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#2312 – Jeremy Renner Podcast Episode Description
Jeremy Renner is an actor, musician, philanthropist, and author. His new book, “My Next Breath: A Memoir,” is available now. https://www.instagram.com/jeremyrenner
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#2312 – Jeremy Renner Podcast Episode Top Keywords
#2312 – Jeremy Renner Podcast Episode Summary
In this episode of the Joe Rogan podcast, the discussion centers around the process of writing a book, personal recovery, and the importance of breathing techniques. The guest, who has experienced significant physical trauma, shares insights into their journey of recovery and the role that writing played in it. They describe the collaborative process with a ghostwriter to structure the book, emphasizing the importance of honesty and vulnerability in connecting with readers.
A major theme is the transformative power of breathing, which the guest credits as a crucial element in their recovery. They discuss how conscious breathing became a central part of their life, helping them manage pain and anxiety. The conversation touches on various breathing exercises and their benefits, referencing James Nestor’s book on breathing techniques.
The guest also highlights the significance of surrounding oneself with positive influences and creating a supportive community. They share their vision of building a communal recovery center to provide access to resources and support for others. This ties into the broader message of overcoming adversity and the value of shared experiences in personal growth.
Actionable insights include the importance of maintaining a positive perspective, the power of will and love in fueling recovery, and the benefits of simplifying life to focus on what truly matters. The guest encourages listeners to embrace challenges, learn from setbacks, and continuously strive for personal improvement.
Overall, the episode conveys a message of resilience, the impact of community, and the profound effects of breathing and mindfulness on well-being.
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#2312 – Jeremy Renner Podcast Episode Transcript (Unedited)
Speaker: 0
00:01
Joe Rogan podcast. Check it out. The Joe Rogan experience. Showing my day Joe Rogan podcast by night, all day.
Speaker: 1
00:13
What’s happening, man? What’s what’s going on? It’s great to see you.
Speaker: 0
00:16
Yeah. Good to be seen.
Speaker: 1
00:19
Boy, what a journey you’ve been on.
Speaker: 0
00:20
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It’s been
Speaker: 1
00:22
Sai started listening to your audiobook. It was giving me anxiety.
Speaker: 0
00:26
It gets better. Right? It takes a minute, but it there’s there’s a relief for the reader.
Speaker: 1
00:32
Well, the relief is seeing you healthy
Speaker: 0
00:34
walking around. The relief is also we kinda know the end of the story Yes. Ai before you go into it.
Speaker: 1
00:39
Right.
Speaker: 0
00:40
So then you can really kinda dive into the actual detailed narrative that I I put out. Yeah. There’s no other way to do it. But, but, yeah, it’s it’s tough for a minute. It’s like, Ai was like, wow. My sister took her a while to read, and anybody that was ai involved in the incident takes a minute. You know?
Speaker: 0
00:56
It took took took me a long time to kinda get through it. Right? Yeah. It’s it’s anxious for me too.
Speaker: 1
01:02
So how long was the actual recovery? Because you don’t even walk with a limp.
Speaker: 0
01:07
Yeah. Yeah. It’s quite there’s there’s there’s a lot some things are pretty miraculous. Some things can be explained and something and I tried to figure it out as I was writing the book. You know? A lot of people ask questions. I ask myself questions. Some things, were on my own will. Some things were of otherworldly of some sort.
Speaker: 0
01:26
But, yeah, I was given you know, I was supposed to walk with a limp because pretty much a lot of ai, and then it was certainly not running, and I’m doing far beyond all those things. Don’t know exactly why. I can pontificate on ai. You know? What do you think of this?
Speaker: 0
01:43
I think Sai I think it’s will is will is a really special thing, and the the the love and fuel to to to fuel your will, I had in spades. I I can I feel Sai could pretty much do anything if I set my mind to it when it was my essential part of my ai, my recovery, was a twenty four hour day job?
Speaker: 0
02:06
When typically, I do many, many other things, right, as we all do in our lives, but when all my focus, like even parenting, was out the window until I can get better. So I had to do that first. So that being the central part of every thought, every fiber, every cell in my body was geared towards a one way street recovery. Well, I’m getting fucking better.
Speaker: 0
02:29
So I just got better, and there’s no what’s the alternative? Wow. You know? I was I was brought back somehow, someway, And it would be a disservice to not do all the things I’m supposed to be doing and wanna be doing. So it just took a lot of effort, and it looked a lot of support to heck dude.
Speaker: 0
02:50
I mean, there’s hundreds of people involved in helping me not die again. You know? But then it was but at the end of the day, the recovery is, you know, you’ve been everybody’s been injured in some sort of way. It’s it’s a it’s a lonely road. It’s your it’s only you.
Speaker: 0
03:06
No matter how much help you have or PT you have, if your your tendons go, whatever the heck happens, you still have to put in the work every day and endure the the pain and manage the pain and mitigate it. It’s it’s could be quite lonely, but I always found that the my my my my daughter and my family as Ai see their faces when I get better, I could stand up, let’s say, or not pee in a jar.
Speaker: 0
03:29
I could get in a wheelchair and go any sort of milestone, I’d see their faces get little bit less horrified, even relieved, even quite joyful even. So, as much damage as I did to my family and their their their hearts, me getting better can can relieve them of that burden. So it was a easy one way road to recover, and that’s why I recovered fast. And I I attribute it to my love for my family.
Speaker: 1
03:55
Wow. So let’s bring back to the day of the accident. What when exactly was it?
Speaker: 0
04:02
It was New Year’s Day.
Speaker: 1
04:04
New Year’s Day?
Speaker: 0
04:05
New Year’s Day two thousand twenty three. Yeah. And I host my family at my house up there, ai, 25 people every post Christmas to New Year’s all the time. Family, friends, whoever, just kinda come up and we can celebrate the the holidays together, go skiing, all these type of things.
Speaker: 0
04:21
But we had a big ai of snowmageddon type snow event that, you know, shut down the mountain that I live on at the top of, Lake Tahoe at about 8,000 feet elevation, and we got just tons and tons of snow. But it happens often, maybe not that intense of a store, but so much so where we were cut off from anywhere else, we’re snowed in ai.
Speaker: 0
04:42
I’m prepared for that stuff. Three days without power, prepared for it. It’s fine. We can have fun. It’s actually a relief. All the cell phones go off.
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04:51
All the iPads go away and computers, and everybody’s just playing card games with headlamps on. And, I mean, it’s a riot. So we had a a good time. You know, sai food supply was still good, but, you know, it’s, you know, it’s New Year’s Day, and we’re getting a break in the weather.
Speaker: 0
05:04
So I decided I need to to clear the roads and see come out for air, essentially. And, and in doing so, that’s when the the accident sort of transpired. It’s and it’s not it’s more of a routine type of thing to have a a half mile long driveway up there. And I have to maintain it myself, so I have a snow vatsal and a bunch of other snow removal type equipment.
Speaker: 0
05:22
There’s a bunch of vehicles, snowmobiles even, things that got stuck in the driveway because it it was a lot of extra snow, and it’s very some of it was very ai, and then it got very icy and hard. So you’re sinking down, like, three or four feet into it, and it’s a hot mess.
Speaker: 0
05:36
So had to try to dig all that stuff out using the snow cap, pulling this stuff out. This thing, a snow cap, to describe it in words is pretty difficult, but it’s like a tank. It’s probably, I don’t know, 12 feet wide, the tracks on each ai. So it so it spins like a tank, like a skid steer.
Speaker: 1
05:53
There it is.
Speaker: 0
05:54
Yeah. There we go. So that’s that’s that’s a small ai fraction of one. But, yeah, it’s something ai I gotta have Star Wars, you know. But this ai or metal track is more like that one right there.
Speaker: 1
06:04
Oh, that one like that.
Speaker: 0
06:05
That that’s it. That’s exactly ai the one I have. So it’s about, like, 16,000 pounds or sai. And it’s it’s very nimble on the snow on the snow.
Speaker: 1
06:15
Just to see it physically put it back up. To see it physically and to know that that’s what ran over your leg.
Speaker: 0
06:21
Oh, my whole body.
Speaker: 1
06:22
Oh, god.
Speaker: 0
06:23
Yeah. It was, sai you have to step on the tracks, you see, to get into the cab to operate it. So stepping on the tracks is is a normal thing to do. You just don’t do it while the things you’re operating it. Right? You run the thing, you drive it, and it’s just easy to thumb, go forward, reverse, and you’re neutral, and that’s it. It’s really easy to operate.
Speaker: 0
06:43
But it was just the the accident happened because you have to get in and out on the off on those tracks, and I hit the the thumb thing and, it threw me off and it was going towards my nephew. So I had to jump back on and try to stop it from killing him because it was gonna crush him between the truck and the and that big blade that I have.
Speaker: 0
07:01
But you see that thing?
Speaker: 1
07:01
Yeah.
Speaker: 0
07:02
It’s a few thousand pounds. That thing’s gnarly. But so my instinct was to jump back on and try to stop it. You know, obviously, it didn’t work out. And it got ai over and, there you go.
Speaker: 1
07:15
What how much of your body did it run over?
Speaker: 0
07:16
The entire all of it. Oh my god. Because I went if Ai the tracks were here to jump in the cab, I leap lept up and over to try to grab onto it and got sucked under the whole thing so the sai the so the whole length of it just kinda so there’s, like, a a set of wheels that turn these tracks, you sai.
Speaker: 0
07:34
And there’s, like, six wheels. So it so it undulates. So I felt all the undulate. The first one was the worst, like, the pressure and the skull crush and all that stuff, and then it releases because then the undulation of the tire and the the ram. And you’re awake for that. Just ai like, by the sixth undulation, just like, alright. Alright. Just kinda finished already, and you’re just like it it ai like you know?
Speaker: 0
07:56
You’re like you’re drowning and being struck by lightning and bleeding out. It’s all the things all at once, man. It’s like a immense pressure and immovable object, and, you know, my skull kinda lost out but still survived and, Your skull got run over. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker: 0
08:15
It’s like it looks like you know? Yeah. It’s everything. Ai like it’s thirty eight broken bones and eyeballs out.
Speaker: 1
08:22
Oh my god.
Speaker: 0
08:23
And it’s sai Shout
Speaker: 1
08:25
out to medical science.
Speaker: 0
08:26
I know. Right? I mean And, yeah, I mean, all the doctors were like, dude, I don’t know how your ai is still operating or still working, but I think because I was on ice because I did see ai. I’m like, well, maybe I’m gonna put this eye on ice and just kinda rolled into it. Because I sai my eye with my other eye. Right?
Speaker: 0
08:44
And I’m like, well, I’m gonna be able to keep that thing because I’m on, like, an icy asphalt driveway that’s off of my driveway, right, at the top of the road. So it wasn’t really great for impact to getting ram over. I wish I was on a snowpack. It could have been maybe a little bit easier.
Speaker: 0
08:58
It pushed me into snow. Right? But it wasn’t. So I just kinda rolled onto it just ai maybe I could kinda put the eye on ice until I could figure out how to breathe. Oh my god.
Speaker: 0
09:07
You know, I have to sort of laugh at it because it’s weird to sort of think about that. You know? Wow.
Speaker: 1
09:16
Sai 38 bones?
Speaker: 0
09:19
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Ai was like, there were a lot of ribs and all my my spiral fracture in my legs. All my joints were broken. All my my ankles, my glies, my none of my speak. And I only got a laceration of my liver ram, like, one of the ribs breaking in a couple speak, and it went down and just kinda stabbed it.
Speaker: 0
09:38
But it didn’t really mess it up too bad, so it that’s okay. But all my organs, my brain, I don’t think there’s any brain damage. I’ll use an excuse later, I guess. You know, yeah, and my speak. That that’s the miracle. It’s ai, how did I break fourteen ribs?
Speaker: 0
09:58
Right, and Sai cracked my skull and every arm and leg and finger and thing, but my spine was spared. Oh my god. And and all my organs were spared in my brain. Sai, like, it’s kinda almost no harm, no foul at the end of the day, even though there’s, you know, probably 20% titanium in my body at this point.
Speaker: 0
10:16
But
Speaker: 1
10:17
So how many pieces of titanium were in there?
Speaker: 0
10:20
Well, the the guy that invented this procedure worked at the hospital in Reno because there’s a lot of crushing injuries that happens to all the ski resorts and mines that are in the area. So I got really lucky to get this doctor. But it took four doctors to get to this ai. So so says my family. I was out in a coma.
Speaker: 0
10:38
And but they once they found this guy ai was on vacation, the mayor of Reno actually called him, said you gotta get back and help my friend out. And so he rushed out, and he’s just like, this is what he does for a living. He’s like, oh, this is easy. I can’t wait to do this for this guy. You know?
