Yeah. It was a show that he was doing, like, you know, before he made it. It was ai back in the day. He did some sort of a show where, you know, I think it was like a benefit or something like that where there was a priest involved, and then the mob guy got mad at the priest and was yelling at him.
Speaker: 1
01:08:53
It’s sai fucking hilarious story. But that guy doesn’t spend any of
Speaker: 0
01:08:57
Oh, yeah. No.
Speaker: 1
01:08:58
His ai show money. Yeah. He lives all entirely off his stand up money stand up. Yep. Which is crazy. Right. So he’s just stockpiling it all at the La Quinta Inn. La Quinta.
Speaker: 0
01:09:08
That’s right.
Speaker: 1
01:09:09
Jesus. Like, someone needs to tell them. Like, money’s fun coupons. You should be just
Speaker: 0
01:09:15
squirreling it away. Have fun with them. Have fun with them.
Speaker: 1
01:09:17
But people that arya out poor, which is, like, basically most comics. Once you start making money, it’s hard to believe that you’re ever gonna keep making money. You start panicking.
Speaker: 0
01:09:25
You know, they’re going, oh my god. I gotta save this. Yeah. I gotta save it.
Speaker: 1
01:09:29
Yep. And then if you carry that into your seventies and eighties, somebody should sit you down and have
Speaker: 0
01:09:33
a talk with you like Yeah.
Speaker: 1
01:09:34
I’m your financial ai and now’s the time to go crazy.
Speaker: 0
01:09:36
Yeah. You’re you’re you’re good now.
Speaker: 1
01:09:38
You should be looking into cocaine.
Speaker: 0
01:09:40
You should be
Speaker: 1
01:09:41
you should probably buy
Speaker: 0
01:09:42
more cars.
Speaker: 1
01:09:43
Mhmm. Like, let’s spend
Speaker: 0
01:09:44
some money. Your as your final I think you should start spending shit.
Speaker: 1
01:09:47
As your Let’s find a
Speaker: 0
01:09:48
drug habit. Ai get you in a driver habit. Let’s get you in a nice car.
Speaker: 1
01:09:51
Yeah. Let’s do something. Mhmm. You need to start buying stuff. You should, you should have way more cars.
Speaker: 0
01:09:58
That’s great. You’re right. It’s certainly What are you saving up for, bro?
Speaker: 1
01:10:01
This is the end times.
Speaker: 0
01:10:03
Yeah. This is it. Yeah. Because I don’t yeah. I don’t have family. You know that. It’s ai and a lot of people have a lot of kids and a lot of that you save up for them. But
Speaker: 1
01:10:12
Because even them, like, giving kids a ton of money
Speaker: 0
01:10:16
Yeah.
Speaker: 1
01:10:16
Giving kids a ton of money is not necessarily good for them. No. Like, if you look historically at people that got trust funds, it’s it’s a weird road to go down and not have any ambition or not have to have any ambition. Maybe you do have it, like, inherently. But for a lot of them, it’s ai they don’t have to make it.
Speaker: 1
01:10:36
They don’t have and I think that’s unfortunately, in this society that we live in, that doesn’t seem to work. Ai, in this society, it’s very difficult to not be self sustainable, not be able to take care of yourself. And if you can’t take care of yourself, you gotta kinda learn how to do it.
Speaker: 1
01:10:54
You can’t just be constantly relying on other people because I think it hinders your growth as a person.
Speaker: 0
01:10:59
Absolutely. You
Speaker: 1
01:11:00
know what I mean? I think it, like, fucks with you. Like, every guy that I’ve ever met that comes from a family that, like, gives them not every guy, but a lot of guys that I’ve met that come I’ve met some cool ones. They come from a family with a lot of money, and they’ve never had to worry, and they have trust funds, and they never really have had a job.
Speaker: 1
01:11:16
They’re all weird.
Speaker: 0
01:11:18
Yep. They’re all weird.
Speaker: 1
01:11:19
It’s ai cement that didn’t get the amount of water that it needs
Speaker: 0
01:11:23
ai you’re mixing it in.
Speaker: 1
01:11:24
It’s always, like, weird.
Speaker: 0
01:11:26
Yeah. It seems like weird now I know too. Every comic or artist, whatever, everyone they’re all their stories are the same that they came from nothing, and that’s in in if you think about it, almost every comic and artist I know, they they weren’t they didn’t have money. They’re not Yeah.
Speaker: 1
01:11:40
But it’s not mutually exclusive.
Speaker: 0
01:11:43
No. No. Right.
Speaker: 1
01:11:44
Right. It’s not there are people that have come from great Oh. Families and great backgrounds that just happen to be funny. Right. It’s a weird thing, man. Like, talent is a odd thing. Really is. Very weird thing. Like, if there’s certain universal truths, ai, you’re gonna find more talent Yeah.
Speaker: 1
01:12:01
Probably in in harder communities, like, you gotta have better rock and roll in, like, the the dingy fucking outskirts of town. Like, those guys are gonna be Nirvana. Right?
Speaker: 0
01:12:12
But I love hearing, like, a Billy Joel story where where you can relate to it. Like, you know, I started cutting lawns at eight years old. I’m like, I said I started cutting lawns at eight years old. You know? Ai literally and, you know, nowadays, no kid kids don’t do any Right.
Speaker: 0
01:12:27
And I’m like, yeah. I did that. I I I Billy Joel office buildings, and I did everything, you know. Yeah. He was a boxer. He was a boxer?
Speaker: 1
01:12:36
Yeah. Billy Joel was a boxer.
Speaker: 0
01:12:37
Yeah. I did not know that sai.
Speaker: 1
01:12:39
I don’t know how many fights that he had. I think he lost.
Speaker: 0
01:12:42
Why are you being funny? Really? Billy Joel
Speaker: 1
01:12:43
was a boxer. Billy Joel was a boxer. Yeah.
Speaker: 0
01:12:45
I did not know that. Yeah.
Speaker: 1
01:12:46
I think he was good. I think he was pretty good. I mean, I think it was a good amateur level. Twenty
Speaker: 0
01:12:50
two and two.
Speaker: 1
01:12:51
Twenty two and two. Gosh.
Speaker: 0
01:12:52
How do I didn’t know that?
Speaker: 1
01:12:53
Was that professional? Golden Gloves. Golden Gloves. Sai amateur level. So Ai,
Speaker: 0
01:12:57
I didn’t know that.
Speaker: 1
01:12:58
Yeah. Oh. Legit boxer.
Speaker: 0
01:13:00
I just know that you were ah, did not know that. No.
Speaker: 1
01:13:03
He’s a guy whose music changed radically. Like, if you go back and listen to Captain Jack Yep. It like, from Captain Jack to Uptown Girls, like, oh. Oh. You know? Right. It’s like you like, it’s great music. It was a huge hit, but it’s a different vibe. Sure.
Speaker: 1
01:13:18
It’s like a guy who’s in love now, and he’s got a supermodel for a ai. He’s worth a billion dollars.
Speaker: 0
01:13:22
Yeah. It’s like Yeah. Captain Jack was his gritty long island story. Yeah.
Speaker: 1
01:13:27
I was like, fuck. That’s a good song.
Speaker: 0
01:13:29
That’s a great great song. But you’re you’re right. You can see it there, you know, how their their life changes and their music changes. So like you said, now he’s got a, you know, uptown girl. Got money. I got an,
Speaker: 1
01:13:40
you know. You ever heard the song Billy the Kid?
Speaker: 0
01:13:45
Yeah.
Speaker: 1
01:13:45
He’s got he’s got some great fucking songs.
Speaker: 0
01:13:48
Well, the one that that we had is speak, I just saw was, was it
Speaker: 1
01:13:51
Wasn’t it Billy the Kid? Is that the name of that song? It’s it’s a great
Speaker: 0
01:13:57
And the got me on the special was the entertainer. I thought that was interesting because it was ripping on
Speaker: 1
01:14:03
Mhmm. Yeah.
Speaker: 0
01:14:04
It was ripping on show business.
Speaker: 1
01:14:05
Yeah. The Ballet of the Billy Kid. That is a great fucking song. My parents had that album on vinyl when I was a kid. I listened to what year was that?
Speaker: 3
01:14:15
’73.
Speaker: 1
01:14:16
’73, son. I listened to that, and I was ai, like, this is again, this is an archaeological dig, you know? You’re, like, going to, like, the the beginnings of certain genres of music and certain kinds of music. And back then, that’s how you got it. You heard it on the radio, and you went out and
Speaker: 0
01:14:33
bought an album. Exactly. And looked at it and and looked at the art world. Over the thing. Read the paper and then ram. Weird. But the entertainment one was interesting because he they the the record label had asked him to come up with a a hit. Uh-huh. And, you know, the
Speaker: 1
01:14:50
Oh, that’s why he wrote it that way?
Speaker: 0
01:14:53
No. I don’t know. They just it was just on a I just watched I meh exactly how it went down, but he said, yeah. You know, they were they were saying they’re gonna they’re they need to hit off this album and to make this big hit. So he he wrote that, and when they he played it to them, they’re like, fuck you. We’re getting rid of you.
Speaker: 0
01:15:10
So they they got rid of him and the the label dropped him because he’s it’s all about that. Sai they get the money, then they take all your money and and Yeah. Where they don’t care about you and and I’m like, that’s ballsy. Right? They sana hit and you basically sai how meh, you know, Ai. It says twenty years. Could you do something special for me?
Speaker: 0
01:15:28
And I have this big roast and how horrible the Luxor is and how much they you know? It just shit. They’re like, what? That is It was a real album, like, real song, and they were like, no. You’re done.
Speaker: 1
01:15:38
They should’ve just took it on the chin. Look. The guy became huge after that studio. Sai. You fucking dumbasses. You you got rid of them.
Speaker: 0
01:15:45
Now they say that.
Speaker: 1
01:15:46
You got rid of meh.
Speaker: 0
01:15:47
Sold
Speaker: 1
01:15:47
a billion albums.
Speaker: 0
01:15:48
Now they’re damn. Yeah.
Speaker: 1
01:15:49
Yeah. He’s got some great fuck just the piano meh. The piano man. Alone. Right.
Speaker: 0
01:15:53
That one song saloni is right.
Speaker: 1
01:15:55
Oh, how about Scenes ram an Italian Restaurant?
Speaker: 0
01:15:58
Alright.
Speaker: 1
01:15:58
Oh meh god. Right. That is a fantastic song. And it’s another it’s a story. It’s a story of people’s lives, you know, and it’s it’s relatable. It’s, like, it’s real. It’s raw. It’s you know, again, it’s like a window into It’s a bottle
Speaker: 0
01:16:12
of red. Right? Bottle of no. And I ai just to make a joke about that in my shah. Still got a bottle of meh, and it says bottles of white. Sai, apparently, he didn’t like red as much as whites. He has plural in the he said bottle of red, bottles of white. Does he say sai? And I’m like, oh, he he must have had he liked more white wine, and that’s how I speak up shah.
Speaker: 1
01:16:31
Like Are you sure that’s the lyrics, or did you just say
Speaker: 0
01:16:33
No. I think I think it’s the no. No. I think it’s his bottle of meh. Bottles of white. You can now ai gotta look it up.
Speaker: 1
01:16:40
I thought you said a bottle of ai. Whatever kind of mood you’re in today.
Speaker: 0
01:16:44
Oh, fuck. I don’t know. I think
Speaker: 1
01:16:45
I hate you anytime you want.
Speaker: 0
01:16:46
Yeah. I know that.
Speaker: 1
01:16:47
I’ve got that wrong.
Speaker: 0
01:16:48
Maybe I I could be wrong. Fuck you. No.
Speaker: 1
01:16:50
That is a great fucking song. That’s a great song. Bottle
Speaker: 0
01:16:53
of red.
Speaker: 1
01:16:53
It’s just bottle of whites. You’re right. A bottle of whites. Interesting.
Speaker: 0
01:17:00
See? I knew it’s something But it’s still a bottle. It’s a bottles of white. Right. Sai That’s a weird way to ai. A a bottle of ai.
Speaker: 3
01:17:06
It could be a it’s it’s ai, so it could be multiple kinds of white wine in one bottle.
Speaker: 0
01:17:10
Jamie getting tactical about us. Ai mean, what I’m trying to sai.
Speaker: 1
01:17:14
Ai blend, well, that would be a bottle of white.
Speaker: 0
01:17:16
Sai I was under something there. Right? And I because I used to sing and go, why is he saying that?
Speaker: 1
01:17:20
Ain’t that funny that some people don’t like their grapes mixed? Don’t you dare serve me a blend. Some people don’t sana blend. Is that a blend of a Cabernet and a Merlot? You fucking ai. That’s crazy. That’s served me a goddamn blend. I don’t wanna
Speaker: 0
01:17:35
sana a chardonnay. How weird are ai? I’m gonna give you a little bit of this bird and a little bit of that bird. Okay? Ai off. So weird. To blend.
Speaker: 1
01:17:43
People that, like, get super down with wine. Ai got a I got a buddy who’s a wine a lit like a legit wine connoisseur.
Speaker: 0
01:17:50
Oh, is shah
Speaker: 1
01:17:50
Meh buddy, Matt. So I I ai call him up out of nowhere, like, I’d be at a restaurant, and I’d send him a picture of the wine list. Tell me what to get. He he he, like, looked at it for, like, three seconds. He, like, this is great. What are you guys eating? Cake?
Speaker: 0
01:18:02
Cake bread.
Speaker: 1
01:18:03
Get this. Yeah.
Speaker: 0
01:18:03
And he would tell you how to do it.
Speaker: 1
01:18:04
But, he got scammed. Well, he didn’t get scammed. But there was a guy that he was friends with that was a gigantic scammer. And, I don’t think this guy ever got him. But what this guy was doing was they were all these wine connoisseurs and this guy was selling really rare wine that was counterfeit. It was fake.
Speaker: 1
01:18:25
So he had infiltrated this thing, this ai wine group, and he was a con man. And what he was doing was taking a bunch of different wines and mixing them, and then trying to sell it as this, like, 1970 impossible bottle from Bordeaux.
Speaker: 0
01:18:42
Right.
Speaker: 1
01:18:42
Like and so he would age the paper on the bottles and shah. Ai and they raided his house. They found empty bottles everywhere, and
Speaker: 0
01:18:49
he
Speaker: 1
01:18:50
he was taking labels off of things and copy them and printing them. And
Speaker: 0
01:18:54
I have that with, lube. The Ai do.
Speaker: 1
01:18:58
You gotta get the real stuff. It’s hard.
Speaker: 0
01:18:59
You gotta get it from portrait. My house. Jesus Christ.
Speaker: 1
01:19:02
But this, this meh really highlighted in my eyes, at least for some of those people, that it’s kinda bullshit. Like, all this you you think you know the difference between
Speaker: 0
01:19:12
Right. Sure. Really good old wine. Yep.
Speaker: 1
01:19:14
But this guy just tricked you.
Speaker: 0
01:19:15
Yeah.
Speaker: 1
01:19:16
And he tricked a lot of them. Couple ai he didn’t trick. There was one guy in particular. This guy the guy who
Speaker: 0
01:19:20
is like I’m just gonna sai
Speaker: 1
01:19:22
Yeah. One guy was ai, this is trash. But the other guy was just raving about it. Also, in his opinion, he questioned. Like, what? I just thought this was ai. I thought it was crazy. Ai, no. That’s just terrible.
Speaker: 0
01:19:32
Oh, he’s Terrible. He’s he’s scumptious.
Speaker: 1
01:19:34
Like, it was weird.
Speaker: 0
01:19:35
That’s crazy. But shah was the wine movie that I that that sai, what was the with the wine?
Speaker: 1
01:19:39
Well, this was a wine meh. No. No.
Speaker: 0
01:19:41
I’m trying to think of the guy you said no more fucking Merlot. What was that?
Speaker: 1
01:19:44
Oh, yes. That
Speaker: 0
01:19:45
one. What was that? Sideways.
Speaker: 1
01:19:47
That’s right. That’s
Speaker: 0
01:19:48
right. That ai came to my shah. Fucking Merlot. That guy came to my show. He’s a brilliantly ai, sweet guy.
Speaker: 1
01:19:55
Oh, that’s
Speaker: 0
01:19:55
awesome. Ai guy. Just like in the movie. He’s just so ai. And he came with, Kieran Culkin, my Macaulay Culkin’s Oh. Brother. He’s great in situations. Great. They they were filming a Audi commercial or something.