Speaker: 0
10:52
So it relieved on my family, but there was such such relief because they were like, oh, he’s gonna lose his eye. We’re gonna cut off his leg. I mean, all this kind of tragic sort of prognosis, whatever you sana call it. Right? So this guy comes in. No. No. It’s fine.
Speaker: 0
11:03
We’re gonna hammer this thing in. We’re gonna do this. We’re do his face plate and do the thing. We’re gonna do this. And just lucky that the orbital bone that broke and the cheekbone that broke, they only wanted to do that because, because my face as as an actor maybe wanna save my cheekbone, I guess.
Speaker: 0
11:19
I not that I cared about it, but, but, yeah, he fixed up my my all my ribs, and they used, ai, like, this mesh and this he has a sort of weird way to kinda handle if you’d fix one or two of the ribs that are all broken, the rest will ai fall into place. The bone the body’s pretty miraculous. Just give it a little direction, and then it heals on itself and it’ll grow the bone.
Speaker: 0
11:40
So, it’s not as much titanium in my ribs as one might think for all those breaks. It’s only you know, I mean, it’s it’s it looks like rebar. Right? You get a sai, like, my you know, a lot of my body’s like Do
Speaker: 1
11:53
you have a an x-ray of
Speaker: 0
11:54
your Yeah. Somewhere. Yeah. Yeah. Somewhere.
Speaker: 1
11:56
Is it online anywhere where we could see it?
Speaker: 0
11:59
I don’t know. Do you have
Speaker: 1
11:59
it on your phone
Speaker: 0
12:00
or anything? I don’t think so. I could I could ask my sister for it.
Speaker: 1
12:03
She’s not showing everybody that thing.
Speaker: 0
12:07
It’s it’s it’s pretty it’s pretty, remedial looking. You know? It looks like, you know, like Sai had a hammer and a two by four and some nails, and that’s what this looks like. It looks it’s very like is it why is there a nail and two screws and, you know, it’s, it’s carpentry one zero one. You know?
Speaker: 0
12:25
There’s nothing ai, you know I think the guy that because I had, like, screws in my skull and my my jaw because that broke in three spots. And the the guy took it out with the it’s something that he got from Home Depot. Literally, it’s like a some you know, just he just took it out.
Speaker: 0
12:40
I’m like, dude, it’s squeaking like it’s in wood. You you numb it or something? I always knock this guy out.
Speaker: 1
12:49
It’s just
Speaker: 0
12:49
like, freak. Freak. It was unbelievable. Unbelievable. And I was always I was always kinda half in the the bag mentally just kind of because it takes so much meh, to deal with, like, pain management, and, it’s emotionally exhausting to deal with, like, so many different things in your body.
Speaker: 0
13:13
So I’m always kinda half paying attention to things. You know? My it’s I’m much sharper mentally now because I don’t have to mitigate so much inflammation, pain, and all that all the time. So I can kinda be here and laugh with you. But back then, when this guy was I I almost speak this guy sai hard to.
Speaker: 0
13:32
But, yeah, glad that was I was really happy to, that was a great milestone for me to get these screws out of my scope. Jesus. But, that was, that was worse than getting run over by the snow cat, dude. Really? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker: 1
13:48
In terms of pain or just discomfort?
Speaker: 0
13:50
No. It it wasn’t so much the pain. It’s the haunting images of feeling my gums wrap around the screw as he’s and he’s pulling out. It’s a lot longer than I thought it was, and then there’s three more to go. It was more the the visual is, in my mind, kinda what makes it terrible. You know, the visual because I’m a pretty visual ai.
Speaker: 0
14:15
So I don’t think anything, hurts me so much in a physical way, but the visual is a pretty haunting image. And the sounds, dude, it vibrates your skull as he’s taking it out. Ugh. And it’s like, ugh. This is what horror films are made of. Right?
Speaker: 0
14:34
It’s like Sai or something.
Speaker: 1
14:35
Is that the only thing that they had to take out, is the screws that were in your head, or did they take them out of your body?
Speaker: 0
14:41
No. No. They have to leave those in for the most part because why risk infection and open you up to for something? But, yeah. So all that all the rest of the stuff stays in until those screws come loose. At some point, they they will. They start backing out. Right? Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker: 0
14:58
You think you’d put in a locking screw? Right?
Speaker: 1
15:01
I’ve had friends that have had broken arms and starts poking
Speaker: 0
15:04
out of the body. Yeah. It’s just doing now.
Speaker: 1
15:06
Meh another operation and get it removed. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Sai how many different plates do you have?
Speaker: 0
15:14
I I think I got it’s only a couple of my face, and they went in, like, underneath my speak, the plate for my, orbital socket and then for the cheekbone. They put, I think, a plate or two over there to hold that bone in place.
Speaker: 1
15:27
Do you feel
Speaker: 0
15:27
it? I I feel the the lack of, feeling in it. It’s still still numbness to that this whole side because they had to cut all these nerve endings, right, to get in through your mouth. So even the side of my face is a little slightly little little little numb ish.
Speaker: 1
15:50
And the rest of them, do you feel like, how much do you feel in all your different bones and joints and all the different things that got repaired?
Speaker: 0
15:59
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It’s it’s there’s lots of scar tissue to work through all the time. It’s what’s great is, like, it’s not any one spot. It’s ai it it moves around. You know, even if you’re not injured, it’s like if you just twist your leg wrong and then it it goes up into your hip and then it’s in your shoulder.
Speaker: 0
16:15
It moves around. Your body kind of it moves it around. So you just ai stay on top of it, and there’s always something to to work through, you know, in your body. You know? And it’s just yeah. Look.
Speaker: 0
16:25
I already have to do it anyway. I’m 54. I’m gonna Ai gonna have to take take care of my ai, and I just have to make it a very central part of my life. So
Speaker: 1
16:32
And so now do you have full range of motion, full mobility, everything is back to normal?
Speaker: 0
16:38
Yeah. I don’t know what normal is. Yeah. You know? I’m gonna be you know, I I feel like I’m maybe a 10% just because spiritually, mentally, I’m so much better. I got so many gifts from dying and coming back that, yeah, I’m I’m a 50%. My body will always be look. My body’s aging, so I have to fight against age. Well, recovery is age reversing. It’s the same same stuff that people are doing just to reverse age.
Speaker: 0
17:07
I just do it just because it’s my recovery, and I have to for the rest of my life just to prevent inflammation and discomfort and swelling, things like that.
Speaker: 1
17:16
So when you have so many broken bones and so many broken joints, what is the recovery like? Like, how did they even get you moving again?
Speaker: 0
17:25
Day by day. Day by day. Yeah. Instantly, as soon as I got home from the hospital, yeah. PT there and working to just move keep things moving. You have to. Otherwise, you lose it. You’ll lose it. Lock up or you lose it.
Speaker: 1
17:41
You walk around today in the studio, I would have no idea. Yeah. You look totally normal.
Speaker: 0
17:46
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It’s great. It’s it’s takes a lot of work, and it’s still working. Ai, I was just having to stretch in your studio. You know? I have to have to move quite a bit sai I don’t lock up. After after a good night speak, it’s like, it could be a little stiff in the morning, and I have to do some stretches and things like that.
Speaker: 0
18:04
But I think if I didn’t get in the accident in ’54, I’d probably have to do it anyway. Right. So feels good to have to be to force the stretching, I think. AG one has been
Speaker: 1
18:16
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18:36
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18:53
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19:13
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Speaker: 1
19:36
How long does it take before you can sit up?
Speaker: 0
19:40
I don’t know. Ai don’t know. It’s pretty it moved pretty quick. The the the randomly with the punctured lung and all this broke, the shoulder, the collarbone dislocation, all this stuff, that healed pretty quickly. But that doesn’t require gravity and, force on your legs, ai, your legs have to take. Right? So those that took a little bit longer. The legs, both ankles. Right?
Speaker: 0
20:03
That’s those arya under trauma and and plates in those. You know, this is all a ai. Essentially, ai used to rebar my my whole lower leg. So that took a little bit longer, but the the ribs, ironically, it was only painful for, I I feel like, a couple weeks. I also had these, like, plastic suitcases for my lungs because they had to let it bleed out and this stuff was going in.
Speaker: 0
20:24
I don’t know what goop was in that thing, but I had to carry those things around for a while. Once I got rid of those, I was kinda sitting up a bit more, and, I felt good once I was kinda sitting up. But there’s still, as you can imagine, so much ram, so many places, but I think the longest it was was really getting up to to stand up, to walk, to get all your joints to work properly again, to relearn to walk, relearn to move because you really kinda have to.
Speaker: 0
20:52
A lot of atrophy, as you can imagine, that happens. But I was standing up, and moving around. I got into a chair probably, you know, by the by February after, like, three weeks. Wow. And, the more I can move, the faster you heal, you’re getting more blood flow, you’re getting you’re getting your body to work better, help with my my attitude, and will to get out and sit up.
Speaker: 0
21:17
You know, all the things. Each of these things are ai milestones, and I would just ai, yeah, and then move forward to the next thing and set a goal for myself even if it was just ai to sit up and, like, turn or Ai I didn’t I’d have to set such big to reach too far to keep my confidence high.
Speaker: 0
21:32
So because I keep reaching these goals and just kept going and going and going, and Ai I find myself again, it’s twenty four hours a day. So Right. What do I have to do today? Well, I don’t even have to ask. I just sana get better. And, you know, it just kept going.
Speaker: 0
21:44
And with whatever thing and there’s so many things to attack to get better. It’s ai Sai never got bored. I always had all these bands and stuff. I was in I remember being in a wheelchair, and I’d wrap it around, like, this desk, and I’d be in a is it ai a leg press? You know?
Speaker: 0
21:57
All these, like, interesting ways just, like, to try to strengthen my my my body and get better. Whatever wasn’t you know, anything that would work, I would do it. Wow. I’d say no to nothing. Say yes to everything, and let’s try it. Let’s do it. Took took in everything. Took in everything.
Speaker: 1
22:14
You know, they say that is one of the more difficult things with stroke victims is the will to do the exercises to force yourself to recover. Yeah. Because so many people just they they have never done that before. They’ve never pushed themselves before. They don’t and they there’s this tendency to just kinda give up.
Speaker: 1
22:35
Some people have.
Speaker: 0
22:36
Yeah. Yeah. It’s it’s part of the reason why I wrote the book because maybe people because it’s a lonely place when where people are struggling in in recovery and when it’s a lifetime recovery too. You know? I hope they can find something they can grab on to. Like, if this guy can get overcome this, I can get out of my own way here and maybe not maybe think of it a little differently.
Speaker: 0
22:57
The only thing we have control of ever in life in perpetuity is our perspective. So, you know, what’s my I could easily just go be victimized and, you know, cry about it and, like, oh, my career is over and that. I mean, it’s not it’s not even part of the narrative. It’s part of it’s not even in the conversation.
Speaker: 0
23:14
It’s ai I’m getting better every day for the rest of my life. That’s it. Wow. There’s only one way to go. What’s the alternative, Joe? Right?
Speaker: 0
23:22
When it is the alternative, I kept I kept saying that to my what’s the alternative? I’m not gonna stumble around through life.
Speaker: 1
23:28
Right.
Speaker: 0
23:28
I wasn’t brought back here just just to suffer. That’s not happening. I’d say unplug the machine. I’m done. I’m out of here. It’s way better than being dead. You know what I mean? I’m not gonna come back and and and just waddle my and limp my way through life. It’s not gonna happen.
Speaker: 1
23:42
What’s crazy is you if you didn’t approach it like that, you probably wouldn’t be able to walk.
Speaker: 0
23:47
Correct. Correct.
Speaker: 1
23:48
Yeah. Because there have been a lot of people that have been gravely injured that never come back.
Speaker: 0
23:52
Yeah. Yeah. You have to push it. Right? Anything that’s in your life for excellence, you have to obsess at it and risk everything for it. You have to, or or it’s not gonna happen. No one’s gonna do it for you. But what else are you gonna do? Yeah. You know what I mean?
Speaker: 0
24:09
Again, like I said, what’s the alternative? Yeah. This sucks, but, like, so does a cold plunge, and so does this, and so does that, and so does that. Right. Ai gotta really test we gotta test our bodies, our limits to really have real growth, and especially in recovery. You have to what else you gonna do, man?
Speaker: 0
24:24
You’re gonna take pills?
Speaker: 1
24:25
Right.
Speaker: 0
24:26
That was one again, one of the harder things worse than the accident as well is getting off OxyContin. And And I got off pretty quickly, and, like, that’s gnarly stuff, man. I’m glad it’s it was there for, you know, the pain for me, but, like, I wanted to get off it as soon as possible.
Speaker: 0
24:41
So because it’s highly highly addictive. And coming off that stuff was gnarly.
Speaker: 1
24:45
It’s so hard, and you have a really strong will, and some people don’t. I know. And they put all people on that stuff.
Speaker: 0
24:52
That’s crazy, dude. Yeah. It’s really ironically, I was supposed to be doing a a, a movie about the the Sackler family. Wow. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That but it was supposed to happen, like, literally that that April or just that that spring. Obviously, that got canceled because I had to take OxyContin to kinda get ai, but now I had to get off that stuff real quick. You know?
Speaker: 0
25:18
It was really interesting to help people treated that drug. You know? Everyone, like, was monitoring, counting the pills. It was a half a thing or this or that. We like, everyone was on it. Like, dude, what? You treat me like some some sort of drug ai. Don’t give me this stuff. I don’t want it. Jesus Christ.
Speaker: 0
25:32
It’s terrible. Wow. But it’s a pretty powerful, powerful stuff. And I don’t I don’t ever blame sort of the drug. I just think sort of how maybe it’s it’s free to use and it’s it’s even supported in school systems and, you know, they got that that family kinda got away with a lot of stuff to promote that
Speaker: 1
25:49
stuff. Ai.
Speaker: 0
25:50
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It’s a whole another
Speaker: 1
25:52
You’ve seen Peter Berg’s, thing on Netflix, Painkiller? Have you seen that? It’s sai docudrama meh
Speaker: 0
25:59
Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker: 1
26:01
Yeah. Matthew Brodure.
Speaker: 0
26:02
Yep. Yep. It’s gnarly, man. Gnarly. Gnarly.
Speaker: 1
26:05
Yeah. That that’s an evil family. Yeah. What what they did to people and and just support the idea that, you know, hey, this you could just be on this and you don’t have any pain. Don’t worry about it. And it’s not even addictive. Yeah. Just Yeah.
Speaker: 0
26:18
It’s the knowing it’s the knowing part and then Yeah. Bryden double downing and selling, getting getting it really getting out there.
Speaker: 1
26:24
Ai just Ram promoting it
Speaker: 0
26:25
is a thing that
Speaker: 1
26:26
you could be on forever
Speaker: 0
26:28
Yeah.
Speaker: 1
26:28
Which is just insane. Yeah. So you’re on it, and how long did you have to be on it for? I
Speaker: 0
26:36
again, always working to to get off of it. And I think maybe it was around if I got home on January 13, Friday the thirteenth, and I think it was probably less than a month, probably, like, February because I had all my molars and stuff got pushed in. So my mouth’s a hot mess. My jaw’s broken. And but I’d have night terrors as you would, being awake through that trauma.
Speaker: 0
27:06
So and I bit down and the tooth is in just in a certain spot and just cracked my tyler, and and it goes down to the nerve and that Ai like, oh, I feel that pain. But I’m on all this OxyContin. I don’t feel maybe I don’t need to be on that shit. So I had to go get that emergency extraction and get a post put in and on my back mower.
Speaker: 0
27:26
And Ai said, well, I’m I’m gonna I’ll take it one more time just for the tooth pain or whatever even what the dentist gave me. I think I took the dentist stuff, whatever that was, and cold turkey off OxyContin and gabapentin.
Speaker: 1
27:40
Oh, cold turkey.
Speaker: 0
27:41
Yeah. I didn’t know. You didn’t know how hard it would be? Oh, no. I would just so adamant in the day now. I don’t really listen to the doctors. I don’t listen to the doctors now. You know, so yeah. So I started crying, for about three and a half days straight. Wow. Even during my PT, I’m just like not that even sad, but, like, full crocodile tears, just tears. Tears. Wow. Twenty four hours a day. Right?
Speaker: 1
28:09
Just
Speaker: 0
28:09
going. I couldn’t stop crying, and I was shivering. So this is all just withdrawal? Withdrawal. Yeah. I wasn’t thinking that anything other than, like, why am I crying? I would I didn’t know it was withdrawal. Even because my mind’s not there. I’m in my mind’s in recovery and getting off this stuff and focusing on holding my body up.
Speaker: 0
28:31
It it takes just a lot of mental acuity to to just exist. Right? So I wasn’t thinking that, yeah, of course. I look back on it. I was like, yeah, of course. I’m coming off the fucking heroin this night. Right. Sai yeah.
Speaker: 0
28:43
And then and ai I I I called my sister and then I’m like, I don’t know why I’m crying. I can’t stop crying. She was let’s call it have these different doctors that we’d Zoom call with when I was at home. And so we called the the the pain management doctors. He’s like, look. Is he I told him. He’s like, what are you doing? You gotta taper off that. Like, ai takes, like, two weeks at least.
Speaker: 0
29:01
You can’t just cold turkey. Meh no wonder you’re feeling all cold and all this stuff because that’s all nerve stuff. So I arya feeling gravity. I started feeling temperature. I started feeling everything. It sai, like, on fire. Right?
Speaker: 0
29:15
So, ai did
Speaker: 1
29:17
you make the decision to go cold turkey?
Speaker: 0
29:18
Because I didn’t want I didn’t I don’t like the feeling of being on pain meds. I don’t like you know, I want to have my mind. I mean, I was always using, like, humor to find my sobriety. If I could land a joke, it means I’m reading the room and Ai hitting the timing right to die, whatever it is. You know? Right?
Speaker: 0
29:34
So I I wanted my I needed my mind, and I needed my wit. I needed my will to to recover. Ai needed sleep, and I needed my brain. And the drugs kinda numb my brain as they would, right, as they numb your whole body. So I just want it off of them, and I don’t like how I feel. You feel muddy. Yeah. And I just didn’t like the feeling.
Speaker: 0
29:55
So, you know, it came with a price, but I got the okay to, like, take a little fiber of oxy to to sleep on if you needed to mitigate some pain just so I could sleep. I’m like, okay. Maybe I’ll do that if it happens. And I did once or twice or three times maybe after that moment, but I got through it.
Speaker: 0
30:12
And I got off it. But I got off it because I cracked that tooth, and that Ai felt pain. Like, that is like, that’s not gonna let me sleep at all. It’s a heartbeat in my brain. My face is just, like, throbbing, right, as you would for anybody.
Speaker: 0
30:26
So I said, like, oh, that’s then I don’t need to take the pain meds. So, like, that was my excuse to get off the pain meds. Right.
Speaker: 1
30:31
Because you’re feeling pain and you’re on the pain meds.
Speaker: 0
30:33
Yeah. I would have been on that shit much longer if I didn’t crack that tooth. Wow. Because I wouldn’t have the will or say, like, oh, let’s get off this stuff.
Speaker: 1
30:41
Yeah.
Speaker: 0
30:42
Right? But it took that. I’m ai, okay. Well, I don’t need it.
Speaker: 1
30:45
I had knee surgery in ’93, and they gave me something. I don’t it was either Percocet or Vicodin. I don’t know what it was, and I took it one time. Ai I felt so bad. Yeah. I felt so stupid.
Speaker: 0
30:58
Yeah.
Speaker: 1
30:58
I remember being in my apartment in New York just feeling so dumb and just thinking Ai rather be in pain.
Speaker: 0
31:03
Yeah.
Speaker: 1
31:04
And so one day, I took it one day, and I’m like, that’s it. I’m done. Yeah. And then I sold it. I sold ai, my pills to this ai, Jeff, at the pool hall.
Speaker: 0
31:13
That’s a dirtbag.
Speaker: 1
31:14
It was this dirtbag guy that I used to hang out with at the pool hall. He had a bryden and long hair. He was a hippie. He always sold drugs and I sold them to him.
Speaker: 0
31:25
He’s like, I’ll take it. What do you got? Yeah. What do you got?
Speaker: 1
31:27
And, then I had surgery again. I’ve had a bunch of different surgeries for jiu jitsu injuries, martial arts injuries, but second time Sai had surgery on my knee, Sai had a knee reconstruction again on my other knee in 02/2003. Ai didn’t dig anything. I’m just Ai just like, I don’t want nothing. I’m just gonna just deal with it, and it was okay.
Speaker: 0
31:49
Yeah. Maybe anti inflammatory or something, and it’s it’s really what it
Speaker: 1
31:52
I didn’t even take that stuff because I don’t think that’s good for you either. Yeah. Yeah. You know, I mean, it’s you’re gonna be in pain no matter what. It’s just gonna dull it a little bit. I’d rather feel it all
Speaker: 0
32:04
I agree. Ai agree.
Speaker: 1
32:05
Get accustomed to ai.
Speaker: 0
32:07
Deal with it. Yeah. That was, like, back when I even when I had my, wisdom teeth pulled out when I was, like, 20 or something. You know, that’s pretty gnarly surgery. Right? And they give you, like, it was a codeine or something. You know? I just puked on that and sai, no way.
Speaker: 0
32:21
Took one pill, and I never took didn’t sell it to anybody.
Speaker: 1
32:24
Isn’t it astonishing that some people like it?
Speaker: 0
32:26
Yeah. It’s people party on it. They’ll go drinking, like, two Vicodons. Ai I just it’s just the opposite for me. I just can’t. It’s just meh body doesn’t agree with it.
Speaker: 1
32:34
Yeah.
Speaker: 0
32:35
I just, and I’m glad Sai don’t I don’t like it. I had
Speaker: 1
32:39
a friend of mine who’s a musician, and he would write all his music on on Ai. I was ai, what? How do you do that, man? Like, I took it whatever it was ai I took, I can’t remember which one it was. But Ai felt like a moron. I just felt like I had, like, 20% of my brain. Yeah. Yeah. And it was just this dull, like, wet cotton stuffed in my head. Yeah.
Speaker: 1
33:01
But, I mean, I guess, maybe it’s just, like, different biology. Maybe different people react to it differently.
Speaker: 0
33:07
For sure.
Speaker: 1
33:08
Yeah. It wasn’t for me.
Speaker: 0
33:09
Yeah. I agree.
Speaker: 1
33:11
So how long did it take for the withdrawal to subside?
Speaker: 0
33:15
By the time I got to the, the the Zoom with the the the pain management doctor, He he said, like, well, don’t do that. You should tape her off. Like, well, I’m already off it now. I’m like, Ai come off the the the crying train, especially because he also made sense of it for me.
Speaker: 0
33:34
He’s like so I was coming it’s like it’s like day four by the time I talked to him, and, it just helped me make sense of, like, why I was feeling the way I was feeling because it it felt like a setback. Right. You know? And because there are setbacks in recovery, but this felt like a real setback.
Speaker: 0
33:50
Like, I ai I I couldn’t grab of why and I’m pretty in tune with, like, my body and my emotions and my everything. And I just couldn’t grab why I was when it’s so obvious. Yeah. But then, you know, I don’t I’m not the one really administering this stuff. My mom just give me the pill and doing peptide injections for me and, you know, rebirthing meh, you know, taking care of me.
Speaker: 1
34:14
Sai What peptides were you on?
Speaker: 0
34:16
Oh, man. If I look back, I don’t know. I was getting three three, Meh. There’s three loads, and they were all mixed up. So as you would, probably state a lot of the same ones that I’m on now that I continue, and I rotate in and out of different ones. BPC one by seven. Five hundred. Dimitrythamycin. Yeah. All those. Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker: 0
34:35
AOD and MODC sana, I had to do a lot of blood work because got ai hemoglobin was at two. Woah. Yeah. That was what it was going back to work. Woah. Back to mayor Kingstown. Crazy. Yeah. It’s like the blood of a dead meh, essentially. I just got no energy.
Speaker: 0
34:52
So then I started really working with, ai blood panels, big ai wide 16 vial blood panels. And that started to be my new course of recovery of the cellular way, in a blood way. And that’s ai I really arya to get strong. I was moving around. I was mobile. All the bones are healed. By this time, it’s like a year’s gone ai.
Speaker: 0
35:16
But now I started working on cellular and blood health, and that’s when I that’s when I got to, like, my skin started to look great and, you know, because your blood is tells you what your body’s producing and not producing. Right? So that was a great report card, a barometer of where I was at, why I’m not you know, where my mitochondrial levels are at, anything was at.
Speaker: 0
35:36
So, it was really, really great part of my recovery, and that’s what I was continuing and still continue to do today.
Speaker: 1
35:42
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37:05
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Speaker: 1
37:13
Did you use a hyperbaric chamber?
Speaker: 0
37:15
Oh, yeah. Yeah.
Speaker: 1
37:15
That that help must have helped
Speaker: 0
37:17
a lot. Yeah. What it did for meh, it’s not something I don’t think there’s many things in my recovery that you do that feel good. It just doesn’t make you feel shitty.
Speaker: 1
37:25
Right. You know? Right? It’s like you’re building a mountain one layer of pain at a time.
Speaker: 0
37:31
Yeah. Sai but hyperbaric is great. It’s it helps with lactic acid when you’re working out. As you know, it’s all the oxygen you you put in your body is is a great necessity. It’s, again, those things that are even age reversing. It’s it’s kind of also a disease preventative.