Speaker: 1
01:20:10
What’s that guy’s name again?
Speaker: 0
01:20:12
Jimati? Yeah. Paul Jimati.
Speaker: 1
01:20:14
Paul Jimati.
Speaker: 0
01:20:14
He’s so nice. He came back.
Speaker: 1
01:20:16
He’s amazing and everything.
Speaker: 0
01:20:17
I said, could would you could you would you ai. I because they sana drink, and we wanna drink. And they’re like, yeah. I’ll take whatever you got. So we have a whole bar. I said, do you wanna Ai said, do you wanna go to Merlot? I’m gonna have a Merlot. And just his face, he was so funny. He’s ai, Ai, like, I just said it, but I didn’t say it like I was trying to be funny.
Speaker: 0
01:20:34
I said, we have this week of we have way below. And he’s like, I said, ai, I’m just fuck he said no. And then we so we did a video together. I said, trying to see if I find somebody I could find a share ram low with. It kept hands over to him. He’s like, not in fucking hell. It was just it was such a great he’s such a great guy.
Speaker: 0
01:20:51
They sai He was great in that Howard Stern movie. He was. Wasn’t he? The ai and parts? Sai mean, NBC. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He was really good in that.
Speaker: 0
01:21:02
I’m saying it. WNBC. No. WNBC. Yeah. Yeah. He’s a good good guy on top of that. Ai guy.
Speaker: 1
01:21:08
Merlot. But Lo got a bad name after that movie. If I was in the Merlot business, I would have been furious.
Speaker: 0
01:21:14
Yeah. No doubt.
Speaker: 1
01:21:15
These motherfuckers Yeah. They’re downplaying Merlot.
Speaker: 0
01:21:18
You know?
Speaker: 1
01:21:18
Ours like Merlot, and then all of a sudden, they had
Speaker: 0
01:21:20
a shady opinion of it. Yeah. Well, they did that with me on South Park. You know? Ai said that I was junk. I’m like, fuck. You know, that it was Did they? In a roundabout way. You know? South Park. They were do they’ve everyone’s parodied meh. It has always been something stupid.
Speaker: 0
01:21:33
Like, it’s just amazing. Casino, and it says, like, carrot scalp, you know, tonight playing at the show.
Speaker: 1
01:21:39
Who sai that?
Speaker: 0
01:21:40
It’s ai Oh. It was in, like, Simpsons or Oh. Family Ai.
Speaker: 1
01:21:43
Just for jokes.
Speaker: 0
01:21:44
Just for jokes.
Speaker: 1
01:21:46
South Park has been around longer than anything ai that’s still good.
Speaker: 0
01:21:50
Yeah.
Speaker: 1
01:21:50
Like, how do they do it?
Speaker: 0
01:21:51
I don’t know. Brilliant.
Speaker: 1
01:21:54
Ai it’s just weird that they’re still so on top of it. It’s it’s they’re so driven to, like, still push the boundaries and make it really funny. Yeah. And it’s been going on since
Speaker: 0
01:22:05
Ai saying like that. How many years?
Speaker: 1
01:22:07
Like, the first video, I think, was ’95 or ’96 or something like that. The one that they were passing around, the VHS one with Brian Boitano.
Speaker: 0
01:22:14
Yeah. What year was that?
Speaker: 3
01:22:16
The we were
Speaker: 1
01:22:17
the It I think it was ’95 or ’95 or ’96. Because I remember people on news radio were passing it around. And we were ai, what the fuck is this? This is crazy. ’95. ’95. Yeah. Everyone was passing around. We’re like, this is insanity. This is so insane.
Speaker: 0
01:22:36
So good. And it
Speaker: 1
01:22:37
I don’t think it had a home yet. I don’t think it was on Comedy Central yet.
Speaker: 3
01:22:40
First one they made was in ’92.
Speaker: 1
01:22:42
Woah. Which one was that? ‘5. Which one was that?
Speaker: 3
01:22:46
Ai to see which it says
Speaker: 1
01:22:47
Which is the Brian Boitano? Which would Brian Boitano do?
Speaker: 0
01:22:50
Oh, that was an episode.
Speaker: 1
01:22:51
That’s what meh everybody would say. We’d be walking around the news radio set going, what would Brian Boitano do? And it’s fucking Jesus is there, and it’s just it’s so ridiculous.
Speaker: 3
01:23:04
That was actually in their first movie in ’99, which that came quick.
Speaker: 1
01:23:09
The Brian Boitano thing was?
Speaker: 3
01:23:11
That was in the movie. South Park Bigger Longer Uncut.
Speaker: 1
01:23:13
Really? Mhmm. So what was the ninety five one or the ninety four one?
Speaker: 3
01:23:19
So they made fun of Brian Boitano in The Spirit of Christmas.
Speaker: 1
01:23:24
So that came out in ai. So, like, Ai wasn’t that was, like, the last year of news radio. I don’t even know if I have a false memory now. What,
Speaker: 3
01:23:36
That was the one that was Jesus for Santa ai?
Speaker: 1
01:23:39
That’s the ninth that’s the first one.
Speaker: 0
01:23:41
Yeah.
Speaker: 1
01:23:42
There’s no Brian Boitano in that one?
Speaker: 3
01:23:44
He says what would Brian Boitano do in that, but that’s not the the song isn’t until later.
Speaker: 1
01:23:49
Oh, right. But that’s what when he says it.
Speaker: 0
01:23:52
Okay. Ai itself is just hilarious still. I thought
Speaker: 1
01:23:54
it had a fake memory.
Speaker: 3
01:23:55
Sai yeah. Stan Marsh says to Cartman, what would Brian Ai do as Jesus battles Sana?
Speaker: 1
01:24:00
That’s right. Okay. You had you thought you had me thinking I was crazy.
Speaker: 3
01:24:03
Oh, I’m the song was way bigger then. Right.
Speaker: 1
01:24:06
But the show went where he says it. It was on the show. So that was the I sai like, am I losing my fucking mind? Like, no. I know it was on the first one. But it was just so, groundbreaking. And with and the brilliance of it was that you don’t have to have it look realistic. So you can get away with so much more.
Speaker: 1
01:24:23
Like, when when he stuffs, what’s her face up his ass? Who did he,
Speaker: 3
01:24:28
Paris Hilton.
Speaker: 1
01:24:28
Paris Hilton. Alright. When he had a slut off and stuffs Paris Hilton up his ass, it’s ai, you can do that Right.
Speaker: 0
01:24:34
If it doesn’t look real. Right.
Speaker: 1
01:24:36
Like, if it’s like super realistic and three d, you can’t do that. It has to look like South Park.
Speaker: 0
01:24:41
Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker: 1
01:24:41
For they can get away with so much. They can kill kids. They kill Kenny every week. Nobody complains. Yep. Four fucker ai every week. No. It’s like imagine if this is ai a graphic three d video, you know, that that looks ai realistic. Crazy. You can’t do it. It has to look like complete nonsense, and then we’ll let you get away with almost anything.
Speaker: 0
01:25:04
Ai. That’s probably how they how they sold it that way.
Speaker: 1
01:25:06
Well, if you think about it And
Speaker: 0
01:25:07
they bought it that way.
Speaker: 1
01:25:08
It there’s ai levels of realism that will will allow you to get away with more if it’s, like, less realistic. Right?
Speaker: 0
01:25:17
Right.
Speaker: 1
01:25:18
Like, that’s why we used to allow, like, Roadrunner. Right. And, you know, Wile E. Coyote and Roadrunner would, like, drop dynamite on him. Right. Yeah. Shah was always happening. Yep. He was always getting fucked up. That was okay because it was cartoons.
Speaker: 0
01:25:33
Right.
Speaker: 1
01:25:33
Right? But you couldn’t have blood, ai, blood all over the place. But if you make them look so goofy that their their head’s just a big circle Right.
Speaker: 0
01:25:41
And they
Speaker: 1
01:25:42
have, like, a little sticker Right.
Speaker: 0
01:25:43
Then
Speaker: 1
01:25:43
you get a blood all over the place and nobody complains.
Speaker: 0
01:25:45
Exactly.
Speaker: 1
01:25:46
Weird. Right? It’s kinda weird. Yeah. It’s ai the less realistic, but we know what it is. They killed a kid. We’re ai, bro, you killed Kenny, you bastards. And no one has a problem with it. Yeah. Which is because it’s unrealistic. It’s kinda weird. Right?
Speaker: 0
01:26:00
I think it’s exactly how you put it. It’s kinda unrealistic. It’s a
Speaker: 1
01:26:04
perfect cheat code. It it makes everything more funny because you never feel guilty laughing. And no matter what. When Cartman was in bed with Saddam Hussein or when
Speaker: 0
01:26:12
Satan Brother was in bed,
Speaker: 1
01:26:14
not Cartman. There’s just so many scenes where you’re ai, there’s no way to do this unless you have cartoons. It’s brilliant. Because you you wouldn’t have never be able to get away with it. No. Like the one when they skirted around drawing Mohammed. They ai skirted around.
Speaker: 1
01:26:28
They never drew him. Right. They’re ai drew the there was there’s just ai, oh, there’s a truck and he’s inside the truck in a bear suit. Yeah. You can do things in cartoons that you just can’t do in any other realm. It’s it’s a perfect medium for comedy. And you can keep the kids young forever.
Speaker: 0
01:26:44
Right. You
Speaker: 1
01:26:45
know, they’re always gonna be in high school. Like, nobody questions effectively in high school for forty years.
Speaker: 0
01:26:49
Right. No. It’s just Damn. It’s
Speaker: 1
01:26:50
just they’re in
Speaker: 0
01:26:51
high school. That’s how it goes. That’s true.
Speaker: 1
01:26:54
They don’t have to grow up. Shut the fuck up. Why are they gonna why they have to grow up?
Speaker: 0
01:26:59
Sai if they meh now what if they did make a cartoon where they aged? Ugh. I mean, they’re funny. They’re like, goddamn it. No. But you sana see them. They always look good.
Speaker: 1
01:27:06
It’ll be sad. Yeah. I might be a fucking loser at
Speaker: 0
01:27:08
a trailer park. Yeah.
Speaker: 1
01:27:09
It’s fun when he’s the way he is ai, and he’s like a little kid. It’s
Speaker: 0
01:27:14
fun. It’s fun. It’s still
Speaker: 1
01:27:15
I like, you know, throwing hissy fits. It’s fun. Yeah. Because he’s still a little kid. You know? You you don’t wanna there’s certain people you don’t wanna see him when they get full grown or when they’re over the other side of
Speaker: 0
01:27:25
it. Right.
Speaker: 1
01:27:26
When things the wheels start falling off.
Speaker: 0
01:27:28
Yeah.
Speaker: 1
01:27:28
You know?
Speaker: 0
01:27:30
That’s what I meh, though. For their special their end episode, they should do it. Yes. When it’s all done, this is the final. They’re all aged and they it doesn’t have the voice quite still.
Speaker: 1
01:27:40
What they should do is do a three d, like like, hyper realistic version of the show. Like, just do it all through AI Yeah. For the last episode and just have it the most violent, most ridiculous. Easy. Easy. And see how people deal with it. Like, bro, this is exactly what we’ve been showing you for forty years.
Speaker: 0
01:27:59
That will be, it.
Speaker: 1
01:28:01
They wouldn’t be allowed to.
Speaker: 0
01:28:02
Coffee? Yeah. Have some. Alright. Like coffee. Oh, thanks. Yeah. Thank you. Ai.
Speaker: 1
01:28:10
Cheers, sir.
Speaker: 0
01:28:11
Alright. Cheers to you. Ai. Bam. Thank you for having me.
Speaker: 1
01:28:14
My pleasure. I’m looking forward to seeing young Chiltonian too. That’s gonna be really fun.
Speaker: 0
01:28:19
Yeah. That’s fun. I you know, last time I done Ai my last time I did it once.
Speaker: 1
01:28:23
Did you do it at the club, or did you do it
Speaker: 0
01:28:24
at a
Speaker: 1
01:28:24
big place?
Speaker: 0
01:28:25
At the club.
Speaker: 1
01:28:25
At the club? Nice. Yeah.
Speaker: 0
01:28:27
It was fun and was loud and intimate and and the it was just you know, I told him before I did, I sai, I’m not into critiquing, people because I’ve been shit on my whole career. I don’t wanna I don’t wanna tell these comments what they’re doing right or wrong. Coming from me, really, he said, no. No. No. That’s not how it works.
Speaker: 0
01:28:45
You just play you just be you. Just be yourself. And it was great because I could just you know, if there was something specific that I thought was sana wrong or off, I could say it in a, you know, very nice way. But most of them were they’re good. These guys come out, they got their minutes, they pop them out. Yeah. Of course, you’d see a couple. Ai?
Speaker: 0
01:29:03
You know, the first ten seconds in, you’re like, okay. It’s already not funny, you know, whether or they’re just so nervous. They’re just you could see the mic shaking, you know. Mhmm. That does someone have really quality written jokes?
Speaker: 1
01:29:17
Oh, yeah. There’s a lot of funny Really, really funny. Ai also because of Kill Tony, people ai that if they can put together a minute, it can change their whole fucking life.
Speaker: 0
01:29:27
Yeah.
Speaker: 1
01:29:28
Your whole fucking life. Look at Ram Patterson just got on Saturday
Speaker: 0
01:29:31
Night Live. Yeah.
Speaker: 1
01:29:33
I mean, look at these guys. They’re killing
Speaker: 0
01:29:34
it. Unbelievable.
Speaker: 1
01:29:35
William Montgomery is killing it. You know?
Speaker: 0
01:29:38
There was a couple there out that night that they were really good.
Speaker: 1
01:29:41
Yeah.
Speaker: 0
01:29:42
And I think Tony tapped me under the chair at one point. He was the next ai. You know? He came out, and I was like, holy shit. He was solid.
Speaker: 1
01:29:49
Yeah. Arya Martin is telling you know, Ari Posos. There’s a lot of these guys that do that show. They do one minute, and then they go, we’d love to have you back. And then they come back. They do another minute. The crowd remembers them from the old show. Also, they have, like, 25,000 Instagram followers, then it’s a 100, then it’s a 150. Like, these things start rolling.
Speaker: 1
01:30:06
It’s ai, oh, you have a real pathway. Yeah. If you work hard, if you really fucking focus and really just really dial it in, really work on your material, really working do as many sets around town as you can. You might be able to do this for a living. And if you can, it’s the greatest fucking job in the world.
Speaker: 1
01:30:25
So
Speaker: 0
01:30:26
There’s already a couple that I’ve been watching there. They’re
Speaker: 1
01:30:28
There’s more now than ever before. It used to be, it was ai, there was a bunch of, like, bad people, and every now and then someone would come on with promise. Now it seems to me to be more slanted towards people that are good. Yeah. It’s like a high level or or high percentage rather of people that
Speaker: 0
01:30:42
are good. I ai I was there. They were really good.
Speaker: 1
01:30:44
Yeah. A lot of them are really good. And it’s again, there’s a pathway. And There
Speaker: 0
01:30:49
was one that came out and I said, and and he it was it was kinda funny how he he the microphone was up high because the guy before him was, like, six five or some. This guy comes out. He’s, like, four feet. So it’s already funny because they bring him out, and he he goes to grab the mic and he just he takes it and puts it behind him and takes the mic and goes into his bed.
Speaker: 0
01:31:11
And I’m like so it got done. He said, he’s how I said, that was great. I said, the only thing I would have done in the beginning, you already had a laugh. The microphone was, you know, so reference it. At least reference it.
Speaker: 0
01:31:27
Don’t you know what to do a thing. He said he goes, meh. Well, that that’d be a prop. And I said, no. It’s already a fucking prop.
Speaker: 0
01:31:34
It’s not you didn’t bring it. He didn’t make it. It’s there. It’s a prop that’s usable. I mean, every comic uses it for the, you know, everything ram a guitar
Speaker: 1
01:31:41
to Right. Sure.
Speaker: 0
01:31:43
Change on the beach, every comic is down there. Yeah. Everybody. So I said, no. No. No. You don’t have to make a prop joke. I said, just reference it. You should at least referenced it. Like like, this is already not going well. You know, something. And because the crowd was waiting for something, and he didn’t do it.
Speaker: 0
01:31:59
And then after the show, he said, I’m gonna use that. That’s good. I said, well, you have to follow a tall guy every time for it to work.