Speaker: 1
37:45
Right.
Speaker: 0
37:45
It’s amazing this thing. And it’s Sai got one that was, you could sit in and do multiple things. I ai not just I can’t just sit there for an hour and a half in in the chamber and, like, I’ll go crazy. I have a busy brain, you know. And, so I get a computer or whatever, email, whatever I can do is to kinda continue to do it, to make it a part of my life.
Speaker: 1
38:04
Oh, that’s cool.
Speaker: 0
38:05
Yeah. And then I go into, like, a a red light bed, a high powered red light infrared bed, then it moves all that oxygen through my body even more so and gets deeper into the tissue. Amazing.
Speaker: 1
38:14
Yeah. I use both of those things.
Speaker: 0
38:16
Yeah. Those are just parts of my life.
Speaker: 1
38:17
Yeah. But I would imagine for something like what you went through, it’s imperative.
Speaker: 0
38:22
Yeah. Yeah. For tissue recovery and oh, man. Huge, huge, huge. Faster for repair. And so from so a year later, you’re walking around. Yeah. Fully ai I was walking by my daughter’s birthday was March 28. Sai, I guess, a few months later, I was walking, but they’re assisted. Very assisted speak walking with cane or a walker.
Speaker: 1
38:45
Sai that had to be amazing.
Speaker: 0
38:47
Yeah. Yeah. And then I was like, by the summertime, I stopped doing recovery, the intense twenty four hour day recovery. I would do, like, a twelve hour day recovery and then go walk in the sand in Lake Tahoe. Lake Tahoe is the world’s biggest cold plunge. It’s a freezing ass lake, so I just go dip my legs in that lake, walk in the sand.
Speaker: 0
39:06
It’s great for instability in your ankles, your joints, your hips, and I would just do that kind of stuff. Even ride a jet ski. I was running a jet ski in June. Wow. Yeah. Taking it easy and not doing anything ai, but just like, you know, just getting just living life.
Speaker: 1
39:19
Right. You know
Speaker: 0
39:19
how good that is for your mental acuity, your your spirit, your emotional body, and all that stuff. So I was out in the sunshine getting vitamin d. I was in, you know, nature. I was with friends. I could do life stuff. Like, I’m I’m back in life stuff. You know? Now that’s a great confidence builder.
Speaker: 1
39:36
Yeah. So
Speaker: 0
39:36
I kept trying to do those things. And then, of course, I have to go back into all the recovery stuff and, you know, that I always do, but I sai happy I can do it.
Speaker: 1
39:45
What does the cold water feel like with, like I mean, you have a rod through your your tibia.
Speaker: 0
39:52
Yeah. The cold water is it’s that’s not the issue. It’s when it’s cold weather. Yeah. Ai anybody, it’s is your it you’re stiffer. Your your blood slows and all that stuff. So it doesn’t help us. I need circulation in my joints. Tendons don’t get a lot of blood flow. I really gotta work at getting blood flow in these joints. Otherwise, they’ll stiffen. And it I’m just slower going. It’s everything just feels a little bit more robotic.
Speaker: 0
40:17
What did they ai to do? And and before injury, it’s that for anybody. Right? Also, elevation. I mean, 8,000 feet elevation in Tahoe.
Speaker: 0
40:23
So all these things aren’t really kinda helping to my recovery, but my body will respond in those oxygen depleted environments and all that stuff. So maybe it did help, maybe it didn’t. I don’t know. But I did most of my initial recovery in LA. And then when I could, I got out to Tahoe to be in my sort of happy place in in nature.
Speaker: 1
40:42
Did they have to reconstruct your knees? Did you
Speaker: 0
40:45
No. No. None of that. They they they sai there’s cracks in my ankles, and ai foot spun around a handful of times. There’s a spiral fracture ram my my leg. So they had to hit a rod down into my knee, and they had to screw it screw it, you know, with plates and all that stuff.
Speaker: 0
41:02
So I didn’t sure I just moved those things. So I don’t know. There’s not wasn’t full, like, reconstruction. Like, people get a new knee or a new hip. It was just a lot of breaks. My pelvic broke bryden three speak, my hips, and, oh, you know, but you don’t fix that.
Speaker: 0
41:15
Even even sai you broke your asshole. I’m like, that is that what you say as a doctor? Is that how you say it? Come
Speaker: 1
41:24
on. That’s hilarious.
Speaker: 0
41:26
I think there’s another word for it. Ai think he was trying to make me laugh, and I did. And Ram makes you laugh. It’s like you broke everything, Jeremy. You even broke your ass. I’m like, alright. That’s good.
Speaker: 1
41:42
Wow. And so what so you you’ve gone through the twelve hour now you’re in, like, this twelve hour day. Yeah.
Speaker: 0
41:51
Ai, like, summer summertime. Yeah. So I gotta do, like, just life stuff. And that was that was that was really my first shot at allowing myself to think that there’s a future, and I’m not gonna live a life of full time recovery for the rest of my life. So, oh, I can actually go do it some other things that I enjoy doing with people in a kind of a normal way.
Speaker: 0
42:15
So I was without a cane, without anything ai the time by June and summer came around. So I’m I’m moving around with with, you know, inflammation and getting downstairs very saloni, but as you would, like, as long as you’re patient, as I was, as aggressive I was with my recovery, I allowed patients to also live within vatsal aggressive attack on each joint or each inflammation or wherever it was.
Speaker: 0
42:38
I do allow patients. And because I allow myself to push hard, hard, hard, hard. I ai to my body. Body says fuck off. I’m like, alright.
Speaker: 0
42:47
I’ll chill out for a second and then, you know, keep going. So but I was I gotta live life and and that was so so rewarding to my spirit and my my my confidence, which, you know, you need and that and that kind of those kind of dire times and and I keep going. And then, like I said, when we got to back getting back to work because I got so ready.
Speaker: 0
43:07
Maybe I’m down to, like, four hours a day of recovery by the end of that first year. I’m like, I’m gonna go back to work. I need to get back out into the world and use life as as my recovery and still only spend four hours a day on hyperbaric chamber, red light, whatever the heck I could do to I mix it all up.
Speaker: 0
43:26
It’s a bunch of different stuff. A lot of heat, a lot of vibration, power plate stuff. That was really great for numbing the the nerve endings, my back of my knees, back of my, ankles, that kind of stuff. I don’t know if you ever used that stuff for
Speaker: 1
43:39
No. Like, what are you what are you doing? I used to have this thing. Ai. What’s it called? It was a thing you stand on it. It’s ai it would shake you Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Ai. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It’s like and it would slow it down. Yeah. It would make it fast. Yep.
Speaker: 1
43:52
And
Speaker: 0
43:52
It’s like that. Yeah. Yeah. And that really was great for numbing, like, the back of my knees that really still ache in back of my ankles just sai it’s not quite so sensitive. Mhmm. I don’t know if it floods the the nerve endings with blood or whatever the heck it does, but it just kinda numbs it out.
Speaker: 0
44:07
And then I can go to sleep on it. It’s great.
Speaker: 1
44:08
It’s beautiful. I used to have one of those at my house in LA. I don’t even remember what it’s called now. It was just some machine. It had a bunch of different programs.
Speaker: 0
44:16
Yeah. Yeah. It’s Power Plate. It’s probably a Power Plate.
Speaker: 1
44:18
Well, Power Plate, I think, is the one that you work out on. You can. Yeah. Yeah. This one was a little different. This one was just would just shake you at a bunch of different frequencies. Oh, interesting. You would stand on it, and it was supposed to just do a bunch of stuff for your your hormones and endocrine system and all sorts of different stuff just by the vibration.
Speaker: 0
44:40
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It helps me a lot. Interesting.
Speaker: 1
44:43
For sure. And, are you doing sauna and stuff like that
Speaker: 0
44:48
as well? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Ai use I usually use just the red light bed, like, you speak, like but it’s it’s shaped like a like like a coffin or a
Speaker: 1
44:56
Yeah.
Speaker: 0
44:56
Like a Channing bed one. Mhmm. No. No. It’s just as effective, I think, as, you’re going to the sauna. Ai just doesn’t take so long to heat up or anything. Just getting that thing and cook. It’s amazing. And you it’s amazing that even, like, a LED light like that or infrared light could could warm me up so much, but it’s intense. I love it.
Speaker: 0
45:13
And then
Speaker: 1
45:14
after a while, do you start lifting weights?
Speaker: 0
45:16
Yeah. Yeah. I started I started training, as soon as I got the when I tested doing blood work because my hormone my my testosterone was at 200. My hemoglobin was at two. Like, everything was
Speaker: 1
45:27
Your body’s just wrecked.
Speaker: 0
45:28
Oh, it’s wrecked. And I’m going back to work. So I had to attack ai I was falling asleep during workouts that I’m trying to do or whatever. I’m trying they they only scheduled meh maybe six hours a day on set because, you know, I fall asleep in the middle of a scene.
Speaker: 1
45:44
Oh my god.
Speaker: 0
45:44
They’re like, who’s gonna wake that fucker up? Oh, man. So yeah. So I had to really work on that. And once I got got what it’s ai I think it’s really the testosterone. Once I got that level to, like, 700, eight hundred constantly, then I had more energy. Mhmm. And that allowed me more energy in the gym. And once I had that, that got me more energy. That sai Ai just started feeding upon itself.
Speaker: 0
46:06
I was doing blood blood panels every speak, And, I just saw progress, progress, progress, and then I just started lifting, and I had so much energy, and I felt better the more I lifted and moved and stretched. And it just meh it just kept compiling just like most things in life, and it got easier ai most things.
Speaker: 0
46:23
With oxygen chamber, that’s better when you can pile on it. Same with red light stuff. Not not no one time that anything’s gonna do anything. But if you do it often enough and make it a central part of your life, it’s like, oh, that was on fire. It’s great.
Speaker: 0
46:36
Sai started running and You can run now.
Speaker: 1
46:38
Yeah. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. For distance?
Speaker: 0
46:41
Yeah. I mean, I don’t know how where I’m running to. Sai was never a distance guy. I was always a sprinter. Right? I was a sprinter from high school and college and, yeah. So Does it hurt when you run? It it feels like if you’re if you have it, you know, if you’ve ever been in a car, you know, on the freeway and has a misalignment or or it’s too shaky Yeah.
Speaker: 0
47:03
You know, or you got a flat ai. It feels like I got four flat tires when I’m running. It looks great. It looks like, oh, this guy has no problem with this guy. Just boop, boop, boop, boop, and it feels like the wheels are gonna fall off. Wow.
Speaker: 0
47:14
Mentally or something. It just it just feels like it’s because it’s like it’s it’s it’s, it’s a lot of pressure to put on all these joints. Right? I haven’t sprinted really much in a while. I haven’t really worked on that. I’ve been working on other things, you know, blood and cells and that kind of stuff.
Speaker: 0
47:33
So, I mean, sprinting is not you know, what am I doing? What am I gonna do? Sprint? 54, for god’s sakes. You know?
Speaker: 0
47:41
Maybe, like, for you know, like, because because you do stunts in movies and maybe at some point I’ll have to sprint. I don’t know. Or maybe not. Maybe just don’t do
Speaker: 1
47:49
that shit. You know? Yeah. Well, maybe you can, though. I mean Sure.
Speaker: 0
47:54
I can.
Speaker: 1
47:54
Sai think you can.
Speaker: 0
47:55
I already have. I have to leave it. I just don’t know if I wanna make that a central part of, you know, the acting experience. Maybe I I,
Speaker: 1
48:02
Well, that would be an absolutely phenomenal turnaround to go from where you were to going back to action films.
Speaker: 0
48:09
Yeah. Yeah. To go play Hawkeye or something.
Speaker: 1
48:10
Yeah. That’s what I’m saying.
Speaker: 0
48:11
Yeah. It’d be it’d be a good test. Identity. Yeah. That’s that’s tough. That would be a tough one. That would that’s that was in excellent shape for that one. That would be a challenge.
Speaker: 1
48:20
Yeah. I would imagine.
Speaker: 0
48:23
I don’t know. Do I wanna tax my body? I don’t know. Probably shit.
Speaker: 1
48:27
Is it taxing your body, or is it strengthening your body?
Speaker: 0
48:29
Ai don’t know. I don’t know. Yeah. I don’t know.
Speaker: 1
48:31
I mean
Speaker: 0
48:31
How many how many miles can you get on this stuff? Right? That’s On ai.
Speaker: 1
48:36
I think it’s forever. I think it’s permanent. I mean, what you everything you have just reinforces the recovery of the bones. Right?
Speaker: 0
48:44
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And then
Speaker: 1
48:45
and then you just have a plate there that just keeps the bones in order. Yep. And it’s I mean, all the
Speaker: 0
48:51
all the titanium in my body is useless at this point. It did its job, and then the bone’s grown.
Speaker: 1
48:57
Mhmm.
Speaker: 0
48:58
But so it just stays there now.
Speaker: 1
49:00
Is there an argument that the titanium hinders you at all?
Speaker: 0
49:05
Well, I mean, it is foreign foreign metal in your body. You’re not it’s not rejecting it, but there is a point where it could. You know, just like allergies, you know, there’s some you don’t get allergies sometimes for forty years in your ai, and all of a sudden, I’m allergic to down.
Speaker: 0
49:20
It could reject it. Who knows? You never know. Ai I’ll cross that bridge. I’m worrying about today. I’m here with you. I’ll worry about that shit later.
Speaker: 1
49:29
It’s just so impressive.
Speaker: 0
49:30
Yeah. It really is. It really is amazing. Yeah. It’s in yeah.
Speaker: 1
49:34
Because at any other time in history, you’re dead. Yeah. Yeah. Any other time in history.
Speaker: 0
49:38
Oh, yeah. Twenty
Speaker: 1
49:38
years ago, you’re dead. Goner.
Speaker: 0
49:40
Yeah. You’re a goner.
Speaker: 1
49:41
Twenty years ago. It’s insane. Right? It’s amazing. Yeah. It’s amazing.
Speaker: 0
49:44
What a what a great blessing to have all those people that even, like, the the the EMTs and all the people that were there, the ai saving stuff, they did all this stuff that they had to do, man. There’s so much you ai? And I and I’m really known in that community, especially in the EMTs and all that sort of stuff.
Speaker: 0
50:00
I ai a lot of firefighter friends and all that stuff. So it’s just like a there you know, you’re just getting a little extra juice and love from these people. You know, ai, I knew, one of my best friends is a firefighter in that area, Jesse, and he’s just retired. He got the phone call from his buddy who had to, like, stab my chest and release the pressure from the lung and, like, on the ice.
Speaker: 0
50:21
I’m like and he’s the one that says, look, dude. Jesse Jeremy is is in we did the best we could, dude. You don’t wanna get to the hospital. Wow. And that’s, like, code for, like, gone. He’s gone.
Speaker: 1
50:32
You’re gone.
Speaker: 0
50:32
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But, I mean, you but they were ai, you know, I talked to them all later. I saw every nurse. I saw every doctor. I went by every ENT, even the pilot that flew me up there and just had to give everyone the biggest squeeze and apologize if I was a pain in the ass or whatever it was, man.
Speaker: 0
50:50
It’s that, reminds me of just why I’m back anyway and and what the only thing that you take with you is love, man. Yeah.
Speaker: 1
50:59
The beginning of the audiobook is your daughter. Yeah. Yeah. That was the one I had the hardest time with. Yeah. Yeah. Because it’s
Speaker: 0
51:09
Can you imagine? Yeah. I can’t
Speaker: 1
51:11
I can’t imagine, you know? Dude. Does this I mean, it must forever change your perspective on life because you’ve crossed back.
Speaker: 0
51:23
Yeah. Yeah. Well, ai just made it easier. It’s it’s it’s ripped away all the white noise, things Sai gave credence to, things I gave value to. It’s fucking meaningless. Bullshit. Bullshit.
Speaker: 1
51:34
All the bullshit.
Speaker: 0
51:35
Bullshit is not there. Gone. Yeah. And I just don’t sadly, I’m in a spinning rock with, you know, people and capitalism stuff with with things to say. I just don’t I just feel like I belong, but I do. I just it’s a lot of ai, I just don’t feel like I fit into a certain how things are how things work or seem to work down. Or yeah.
Speaker: 0
52:01
I just I just I just don’t do things Ai I I don’t give give value to. I only do things that are valuable in my life. That’s it. That is it. I do nothing else.
Speaker: 1
52:10
It is amazing how much time and energy people put into things that ultimately at the end of the life, they’re not valuable. Yeah. They don’t mean anything. Yeah. And they occupy most of your thinking.
Speaker: 0
52:20
That’s right. Or even your time or, like, your career. Uh-huh. Right? Yeah. When people do careers that they fucking hate Yep. Or they’re in a meh, they’re just fucking ai, you know, all this stuff. They’re spending too much time doing what? Right. Why why why? Because of fear because of fear, you get trapped, and it’s too difficult to get out.
Speaker: 0
52:38
And, you know, they get too deep and buried in into to some place that they get I don’t know. Paint themselves in a corner. You know? It’s it’s quite sad.
Speaker: 1
52:45
Yeah. You know? It is sad, but it’s also, I mean, it’s an amazing example that you you can shine to the rest of the world that maybe people don’t have to go through what you went through to realize that most of what you’re thinking about all day, especially if you’re one of those people that’s wrapped up in social media.
Speaker: 1
53:10
Mhmm. Most of the things you’re thinking about all day are just nonsense. Yeah. Just total nonsense that’s stealing your life.
Speaker: 0
53:17
Yep. Yep. I mean, it’s one one of the reasons why I wrote the book is Ai hope there’s things that, that I learned and the gifts that I received from from passing and coming back and overcoming, you know, huge obstacles and a lot of lot of people can then identify with suffering and struggle.
Speaker: 0
53:32
Doesn’t have to be a physical struggle, but, you know, there’s it’s it’s a certain way to think and perspective that to work your way through it. Yeah. Because it is a lonely lonely place. And Sai think there’s something beautiful about the narrative of an author to a reader or even just audio, which is even more intense because you meh the 911 call and Right.
Speaker: 0
53:49
It’s ai dramatic in that sense, but, like, it’s it’s pretty intimate. And you can I think you can really move the needle for somebody? Yeah. The more open and honest and vulnerable I am in sharing the narrative, though maybe more I have a chance at connecting with the reader or listener. No doubt.
Speaker: 0
54:07
You know? Because the
Speaker: 1
54:08
thing is about when when you’re in the middle of a struggle, it never seems like you’re gonna get out of it. Yeah.
Speaker: 0
54:13
And you’re trapped. Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker: 1
54:14
You feel and it’s so difficult for people to trust the process or to trust that it will get better. And this is unfortunately why a lot of people end their lives because they do not think it’s going to get better. And do you you hear it from so many people that almost took their life or failed when they tried to take their life, and now realize, oh meh god, I was so wrong.
Speaker: 1
54:37
It does get better. I am better. Everything’s better, and I just didn’t see the light. I didn’t see the light at the end of the tunnel. I thought there was there’s just nothing but this feeling that I couldn’t endure.
Speaker: 0
54:48
Yeah. That hopelessness? Oh, that’s yeah. That weighs heavy, don’t it? If you can’t afford that, you can’t you can’t give that power. You can’t give that power.
Speaker: 1
54:59
You can’t give that power.
Speaker: 0
54:59
You you can’t. It’s just Ai think anybody can sink into that. Right? Anybody can
Speaker: 1
55:03
sink into that. Yeah. Anybody gets into that. It’s just so hard for people that have never gone through something before. If your life has been really easy Yeah. And then all of a sudden you’re tasked with one of the most difficult burdens ever, overcoming the fear and the the the the the the feeling of wanting to end life because you can’t take it.
Speaker: 0
55:25
Ai. I’ve been there. I mean, Jesus. Ai look. I think people need to suffer. It is an actual requirement of life and is is the ai, the DNA of love. Real love and true love and and perpetuity can’t exist without suffering. It’s impossible.
Speaker: 1
55:48
But you don’t appreciate it.
Speaker: 0
55:49
Yeah. It’s you have to have suffering. And suffering doesn’t have to be looked at in a negative thing. Ai it could be looked vatsal beautiful thing. It’s where real love comes out of. Yeah. You know? All my suffering, there was real love in there. Everyone around me just in this recovery or in a loss I may have had from an uncle or grandparent or whatever. You know?
Speaker: 0
56:11
There’s there’s real love that comes in that suffering, you know, even though it can be a lonely experience. I mean, I look at it that way and not as a negative terrible thing because it’s just temporary. And it’s it’s it’s not intuitive, though.
Speaker: 1
56:24
What’s that? It’s counterintuitive.
Speaker: 0
56:26
In a negative term of it. Right? But we all have to suffer. Right? I mean, it’s part of the human experience. Yeah. It’s the Joe Rogan experience. I’m not suffering. I’m having a great time with you. But, you know, that’s I don’t think people welcome that or allow that to happen in their lives and let it be okay that the the suffering that we suffer ai that at the hard times are the building blocks to our to who we are.
Speaker: 1
56:50
It builds resilience. Yeah. It builds character.
Speaker: 0
56:52
Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker: 1
56:53
It builds all those things. Yeah. I remember one time I mean, this is a minor suffering in comparison. But one ai, I went on this, hunting trip on Prince Of Wales Ai, which rains, like, three hundred and fifty days
Speaker: 0
57:04
a year.
Speaker: 1
57:05
And sai, we were up there for a week just getting drenched. And, you know, you’re camping, so you’re in a tent, and you think, oh, well, I’ll be dry in the tent, and you’re not ai in the tent. There’s no ai. There’s no such thing as dry. I remember I turned my headlamp on in the tent once because I had to pee, and I was gonna step out of the tent to go to the bathroom in the rain.
Speaker: 1
57:23
And when I pressed the headlamp inside my tent, all I saw inside the tent was water vapor. It was just filled with moisture. There was just water dot like, droplets all flying around inside the tent. I’m ai, oh meh god. You’re never gonna be dry. There’s no dry.
Speaker: 1
57:44
And, you know, it was just miserable, but fun. I was with good friends. We had a good time. Then I came back to LA, you know, a week later, and I remember I called my friend Speak Renella. I called because he’s the one who took me on the trip, and I said, dude, it’s sunny out and I’ve never appreciated the sun like this before. Yeah.
Speaker: 1
58:02
I’ve I’m I’m like Ai at a level of happiness that I don’t think I’ve ever felt before. Ai just sitting outside with my eyes closed just taking the sai. It was wonderful. Yeah. LA is always sunny. Yeah. You get so used to it. Yeah.
Speaker: 1
58:15
It’s like you’re a trust fund kid, you know, like who can’t appreciate money Right. Because you’ve always had it. It doesn’t mean anything to you. But now all of a sudden going just being drenched for seven days and being in that sai, I was like, and then it made me realize like, oh, you need to suffer.
Speaker: 1
58:31
You need to suffer, you’re never gonna appreciate this life. Ai. And either you voluntarily suffer or you will suffer involuntarily because life regular life will make you suffer.
Speaker: 0
58:42
Yeah. Very true. It’s it’s that’s not it seems sort of, anti human to wanna do something to make yourself suffer. Right? It doesn’t seem very sort of characteristics of you know, we always wanna take the fastest route to get somewhere. Yeah. Easy. It’s, you know, it’s just innate ai kinda human nature to to do that, sadly, and it doesn’t and it it that that leads to a life of complacency and mediocrity.
Speaker: 1
59:04
Well, if you look at life today and if you look at society today, we have unprecedented levels of depression and unprecedented levels of anxiety and unhappiness, yet it’s probably the safest time ever, And it’s probably the easiest time ever. It’s so easy that poor people are fat.
Speaker: 0
59:25
Mhmm.
Speaker: 1
59:25
That’s how easy it is. Ai, that’s never been the case. All throughout history, poor people were starving
Speaker: 0
59:31
Yeah.
Speaker: 1
59:31
And poor people are fat now. Like, that’s how easy it is to live just to exist. Yeah. Sai, I mean, not not not saying that being poor is easy. It’s certainly not. This is certainly a struggle. But it’s way easier than starving to death. Like, this is like an unprecedented easy ai, and because of that, and because there’s this narrative that people have to constantly seek comfort, to seek vacation and relaxation and retirement and all that bullshit.
Speaker: 1
01:00:00
And so that’s in your head, and there’s this softness to existence. And so everything that comes your way is overwhelming. Somebody said this once and it’s like a great quote that I remember. The worst thing that’s ever happened to you is the worst thing that’s ever happened to you regardless of how small that is.
Speaker: 1
01:00:19
So if the worst thing that’s ever happened to you is, like Sai remember, my girlfriend broke up with me when I was 18, and I was like, oh, I couldn’t believe that I thought I was gonna be with her forever. I was so sad. Yeah. And then I think back, like, oh my god. That was the best thing that ever happened. She was a nightmare.
Speaker: 1
01:00:34
But but back then I thought Ai was probably a nightmare too. But back then, I thought, like, life was over. Right? Which is out. But you have to get through that in order to depreciate ai, to really appreciate life. But we have this bizarre narrative in our head that you shouldn’t suffer.
Speaker: 0
01:00:52
I know. Where where does that come from?
Speaker: 1
01:00:55
I can’t. Well, because it used to be so difficult to live. Yeah. Because and so you would try to find a time where it wasn’t difficult. And so then it became the thing that everybody focused on. Focused on chilling, relaxing.