Speaker: 1
01:32:05
Yeah. Don’t say that he set the microphone really high for my
Speaker: 0
01:32:09
first show. That’s what I said. Yeah. And it only worked because it was improv it it happened. Right. And then he goes and I told him that. I said, you don’t don’t do it unless it happens. You don’t sana just have it set that way. Right? And it’s dumb.
Speaker: 1
01:32:19
Well, I think for some people, they don’t know how to start, you know, and they’re doing something like that. And it’s still
Speaker: 0
01:32:24
Well, the starting is hard for every I mean, sai
Speaker: 1
01:32:26
just that. It’s ai this overwhelming ai. You have one minute, and you can’t believe you’re on a stage
Speaker: 0
01:32:32
in front
Speaker: 1
01:32:32
of this ai, a lot of them is their first show. Some of them first show Madison Square Garden.
Speaker: 0
01:32:36
Oh, Jesus.
Speaker: 1
01:32:37
Yeah. Imagine first
Speaker: 0
01:32:40
time on stage. No. No. Madison Square Garden
Speaker: 1
01:32:42
and your bomb.
Speaker: 0
01:32:43
Oh, man. I didn’t know that So they do it they do that same format with the with Madison Square Garden.
Speaker: 1
01:32:48
Uh-huh. And it’s a 100% random. People have tried to get people on and Tony won’t do it. He’s like, ai. No. No. That’s not how it works. No. What we do is we Yeah. Everybody just signs up and I reach into that bucket and I pull out names and Jeez. You can’t rig it. You can’t rig it.
Speaker: 1
01:33:06
And so Well, I
Speaker: 0
01:33:06
knew that part of it, but I didn’t know they did it in Madison Square Garden.
Speaker: 1
01:33:09
They do it that way everywhere.
Speaker: 0
01:33:10
And
Speaker: 1
01:33:10
In Madison Square well, one thing they do in Madison Square Garden is they have, like ai legends bucket. So they have a bunch of people backstage ai Jim Norton Right. You know, big Jay Oakerson. A lot a lot of people did it when I was there. Dave Attell. And then they pull it out, and then Dave Attell come up and do a minute of stand up, and everybody goes crazy or do five minutes or whatever.
Speaker: 1
01:33:30
But he he makes it so that even if someone is terrible for the first time, it’s only a minute. And then you have Shane Gillis
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01:33:39
Ai.
Speaker: 1
01:33:39
And whoever else next to him making fun of it for, you know, the next fifteen, twenty minutes. It’s gonna be fucking hilarious. Sana it’s also you get to see, like, oh, this is a crazy thing to do. Like, this this idea, you’re just gonna stand up in front of people and talk. Yeah. Hopefully, it’ll be entertaining.
Speaker: 0
01:33:55
Yeah. Ai.
Speaker: 1
01:33:57
And sometimes it just goes horribly wrong. And everybody’s like, boo. You’re like, ah.
Speaker: 0
01:34:03
Yeah. Oh, god. Yeah. And that’s I mean, I ai it was there. Everyone was pretty cordial, but but I could see it going.
Speaker: 1
01:34:09
Bro, those New Yorkers don’t fuck around, man. If you start you start bombing a little bit, they smell blood.
Speaker: 0
01:34:14
Yeah. No. I did I did a, a, my very first time ever in New York City was arya Catch a Rising Star. It was, you know, old old old school club. I go there and I had it was like it sai pouring down rain or snowing, sleety snow rain. I can I remember I took my trunk in a sai, and I I I never been to New York City in a club?
Speaker: 0
01:34:36
And I go in, there’s, like, eight people. And oh, fuck. And so the guy’s like, you know, what do you bring me up. Sai Ai wheel my shit up. I go but Ai mean, it’s not even bombing. It’s worse than bombing. It’s just ai never have nothing from a laugh. Nothing. Really? Yeah.
Speaker: 0
01:34:55
And I’m doing, like, my a shah. You know? Literally. I promise to be right to God. I mean, I’ve got, like, you know, the ice tray with a level sai you don’t put you know? And it kills everywhere. You know? Nothing. Fucking nothing.
Speaker: 0
01:35:07
And I just go, alright. Ai still I I think my opening line was Sai have more props than people, which I did. So I got that got a little up, but not even. Right? So, gee, I’ve got more props than fucking people here. Nothing. I get done.
Speaker: 0
01:35:20
I I don’t even know what to do. I’m shaking so bad. I and and and sai just just just there was no comic. So I just went, alright. Enjoy the next comic. And I I put the guy I have my own mic on a thing because I had that. Anyway, I’m, like, just tearful walking.
Speaker: 0
01:35:35
I ai didn’t I wasn’t gonna leave this shit. I’m gonna get out of business. Right? I’m not gonna go into comedy. This guy walks by.
Speaker: 0
01:35:42
He goes, he goes, no. Leave your shit there. It’s good. And he goes up, and he like you said, murders, you know, just absolutely murders. Eight people.
Speaker: 0
01:35:53
It was like a stadium of people laughing. And I’m, like, watching this. I’m like, holy fuck. It was Denis Leary. Oh. And he I mean, leveled eight people.
Speaker: 0
01:36:05
I couldn’t believe it. And I walked off, and he we could walk off, and he said, hey, man. I said, that was unbelievable. He goes, no. That shit that fuck. Your shit’s fucking amazing. But the thing with the he was serious. He said that whatever the, you know, cowboy boot with the kickstand, fuck.
Speaker: 0
01:36:22
That’s great. Whatever it was I was doing. And I’m like, was he, like, fucking with me? Because I ate shah, and he was no. But I’ve never gotten to tell him that again. If if Dennis Lear watches this show, that was the most coolest thing a comic ever did to me.
Speaker: 0
01:36:37
Just gave me a big hug. He said, they you were fucking great. They that crowd suck. I said, the crowd didn’t suck. You just murdered them.
Speaker: 0
01:36:44
They didn’t like me. Well, that’s a small sample. Great. You were great.
Speaker: 1
01:36:48
Eight people. You’re bombing in front of eight people. Yeah.
Speaker: 0
01:36:50
It’s pretty easy
Speaker: 1
01:36:51
to bomb in front of eight people.
Speaker: 0
01:36:52
It was horrible.
Speaker: 1
01:36:53
It happens. That was one of the great things about the store is that you would get those eight people crowd sometimes. The early days of the store, you you would go up, you know, if you got, like, 11:30 spot on a Tuesday night, you might go up in front of eight people. That can happen. Yeah.
Speaker: 1
01:37:06
Because you probably won’t really get on at 11:30 because a bunch of people stop in
Speaker: 0
01:37:09
Right.
Speaker: 1
01:37:09
And do sets. So by the time you get up, it’s probably, like, closer to one.
Speaker: 0
01:37:14
You know? I’ve been there.
Speaker: 1
01:37:15
Yeah. But those shows show you what’s bullshit. Yeah. They show you there’s something about a small crowd shows you what what you’re saying is nonsense. You know?
Speaker: 0
01:37:25
Like, sometimes you have to, like, figure it out.
Speaker: 1
01:37:27
You have to and the brutal thing about comedy is you kinda really have to figure it out in front of people with the openness of failing. Right?
Speaker: 0
01:37:35
Mhmm.
Speaker: 1
01:37:35
Like, here’s the thing. It’s ai, one of the things about jiu jitsu, when you learn jiu jitsu, it’s really important to not be afraid to tap. Because if you can just open your game up and not be afraid to tap and tap, you can learn more because you you don’t do it tense and you do it more playfully, and it doesn’t mean as much to you when you get tapped.
Speaker: 1
01:38:00
It sounds totally counterintuitive. But if you can just relax and not use your ego, not try to win every session, just try to figure out why you’re getting caught and figure out how to avoid it and but but don’t be worried about tapping. Just tap. Tap whenever you get caught. And then just let your ego deal with it and then learn and move on. But you have to experience that.
Speaker: 1
01:38:24
You have to get tapped. You have to get dominated. Like, you have to figure out, like, what’s good and what’s bad. And I think that’s the same thing ai there’s a element of that in comedy too. You gotta, like, possibly fail with this idea. Yeah.
Speaker: 1
01:38:37
Like, I’m gonna throw this out. I have this is half cooked. This is a this is a weird idea that I have. I’m like, am I crazy? Like, do you think is this where we’re going as a society? Is this where we’re going as human beings? And there’s something there, and I’m trying to find it.
Speaker: 1
01:38:54
Yeah. But I gotta risk not finding it. That’s the only way you find it. Because there’s writing on stage that you only get you there’s certain lines that only come to you when you’re willing to step out on stage. But you gotta you might fucking bomb.
Speaker: 0
01:39:11
Oh, yeah.
Speaker: 1
01:39:11
You might eat shit. You might have to transfer out of that. Like, it’s like you have to it’s a balancing act. You might this bit might not work at all, and then you might have to immediately figure out how to segue into something guaranteed to get them back.
Speaker: 0
01:39:23
Oh, yeah. I do the same. Absolutely. But I I all ai shah, I think, is full cooked. I think I I’m out there, and I this is good. This has been marinating for a while. And then I’m gonna eat shit. You’re ai, fuck.
Speaker: 1
01:39:34
Yeah.
Speaker: 0
01:39:35
That was a good bit. Damn it. For me, it’s Or one night it works right and then the next ai. They they just did a joke last ai. They they killed the night before. Nothing crickets. I’m like, what’s the same book?
Speaker: 1
01:39:45
Did you say it the same way? I Ai you record yourself?
Speaker: 0
01:39:47
Yeah. I never listened to it, though.
Speaker: 1
01:39:49
Yeah. But that’s the that’s
Speaker: 0
01:39:50
the thing. Ai sai it a little differently.
Speaker: 1
01:39:52
I fucked up before when I didn’t realize I fucked up, and I said something wrong, and I didn’t realize I said it wrong until I listened to the recording. I’m ai, oh, I couldn’t because I’ll fuck words up sometimes. Sure. And just, like, I I talk too meh. Mhmm. You know? I really do.
Speaker: 1
01:40:06
I talk way, way too much. So my brain is just, like, on autopilot talking sometimes.
Speaker: 0
01:40:11
And Well, I know it’s different if I if I don’t say it right. I’m saying if I say it the same Right. One night, it gets a great laugh. Ai, next I done. I’m like, I don’t I didn’t do anything different. Yeah. I mean, I what
Speaker: 1
01:40:22
I’m saying is, like, you you you gotta listen to it. You gotta listen to it to to really hear because there’s a lot of times where you’ll say something just slightly different, and that ai different makes
Speaker: 0
01:40:33
all the fucking But then I had one this is one last it’s a brand new joke. There’s a big big billboard in Vegas, and it’s for the Sahara Pool. And it’s got this beautiful woman on it. It’s a big, beautiful hot chick, and it sai, meet me at the pool. So I put it up on the big screen. I said, this is my favorite billboard. Look at this. Look at meet me at the pool, it’s hot girl.
Speaker: 0
01:40:52
And I said, then you get there, and it changes to a big gay pool party. It was, like, 75,000 dudes, you know, and it’s just a great picture. So I did it last night. Got a laugh, but not ai it should’ve gotten more because it’s ai then you get then you get there, and you they’re like, Ava?
Speaker: 0
01:41:08
Is anyone Ava, have you seen oh, she was here earlier. She’s probably buried under all that cock or something. Last night, it it just killed. I mean, almost for a minute, they’re still laughing and applauding. I’m like, I did I didn’t do anything different. It was just the mood of that audience.
Speaker: 1
01:41:24
That does happen too. Maybe it was ai you were doing better before that, so you had more meh.
Speaker: 0
01:41:28
Yeah. Maybe. Yeah. Sometimes, I never I’m I’m just ai. I don’t have any momentum. You know? That’s handsome. I just go up. I’ve seen your show. Your show
Speaker: 1
01:41:37
in Luxor was really fun.
Speaker: 0
01:41:38
Okay. I
Speaker: 1
01:41:38
saw it. God, it’s been it’s been a few years. I gotta check it check it out now, but I’ve had a bunch of my friends Yeah. Come to Vegas and see your show.
Speaker: 0
01:41:45
It’s very fun. It’s fun. Thank you. On Tuesdays, I do it in Spanish. It’s actually
Speaker: 1
01:41:48
Oh, do you really?
Speaker: 0
01:41:49
It’s great.
Speaker: 1
01:41:49
You speak Spanish? No. How dare you sound
Speaker: 0
01:41:51
a bit. Tom Segura do a top Tuesday ai is Spanish night. They come.
Speaker: 1
01:41:57
Tom Segura, who looks totally white Mhmm. Speaks fluent Spanish and does stand up in Spanish.
Speaker: 0
01:42:02
Right. Yeah. So he’ll do I’m gonna see him. Ai. I’m gonna see him.
Speaker: 1
01:42:05
How many dates did he do where he did, you’re gonna do your mom’s house? Yeah. He does podcast? Awesome. Or two bears one k. Which one are you doing?
Speaker: 0
01:42:12
I’m doing with this ai.
Speaker: 1
01:42:14
Oh oh, yeah. That’s your mom’s house. Yeah. They’re both real fun.
Speaker: 0
01:42:19
Bert is I love it.
Speaker: 1
01:42:20
Bert’s a great example. They’re like this. Bert’s a great example of what we’re talking about. One time meh were at the improv, and Bert did this joke, this new joke. The first set, it fucking killed. And the second set, it didn’t do nearly as well, and he was confused. And I had seen both sets. And I said, oh, no.
Speaker: 1
01:42:37
It’s because in the first set, you sai, like, he was at the excuse me. He was at the supermarket. I I know this is already on a special or something. I wouldn’t say it. It was like, he was at the supermarket, and, he was standing there talking to his wife. He’s like, god. It’s so cold in here.
Speaker: 1
01:42:58
And she looks at him, and she goes, you are so fat. And he’s like, what? She goes, your dick is hanging out. Like, he didn’t realize that his fly was open. It’s weak. He goes ram dog everywhere. He goes raw dog. He’s got no underwear on, and his zipper’s undone.
Speaker: 1
01:43:15
Because, like but the joke was the the way it was like, she had said it that way. Right. Like, you are so fat. Ai, that she’s she can’t see your dick. So it’s like, the first show, he nailed it. He nailed the cadence. Mhmm.
Speaker: 1
01:43:28
But the second show, like, something was off, and he forgot to say one part of it.
Speaker: 0
01:43:32
Right. But
Speaker: 1
01:43:32
I ai remembered it from the first show. Again, it’s weird. You know, you gotta listen. You gotta listen because it’s painful. You you hate listening to your own voice. It’s gross. You you already know the jokes. Ai, like, shut up already.
Speaker: 0
01:43:43
Shut up. Fuck off. Sai tired
Speaker: 1
01:43:45
of listening to you talk. But you have to listen to it because if you don’t, you’re not gonna, like, you’re not gonna figure out how to do it the best way you can.
Speaker: 0
01:43:52
Yeah.
Speaker: 1
01:43:54
I think.
Speaker: 0
01:43:54
No. I think that’s a great
Speaker: 1
01:43:56
I just But there’s a lot of people funnier than me that don’t do it that way.
Speaker: 0
01:43:59
Ever wanna see my myself again.
Speaker: 1
01:44:02
Yeah. Everybody’s got their own process.
Speaker: 0
01:44:03
Now, you know, this whole
Speaker: 1
01:44:04
I know some guys who are really funny that don’t record any other shows, and they don’t write at all. They just go up a lot, and they have ideas, and they work them out on stage. And they’re really, really funny.
Speaker: 0
01:44:14
Yep. Ai I I ram kind of in that with my with more of my stand up than the the prop shit I build. But the stand up ai, I just I have, like, a little bullet point. I don’t write it out.
Speaker: 1
01:44:26
When you do prop stuff, like, how do you even come up with ideas? Like, what do you do you do you, like, sit down with, like, a a whiteboard and go, what can we do
Speaker: 0
01:44:34
with No. I never bryden I’ve never sat down and said Ai gonna write today.
Speaker: 1
01:44:40
So how do the gags, like, come
Speaker: 0
01:44:41
to you? They come just ai a lot of, like, a lot of them happen by just, in a conversation or a story or something. Sometimes I’ll see a prop and I’ll or a prop meaning. Not it’s not a prop yet. It’s just a thing. Ai toilet speak. Ai I’ll see a thing, and I’ll go, there’s something funny about that. You know?