Speaker: 0
01:01:07
Yeah. Yeah. You know, and
Speaker: 1
01:01:08
the people that I know that don’t do anything and don’t take any chances and don’t take any risks and don’t exercise and just seek comfort are the most miserable ai ridden people I know.
Speaker: 0
01:01:19
Well, that’s yeah. They’re pretty meh dead inside. Right? Yeah. It’s complacency, and it’s that’s the definition of complacency. Again, it’s counterintuitive. Yeah. Right? Exactly.
Speaker: 1
01:01:27
Comfort is easy. It’s relaxing. It’s nice.
Speaker: 0
01:01:29
Yeah.
Speaker: 1
01:01:30
But it’s only relaxing if you’ve earned it. Yep. Yep. Correct. Gotta get through something Yeah. Yeah. In order to appreciate just chilling on the couch.
Speaker: 0
01:01:37
Yep. Yeah. So that’s why I always do Sai Ai have to fight my I have to trick my own behavior into doing things I don’t wanna do all the time. You know? If I don’t wanna do, I’m like, oh, I’m going to do it. Don’t even think about it. Just go do it. Right.
Speaker: 0
01:01:51
Because I know your lazy mind just wants to, like, oh, yeah. Let’s let me just let me skip the gym today, or let me not do PT today or whatever the heck it is. And I Ai don’t wanna get poked and prodded. No. Just do it. Just go do it. Right?
Speaker: 0
01:02:04
The thing you don’t wanna do is the thing you probably should be doing.
Speaker: 1
01:02:07
Almost always.
Speaker: 0
01:02:08
Yeah. And I that’s why I pretty much always just do that. It it gets me out of my way, out of complacency, just, like, laziness. I just it doesn’t exist because I do the opposite of what I want to do. Well, that’s why you’re ai. And that’s why I’m so full of joy, dude. And I’m so happy.
Speaker: 0
01:02:24
I’ve never been happier, more connected to humans, more connected to my daughter, more connected to myself, more centered in my spirit, where I am right now, where I’ll go, where I’ll be, where I always am and always have been is beautiful, man. Yeah.
Speaker: 1
01:02:40
Beautiful. You gotta conquer your inner bitch. You do, man. That’s what it is. There’s an inner bitch inside of everyone. That’s like No.
Speaker: 0
01:02:48
Once you
Speaker: 1
01:02:49
just do nothing, you
Speaker: 0
01:02:50
guys, man.
Speaker: 1
01:02:50
You gotta go shah, they’ll fuck
Speaker: 0
01:02:52
up. Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker: 1
01:02:52
You have to have, like, two minds. You have to Yeah.
Speaker: 0
01:02:54
Well, you gotta surround yourself with others too that can inspire you too. Right? Sai then you do things as as a even as you and I go work out, do something. It’s a lot easier than going to the gym by yourself. Right? You you ai to create because we are social creatures, so let’s do things that, like, I’m doing like, I’m building a whole rehab recovery center at my house.
Speaker: 0
01:03:14
Like, well, maybe I can open this to the public and, like, make this a communal cool thing so everyone has access to this stuff. Ai I’m still considering doing that, but, like, just make it a a a a place to to be and hang sai it’s everyone can do it. And I’m not it’s not just me. Right. Right. Separating myself from other people.
Speaker: 0
01:03:33
Whatever it might be in in my life, there’s there’s I try to find ways to make it a communal thing, so it just makes it easier to to continue this in in perpetuity.
Speaker: 1
01:03:41
That’s another counterintuitive thing. It’s ai you have to understand how important community is. It’s like a vitamin.
Speaker: 0
01:03:47
Yeah. Big time.
Speaker: 1
01:03:48
It really is.
Speaker: 0
01:03:48
Yeah. It’s like shared experience too that comes with that, negative or positive in the tent with your friends. And if you’re alone in doing that, right, it’s fact, you have no one to share that misery with. But at least you did shah that experience with somebody. Ai, dude, never thought I love the sun so much. Remember we’re fucking eating ass sucking on the rainwater in that tent. You know?
Speaker: 0
01:04:08
But it’s, like, even a negative experience could be, but it’s shared. It’s still quite beautiful. And it’s a it’s a map, a milestone, a part of your life that uses barometer to change your or appreciate the sun more or whatever it might be. Right? And so those shared experiences, I think, were invaluable. It’s the only thing I chase in my life is that.
Speaker: 1
01:04:26
For people, that ever wanna start a fire when it’s everything’s wet, Fritos. You know, little Fritos, little bags of Fritos. Yeah. Yeah. Those oil motherfuckers are so toxic that if you light those things, they’re like little fire starters. No way. Yeah, man. Fritos are crazy flammable.
Speaker: 1
01:04:45
They stay lit for a long ass time because they’re just
Speaker: 0
01:04:49
soaked with oil. Oil. Yeah.
Speaker: 1
01:04:50
Yeah. So Whatever oil, whatever horrible fucking seed oil, whatever fucking industrial lubricant those fucking things are made out of. But when you light that, they’re essentially some sort of a corn byproduct and oil. Right. Right. And so you if you light those fuckers on fire and then you get some semi dry sticks and light them light those, and we started one fire one day because one day it didn’t rain.
Speaker: 1
01:05:13
So that one day it didn’t rain. Me and my friend Bryden Callan, we were determined to start a ai. And so we just found, like, the driest possible well, nothing was dry, but driest possible sticks and twigs Yeah. Started it and then dried some logs out. And it was they were hissing and steam was coming off them as we’re lighting it, but Fritos. Yeah. Fritos are an amazing fire starter. Kinda crazy.
Speaker: 0
01:05:36
That’s crazy.
Speaker: 1
01:05:37
Makes you think about eating though.
Speaker: 0
01:05:38
What what am I talking about? You guys are about to eat this shit? Yeah.
Speaker: 1
01:05:42
Which brings me to another question. Like, how much did you alter your diet after all this? Because I would imagine, like, anything that causes inflammation, it then becomes an issue.
Speaker: 0
01:05:51
Yeah. I didn’t go down so much that Ai always eating pretty good. Ai I didn’t it didn’t go into, like, things that I haven’t gone into that even yet to, like, oh, what causes inflammation? What what what am I eating that does that? I I haven’t really gotten that far into it yet. I’m still I’m sure I will.
Speaker: 0
01:06:11
But or and then there was a doctor who also helped me stuff, and I have people cook prepare some certain things for me, but I don’t couldn’t tell you what causes inflammation that I put in my mouth. Could not. I mean, maybe if I had wine, probably does and
Speaker: 1
01:06:23
and alcohol does. Yeah. Alcohol does for sure.
Speaker: 0
01:06:26
Yeah. Yeah. But Ai, again, I don’t do I I I really am good at, moderating all things, all things good and bad. So, my body has a chance to sort of exist, and it’s not forced too many supplements, too many peptides, too many too many anything.
Speaker: 1
01:06:43
Right.
Speaker: 0
01:06:43
All all good stuff. I sort of just moderate. Sai, once I got my blood right because I was, like, two hundred and five pounds. I’ve never been more than a buck sixty ai. And it’s just all this surgery weight and all this stuff, and it’s hard to get off when you have a
Speaker: 1
01:06:58
you know,
Speaker: 0
01:06:59
your hemoglobin is too.
Speaker: 1
01:07:01
Ram
Speaker: 0
01:07:01
just sai no energy. So Also, you probably
Speaker: 1
01:07:03
have to eat a lot too because your body needs calories in order to help That
Speaker: 0
01:07:07
that and the, it’s good proteins too. Yeah. And, also, it’s difficult to eat because, again, my molars got pushed in. It’s hard to chew. I look fine. But to chew it on on a nice steak and asparagus thing, it’s ai this tough it’s tough for me to get through.
Speaker: 1
01:07:20
Still to this day or no?
Speaker: 0
01:07:21
Yeah. It’ll be forever. I can’t fix it. If I start to move those molars again, they’ll probably fall out. Oh, wow. Yeah. And I’d rather keep them, and it just be uncomfortable. So they just they got pushed in. Yeah. This side, yeah, it’s usually sort of, like, just like an arc to your thing. So ai bite just kinda arya and then goes straight back.
Speaker: 1
01:07:40
Oh, wow.
Speaker: 0
01:07:40
Yeah. All these got pushed in and broke broke the jaw three times here. So and then in just breaking the jaw, it doesn’t ever really heal right. So biting down is quite it’s annoying. It’s sai it’s full chaos in my mouth, but Sai don’t bitch about it. I just sort of accept what it is and, it could have been so much worse. Could have been so I have all my teeth. I have a smile. Right.
Speaker: 0
01:07:59
It’s great.
Speaker: 1
01:08:00
Yeah. You know, it’s
Speaker: 0
01:08:01
Ai feel great in in, and walking and breathing. Ai have love and joy in my life. So, you know, who cares about what happens to my mouth, man? Right. Right.
Speaker: 1
01:08:10
Yeah. No. That’s it’s it’s really kind of an amazing story. And it’s it’s just amazing how these stories can be so inspirational for other people too, which is why I’m really glad you wrote your book. Because these stories, they’re they’re, like, autobiographies, especially people that you ai, that you you’ve seen in movies before. It’s ai those those struggles, they’re so real.
Speaker: 1
01:08:32
And when someone’s going through something themselves and they can turn to your book, it can give them a lot. It’s fuel for people. It really is.
Speaker: 0
01:08:40
Yeah. And for me as well. I mean, I’m I resisted writing it because I still don’t know how or why it can and will inspire people. Sai can only make assumptions, and then I think it’s so particular to the actual reader and the person. But so I can never sort of pontificate on how or why it’s important or not.
Speaker: 0
01:08:56
But it is ai there’s an achievement for me to get through it word by word that I didn’t wanna do to relive it. And then because it’s in my ai, and I talk about it all the time. It is it is a part of my narrative, it’s a part of my life. It’s just recovery is just it’s just my life, and I love it. I enjoy it. I I feel better.
Speaker: 0
01:09:17
I look better and all that stuff, but it’s like the book now is a tangible sort of this is this is a a great dialogue that we’ll have as long as we want, but it’s just a dialogue that exists. But now this is a tangible object with words. The words don’t change. They stay there
Speaker: 1
01:09:32
Right.
Speaker: 0
01:09:32
Like a tablet. And something kinda interesting about that is ai a milestone or a tangible thing that now it exists in the world. Right. And ai, that says a a lot to me. So, like, even when I do die, that’s still there sai that maybe it can help somebody even when I can’t be there to talk with them or whatever it might be or even exist.
Speaker: 1
01:09:52
Right? Something to exist long after
Speaker: 0
01:09:54
Yeah. It’s pretty, it’s pretty interesting because I do movies and things like that or music. Those are, like, the same thing as a conversation. They just sort of exist in the moment. Mhmm. Like, you know, it’s great going to a concert, but then it’s over. Right.
Speaker: 1
01:10:05
And
Speaker: 0
01:10:05
then that’s it. Well, what happened? Well, I could tell you about the concert, but something about something existing beyond your your your life is something pretty interesting.
Speaker: 1
01:10:14
What was the process like of writing? Did you physically sit down and write Ai you how did
Speaker: 0
01:10:19
you Initially initially, I I have a a ghostwriter who helped me because Ai never written a book. I’ve I’ve written a lot, but I’ve never written a book. It’s just so Ai wanted to get the format right. And so we would work through this format. It’s almost like an outline. And then so we just do interview by each of the sections of this outline that we put out.
Speaker: 0
01:10:38
And so then we would just talk like ai, and they told let’s talk about this thing. Tyler take me moment by moment in the accident. I’m like, alright. Let’s do that. And we meet every day for, like, two, three hours, however long I could sustain going word by word on it.
Speaker: 0
01:10:52
And we recorded all the things, and I would write on my own because it would kick up new memories and started writing about the Lamaze thing. And, oh, gosh. That came up, and let me that became a whole chapter in the book, about breathing, breathing x my my my awareness to breathing and ai it became so important in my life.
Speaker: 0
01:11:09
Anyway, so I just kept going and writing and writing and writing, and then I would do talks to to companies. I would speak to kids at schools. I would all this is part of the writing experience because you can ask me the same question and then but we’re in this environment.
Speaker: 0
01:11:22
But then if I’m with my family and I tell the answer the same question, it’s a different it’s the same ai answer, but different. Sai I kept learning more and more data and information was stored in my ai, in my heart, in my ai, and I had to unearth it and put it down into words, which is which I found to be the most difficult thing.
Speaker: 0
01:11:42
Because as we speak, like I’m doing now, it’s it’s it’s it’s free to speak as whatever you sana. But to write down the words, oh, wait. There’s accountability to the words because they’re bryden. And you didn’t have more you have more word choice. Ai brain doesn’t operate as fast as I’d I’d like to for my vocabulary.
Speaker: 0
01:11:57
I and ai drop way too many f bombs instead of, like, really great words that I do know.
Speaker: 1
01:12:03
Right.
Speaker: 0
01:12:03
You know? So, it was nice to be able to take the time and spend the agony to really ai express, word by word through it, you know, in a in a very real sana way. It’s ai it’s more like a like a ai, a recounting diary than it was trying to, be fancy with words and, over complicate something that’s really quite so simple.
Speaker: 1
01:12:27
What was the process like of going over the words and deciding what to keep and what to edit out and how to how to format everything and what what order to talk about things in?
Speaker: 0
01:12:39
The the order always was working for me from the beginning. It allowed for flexibility for what would come up in conversations in in the writing. It allowed for fluidity. But there’s a beginning, middle, and end to this. We already knew the end. Alright. Knew the beginning.
Speaker: 0
01:12:54
And so it it was it was the branches off of I didn’t know I was gonna talk about Lamaze in this book. Didn’t know that was a huge, milestone in my life that got me to understand what conscious breathing was and mitigate pain. Because there’s this whole thing about Lamaze Ai was taken at 12 years old. My mom was pregnant with my ai, and she said put down this the cleat, son.
Speaker: 0
01:13:20
You’re not going to soccer practice. Just grab a pillow. You’re coming with me to the class. I’m like, what class? It was Lamaze class at the YMCA.
Speaker: 0
01:13:27
And, my stepdad was out driving a truck or something. And so my mom, she needed also needed me not to be saloni, but and she needed, you know, whatever. So she brought me, the oldest. And I laid there with a pillow between her legs and teach her how to breathe and short short breaths, and then they pulled down a screen.
Speaker: 0
01:13:43
And they showed this midwife birth at home in a bathtub and squirting out water and this whole thing. I’m like, what’s going on? I’m 12 years old. I’m mortified. Like, what happened? Is that a whale breaching? What was going on? You know?
Speaker: 0
01:13:57
And, so that came up and just sort of us me and my partner talking about it. And he’s like, dude, you don’t realize that. I’m like, yeah. Well, that’s why the book’s called ai next breath. You know?
Speaker: 0
01:14:07
It’s all about breathing, and breathing was such a a essential part of my recovery, my central part of ai, you know, not dying and to get through each and every moment. The perspective of of breath, it is not a conscious thought. It is right? It just it just it’s reflective in our body.
Speaker: 0
01:14:28
And when we make it a consciousness, when we invest into our breath, what you can do with your ai, with your breath. Right? It opens up. Like, if you the more you breathe, the more you get oxygen in your body, it’s just feeding all of it. It feeds you. It feeds only feeds you. Ai?
Speaker: 0
01:14:45
Because, like, yawn. People yawn, and I say the example of, like, oh, you you’re tired. No. You’re not tired. It’s your body that you know that you need to breathe, get more oxygen in your in yourself. Right? So it’s you’re not tired. You just need more o two.
Speaker: 0
01:14:57
That’s all. Yeah. Your body’s making that happen.
Speaker: 1
01:14:58
Isn’t it fascinating that everybody breathes? So everybody thinks, oh, breathing, what’s the big deal? It’s ai nothing. Have you ever read James Nestor’s, breath? Mhmm. Or it’s actually breathe, I guess. But it’s an amazing book on breathing techniques and the history of breathing techniques and all the different things that people have achieved with breathing techniques including holotropic breathing, which achieves psychedelic states of consciousness and all these, you know, different feats of incredible physical endurance that people have achieved through breath work.
Speaker: 1
01:15:35
It’s a pretty amazing book.
Speaker: 0
01:15:37
Yeah. Ai
Speaker: 1
01:15:37
was a guest of mine on the podcast a few years back, but Ai I read his book and started really getting into it and really trying to practice different breathing exercises and great, you know, there’s a bunch of breathing exercises you can use for anxiety, for overcoming very stressful situations. But when you say that to most people, oh, breathing, they’re like, oh, you’re one of those guys. They’re ai, oh, you’re concentrating on your breathing?
Speaker: 1
01:16:02
What else you’re concentrating on? Blinking? You know, it’s like because it’s like
Speaker: 0
01:16:05
you know what I mean?
Speaker: 1
01:16:06
Yeah. It’s like you can ai it. Yeah. You could you can you have reductionist perspective where you don’t think it’s anything big, and especially if you’ve never practiced it. Yeah. Yeah. But, you know, especially with, like, yogic breathing, you can achieve some bizarre states of relaxation and consciousness through breathing.
Speaker: 0
01:16:25
Yeah. Big time. Yeah. And you could you could I I always try whenever I explain it to somebody, it’s I I just I say, like, when I use it. I just think Ai don’t do it, like, on a daily basis. I mean, maybe now I do to, but it’s ai it’s I did it for, like, you sai, for anxiety when I was, like, nervous in an audition. Mhmm.
Speaker: 0
01:16:43
How do I get out of this situation? Like, I’m not in my body. My heart’s going like this. I’m like, I’m not how I can’t read these ai, and I hear, like, Sean Penn in the ram. Ai supposed to go there and be better than this guy.
Speaker: 0
01:16:53
I’m like, oh, I’m freaking out. I’m sweating. So I said, screw this. I leave the room. I go out of the building.
Speaker: 0
01:16:59
I go out into the street, like, on Sunset Boulevard somewhere, find a tree that’s rooted in this damn Earth. I’m gonna you know, it might look ridiculous. I don’t care. But the courage to go down on your knees, go by that route, be in this earth, and just take some deep 10 deep breaths as cars are honking and dialed out on Sunset Boulevard.
Speaker: 0
01:17:17
I don’t give a shit. I’m back in my body. I’m back on this earth. Here I am. Let’s fucking go.
Speaker: 0
01:17:23
And I went back up in that room, and I smashed that audition. And I don’t remember if I got the role in that, but it doesn’t matter. I was back in my body. I was back in on Earth. Right? It wasn’t, like, in the state of hysteria or nervousness or that you know?
Speaker: 0
01:17:36
Because I don’t like that feeling, so I found a way to overcome that feeling. Yeah. Some people might just live in that feeling all the time. They might like it. I don’t know.
Speaker: 1
01:17:43
Maybe Ai don’t think they like it. Yeah. I don’t think anybody likes it. Sai think the problem is you just get trapped in that feeling, and then the moment something comes up that’s very difficult Yeah. That causes you to spiral again, you just you lose control.
Speaker: 0
01:17:57
Yeah.
Speaker: 1
01:17:58
You’re out of your head. Yeah. And it’s ai it’s one of the most difficult things about the this whole audition process that actors go through is that, you know, there’s this golden carrot that’s at the end of the stick and if you do a good job, you might be a fucking movie star.
Speaker: 1
01:18:18
You know what I mean? Which seems impossible. Right? Right. I mean, it must have seemed impossible before he pulled it off. Right? Yeah.
Speaker: 0
01:18:24
Yeah. I know. It’s that’s there was it was never like something I was ever aiming for, really.
Speaker: 1
01:18:29
What were you aiming for?
Speaker: 0
01:18:31
Truth in every in everything I was doing.
Speaker: 1
01:18:34
Truth.
Speaker: 0
01:18:34
Yeah. Honesty and truth. How did you get because if I don’t believe it, then how do I expect someone watching me to believe it? You know? I have to ensure that everything I’m doing is truthful and honest and courageous and bold and, you know, all the things. So it was never to try to be a movie. I just wanted to work. Ai. I never wanted to be famous.
Speaker: 1
01:18:52
How did you acquire that perspective?
Speaker: 0
01:18:54
Oh, I don’t know. It’s it’s I was clear about what I wanted. Very clear about what I wanted. And it moved down to LA to be famous. I moved to LA to be in a movie, be in a movie that was big enough that would play in Modesto, California where I’m from because you don’t get all the movies there.
Speaker: 0
01:19:08
Right? Right. And being a part in that movie that I wouldn’t have to tell my family, you know, I’m the guy in the red shirt waving in the background. It’s a part big enough that you would just know in the movie. Yeah.
Speaker: 0
01:19:19
So and I got vatsal, all those goals, in the first job I ever did on camera in this National Lampoon senior trip movie. So then I had to recalibrate now new goals to to also get myself to to and I was working enough. So I never my goals were always to like, I didn’t want to be, you know, the lead in a you know, by the time I got, like, Dahmer and then Hurt Locker and all this ai of stuff, it just kinda made I was ready for that stuff.
Speaker: 0
01:19:43
But I was, like, 38 by that time. I was, like, the new guy in town at 38.
Speaker: 1
01:19:46
Right.
Speaker: 0
01:19:46
So Isn’t that crazy? Yeah. I was just Sai was just ready, and, you know, I did my journeyman stock and it was fucking amazing.
Speaker: 1
01:19:53
It’s one of the most complex movies about a very bizarre psychological state that people acquire or or that people fall into when it comes to war. Yeah.
Speaker: 0
01:20:09
Yeah. I
Speaker: 1
01:20:09
was What was it like getting into that mindset?
Speaker: 0
01:20:12
It’s it was interesting. I gotta spend you know, I was at Fort Irwin, for about a year learning how to build bombs and render them safe. You know? It’s a year. Yeah. Yeah. And gotta just gotta spend time with the guys and gals off off off campus off base. Interesting. Ai love I love the whole experience.
Speaker: 0
01:20:33
You know? And then gotta go shoot the movie, and that was on the Iraqi border in Jordan during the war. And, it’s a 35 degrees and a hundred pound bomb suit. You know? You you’re just it’s not even hot anymore. It’s just sort of like you let that go.
Speaker: 0
01:20:48
It’s just you just are. It’s kind of a spiritual sort of place you have to go in that kinda that
Speaker: 1
01:20:54
kinda heat. Right?
Speaker: 0
01:20:56
And also you’re drinking enough water. Like, you know, how am I drinking all this water? You’re not even taking a leak. And, like, ai, I’m so dehydrated. Gotta be careful. And that’s, you know, yeah, pretty pretty interesting pretty interesting, experience. You know?
Speaker: 1
01:21:10
What were the conversations like when you were talking to the people that actually did that? Well,
Speaker: 0
01:21:18
most of them look like, you know, school teachers. There’s, like, one one or two guys that one guy was, like, kinda built, like, huge, big guy, Bryden. The rest of them were, like, you know the guy that I know did three tours, he was he just he looks like he’s totally out of shape.
Speaker: 0
01:21:31
His stomach is way bigger than his chest. He’s just kinda this guy did three tours. This guy ai no joke. It’s all mental. It’s all such a mental game because you have to be cool in those high intense situations because you’re dealing with one five five explosives that’ll blow this building off the block.
Speaker: 0
01:21:50
And, the the the the level of intensity is really interesting. Like, they were so comfortable around c four and all these things that blah blah blah. And you gotta be careful. These blasting caps and all these things that people were getting injured all the ai, they got really uncomfortable when I took them to a bar in LA. Why?
Speaker: 0
01:22:10
We were sitting at the bar, and I asked. I’m like, what’s going on? It’s a it’s the big guy. I can’t remember his name. He’s ai, I don’t like where we’re sitting. Like, what what do you mean? He’s like, I need my back to the wall.
Speaker: 0
01:22:19
I need to know where the exit’s at and then do that. Right? And, like, interesting. I’m like, I because I sit like that kinda as well. I don’t like to have I don’t think it’s a trust issue.
Speaker: 0
01:22:28
I just like to kinda I’d have my back to somewhere Sai know where the exit is, where the bathroom is. I look for the the most dangerous man in the room, the hottest girl in the room. Just do ai a like a Terminator checklist. Right. And that was supported by how these guys thought, and it’s that same ai of thing. They just noticed everything. Just data. Okay. Now I can go be here.
Speaker: 0
01:22:48
I assess the room. Right. And I feel safe. Situational awareness. Yeah. Situational awareness.
Speaker: 0
01:22:52
I always had that, but, like, really doing that role and spending so much time with these crew of amazing people, just heightened that for me. The I’ve always been ai and observer, and this is where I just got in for me. I could tell you the color of the the hinges if they match the finish on the doorknobs in places, and it’s just that my how my brain works. Mhmm.
Speaker: 0
01:23:12
And Always. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I’ll tell someone a home builder and designer, so I kinda pay attention to that ai of stuff anyway. But it sorta just kinda helps me out in life, I guess.
Speaker: 1
01:23:23
And so when you were preparing for Hurt Locker, was it your decision to spend a year doing this?
Speaker: 0
01:23:28
Well, no. It wasn’t about the amount of time. I think I was maybe to go for maybe a few months. Kathryn Bigelow, the director, just sort of introduced me and said, alright. They they’re ready for you out the base if you wanna go. So I kinda went out and just kinda did it all on my own and just waiting for the movie to kinda get up and get greenlit and go.