Speaker: 0
01:45:01
And I think about it, and then I go, oh, there was I was at a Home Depot. I mean, I made this, like, yesterday. I haven’t even done it yet. I’ve never even tried this yet. I’m gonna do it on Tony tonight. I never done it ever, but I think it’s funny.
Speaker: 0
01:45:15
Guys get drunk, and they punch walls all the time. Right? Because my friend I had a friend backstage. I said, what happened to your hand? He’s like, yeah. Fuck.
Speaker: 0
01:45:25
Sai said, what’d you do? He’s like, I punched a wall. I said, you punched a wall? I’m like, who the fuck? And I just thought I sai, you I thought this should be a a stud finder, like, because he hit hit a stud.
Speaker: 0
01:45:39
So I sai, there should be a beer with a stud finder sai you can find it before you’re drunk. You fucking bitch. And you yeah. So I made it. So it it looks incredible, but it’s it’s so it’s so silly, but it’s it’s it will be a crowd pleaser because
Speaker: 1
01:45:52
it Yeah.
Speaker: 0
01:45:52
It’s fine. Beep beep beep. Yeah. You ai bitch. You wait. Fuck it. Yeah.
Speaker: 1
01:45:58
Yeah. If you
Speaker: 0
01:45:58
You have to hesitate to
Speaker: 1
01:45:59
you can fuck your hand up.
Speaker: 0
01:46:01
But so that sometimes they’re that way. Sometimes Ai just, it’ll come to me. I don’t know. I had a I was watching a cartoon, I think, years ago. There’s a there was these pay paper cups and string in the telephone, and they were in a in a tree. Hey, Susie. And, you know, what’s going on, Bobby?
Speaker: 0
01:46:19
And I’m watching it. I’m like, this is an old version of the cup cups. We need a new version. Right? Because that’s just two cups.
Speaker: 0
01:46:28
So I said we have to have another cup that comes out for call waiting. And it was ai, that was my free bird. I mean, I I I did that. I came up with it was my closing bit. You ai? I’d hold someone in the front row. Ai. What’s your name?
Speaker: 0
01:46:39
And they go, hey. And I said, you seem so close, you know, the strings, and she’s holding it. And what’s your name? And she sai her name. And I say, hold on. I have another call. Hello? Ai gotta call you back. I’m talking to whoever she was, Tracy.
Speaker: 0
01:46:51
And it would just murder because they no one would speak, you know, call waiting to come out. But it was, you know, right when call waiting came out.
Speaker: 1
01:46:56
So you had a second cup.
Speaker: 0
01:46:57
And then I had three cups for conference calling that came out of that. So it it was ai boom boom, conference calling, then I’d throw it I’d say call forwarding, and I’d throw it. And then I had a clear cup that was for caller ID. I said, I know you’re there. Pickup. I can see you.
Speaker: 0
01:47:12
So it was like it was like a bam bam, bam, bam. You know? A really good prop that turned into, like, a, ai, a routine.
Speaker: 1
01:47:19
It would be funny if you tried to say those things today. People be like, what?
Speaker: 0
01:47:22
No. No. No. That’s that’s right. Ai that weird? That’s a no. That’s a it’s a Not that long ago. Carrot classic. I call them once that are like you know? I do the I do, things sometimes in the show where I do carrot classics. Yeah. I said this is stuff for people that grew up with me in the nineties. This is you’ll remember some of these. Uh-huh.
Speaker: 0
01:47:39
Ai I do like the ice tray that has a level, and it’s great. The biggest laugh comes when I go, half the crowd doesn’t know what a fucking ice tray is. I mean, that gets the biggest laugh because no one has an ice tray. But the the thing’s still funny. They’re like, oh, that’s I get this clever. You know?
Speaker: 1
01:47:51
Don’t people still have ice trays?
Speaker: 0
01:47:53
Well, if you live in a yeah. If you live in, like, a trailer
Speaker: 1
01:47:56
No. Ram regular houses.
Speaker: 0
01:47:58
Like a ice tray. Yeah. Where you put ai or they make out the choices. Now with the big cube ones.
Speaker: 1
01:48:03
Yeah. If you don’t want a ice machine in your freezer thing
Speaker: 0
01:48:06
Well, you
Speaker: 1
01:48:07
can just So maybe
Speaker: 0
01:48:08
that joke’s still relevant. I think it’s normal.
Speaker: 1
01:48:10
I think it’s I have fucking ice trays.
Speaker: 0
01:48:12
I have ice trays too.
Speaker: 1
01:48:13
I use them sometimes, I think.
Speaker: 0
01:48:15
But see, when you’re gonna when you go put it back in, you gotta leave it.
Speaker: 1
01:48:18
Yeah. But there’s certain things that people just ai pagers. Make a pager joke today. They’re like, what?
Speaker: 0
01:48:24
That’s great. Yeah.
Speaker: 1
01:48:26
Yeah. I mean, I remember when I I technological jokes, like, if you think about, like, jokes about technology, when you date them, it’s so weird. I used to have a joke about texting. Like, why are you making me read? I’m like, call me. You’re on a phone. It’s the best way to communicate. Yeah.
Speaker: 1
01:48:39
Call me. Like, why are you making me fucking read? This is so weird. I’m like, it takes you four presses to get an sai. Because that was back when people sent you a text message on
Speaker: 0
01:48:48
ai file phone. Right. Which you had yeah.
Speaker: 1
01:48:49
Ai know. A flip phone rather.
Speaker: 0
01:48:50
Yeah. We had to make a seven upside down in a pager hello?
Speaker: 1
01:48:53
It was the most annoying people that would sana to text.
Speaker: 0
01:48:56
Sai great. Why are you making why are we doing this?
Speaker: 1
01:48:58
This is so dumb. And I would just call them back. You couldn’t text Joey Diaz. He would yell at you. It would fucking he’ll text you now. But, dude, for, like, seven, eight years, Joey would fucking yell at you. Joey was the last one to get a cell phone.
Speaker: 0
01:49:10
He had a pager. Ai was the last one to get a phone too. I didn’t get one.
Speaker: 1
01:49:13
Joey had a pager until, like, the year February.
Speaker: 0
01:49:17
That’s great. I was a little more than that. I don’t know.
Speaker: 1
01:49:20
He fucking kept that pager forever, meh. And you’d have to you have to call his fucking pager.
Speaker: 0
01:49:27
That’s great.
Speaker: 1
01:49:27
He was a wild boy. He was fun. He was just such a fun dude. But he if you call if you did not call him, he would get angry. He goes, I’m insecure. I wanna hear your fucking voice, cock
Speaker: 0
01:49:37
cock cock. Ai are
Speaker: 1
01:49:38
you fucking reading text messages? Making me fucking text you like a little girl. What are you doing? Him and Red Band would get into it because Red Band loves texting. So Red Band was, like, one of the first guys to text. He would text you back in the days.
Speaker: 0
01:49:51
Yeah. You know, when you Right. Ai have
Speaker: 1
01:49:53
to press it four times ai get an s.
Speaker: 0
01:49:54
This is it’s crazy.
Speaker: 1
01:49:56
And then I remember people got those those sidekicks. Meh, you’re the coolest people. The sidekick is in a keyboard. Ai that? And some of their sidekicks got hacked. Right? Didn’t, like, Paris Hilton again, didn’t some cooter pictures pop up because her sidekick got hacked? Something along those lines?
Speaker: 0
01:50:14
Something like that or something.
Speaker: 1
01:50:15
Yeah. Like Ai
Speaker: 0
01:50:15
was probably from that.
Speaker: 1
01:50:17
Or something happened where people, like, stole their sidekicks and and got something happened. Wasn’t there something about that? Some sort of a privacy concern with the sidekicks back in the day?
Speaker: 3
01:50:27
I mean, I don’t know about Yeah. There’s a group that claimed they broke bryden air their sidekick. Yeah.
Speaker: 1
01:50:34
Yeah. There’s also there was, like, strategic releases of stuff back then, like, when they would accidentally have a photographer looking at their ai
Speaker: 0
01:50:44
as they get out of a car.
Speaker: 3
01:50:45
Like, it’s like
Speaker: 1
01:50:46
you don’t notice that photographer on his knees with a camera pointing That’s
Speaker: 0
01:50:50
all hilarious.
Speaker: 1
01:50:51
That’s so crazy. Nobody has a camera pointing
Speaker: 0
01:50:53
out. Weird.
Speaker: 1
01:50:54
Yeah. Like, come on. That guy would go to jail. That’s Right. Probably illegal. Probably illegal. And meanwhile, you you don’t have any underwear on? That seems crazy. Like, why why do they have pictures of your pussy on the Internet
Speaker: 0
01:51:06
on purpose?
Speaker: 1
01:51:07
Did you do
Speaker: 0
01:51:07
that on purpose?
Speaker: 1
01:51:08
He did. But it’s really it’s smart.
Speaker: 0
01:51:10
Yeah. I
Speaker: 1
01:51:11
mean, if you wanna market yourself and just get more popular, so more people know your name, it worked. Right. We’re talking about them right now.
Speaker: 0
01:51:18
Yeah. But that
Speaker: 1
01:51:19
was ai a brief moment. People don’t remember pussy gate. Because there was a time where these, high level celebrity type people were accidentally showing their pussy.
Speaker: 0
01:51:29
Yep. Whoopsies. Whoopsies. Here’s
Speaker: 1
01:51:31
my pussy. It’s just out there in the breeze. Mhmm. Just nothing but a curse.
Speaker: 0
01:51:36
Sai weird.
Speaker: 1
01:51:37
Over raw pussy. Out there in the ai, at clubs, at fucking award shows. Wild pussy.
Speaker: 0
01:51:45
And sai, I see Comfort pilot. See, I never sai that word on stage
Speaker: 1
01:51:48
ever. Pussy? Yo. Because of Prince? Out of speak?
Speaker: 0
01:51:51
Out of respect for Prince. That’s great. No. I just never have and I Ai think it was last ai. Not not last night. Not for last. I don’t know what it was if the crowd was just I don’t know. We were crazy. And I don’t know. Someone yelled something out, and I I said, wait. I’m I got no.
Speaker: 0
01:52:11
I sai, I’m gonna just do I did a horrible it was a it was a Bud Light bottle, you know, you know, like one of those metal ones. Mhmm. That and I had these these legs put on it like that. I said and it’s hilarious looking. I said, I made a Bud Light so guys will drink it again. Oh.
Speaker: 0
01:52:27
You know, it’s just sana and and the ai the guy sai like someone yelled at, I don’t get it. I said, it’s pussy. Like, how do you not get the joke? Because two legs spread. The beer goes like this and the legs go I said, sai, you’re eating pussy.
Speaker: 0
01:52:39
And it was just like the crowd was like, a carrot top can’t say pussy. Like, what? And they just didn’t I I said, no. It’s okay. I said, put no. No. No.
Speaker: 1
01:52:48
Are there kids in the crowd?
Speaker: 0
01:52:49
They don’t say it again. No. No. No. Don’t say it again? No. They could I sai, no. No. No. No. They’re thinking, don’t say it again. I said, no pussy. You can say it. But I said, now that I’ve said that, though, we we’ve topped it. I mean, right, you can’t top once you say pussy, you can’t top it. So they’re like, no. They laughed. I’m like, you know, now ai nothing. You know?
Speaker: 0
01:53:07
I said pussy. So we’ve reached the plateau of raunchy, at the show, the Carrot Top show, because, yeah, it’s more silly. I mean, there’s an edge But do you edge
Speaker: 1
01:53:15
to it. But you swear whenever you feel
Speaker: 0
01:53:17
like it. Yeah. You just don’t need Yeah. I don’t need to. Yeah. But I do it for some parts of that. I don’t need to. No. But I never say buzzing.
Speaker: 1
01:53:24
Fun. Swearing’s fun. People that don’t want you to swear, that that always makes me that was ai the Bill Cosby thing. He was always angry at
Speaker: 0
01:53:32
people swearing. I remember that Richard. I remember that Richard or what? Yeah. With Eddie
Speaker: 1
01:53:35
Murphy. Eddie Murphy. It
Speaker: 0
01:53:36
was so great. One of the greatest bits. He says, you know, great. Do the
Speaker: 1
01:53:40
people laugh? Yeah. You get paid. Tell Bill that when COVID
Speaker: 0
01:53:43
smiles and shut the
Speaker: 1
01:53:43
fuck up. Because you can hear it in Pryor’s voice.
Speaker: 0
01:53:46
No. Yeah. It dog. You know? Great. That’s yeah. He he’s brilliant. Right?
Speaker: 1
01:53:50
Yeah. Rick Pryor. Oh my god.
Speaker: 0
01:53:52
Just just brilliant.
Speaker: 1
01:53:53
Oh my god. My parents took me to see him, live in the Sunset Strip when he was in the movie theater. I was, like, 15, 16 years old.
Speaker: 0
01:53:59
That’s great.
Speaker: 1
01:54:00
It was incredible. I couldn’t believe how funny it was. I will never forget this. It was the first moment where I realized, like, what stand up can do. Because this guy was on stage and just talking, it was the funniest thing I’d ever heard in my life ever. Yeah. I thought about all the movies that I ai seen that were really funny movies, and I was like, there’s nothing that’s this funny. And this guy is just talking.
Speaker: 0
01:54:23
Yeah.
Speaker: 1
01:54:23
I was looking around the theater. I’ll never forget this sana. And there was people just going like this, just throwing their body up and down while they’re laughing, holding their body, like, oh meh god. Yeah. Oh my god. Just dying laughing. I was like, this is incredible. He’s just talking. It’s incredible how funny this is.
Speaker: 0
01:54:42
He was that that’s a groundbreaking special.
Speaker: 1
01:54:46
Yeah. When you’re 15, you’re ai,
Speaker: 0
01:54:48
no way. And you’re right. You’re you’re saying that. And you’re right. And seeing people, like you said, physically Dying. Laughing like that.
Speaker: 1
01:54:54
Falling down.
Speaker: 0
01:54:55
You don’t see that often.
Speaker: 1
01:54:56
Dying. Like, they couldn’t handle it. Like, they couldn’t
Speaker: 0
01:54:58
I did a I opened for Steve Harvey one time in Birmingham, Alabama. And, I get there. I set up all my stuff, and I’d met I’d never met him. This is years and years ago. I had, like, a trunk. You know? I didn’t have I had, like, 30 props, and a third of them were really good.
Speaker: 0
01:55:16
You know? I’ve kinda just opened it. I get there, and I do I do the first thing. And he oh, and Steve says to me, Ai you know, you ever worked a black crowd? I was like, no. I mean, like, all black crowd. I said, no.
Speaker: 0
01:55:30
I’m just performing in front of black people. He sai, no. No. All black crowd. I said, will it be all black? He said, oh, yeah. All black crowd.
Speaker: 0
01:55:37
I didn’t know they would go one way or the other. He just said, if they stand up and they start going they’re not leaving. They’re standing up for to to well, when they laugh. I was like anyway, I go out there and I I do okay for a bit, and then I did one. I don’t know what it was, but they all got up.
Speaker: 0
01:55:57
And they were ai it looked like they were leaving, but they were that’s that’s how they they were like you said, they were just rejoicing. They’re like, ah. And I just I never I couldn’t believe it. I and I I came off, and he’s like, nice nice set. And I’m like, that was so much fun.
Speaker: 0
01:56:12
They were so into the show. And I said, I don’t know how he’s gonna follow that because I did really sorry. God. I did really good.
Speaker: 1
01:56:20
It’s crowd.
Speaker: 0
01:56:21
I really did great. I I thought to myself, he he’s not gonna Ai you know? That fucker that ai. You know? He’s well, Speak is. Sure. I know it was his crowd, but paint was peeling off the club. It was so loud. It was so piercing loud in there. And that’s another again. I thought, I’m not in comedy. Whatever I’m in, I’m not in that.
Speaker: 1
01:56:42
When he did Kings of Comedy with Bernie Mac, that was ai Bernie Mac in his prime. Bernie Mac. Brilliant. Oh my god. Bernie Mac is so funny. He was so powerful on stage. Just ai, sometimes you see someone performing.
Speaker: 0
01:56:56
Like No. Meh. Everything his eyes alone just it’s just punch ai. Charisma. Just pop.
Speaker: 1
01:57:01
Yep. Yeah. Pop. He just was funny. There’s some dudes that just know how to to just to hit it just right.
Speaker: 0
01:57:07
Yep. Yeah. Yeah. He was that way.
Speaker: 1
01:57:10
Oh ai god. It was so funny. I mean, that whole arya tour, it’s kinda interesting that no one’s done that since. Right? There’s been, like, the Kings of Comedy and then there’s Blue Collar.
Speaker: 0
01:57:19
Right.
Speaker: 1
01:57:19
There haven’t been really a lot of those movie tours like that.
Speaker: 0
01:57:24
There hasn’t been.
Speaker: 1
01:57:25
Because there were tours and then they made films.
Speaker: 0
01:57:28
Right.
Speaker: 1
01:57:28
Right? Kings of Comedy. How many films did they make? They made at least one. Right?
Speaker: 0
01:57:32
Yeah. How many Kings of Comedy.
Speaker: 1
01:57:34
Comedy specials did Kings of Comedy make? Sai then Blue Collar did a couple. Right? Two or how many did they do?
Speaker: 0
01:57:43
Oh, they didn’t even vatsal specials yet, but they toured ai crazy.
Speaker: 1
01:57:45
They toured like crazy. But they did specials, and, they all went on to tour too. Yeah. But there hasn’t been, like,
Speaker: 0
01:57:54
one There hasn’t been you’re right.
Speaker: 1
01:57:57
No. Interesting. It’s funny. But it’s also, like, everybody’s already touring. This is, like, there’s more people doing arenas now than I think have ever ever.
Speaker: 0
01:58:07
I mean Not even close. Unbelievable. It’s weird.
Speaker: 1
01:58:10
It’s but it’s what we’re
Speaker: 0
01:58:11
talking about. Joe Kois came to my show about a month ago.
Speaker: 1
01:58:15
Joe Kois is killing it.
Speaker: 0
01:58:16
Oh, wait. Wait. He just said to meh, he was just backstage with his family. And he said, just casually sai he said, what are you what are you doing on, you know, February or something? I said, mom, I’m probably working. He goes, ah, since have you come Ai? Because I’m like, what’s going on at SoFi? He’s like, me. Fuck. Yeah. I said, you? What are you going there for?
Speaker: 0
01:58:40
He’s like, meh? Like, to perform. I just it just blew me away. I’m like, you’re playing SoFi? He’s like
Speaker: 1
01:58:46
Yeah. He’s been doing a release
Speaker: 0
01:58:47
for me. It’s art it’s art it started sold out. Yeah. I’m like, he’s and he’s so casual. Yeah. I come to SoFi. Like, he’s gonna go see the Stones. He’s like, don’t go and sai meh mean, fuck.
Speaker: 1
01:58:58
Nate Vargas sees another one like that. He’s doing arenas everywhere. And he’s just super normal, casual
Speaker: 0
01:59:05
Yeah.
Speaker: 1
01:59:05
Hang out
Speaker: 3
01:59:05
with him. Stadium. Football stadium.
Speaker: 1
01:59:08
Which one’s doing the football stadium?
Speaker: 3
01:59:09
Jo Koy and Gabriel. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker: 1
01:59:11
Oh, that’s a great one two combination.
Speaker: 0
01:59:13
March 26.
Speaker: 1
01:59:14
That’s a great one too. Yeah. You can’t go wrong. Fluffy does LA by himself. Right? Doesn’t he do the Doctor. Stadium by himself?
Speaker: 0
01:59:22
Yeah. So Insane.
Speaker: 1
01:59:23
Insane. Yeah. Fluffy has a giant following. I remember when we were at the ai house, he had the record for the most amount of shows sold out in a row. And ai, they have plaque on the wall. There look at these guys. Holy shit. SoFi Stadium. Goddamn. Jesus. Sana nuts. Yeah, man. They’re killing it.
Speaker: 1
01:59:43
This is
Speaker: 0
01:59:43
I’ll be playing it crackers on, you know There’s Shane
Speaker: 1
01:59:46
Gillis is killing it like that. Tony’s killing it like that.
Speaker: 3
01:59:49
It’s pretty at the Notre Dame Stadium last ai
Speaker: 1
01:59:51
did?
Speaker: 3
01:59:52
Shane. Hoping ai Ryan at Notre Dame Stadium.
Speaker: 1
01:59:55
Ai my god. Oh my god. That’s incredible. That’s incredible. Holy shit. Whoo. It’s sai fun ai. Fun time for comedy. Bert’s doing giant places. Segura is doing giant places. It’s really wild. It’s wild to see. Yeah.
Speaker: 0
02:00:12
I’m gonna meet him on Monday.
Speaker: 1
02:00:14
Who? Which one? Tuesday. Which one? Tom.
Speaker: 0
02:00:16
Oh, you never met him? I don’t think so. Oh. I don’t think so.
Speaker: 1
02:00:20
You’ll love him.
Speaker: 0
02:00:20
I don’t know if I think I’ve met him or not. I don’t know.
Speaker: 1
02:00:23
But he’s, like, a hundred and eighty seven pounds now.
Speaker: 0
02:00:26
Oh, really?
Speaker: 1
02:00:26
Dude, he was at the car the club. Did you see him? I I
Speaker: 3
02:00:28
can just I can just
Speaker: 1
02:00:29
I can just
Speaker: 3
02:00:30
tell from the photos. He looks so skinny.
Speaker: 1
02:00:31
Dude, he looks great. He looks great. He was at the club the other night. I’m like, dude, you look fucking great. I go, what do you weigh? He goes, one eighty seven. He has been one eighty seven since he was, like, in high school.
Speaker: 0
02:00:42
Oh, good for him.
Speaker: 1
02:00:43
Yeah. But he’s, like, healthy. He’s not ai a Ozempic.
Speaker: 0
02:00:46
Yeah. That was shah was was had a good joke, Gaffigan. He he he makes me laugh. He said, I don’t Ai sana my meet and greet, and my fan said to me, ai, you look you look, are you okay? Ai get those. Yeah. I’m okay. Yeah. You okay? He says, yeah. I’m fine. Why? He says, you look sick. He’s like, no. I no. I just lost weight. And she goes, oh, Zempic?
Speaker: 0
02:01:10
He goes, no. Not Ozempic. I’m on the other one. The You know, the other time. But he it’s ai, if you if you if you’re if you’re if you have muscles, you’re on steroids. If you’re if you’re skinny, you’re on Ozempic.
Speaker: 0
02:01:20
Can anyone be happy with anybody just looking good? You know?
Speaker: 1
02:01:23
No one. No one’s happy with them.
Speaker: 0
02:01:25
And how do you look good? What are you on? No. I’m not nothing.
Speaker: 1
02:01:27
The only time you’re gonna find people that are happy when you’re doing good is if they’re doing good. So if they’re doing
Speaker: 0
02:01:33
good, then
Speaker: 1
02:01:34
they get to say, hey. Carrot Ai. You’re looking great, man.
Speaker: 0
02:01:36
You’re looking
Speaker: 1
02:01:37
great. Because they don’t they don’t feel threatened. Yeah. You look good. So some people do. They feel threatened by other people doing well. And so they they don’t they want Oh, is that big? Yeah. Doing those epic?
Speaker: 0
02:01:47
I mean, I would die if I took a step back.
Speaker: 1
02:01:49
Fucking win. That guy has the willpower. Lose that win.
Speaker: 0
02:01:53
Right. Yeah. He’s a pussy. Right. Right. Right.
Speaker: 1
02:01:55
And then they feel better. They feel better about themselves.
Speaker: 0
02:01:57
Yeah. Because their ai sucks. Interesting. Yeah. That’s a lot of people. That’s a giant chunk of the population. That’s why I ai that three weeks ago. Funny, like, and you I hear my friends down. Ai, I look at her. I said, yeah. She’s gotta be on. I said, maybe she’s just taking care of herself.
Speaker: 0
02:02:09
Maybe she’s doing she’s eating apples and doing yoga. How can Ai do this?
Speaker: 1
02:02:14
Also, some people, it’s really gonna help them. You know, if you’re six hundred pounds, that’s probably a good idea. And what my friend was telling meh, my friend Brigham was telling me, who actually runs a arya, he’s ai the issue is the dosage, first of all, that people arya getting these enormous doses and, you know, variable by body weight.
Speaker: 1
02:02:33
It should be they should probably be getting a meh lower dose.
Speaker: 0
02:02:36
Right.
Speaker: 1
02:02:36
And he’s saying they’re showing now that if you mix it with certain peptides I think it was IGF one. Is that what he said?
Speaker: 0
02:02:43
I think so. I think
Speaker: 1
02:02:43
he said IGF one. That if you mix it with certain peptides, it eliminates the muscle loss and the bone loss. And so what you do is you if you get on one of these things, if you’re overweight, you’re really struggling, and you just need something to just get you back on track, The idea is that you could get on this and then use it as ai a kick start to a healthy lifestyle.
Speaker: 1
02:03:05
Okay. Now, you’ve dropped 30 pounds. You feel much better. Right? Okay. You’ve been eating really good. Right?
Speaker: 1
02:03:11
Now, let’s get off this fucking nonsense that you’re on that’s making you lose your ai, and let’s now just maintain your body weight. And just just keep eating healthy, and it’ll go off. Like, if you just do it the right way, it’ll you’ll continue to progress. You know, you don’t have to stay on that stuff.
Speaker: 0
02:03:29
No. It’s good.
Speaker: 1
02:03:30
Long term is kinda sketchy. Like, I don’t know what are you what are you doing to it’s ai, what is what is the actual GLP one, chemical? What what or whatever you wanna call it. Medication. What does it actually do? What does this peptide actually do that makes you lose your appetite?
Speaker: 1
02:03:47
Because that’s essentially what it’s doing. You say
Speaker: 0
02:03:49
it’s supposed to just to curb your appetite. Right?
Speaker: 1
02:03:51
Which is the last thing I ever wanna hear about. I fucking love appetite.
Speaker: 0
02:03:55
I love you.
Speaker: 1
02:03:56
Yeah. I love you. I am appetite.
Speaker: 0
02:03:57
Yeah. We we got in the airport here. I told people that ai my sister was out. Where’s where’s the best barbecue place? Barbecue
Speaker: 1
02:04:03
Yeah. Because I don’t wanna
Speaker: 0
02:04:04
hear you. Thinking about bar I
Speaker: 1
02:04:04
would lose my appetite. You can go fuck yourself. I love appetite. So regulates appetite by acting on the brain’s hypothalamus to promote feelings of fullness and satiety, and by slowing down the rate of which food leaves the stomach, gastric emptying. It also influences the brain’s reward system, reduces cravings for high calorie food, and dampening the motivation to eat.
Speaker: 1
02:04:27
These combined effects contribute to reduced overall energy intake and a longer lasting feeling of fullness after meals. I think it’s like everything else, man. Ai, you could probably use it responsibly and it can probably help you if you’re really obese. But I think there’s way too many people that are hopping on it that just need a little discipline. Right. Just just get a little disciplined.
Speaker: 1
02:04:49
Just do ai a diet. Mean that some people shouldn’t use it.
Speaker: 0
02:04:52
No. Right?
Speaker: 1
02:04:52
And if they can figure out how to do it right with, like, peptides, then okay. Maybe maybe it’s a healthy way for you to get into a good ai, but the real thing is getting get healthy. That’s the real thing.
Speaker: 0
02:05:04
Right.
Speaker: 1
02:05:04
It’s not
Speaker: 0
02:05:06
predominantly made for people with diabetes, I think, but then they found out that was Exactly.
Speaker: 1
02:05:09
It would
Speaker: 0
02:05:10
help people that were obese.
Speaker: 1
02:05:11
Exactly.
Speaker: 0
02:05:11
Which like you sai, you know,
Speaker: 1
02:05:12
I mean, like huge moneymaker.
Speaker: 0
02:05:14
Oh, it’s gaming. Make some money.
Speaker: 1
02:05:16
Making some money off
Speaker: 0
02:05:17
ai stuff. I just eat and throw up. That’s what I do.
Speaker: 1
02:05:20
But see that’s It’s a
Speaker: 0
02:05:20
lot easier.
Speaker: 1
02:05:21
That’s one that I don’t have a problem with people making money off of. It’s like Yeah.
Speaker: 0
02:05:24
I don’t
Speaker: 1
02:05:25
I don’t have a problem them making money off of any of them. Let me be real clear. But this one’s ai maybe, like, overall benefit if done correctly. For there’s so many people out there that are fucked, man. They’re five hundred fucking pounds, and they don’t know how to stop. And they they go to counseling.
Speaker: 0
02:05:43
Sai the shows they have on the ground.
Speaker: 1
02:05:44
Their stomach stapled, and it is an addiction just like gambling, just like anything else. You need some help sometimes. Yeah. And maybe that’s what they need.
Speaker: 0
02:05:53
A little boost.
Speaker: 1
02:05:54
Just something something to fucking get you out of this terrible state and move you into a place of healthy. And then you’ll be you’ll feel better. This is a problem with, like, you’ll you’ll think better. You’ll be nicer. You’ll you’ll you’ll have a better life. You’ll have more energy to do the things you like to do. There’s no downsides to being healthy. There’s zero downsides.
Speaker: 0
02:06:19
Yeah.
Speaker: 1
02:06:19
You you know, the only downside is it sucks. It’s a lot of hard work. But once you get there once you get there, the feeling of satisfaction of having accomplished something, like getting your body into a condition where it’s ai healthy And you can do stuff. You can, you know, take a fucking yoga class. You can do CrossFit. You can you can do stuff. It’s physical. Yeah.
Speaker: 0
02:06:39
It works well. Or just get implants like I did. It’s a lot.
Speaker: 1
02:06:44
There’s this one guy who got, like, the most implants.
Speaker: 0
02:06:47
Oh, I know. Buddy. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker: 1
02:06:50
You seen that guy?
Speaker: 0
02:06:51
Yeah. No. It’s that’s really creepy, isn’t it? Someone needed
Speaker: 1
02:06:55
to talk to him a long time ago. Yeah. Like, Mike, whatever you do.
Speaker: 0
02:06:58
Ai, slow down, Mike. Ai, slow down. Mike, you look crazy. I don’t know if
Speaker: 1
02:07:04
you got a mirror in your fucking house.
Speaker: 0
02:07:06
Yeah. No. Goddamn.
Speaker: 1
02:07:07
But that’s the thing with with people when they start doing that kind of stuff, they don’t know when to stop.
Speaker: 0
02:07:11
Yeah. You know?
Speaker: 1
02:07:13
And it becomes addictive. Yeah. You know? Just like eating becomes addictive or gambling. You could meh addicted to just fucking with your that guy.
Speaker: 0
02:07:20
There he is. I don’t know if he’s a back implant he got.
Speaker: 1
02:07:22
Oh, he’s got a back implant. Tight.
Speaker: 3
02:07:24
21 g’s.
Speaker: 1
02:07:25
$21,000 to do a back implant? It does look like he’s got crazy lats. I’d be like, that guy must be a rock climber. Right? If you saw that, that guy’s jacked. Look how jacked he is. All the way down to his wrists, and you’re like, hey, why are those wrists on that body? That’s crazy. Yeah. This Something’s wrong.
Speaker: 0
02:07:44
Like, this is a ai, he’s just wrong.
Speaker: 1
02:07:46
You know what I mean? It’s ai, he looks great for, like, whatever it is. The boobs are odd. But there’s some some part of your brain is, like, what is going on? Does he have fake abs too?
Speaker: 3
02:07:56
I don’t know.
Speaker: 1
02:07:57
Those are great fake abs. If those are fake abs let me see that again. Now, when there, it looks real. That looks normal. But one of the ones that you just showed earlier look like, okay. Are those his real abs? Because if you if you could get those abs, if those are real, like, you could’ve done the whole thing. You could’ve done the whole thing, fella.
Speaker: 0
02:08:16
Like, somebody just needs
Speaker: 1
02:08:18
to get you lift two weights. Right. He never did that. Admit to
Speaker: 3
02:08:20
what he’s gotten done. I’ll see if he admits to it.
Speaker: 1
02:08:22
Oh, no. He totally admits to it. Right?
Speaker: 0
02:08:24
Oh, yeah.
Speaker: 1
02:08:24
I think that’s his I
Speaker: 0
02:08:25
think that’s his whole thing.
Speaker: 1
02:08:26
Yeah. He’s letting everybody know. It’s not like he’s like, nope. No. No. No. It’s just god just keeps blessing me.
Speaker: 3
02:08:31
Under the knife more than 190 times
Speaker: 1
02:08:33
Oh, that’s normal. For over
Speaker: 3
02:08:35
340 procedures.
Speaker: 1
02:08:37
Well, that seems totally sane.
Speaker: 0
02:08:41
Hey. Just how
Speaker: 1
02:08:41
meh what is it like what kind of damage are you doing to your body just going under a 190
Speaker: 0
02:08:47
times? Geez.
Speaker: 1
02:08:49
A 190 times meh went under?
Speaker: 3
02:08:50
Starting at age 18. Woah.
Speaker: 1
02:08:53
Soon as he got out of the house, fuck you, mom and dad.
Speaker: 0
02:08:55
Yeah. I’m gonna I’m got orange cones around his bed. Yeah. I’m getting lats. I’m getting fucking lats. He doesn’t but he looks like he’s a small frame guy. He doesn’t look like that.
Speaker: 1
02:09:05
You get down his wrist. You’re like that guy’s burp wrist. This is insane.
Speaker: 0
02:09:09
The wrist was weird. Yeah. Yeah. Like It’s
Speaker: 3
02:09:11
not admitting abs, saying he did everything else.
Speaker: 1
02:09:14
Oh.
Speaker: 3
02:09:14
Let me see. I’ll just look Okay.
Speaker: 1
02:09:15
Well, if that’s true, and it may be true, they might not be able to do abs back then.
Speaker: 0
02:09:21
I don’t I think they Somebody
Speaker: 3
02:09:22
else oh, that’s I
Speaker: 0
02:09:23
know they do abs because
Speaker: 1
02:09:24
they do vatsal sculpting thing Yeah. Where they sculpt the fat away and it makes it look like
Speaker: 0
02:09:29
there are more abs.
Speaker: 3
02:09:30
Abs look like. They don’t look like that guy’s abs.
Speaker: 0
02:09:32
I have a guy
Speaker: 1
02:09:33
Those look pretty good.
Speaker: 3
02:09:34
But that the other guy’s Oh,
Speaker: 1
02:09:35
that’s that crazy guy. That guy’s had a lot of those things too. So that’s fake abs. Yeah. Those look real.
Speaker: 3
02:09:40
A little more real.
Speaker: 1
02:09:41
But that that like I’m saying, like, if somebody just talked that dude into lifting weights, hooked on the look. What is what’s Ai think those are his real abs, which are pretty good. Like, he could’ve got a tight swimmer’s body instead of, what he did.
Speaker: 3
02:09:55
Jesus Christ. Sculpting thing which then it’s not an implant, you know, but they, like,
Speaker: 0
02:09:59
ram them
Speaker: 3
02:10:00
out with
Speaker: 1
02:10:00
Yeah. They expose they cut all the fat away, so it exposes more of the abdominal area. It’s abdominal sculpting ai.
Speaker: 0
02:10:09
I think I have that tomorrow before Segura. Tight.
Speaker: 1
02:10:11
I think it’s You’re gonna have to get drained though.
Speaker: 0
02:10:13
Ai appointment. You don’t have these Yeah. Tubes out of the sides.
Speaker: 1
02:10:17
Leaking pus. Yeah. Because you just had a wound that cut your fat away because you It’s
Speaker: 0
02:10:22
so gross. You wanna look better in
Speaker: 1
02:10:24
a bikini.
Speaker: 0
02:10:24
I like I yeah. No.
Speaker: 1
02:10:25
All you have to do is just work out.
Speaker: 0
02:10:27
Jesus Christ, people. Do a crunch. Your body is who you are. Right?
Speaker: 1
02:10:30
If you have, like, a little bit of a gut, it’s because you’ve been fucking off. That’s just it.
Speaker: 0
02:10:35
You live a good life. Show it to the world.
Speaker: 1
02:10:36
Ai is who you are. Let it go.
Speaker: 0
02:10:38
You’re living good. You got a little gut.
Speaker: 1
02:10:40
If you don’t like it, lose weight. Yeah. Ai just don’t know if, you need Ozempic. Maybe somebody does.
Speaker: 0
02:10:48
Ai you said, someone that’s really obese probably would help them.
Speaker: 1
02:10:51
Dude, we’re just about four or five years away from their being able to genetically engineer you anyway. But they’re gonna be able to, like, eliminate all of the obesity. Yep. Obesity is gonna be out the window probably. At least with people who have the money for the procedure. They’ll probably just fucking lay paste around your body. Yep.
Speaker: 1
02:11:09
The fat will burn away, and you’ll fucking Uh-uh. Coming out ai like Chris Evans Probably. Captain America. Yeah. It’s gonna happen, dude. It’s gonna happen. Yeah.
Speaker: 0
02:11:19
It will.
Speaker: 1
02:11:20
They’re already doing weird stuff that’s beneficial to people. They’re already Yeah. Figuring out how to ai genes and turn off, like, gene expressions that cause certain diseases. And they’re they’re getting involved in some really wild research when it comes to ai manipulating your genome.
Speaker: 1
02:11:37
And once once it really gets good, once they really start, you know, curing certain diseases and figuring stuff out and they go ratchet up and they can start they’ll they’ll start going, who wants to be good looking? Who wants a giant dick who wants the biggest ass?
Speaker: 0
02:11:58
That’s right.
Speaker: 1
02:11:59
Yeah. It’s just gonna 100% people are gonna all look like cartoons. We’re all gonna
Speaker: 0
02:12:03
be cartooning. It’s gonna be yeah. It will all look like that.
Speaker: 1
02:12:06
We’re all gonna look like Thor, and the woman will look like ram
Speaker: 0
02:12:10
Jonathan Lopez. The whole world’s hot. I mean, if every time Fun ai very hot.
Speaker: 1
02:12:15
Fun times. Everybody gets to play.
Speaker: 0
02:12:17
Everybody’s Yeah. With you meh
Speaker: 1
02:12:18
well, how much it must suck to just unfortunately be born really unattractive? Well, you know, ai, there’s people that got a terrible roll of the dice in life. You know, they got weird shit.
Speaker: 0
02:12:29
I’m right here for God’s sakes. You’re a
Speaker: 1
02:12:31
normal looking ai, dude. You’re normal looking ai done some stuff. But this normal looking people ai you and Sai, like elephant Titus, meh. That ai? Yeah. Yeah. Remember that guy?
Speaker: 0
02:12:40
Of course.
Speaker: 1
02:12:41
Imagine something like that where you could just completely change it, and all of a sudden, he looks like Ken.
Speaker: 0
02:12:45
Yep.
Speaker: 1
02:12:47
Why wouldn’t you do that?
Speaker: 0
02:12:47
Yeah. No.
Speaker: 1
02:12:48
Why wouldn’t everybody get a chance to be hot? What’s it gonna be like if everybody’s hot? Fun. It’s gonna be fucking fun, dude. It’s gonna be awesome.
Speaker: 0
02:12:56
Everybody gets to play. I like that.
Speaker: 1
02:12:58
It’s gonna be fun. Everybody’s hot. It’s gonna be great. And what if they figure out what’s wrong with people’s brains? Like, oh, we thought that you just had to go tyler people experience life and figure out their issues and make mistakes and maybe go to jail and then get out.
Speaker: 1
02:13:12
No. No. No. No. No. We can just rewire brains. Yeah.
Speaker: 1
02:13:16
Rewire everybody’s brains sai everybody’s, like, really calm and peaceful and kind and compassionate, and you have to sign up for it. It’s a compassionate ram, and everybody has to get get the updated software.
Speaker: 0
02:13:27
That’s great.
Speaker: 1
02:13:27
It ai all be super sweet to each other. We’re gonna have to do it. Yeah. It’s software.
Speaker: 0
02:13:32
Yeah. Everyone’s gonna be update ai. Is there any Everyone’s gonna be nicer?
Speaker: 1
02:13:35
And everyone’s gonna be nice. It’s gonna be an Everyone’s gonna have
Speaker: 0
02:13:38
all their hair. They’re gonna have muscles.
Speaker: 1
02:13:40
And then all inventions will cease Yeah. Instantaneously. We’ll never invent a single thing after that. There will be no more music. Yeah. Everyone’s gonna be hot. There’s there’s no no motivation whatsoever for you to ever, like, be, like, Prince.
Speaker: 0
02:14:00
Right.
Speaker: 1
02:14:00
You know? Like, prince became prince because he was five foot three, and that was the way to get women to love him, to be so fucking talented, ai, that people just are blown away. And you’re acting like a woman. They don’t even understand it when they’re so hot for you. Like, he hacked the system.
Speaker: 1
02:14:14
You’re not gonna get that if
Speaker: 0
02:14:16
everybody’s ai. Meh Prince a couple times. One time I met him, he he was still cursing, because I was on The Tonight Shah, and I was back in that little hallway getting my makeup, done or whatever. And but I already came in makeup, so I don’t know why that you know? I was always ready.
Speaker: 0
02:14:32
So I I I just walk out the makeup thing, and Prince was on the show. His door is right there, and mine is down here. So I walked over to Jay and I said he ai in. And I said, can I could you introduce me to Prince? He said, well, you’re you’re in the phone. It’s gonna knock and knock on the door. I said, well, no. I protocol. I’d rather you you walk me in.
Speaker: 0
02:14:51
It’s Prince sana and just say, hey. And, you know, he said, I haven’t even said hi to meh yet either. So come with me. So he said, well, go after this. I he goes to get his makeup. I’m just standing there. Prince comes out of his dressing ram.
Speaker: 0
02:15:04
He says, where’s my fucking tea? And I’m like, what’s that? He’s my fucking tea. And I was like, oh, I’ll I’ll Ai go get it. And he he slow closed the door, and and Jay ai right there in the thing. I said, where’s where’s prince’s fucking tea? And she’s like, what?
Speaker: 0
02:15:25
I said, he just yelled at me to get his fucking tea. He’s like, did he does he know you’re on the no. He doesn’t know meh show. He probably doesn’t know you’re on the show. So I went and got tea, and I walked and knocked on the door and he opened it and and he he his assistant opened the door.
Speaker: 0
02:15:37
I said, this is this is Prince’s tea. He says, he doesn’t drink tea. I was like, okay. No. And prince is looking, and he’s like, close the door to the thing. What the fuck was that about? Where’s my fucking tea? I go get tea.
Speaker: 1
02:15:54
Sai Listen.
Speaker: 0
02:15:55
That seems insane. That’s insane. I it it did but but it was it was just awkward. And and and Ai didn’t know what I was supposed to do. And so the next time I’m in Vegas, I’m going to my own room.
Speaker: 1
02:16:07
You didn’t talk to him at all after that? No. We were on the show together?
Speaker: 0
02:16:10
No. They he did his thing. I came, and he’s Jay brings us all on at the end. This is everything. Prince and Caratop sana then and Prince declined to to to go out for the closing, but you can see it. And he’s he he’s like, we had Prince
Speaker: 1
02:16:23
Caratop. Do you think he was embarrassed that he told you to get his tea?
Speaker: 0
02:16:29
No. I think he was out of his mind. No. Maybe. Maybe he thought, oh, should I have no. But but he would’ve said thank you for my tea. The girl’s like, he doesn’t want tea. I’m like, he just asked me for fucking tea. Alright.
Speaker: 1
02:16:42
That follows along with my theory about that kind of talent. I always think you have to be at least somewhat insane or have a relationship. Indeed. Indeed. You have to have a relationship with insanity, which is probably why he joined Jehovah’s Witness
Speaker: 0
02:16:56
Yeah.
Speaker: 1
02:16:57
And decided to stop swearing. It’s like he wanted some structure. Right? He’s probably had a relationship with insanity. Probably.
Speaker: 0
02:17:04
I mean, he was he guessed that he had a I mean, he had a trouble you know, we all know that. He was a rough patch there for him. But, he the best one is I was going to my room at the MGM Grand at the the top suites, whatever the hell they’re called. It’s after the show, and they have the little girls at the end of the, you know, the check you in at the top. Mhmm. Oh, morning, mister Thompson.
Speaker: 0
02:17:25
How was your show? Awful. And I I start walking down the hall, and there’s this big, big I mean, big black guy just standing right in the center of the hallway. So I’m walking towards him, and I’m like you know? I’m getting closer to him, so I said, hey. How’s it going?
Speaker: 0
02:17:42
And I saw him go, like, you know, I can’t go by him. So I said, oh oh, I’m sorry. I need to go to my he’s you you can’t go to you can’t go past here. I said, ai, we only have to go to my room. He says, you’re not going by you’re not going by me. He wasn’t mean about it, but he says, you’re not you’re not gonna go by me.
Speaker: 0
02:18:02
And I and I made a joke like Sai said, I can I can probably get by you? You’re being funny? I said Ai said I can I could probably get by you pretty quick? Didn’t laugh. So I said, alright. I went back to the girl at the front desk.
Speaker: 0
02:18:13
I said, is that guy work here? She’s like, who? I said, the guy in the hallway. No. What? What guy? I said, that guy. No.
Speaker: 0
02:18:21
I said, well, then what you won’t let me go buy him. She’s like, I’ll go with she says she walks with me. I said, I I brought back up I mean, I get this little old lady.
Speaker: 1
02:18:30
Right.
Speaker: 0
02:18:31
I brought back up. We’re getting through you. And he’s like, sir, he needs to go to his room. He said, I’m sorry. You can’t you can’t you can’t come by me. And I just kinda I figured there’s gotta be something behind him. And I kinda just do one of these, like, well, I just gotta meh, and it’s Prince. And he’s standing.
Speaker: 0
02:18:48
He’s the only you know, he’s this this guy is three times his size, and Prince is standing behind him. So I just I say, Prince. And he goes, hey. I said, can I go to my room? He goes, yeah. I said, can you tell him? And he goes, to who? I said, the guy.
Speaker: 0
02:19:10
Like, he’s not with him? I he says he said, yeah. Let Carrot Top go to his room. And he ai, he goes one of these, and I ai by him. He’s just Prince is just standing just standing behind this guy in the hall.
Speaker: 0
02:19:21
Like, I don’t know what he was doing even. He was just standing there. Ai he just standing.
Speaker: 1
02:19:25
Probably ai a new song
Speaker: 0
02:19:26
in his head. Maybe he’s ai. I don’t know. But it was just weirdest, and he just said, hey. And I said, thanks, Prince. He said, no problem.
Speaker: 1
02:19:31
Ai he’s a weird guy. That that’s why he’s so good.
Speaker: 0
02:19:34
Yeah. I Ai just never forget that. Sai was like,
Speaker: 1
02:19:37
I don’t think anybody gets that good without being really out of their mind.
Speaker: 0
02:19:40
Yeah. You know?
Speaker: 1
02:19:41
No. You gotta be out there, man.
Speaker: 0
02:19:43
He is standing there behind this guy. That’s funny. It wasn’t like it wasn’t on his phone.
Speaker: 1
02:19:49
It was a funny thing to do.
Speaker: 0
02:19:50
Phones. He it wasn’t ai
Speaker: 1
02:19:52
That’s a funny thing to do. Playing stand out there with a giant dude in front
Speaker: 0
02:19:55
of you. Stand there behind him. Maybe he was waiting on a girl to come out of the room. That’s all I could think of.
Speaker: 1
02:20:00
Maybe he just
Speaker: 0
02:20:01
felt like something else. Stand there. And and I look back. Thanks, Prince. He’s no problem. Carry on.
Speaker: 1
02:20:06
When he had to use a symbol because he didn’t have the ai to
Speaker: 0
02:20:10
use his name. The record label.
Speaker: 1
02:20:11
That’s so insane. Go back to Billy Joel’s song, I ram the entertainer. Like, this is that too. It’s the same thing. Music business, fucking with one of the all time greats.
Speaker: 0
02:20:20
I was
Speaker: 3
02:20:20
just reading about Billy Joel. His first record deal, he almost fucked everything up. He ai everything away for fifteen years.
Speaker: 1
02:20:26
Oh ai god.
Speaker: 3
02:20:27
Yeah. 1973. Some ai saw him perform that song you’re talking about, and he’s like, I gotta we gotta figure this out.
Speaker: 1
02:20:33
Wow. Captain Jack? Yeah. Oh, wow. Captain Jack is a great fucking song. Have you ever seen him do it live?
Speaker: 0
02:20:40
No. Oh. But
Speaker: 1
02:20:41
yeah. Goddamn. See if you can find an old version. God. Look, you know, we play it and, like, cut it out. I mean, we can. Yeah. Let’s play it and cut it out.
Speaker: 0
02:20:51
That Ai version of
Speaker: 1
02:20:52
him doing it live from, like, the nineteen seventies, if you can, if it’s possible.
Speaker: 0
02:20:57
Yeah. There’s a whole thing in the documentary right now about Billy Joel where he’s
Speaker: 1
02:20:59
Look at this. How quick is this? Where is ai? 1976, Captain Jack, from excuse me. Connecticut, live 1976. We’ll come back, ladies and gentlemen. Now we’re back.
Speaker: 0
02:21:13
Oh, be be going back to we talked about music earlier about
Speaker: 1
02:21:17
How good was that song?
Speaker: 0
02:21:19
Oh, sai I’m saying though, and then people we have this but you I’m sure everyone has the same discussion about music and you know, these songs, everything from that arya, sixties, seventies, eighties, is still relevant and amazing, but just it’s hard to find I don’t know if they just don’t play it too. It’s too got to find ai you had to find
Speaker: 1
02:21:38
artists, man. You gotta find find the artists.
Speaker: 0
02:21:41
Go back and I I you know, who do
Speaker: 1
02:21:42
you There’s a lot of artists.
Speaker: 0
02:21:44
Ai still listen to, you know
Speaker: 1
02:21:45
Yeah. But there’s great guys right now, meh. You know? There’s Jelly Roll right now. Oh, he’s amazing. Oliver Anthony. He’s amazing. Teddy Swims. That dude. Do you know who that guy is? Oh, my ai. Play The Door by Teddy Swims. What’s that?
Speaker: 3
02:22:04
We we can’t play music anymore.
Speaker: 1
02:22:06
Just ai we’ll cut it out. We’ll cut it out.
Speaker: 3
02:22:08
Just say that. We can do that.
Speaker: 1
02:22:09
We’ll cut it out. Sorry. But Ai just want you to listen
Speaker: 0
02:22:13
to this. You you fuck with your crowd. You say, okay. Now here this is one of the best songs I’ve ever heard. Check this out.
Speaker: 1
02:22:18
Yeah. But you come back and then
Speaker: 0
02:22:19
you can no. You come back and you go, right? And it’s like, ai Listen to this song. Ai. You get it. That’s great. Yeah. Beautiful.
Speaker: 1
02:22:27
Yeah. See, they’re out there, man.
Speaker: 0
02:22:29
Yeah. I know. Ai know. He’s gotta find you. I guess when I’m old like me, I just get stubborn. I go, oh, what do you listen to? I’m like, oh, Elton John.
Speaker: 1
02:22:35
No. I’ll give
Speaker: 0
02:22:36
you some shit
Speaker: 1
02:22:36
ai listen to. There’s some great shit out there. I try to.
Speaker: 0
02:22:41
I just get so I’m old. So Do you
Speaker: 1
02:22:44
listen to Zach Bryan at all?
Speaker: 0
02:22:45
I love Zach Bryan. Yeah. I love Zach Bryan.
Speaker: 1
02:22:47
I love Zach Brown too, but Zach Brian.
Speaker: 0
02:22:49
Oh, Zach Brian?
Speaker: 1
02:22:50
He’s the guy that was at the arena with Shane Gillis. Ah. Yeah. You don’t know him? No.
Speaker: 0
02:22:54
I don’t wait. Do I not know him?
Speaker: 1
02:22:56
He’s phenomenal. He’s phenomenal. Phenomenal. And another one of those guys is just, like, super, super talented and incredible voice. He was in the military, man. He was making songs on, like, TikTok in the military. One of those things, like, Vine or something like that, and that’s how he popped. Wow.
Speaker: 1
02:23:11
Just, like, right out of nowhere. Yeah.
Speaker: 0
02:23:14
It’s crazy. And then let him
Speaker: 1
02:23:15
out of the arya, ai, you’re gonna be a fucking
Speaker: 0
02:23:17
star kid. Superstar.
Speaker: 1
02:23:18
He was in the navy. Where what what arena were they at?
Speaker: 0
02:23:23
Notre Dame.
Speaker: 3
02:23:24
Notre Dame Stadium Football Stadium. How many people
Speaker: 1
02:23:26
is in that?
Speaker: 3
02:23:28
Ai show you. I mean, it’s a 100
Speaker: 0
02:23:29
A lot.
Speaker: 1
02:23:29
Is there a picture of them on stage?
Speaker: 0
02:23:31
A lot. Yeah. I
Speaker: 1
02:23:32
wanna see a picture of them on stage. That’s so surreal. Yeah. Those numbers are so surreal. Like, look at
Speaker: 0
02:23:42
look at the size
Speaker: 1
02:23:43
of that. That’s so crazy.
Speaker: 0
02:23:48
It’s like deluxe are every night. So nothing different.
Speaker: 1
02:23:51
Basically the same.
Speaker: 0
02:23:52
It’s the same. What’s the biggest show you’ve ever done? Stadium in, Florida.
Speaker: 1
02:23:57
What is that?
Speaker: 0
02:23:58
But that was for, it was for their homecoming. It wasn’t a it wasn’t a Carrot Top show. I was the headliner, but ai was it was a it was a, look at that.
Speaker: 1
02:24:08
That’s crazy.
Speaker: 0
02:24:11
Wow.
Speaker: 3
02:24:13
I’m so nervous about doing it too.
Speaker: 1
02:24:14
Sai can’t wait to
Speaker: 0
02:24:15
Oh, I imagine.
Speaker: 1
02:24:16
Well, how could you not be? Well Yeah. But he’s
Speaker: 0
02:24:18
Ai my thing with the stadium because, you know, we we do they do a soundtrack there with the but this the stadium’s empty, and it just it was, you know, a 100,000 people. This side was gonna be the the alumni. This side was the the kids. You know? All ages. Now that they had a rules. You can’t say you couldn’t curse.
Speaker: 0
02:24:38
You couldn’t, definitely couldn’t anything sexual. So ai thank god I brought all this stupid shah, which is, you know, meant for Tyler is a bong with you know? Right. The open guy goes out, and his first joke is like, I’m eating this chick out. Right?
Speaker: 0
02:24:53
And my my guy comes running in like, dude, ai boy is like, his opening line sai, I meh, this girl. And I said, no. He goes, yeah. I’m like, well, second guy goes out. Same thing. He’s just they’re they’re they’re beyond rotten, gross, dirty. Right?
Speaker: 0
02:25:10
And I’m getting ready to go up, and I’m like, well, I’m ai eat shit now because they’re they’re you know, they went here. But the crowd wanted Goofy. They they and they had heard all this. It was actually working in my advantage. They they did all this horrible dirty stuff that they’ve the the crowd was kinda like, let’s get Caratop.
Speaker: 0
02:25:29
And I came up and I was like, you know, I did my exact thing I was supposed to do. It was silly, goofy, you know, for both both ai. They loved it. But the weirdest thing, ai I’d love to ask him that, because I never played a stadium, is it you say, you know, hey, and it goes, hey. Hey. Hey.
Speaker: 0
02:25:46
Hey. Four ai. It’s a backslap, whatever they call that.
Speaker: 1
02:25:49
Oh, echo?
Speaker: 0
02:25:49
Yeah. So I didn’t in in soundcheck, it wasn’t doing that. Oh, yeah. So I went out and I said I said, something like, you know, Florida I’m from Florida. I was like, oh, Florida, my hometown. I said Florida, my hometown. Florida, my hometown. Oh, no. Ai I went, oh, shit.
Speaker: 0
02:26:04
Like, in my head, I I didn’t know what I was gonna do in that split second. And I sai, I said, wow. Wow. One thing cool about playing in the stadium stadium stadium is that every ai every joke that’s gonna bomb is gonna bomb four ai four times four times. And the crowd went like crazy. And I said, no. Seriously, that eight shit. And it it just worked off that echo. It was crazy.
Speaker: 1
02:26:26
Figured out how to work
Speaker: 0
02:26:27
with Right. Right. Right. In a split saloni. I’m like, yeah. That’s the way ai goes. Yeah. Sucks. Sucks. Sucks. Ai. Sucks.
Speaker: 1
02:26:32
Gotta imagine not just ignoring the fact that you hear yourself four times.
Speaker: 0
02:26:36
No. I know when you have to time out, you’re right. It was the weirdest thing ever. You’re holding up a a thing, and you’re like, it’s a thing with a thing and a thing. And you have to hold it longer till they see it to put it down. It’s weird. I remember when,
Speaker: 1
02:26:49
I used to work at Great Woods Center for the Performing Arts. It was like a like a concert venue. And, I was there when, Bill Cosby was there. And the the problem with comedy in that place is that it was outdoors. So the inside of it was all covered. Like, there was, like, an inside space.
Speaker: 1
02:27:09
It was open air. Right. There was a roof over it, and it was all covered. And then there was a lawn area. Yeah.
Speaker: 0
02:27:15
And the Meadowbrook ai of thing.
Speaker: 1
02:27:16
And they sold tickets for the lawn, but you could only hear the show inside the the roofed area. Because once it got out, all the echo fucked it up so bad Right. When it made it out into the lawn, you couldn’t understand what the fuck anybody said. You had to be in there where the speakers were. And so everybody was furious. They were all complaining, like, oh, they never checked.
Speaker: 1
02:27:36
Like, no one checked to see if you could hear someone talk out here. That’s so
Speaker: 0
02:27:40
crazy. Crazy. These kids today Yeah. Ai
Speaker: 1
02:27:43
don’t sana know what he was saying.
Speaker: 0
02:27:44
Yeah. Dennis, come in there.
Speaker: 1
02:27:47
I saw Dangerfield there. He was backstage. So backstage, when Dangerfield would do shows, he would get high as fuck. He would take off all of his clothes, and he put a robe on. That’s where you go on stage with a bathrobe on, just raw dick and a bathrobe Oh, damn. And with slippers on. And, dude, he fucking murdered.
Speaker: 1
02:28:06
I was I guess Ai was, like, 19 years old when I was working there. And he went up there, and I I was not even thinking about doing stand up comedy yet. So I was just loving it just as a pure fan. I was like, I can’t can’t believe Rodney Danger feels just hanging out with a bathrobe on.
Speaker: 0
02:28:21
Because that’s what he was known for in
Speaker: 1
02:28:22
in Vegas.
Speaker: 0
02:28:23
Even Vegas, he’d go on the casino in a robe and I saw it. Prison. I saw him. I didn’t see a dick, but
Speaker: 1
02:28:28
I saw him in a bathrobe, and I saw him go on stage in a bathrobe. And that was his move.
Speaker: 0
02:28:33
No. I no. He did he I saw it. He he’s he walked up, in his dress ram on purpose with it undone. I swear to god. I said I said, hey. I said, Rodney. He said, yeah. This is my mom. He goes, hey, mom. And you just stand there. Yeah. My mom was like, crazy.
Speaker: 0
02:28:51
Right? And he meant to. He meant to. He’s ai, looked at me like, how’s your mom doing? I’m like, great. And she’s like, dude, your your thing is dinging.
Speaker: 1
02:28:58
In our dressing room at the club, his wife, donated his notes from an appearance on this night show. So it’s his handwritten notes, and they’re all framed with a with a photo of is
Speaker: 0
02:29:08
that? Rodney.
Speaker: 1
02:29:09
Yeah. It’s pretty cool. He what I one of the things I loved about him, man, is that he, introduced the world to a lot of other great comics. He introduced the world to Kinison
Speaker: 0
02:29:19
Really?
Speaker: 1
02:29:20
Hicks Right. Robert Schimmel, Don Ai, Jerry Seinfeld, like a lot of meh did those HBO young comedian specials. Those broad game show models.
Speaker: 0
02:29:32
You’re doing as well, and and Tony is doing that because you give all the comics time on your show, which most shows don’t have that anymore. Right? The late the late shows don’t a lot of late
Speaker: 1
02:29:43
shows don’t. But comics that have podcasts all do.
Speaker: 0
02:29:45
Yes. Right. But Ai mean but you but you made a lot of people have podcasts now. You you’re powerful person behind me.
Speaker: 1
02:29:53
Listen. I think people were gonna have podcasts with their iPad.
Speaker: 0
02:29:55
People ai, fuck it. I’m on oh, you got me on here. You know, the the other shows, like, late night shows don’t have comics anymore.
Speaker: 1
02:30:03
They don’t. Well, that’s silly. But also, they’re just so hampered anyway.
Speaker: 0
02:30:07
Book to
Speaker: 1
02:30:08
to come up. Because it’s all it the whole show was a it sai not not to knock late night shows because some of them are fun to watch, but it’s basically it’s publicity for a bunch of stuff. Right? It’s like someone’s coming on to promote an album, someone’s coming on to promote a movie. Nothing wrong with that. Right?
Speaker: 1
02:30:24
But the problem is it’s not what the host is interested in. Ai? And to I think the the way that those shows are, you’re handicapped in a way where you have to get on the famous people, you have to get on the rock star, You have to you can’t just have weird people come on. You can’t have some guy who worked for the CIA come on and
Speaker: 0
02:30:40
Right.
Speaker: 1
02:30:41
Tell you about aliens. Right. This is what I know so far.
Speaker: 0
02:30:43
But that would be the whatever guest, ai, the third middle guest. They have to
Speaker: 1
02:30:46
do that, though. You can’t do it. You first of all, you only have ten minutes. Each guest is, like, in and out real quick. You’ve barely enough time to scratch the surface of, like, one or two stories. You don’t get it you don’t get it.
Speaker: 0
02:30:56
I guess ai I
Speaker: 1
02:30:57
guess what I
Speaker: 0
02:30:57
to do it. I used to I do it. I did it. I don’t know how many times I did this ai, but they it was all I never was promoting anything. In fact, the one time I had something to actually promote, they didn’t wanna put me on. I ai, I’m trying to promote chairman of the board, this movie.
Speaker: 0
02:31:09
And they’re ai, meh. But That’s hilarious.
Speaker: 1
02:31:11
Yeah. The one time you wanted to help me out.
Speaker: 0
02:31:14
No. I did. I have this this movie coming out. And then Yeah. I remember that movie. Yeah. They’re like, nah. I’m like, I’m I got a movie, Jay. I gotta, you know, I got I’m in a movie. Now the weirdest one. I’m gonna ask you I was gonna reverse this to ai. If who who’s the strangest?
Speaker: 0
02:31:28
You said strange guest, maybe think of this, that you’ve had to do in front of, I’ll tell you mine real quick. So I I was on the tonight shah, and Dick Cheney was on. Oh. And, I mean, I have nothing against I mean, it’s just is it Cheney like sulfur? Well, I had five, maybe six props. Dick Cheney props on purpose. Right?
Speaker: 1
02:31:51
Because because Dick Cheney was there.
Speaker: 0
02:31:53
No. I I had, like, three just because I’m topical all the time in the show. So I already have them in my shah, but then when they said, Dick, you’re gonna be on with Dick Cheney. I said, oh, shit. Can I do and then sai I started writing more? So I had, like, six, and I opened with them. Right?
Speaker: 0
02:32:08
So but the weird part was I get there and we’re rehearsed at the secret service. Everybody’s there that, you know, I can’t Ai can’t get to my ram. Princess ai that you can’t go by again. You know? So I I I I finally rehearsed it, and and they’re like the people are like, you know, he’s gonna be a guest. I said, well, no.
Speaker: 0
02:32:25
It’s just why I’m doing it. Right? And they’re like, jeez, like, you know, I I don’t know. I said, well, you know, it’s very topical. It’s it’s and I think it’s funny that he’s there. Right? So Jay come this is right for the show.
Speaker: 0
02:32:40
He said, is he gonna sai, or is he gonna leave? Because he could service surrounding me, like, gonna go grab him and go. And Jay’s like, well, I I don’t know what what I mean, I can ask him, and I’m thinking, what just between you and meh, I mean, this is, like, behind the curtain.
Speaker: 0
02:32:55
Right. What do what do you think? Is it better if he’s there and I do it and they keep cutting over to him? Or if he’s gone and I do it and I keep looking ai, thank god he’s gone. What’s funnier? And he’s like, Ai don’t know.
Speaker: 0
02:33:08
I mean, I I if you’re fine I said, I think if if he could stay, it would be better because it’s really funny. I’m doing it right in front of the fucking guy. Right. So they said, okay. So they go back. He talks. He goes back. He says, okay. He he thing.
Speaker: 0
02:33:20
So he goes back to the desk and they’re, lady, please welcome me in the phone. I’m like, camera top. He came out. Great impression. Yeah.
Speaker: 0
02:33:27
Ai good good friend of it, though. Wacky guy from Vegas. And so I walk out and I go right off. I meh I said I look over and said, hey. I had I said, funny that you’re here. And I I pull out probably could find this.
Speaker: 0
02:33:41
We pull it out, and I have a Dick Cheney gun, and it’s a it’s a rifle with the the the thing goes this way because he shot the guy in the meh. And, I mean, it’s already ai, holy fuck. Right? And then, like, Sai I found your gun. I’m sorry, Bill.
Speaker: 0
02:33:53
And it’s like, it didn’t the crowd didn’t know at first because they’re all looking at him. They’re looking at him. Feel loud.
Speaker: 1
02:34:00
Yeah. Did he laugh?
Speaker: 0
02:34:01
Well, you you’ve got that, you know, just just pissed. Right? So I I Sai go, right, and I do another one. I had an operation game. You know, the operation had his his face on it because they he’s always getting operating.
Speaker: 1
02:34:16
Right.
Speaker: 0
02:34:16
I had a book where the thing it was just, like, five or six Dick Cheney jokes. Finally, I I keep looking over. I’m like, you know, we’re good. You’re not gonna have me you’re not gonna have me audited, or Ai gonna be killed here. And, you know, Jay’s Ai would now the crowd’s really getting and now the chain is looking at me like, how many more fucking he he even says, how many more do we I sai, I got one more, and then we’ll move on.
Speaker: 0
02:34:36
So I do one more Cheney joke. Now he’s kinda he’s kinda laughing, but still kinda ai, this is aggravating. Then I go and I do, a a piggy bank for gay guys, and it’s a it’s a piggy bank where the slot is in the asshole instead of the top of the thing. Right? It’s a great prop. It’s a piggy bank for gay guys. Murders. I mean, I did a great great set. I get done. I walk over.
Speaker: 0
02:35:01
I sit down, and there’s something going on. Like, the the the the the there’s a ruckus. There’s, like, secret service, something going the writers, the producers, and Jay Jay gets up and he and I’m just sitting with Dick Cheney. And the lady comes over and she goes, oh my god. That was that was that was the best that you’ve ever done. I said, thank you, Tracy.
Speaker: 0
02:35:19
And she said, Ai look over and sai, thank you for being a good sport. Yeah. It was where do you find all this? I said, no. I make it.
Speaker: 0
02:35:25
He thought I just found those. I said, no. I I make where do you find all this stuff? I said, I made it. You made that. It’s pretty clever.
Speaker: 0
02:35:32
His daughter is is there, and, apparently, all those Dick Cheney jokes were fine. But when I did the gay piggy bank, she lost her mind. Like
Speaker: 1
02:35:46
You can’t do that?
Speaker: 0
02:35:47
No. I don’t know. I she she
Speaker: 1
02:35:49
Lost her ai, like
Speaker: 0
02:35:51
Like, really mad that I did a gay piggy bank joke on the show. Forget. I just did five jokes about her father. So the everyone was taking her out of the studio. She was losing her she was screaming and so they took her out of the studio.
Speaker: 3
02:36:06
Just
Speaker: 1
02:36:07
the gay piggy bank? That’s it?
Speaker: 0
02:36:08
Yeah. It was like, I can’t believe that you that that that in front of my father, and I said, I thought you were making fun of me because I’m doing a dick chain. You know, I shot your dad joke.
Speaker: 1
02:36:18
The gay piggy bank is what sai it wrong? It was
Speaker: 0
02:36:19
the gay piggy bank.
Speaker: 1
02:36:20
Is this Liz Cheney?
Speaker: 0
02:36:21
I think. I don’t remember. Thank you.
Speaker: 1
02:36:23
It’s one of
Speaker: 0
02:36:23
the daughters. I don’t know.
Speaker: 1
02:36:24
How many daughters do you have?
Speaker: 0
02:36:25
I don’t know. That’s why I think it might have been me.
Speaker: 1
02:36:26
How many daughters?
Speaker: 0
02:36:27
Just two.
Speaker: 1
02:36:28
One of the daughters.
Speaker: 0
02:36:29
Let’s just say one of them. One of the daughters. I don’t think it was Allegedly. Allegedly. Could’ve been impossible. It was a
Speaker: 1
02:36:36
Crazy person pretend to be one of the daughters. Dick Cheney’s daughter, Liz, are are both staunchly against Donald Trump despite being Republicans, but why are Liz and Mary once feuding over same sex marriage? How how are they ai over that? Let’s find out. What’s that?
Speaker: 3
02:36:53
I was just trying to add. I don’t When
Speaker: 1
02:36:55
was this?
Speaker: 0
02:36:55
I don’t know.
Speaker: 1
02:36:57
I know you’re trying to add, but now I’m curious. Like, what This article is from a year ago. What? A year ago, someone’s upset about same sex marriage? What are they saying?
Speaker: 3
02:37:08
Well, this I mean, the the election
Speaker: 0
02:37:10
I had a I had another prop that that that Hold on. What is what’s the election?
Speaker: 3
02:37:13
Was a year ago, so it wasn’t it was had to do with that. That’s why they mentioned Donald Trump ram that.
Speaker: 1
02:37:17
Right. Well, what is, what is the same sex marriage dispute between I don’t know. Because I need Sai need to know. Yeah.
Speaker: 0
02:37:23
Yeah. Some
Speaker: 1
02:37:24
people are still arguing about that until we ’25. Gay. Okay. And they believe in same sex marriage, the other one doesn’t? Well It’d be funny if it was the other way around. Yeah. And gay was ai, I sana
Speaker: 0
02:37:34
to be the legal fuck. What? I don’t know which one.
Speaker: 3
02:37:36
We don’t know Ai don’t know which daughter meh ai.
Speaker: 0
02:37:38
I don’t I don’t either. I’m assuming it was probably the one that was gay maybe then. Maybe it’s just like that.
Speaker: 1
02:37:43
Two daughters just hating on each other. I well, I don’t think you should get married.
Speaker: 0
02:37:47
I had I had another one that was kinda strange because, it was a dumb joke. It made me think if you said same sex marriage. So right when gay marriage became legal in certain states, it was ai four states. I had a big meh, a big map that I’d hold up, and Ai say, hey. Gay marriage is now legal, and this is a map to to shah people, and we’d have these, right where the states were, there were these little penises on springs or whatever.
Speaker: 0
02:38:11
And it was it was so it was just dumb. Right? So I rehearse it, and the, you know, the crew is fucking going crazy. They’re like, sai, fucking dildos, and, you know, you can’t do a dildos on NBC. And so this lady comes over and she goes, you can’t I said, I know.
Speaker: 0
02:38:29
I Ai I mean, I think it’s silly enough. You know? They’re not they’re just on springs, and she she’s I would always fight with her. She said, no. So I said, alright. If I come up with a different idea without dicks on it, can I do it? She’s like, yeah. So I thought, I don’t know, dude.
Speaker: 0
02:38:49
I I took the springs off, and I had the the guys back there at The Tonight Show print out Ryan Seacrest faces, you know, ai, four of
Speaker: 1
02:38:57
them. Right.
Speaker: 0
02:38:58
And I put them wrote the gay marriages. Now Ryan Seacrest is a good friend of mine, and and everyone was making fun of him. Right? The big back then, oh, he’s gay, and it’s freaking not, clearly. But the joke would be in a kill. Right? Sai I I come back and I go, how about this? And she’s like, oh my god. That’s I sai, I know him.
Speaker: 0
02:39:17
He’s not gonna he he he’ll he’ll probably text me and say, why would you do that? Jay comes over and goes, oh, you know, he’s really a good friend of mine. I said, no. Jay, I sai, he’s a friend of mine too. He’s it’s funny.
Speaker: 0
02:39:30
It’s not it’s not anything. He’s ai, yeah. Like, if you if you if you if you really if you couldn’t just That
Speaker: 1
02:39:35
dude does not seem that friendly. Is he?
Speaker: 0
02:39:38
No. No. Right? And Jay but Jay was very protective of I said, no. It’s he said, no. You know, he’s the NBC. That’s my friend. Sai don’t think it’s necessary. Ai said, well, yeah. I can put, like you want me to put, like, like I said, like, dick you know, Richard Nixon dicks or something? He said, no.
Speaker: 0
02:39:54
Just get rid of just get rid of the just get rid of the joke. I said, it’s funny. Fuck. Yeah. Well ai over Bryden Kriese at his face.
Speaker: 1
02:40:01
Problem with, you know, having editorial access to someone’s act when they’re doing a Tonight Show set. It should be ai, no.
Speaker: 0
02:40:08
Oh.
Speaker: 1
02:40:08
It should be like, look, if you want fucking the Black Crowes to play, they sing their song, you know what the song is, you know what the lyrics are, that’s fine. But with a comic, you can’t Yeah. They You can’t tell them they can’t do something.
Speaker: 0
02:40:22
Well, they ask nicely. They ask nicely. And Sai of course, I I had I had 40 other props. I didn’t need to
Speaker: 3
02:40:27
do that.
Speaker: 1
02:40:27
Even swearing. Like, what are you doing? You’re being silly. It’s silly. Like, come on.
Speaker: 0
02:40:32
I did break the law with them once. What’d you do? I I was doing a bill a podium for Bill Clinton, and it it it was the closing bid. And I would do the stupid voice to you ai, I did not. And and there was this, you know, presidential seal on this podium and had a true false buzzer button. It’d go bing.
Speaker: 0
02:40:51
And it would be it was just so stupid. You know? Like, I did not have and you hit the button. I did not have. I will not raise e, and then, you know, I fucked her ding ding ding something. I forgot the joke now.
Speaker: 0
02:41:05
But the the the closing punch of the whole thing was right after I’m doing the podium. That would kill. I ai I could just stop on that. I had a foot pedal where, Sana Glinski’s head would come up ai a little on a beret, literally. This is great. Took a hard took engineering to do this.
Speaker: 0
02:41:20
And so I go, I did not, and then I hit the foot pedal. And the the woman the beret would come up, and I go, not now. It’s just that’s all Ai had. It’s just not now. It in the rehearsal, it’s just it was the they were ai, that’s the best thing you’ve ever brought here.
Speaker: 0
02:41:37
You’re my god. And I said, yeah. Great. Here here comes my lady with her new pad. And I said, oh, fuck. She goes, everything is good.
Speaker: 0
02:41:46
Stand standards and practice. I said, I said, oh, and I give her a hug. I said, this is the first time I’ve come, sana everything got approved. And she says, yeah. Ai went back to my dressing ram.
Speaker: 0
02:41:56
Like, I can’t believe I get to do that’s my closing bed the fucking it’s gonna right before I’m talking a minute before I come in. She walks in. She’s like, okay. You can do the podium, but you can’t you can’t put her head down. And I said, why you can’t use your hand to force her head down. That’s just that they can’t that they can’t it can come up.
Speaker: 0
02:42:20
You just can’t force it down. I run to the prop department. I said, is there a way you can because I had made it. They don’t know my meh they’re looking at, like, I don’t know. I made it.
Speaker: 0
02:42:30
I didn’t is there a way I can it can release and go down without me touching it? And they’re like, I don’t know. They looked at it, and I’m on in five minutes. I said, fuck it. So I I do the whole thing.
Speaker: 0
02:42:41
I said, I did not and the head comes up, and I said, not now. And I used my elbow to put it down. And, of course, the crowd it killed, and it would have better if I did this, but I said, not now. I get done. I come over, and I can see her fucking feeling. She comes running over me because they always come and say, what a great set. Oh, you did so good.
Speaker: 0
02:43:00
Tracy Fisk did. She said, that was phenomenal. I said, I said, I that was Jay’s like, how do I get that? And then I said, the stands and practice lady coming over. Fuck. And I said, Ai in trouble. She’s like, I said, I didn’t do that. Yeah.
Speaker: 0
02:43:19
This if we go because show’s over. Thank meh. Tomorrow ai. And then then then shah comes over. Okay.
Speaker: 0
02:43:25
If I get fired over this I said, you’re not gonna get fired ai this. She said, oh, no. They’ve already bleeped it out on the on the West Coast. The East Coast, it went live. I said, bleep out what? You can’t force her head. I said, I didn’t force I didn’t use my hand. I used my elbow.
Speaker: 0
02:43:39
She just looked at me like, you fucking like, so clever. I said, well, you said don’t use my hand. So everything was fine after that, but it did get bleeped out and the and, it just it went, you know, fucked the joke up because they went, I did not. And then it it it, you know, edited ai to just good night. Like, there wasn’t a ai. Yeah. Well You ever get in trouble for something?
Speaker: 1
02:44:04
Like ai that. No.
Speaker: 0
02:44:06
Well, that this is when I got in trouble. I got banned from Fox, I think for life, for this.
Speaker: 1
02:44:12
And this is For something else?
Speaker: 0
02:44:14
This is really weird. Yeah. I was in the country no. Billboard Music Awards, and they asked me to do a a little bit with Chris Rock. It’s Chris Rock and meh, and he he he you know, it’s it was such great together because he’s ai, you know, top. You know? And then Ai out there, but it’s stupid and but Chris Rock is you know? So he and I go out.
Speaker: 0
02:44:34
We do our rehearsal, and I had, like, four props or something. And the guy came over, like, in a panic ai middle of the show. It’s already happened. Our bit’s coming up in about forty minutes. He says, I need you guys to go longer. And Chris Rock’s like, bye.
Speaker: 0
02:44:52
What don’t what don’t he said, just come up with something. And I said, well, I can go I can I can have my guy go back to the MGM and grab a few more props? That’d be awesome. Chris sai like, yeah. Perfect. You know, we’ll kill the time without having to change too meh. And I can just pull out more shit.
Speaker: 0
02:45:07
I go and I tell my guy, go TV clean. Get get like this. Get the the thing, the towel with the misspelled the and then the, one of the sai the the toilet seats. So I added it was a it was a it was a it was a great joke. Ai was a toilet seat with a seat belt.
Speaker: 0
02:45:27
So when you eat a Taco Bell, right, you sit on it and I put it on. Right. And I I and the sound sana effect in the show would say, Houston, we have a problem. And it would it’s a great stupid little bit. But there’s about 20 tyler seats leading up to that one. I was like, no. I’m not kidding. I had, like, 30 toilet seats.
Speaker: 0
02:45:44
And one that held hold women’s hair when they throw up. I had one that lights up. I had one with spikes on it. It was so many. So the last one was the seat belt. Right? So it it’s very clean. Right? It does great.
Speaker: 0
02:45:56
We walk back, and I’m thinking they’re gonna come high five me because we just saved the show. We added, you know, we added time they needed. The guy is like, fuck. They they they banned me because I said Taco Bell because it was sponsored by Taco Bell. How the fuck am I supposed to know it’s sponsored by Taco Bell? That’s real shit. Yeah. Dude, that’s hilarious. I didn’t say fuck. They said, no.
Speaker: 0
02:46:23
You said Taco Bell. I’m like
Speaker: 1
02:46:25
Oh my god. That’s so funny.
Speaker: 3
02:46:26
Ai that.
Speaker: 0
02:46:27
You fought you’re banned for life.
Speaker: 1
02:46:28
That’s hilarious, dude.
Speaker: 0
02:46:30
Because I said Taco Bell. I didn’t know. I mean, I’m not the guy. They should have come to me and sai, don’t do anything Yes. With Taco Bell.
Speaker: 1
02:46:36
I 100. That’s not on you. No. That’s a normal reference for
Speaker: 0
02:46:40
a call.
Speaker: 1
02:46:41
No. That’s funny.
Speaker: 0
02:46:42
Yeah. Not funny, really. I mean, funny now They would have
Speaker: 1
02:46:46
been pumped if you said Del Taco.
Speaker: 0
02:46:48
Ai? Yeah. Go on. I bet it was. If they now see if they told me that, I would’ve. Yeah. He’s would’ve done that.
Speaker: 1
02:46:55
Hey, brother. This sai a lot of fun.
Speaker: 0
02:46:57
Yeah. Thank you. It was a lot of fun.
Speaker: 1
02:46:58
And I’m looking forward to seeing you on Kil Saloni. And if anybody wants to check them out, Carrot Top is at the Luxor in Las Vegas, Nevada on a regular basis. What’s the best way to find out when
Speaker: 0
02:47:08
you’re there? Text me. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Is it Sai Vegas I mean, carrottop.com or, Sai Vegas, Beautiful. Alright, my man. Thank you. Thank you. That’s a
Speaker: 1
02:47:18
lot of fun. Alright. Bye ai.