Speaker: 0
01:23:46
Then just took a little bit longer. I think we’re waiting for one of the actors that was doing another job to finish, and then we could start. And then, and then it wasn’t an easy independent film to kinda get up and get rolling, but once we did, we were rocking. But, yeah, it it didn’t meant to be, like, a year, year and a half. She just called me and says, like, are you ready to go? I’m like, yeah.
Speaker: 0
01:24:04
Like like, I’m getting deployed. Like, yeah. Let’s go. I’m ready. And then I also like, we didn’t even have a like, an EOD sort of tech on on the shoot.
Speaker: 0
01:24:14
I had to be the person that and Ai I had to call back. I’m like, I don’t know. This doesn’t look right. They set up these these one five fives, and it’s it’s electrical. It should be dead cord and all these all these things that I learned, but I wasn’t an expert by any means.
Speaker: 0
01:24:27
I Ai I just wanted to make it look authentic in the movie, so I had to call back and call me back if you took a picture of this shit. I don’t think it’s right.
Speaker: 1
01:24:33
Oh, wow.
Speaker: 0
01:24:34
And, yeah. So
Speaker: 1
01:24:36
Well, that’s fortunate that you had so much experience ai.
Speaker: 0
01:24:38
Yeah. It was great. It was great.
Speaker: 1
01:24:40
Because if there’s anything out in that movie, especially for people that actually did that, that takes you out of it.
Speaker: 0
01:24:46
Yeah. You don’t yeah. Ai. And I wouldn’t wanna do that because we wanna be very authentic to what we’re doing. Yeah. We we are still making a movie, but let’s live in this world. And, look, the the the narrative is that the characters that live in this bizarre world in a very relevant time in this this war that we’re in and and and also the struggles of, you know, soldier and civilian life.
Speaker: 0
01:25:08
And because they were civilians and now they became soldiers, they’d be put in prison for life for doing the shit they’re getting paid to do now. Right. And that, you know, and that was a wonderful sort of outcome of the movie of how it bridged that sort of gap or the struggles of with PTSD and coming back from this harrowing sort of existence and war, and then coming back in, like, ai, the cereal aisle.
Speaker: 1
01:25:31
Right.
Speaker: 0
01:25:31
That example of, like, oh, really? Like, you know, or in the rain and, like, you appreciate the sun. It just it’s just such a polar opposite and, like, this is meh existence, and it became such a really a wonderful sort of starting point for, like, wives to deal with their husbands that came back and, like, they can ai of understand a little bit of what they might have gone through just in general, ai, the the broad strokes of how hard it is.
Speaker: 0
01:25:57
And then to come back and then, like, you know, change diapers and do the thing. You know what I mean?
Speaker: 1
01:26:02
Right.
Speaker: 0
01:26:02
It’s, that became such a a powerful thing in in that narrative that I found after we did it, and we’re showing it to all the military bases. And, it’s it’s always gonna be a special experience in my life, and I’ll always be connected to a lot of soldiers because of that.
Speaker: 1
01:26:18
Well, it was a really well done movie. And it was the way you could well, it’s there was a thing about that movie that made you think in a way ram made me think in a way that I don’t think I ever thought before. Like, oh, I never considered what this transition to civilian life is like after dealing with the unbelievable stress
Speaker: 0
01:26:40
Yep.
Speaker: 1
01:26:41
Of being in a war zone, defusing bombs, and then wanting to go back. Yeah. Like, it but it made you understand. Yeah. It made you understand, like, oh, fuck. He wants to go back. Like, oh ai god. I’m watching a movie.
Speaker: 0
01:26:56
Oh, when a movie can
Speaker: 1
01:26:57
do that to you, when it could take you into that psychology of the person that would be in that state
Speaker: 0
01:27:03
Yeah.
Speaker: 1
01:27:03
And and make it make sense. Like, that’s that was a great movie.
Speaker: 0
01:27:07
Yeah. I’m just happy to be part of it.
Speaker: 1
01:27:08
It was more than just, you know, it wasn’t just a story. It was ai you’re you’re documenting a very real condition
Speaker: 0
01:27:14
Yeah.
Speaker: 1
01:27:15
That, you know, through art, you put words to these people’s existence where they don’t, you know, they don’t have anybody representing that.
Speaker: 0
01:27:24
Yeah. You know? Meh. That’s why it means a lot to me. And and then they let me know it means a lot to them, and that’s the most special thing. Like, fuck it. The movie part of it. I think it’s it’s created a dialogue for a lot of broken families or and and united families better or Yeah.
Speaker: 0
01:27:39
There’s a like you said, it’s a a greater understanding of, like, that difference of soldier civilian life. It’s a great bridge for it. Yeah. Ai remember I’m very proud of that.
Speaker: 1
01:27:47
I saw it, and then I I went back to the Comedy Store, and, I I said, oh, meh. We we saw Hurt Locker last night and my friend went, dude. And I went, dude. And that was ai, oh, we understand ai the fuck, man. That it’s like that it was that kind of movie that’s just like, oh ai god, like, it just gives you ai.
Speaker: 1
01:28:06
And it also it also just makes you, like, really reflect and and think about what war is. And the and the requirement that you’re putting on human beings to try to get them to transition from this insane chaos back into civilian life with no real guidance. Yeah. Just you figure this out. Now you’re now you’re back in this in the cereal aisle.
Speaker: 0
01:28:33
Yeah. Yeah. We’re gonna Starbucks, are you?
Speaker: 1
01:28:35
Yeah. You’re ai,
Speaker: 0
01:28:36
yeah. Yeah. It’s interesting.
Speaker: 1
01:28:39
How do you decide, like, what roles to pick when, you know, you’re at this sort of stage in your life where you’re so well known, you know, you people come to you with things, and you have to decide whether or not this project is something that resonates with you.
Speaker: 0
01:28:56
Well, now it’s different. You know, the the vatsal part of my life for for so long was my career. And then my daughter came around, and then she’s number one. So then I would do the job that would allow me still to be a father. Because I I’m not gonna not be your father because ai job takes me away for long periods of time ai just just not doing that in far places.
Speaker: 0
01:29:20
So I would so I’m not I’m not working out of the country anymore once my daughter was born. So I always had reach and access to my daughter, you know, as fast as I needed to be. And then now after the incident, I it’s even tightened up more and loosened up more because my daughter is now 12, and she doesn’t need me as much.
Speaker: 0
01:29:40
She wants her friends a little bit more. Right. Right. That’s a little bit tyler on the totem pole. Just temporarily, I know.
Speaker: 0
01:29:45
But, and also Ai can I can travel? Like, I just worked last summer on a job. There’s a movie called Knives Out. And then they got I got brought my whole family with me.
Speaker: 1
01:29:56
Knives Out was great.
Speaker: 0
01:29:57
Yeah. It’s awesome. Yeah. So this is gonna be a really good one too. But I was able to bring my entire family out. Like, fifty fifteen people came out because they a lot of them not will travel, and they ai to see a lot of Europe. Took my mom and my daughter to the Olympics in in Paris. Dope. Gotta spend a couple weeks in Italy, and it’s kinda silly. But yeah.
Speaker: 0
01:30:13
So we can do that ai of stuff now. So I did the job essentially just to have a summer vacation with my family. Oh, nice. So that’s kind of how I decide And, also, I did love the character. I did love I mean, come on.
Speaker: 0
01:30:24
It’s it’s all that has to line in there too. I’m not just gonna do a job for a job, but it just lined up. But my family has to be involved. My daughter has to be involved. Friends have to be involved.
Speaker: 0
01:30:34
Otherwise, I’m not going to remove myself ram all those shared experiences with people in my life just so I can go do a movie. I don’t want to do any movie that bad. So, that’s my limitation.
Speaker: 1
01:30:46
Well, that’s that limitation is real success too. Did you really choose things that you’re actually passionate about Yeah. That fit within these parameters and allow you to live your life the way you want to.
Speaker: 0
01:30:55
Yeah. And work with people that inspire me and Sai think, you know, I’m just not gonna do a job. Like, you can’t pay meh mean, you could put a trillion dollars in front of me. Go do this. You only need you for two weeks. I’m like, it doesn’t fit. It doesn’t check all the boxes that have real value.
Speaker: 1
01:31:08
Right.
Speaker: 0
01:31:08
The shared experience, the joy with my daughter, my family, and my friends, and, you know, then it’s just not worth it to me. You know? I I don’t need to go act for a to do a job. I don’t. Right.
Speaker: 1
01:31:21
You know? You do it because you want to.
Speaker: 0
01:31:23
Yeah. Yeah. And that’s that’s to me what retirement is. And I’m doing what I wanna do, what do I wanna do it with, and I’m still always gonna be busy at work. All my life, I’ll do that.
Speaker: 1
01:31:32
Yeah. But Stop. We’re sorry.
Speaker: 0
01:31:33
But am I yeah. But it but it is It’s a better life. Well, it is in my mind. I’m a busy guy, and I like I like to Ai like to I like to contribute. I’m very busy doing the renovation foundation, right, which is a huge big central part of my life with my family that runs this this, charitable foundation in my community in Lake Tahoe for foster youth and disadvantaged youth and giving them opportunities that they don’t have these poor kids.
Speaker: 0
01:31:56
And that’s great, and I love that. I love Ai meh. But is that retirement? Like, you know, it’s it’s gonna keep me busy for till I die.
Speaker: 1
01:32:03
And that it’s weird that you have to frame things in a turn like, career or retirement. It’s really just ai. Life and passions.
Speaker: 0
01:32:11
Yeah. Exactly. But I don’t think a
Speaker: 1
01:32:13
lot of people are
Speaker: 0
01:32:13
doing what they wanna do in their life anyway. But, yeah, I’d I’ll always always work, always do the things I love to do, and I’m still continuing to do the things I love to do just on my own terms. Right? I wouldn’t be able to start this foundation if I wasn’t living life on my own terms. I am satiated beyond satiated. I don’t need anything.
Speaker: 0
01:32:33
I require a shared experience on this earth, and that is it. Ai it
Speaker: 1
01:32:39
more so now since the accident?
Speaker: 0
01:32:41
Well, it’s always been that, but there’s a lot of things in the way or things I allowed to be in the way or things I put in the way.
Speaker: 1
01:32:47
Allowed to be in the way.
Speaker: 0
01:32:48
Yeah. I allowed to be in the way. Yeah. And now I do not. I refute it. I push it away. I ram certainly clear when I put obstacles on my own way, when I get meh own way, we all do that shit too. But, so Ai I’m just very, very, very clear, and I keep I oversimplify life because life is just that simple.
Speaker: 0
01:33:07
If we complicate it, then you’re gonna have a overcomplicated life and it’s just not as valuable, I think. I live both. Yeah. And the wonderful over oversimplification has allowed me to, again, use the word retirement in my mind. I’m just living a life that I wanna live Right.
Speaker: 0
01:33:24
That I deserve to live, that I choose to live, and not be limited or rabbit hole or victimized by society or the country I’m living in or the neighborhood I’m living in or the job I have or you know, I’m just not I don’t have any limitations.
Speaker: 1
01:33:38
Right.
Speaker: 0
01:33:39
Because I’m do I’m making manifest everything that I have in my life, and it feel it feels great. And, you know, I’m the captain of the ship. That’s right.
Speaker: 1
01:33:48
It
Speaker: 0
01:33:48
might take a minute to turn this bitch around. Right? But I’m the captain of this damn shah. It’s called my life, and I think everybody has a capacity to do so.
Speaker: 1
01:33:56
Well, that’s another beautiful thing of living life by example that can inspire people because that’s really what people want to do. They wanna live a life where they feel ai, this is great. Like, what I’m doing is what I wanna do. They don’t most people, they don’t live like that.
Speaker: 1
01:34:11
Most people, they have this dream in the future. Ai day, I will be able to live the sai I
Speaker: 0
01:34:18
want to,
Speaker: 1
01:34:18
but I’m not doing it right now.
Speaker: 0
01:34:19
Right. Right. I think I think that’s a ram, personally. I think you’re you’re doing it already. The journey is there. There’s no end result ai, yeah, you
Speaker: 1
01:34:27
I know. But there’s so many narratives that people adhere to. There’s so many narratives out there in culture where they tell you, you should be doing this and you should be doing that. Yeah. This is a concentrate on your four zero one k
Speaker: 0
01:34:40
ai you’re this and that.
Speaker: 1
01:34:42
What are your investments? And blah blah blah.
Speaker: 0
01:34:45
Yeah.
Speaker: 1
01:34:47
And you fucking then end of the night, you need a pill to go to sleep.
Speaker: 0
01:34:51
Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it’s it’s it’s even crazier now with the social media and all vatsal that.
Speaker: 1
01:34:56
That’s poison.
Speaker: 0
01:34:57
That’s just white noise and garbage.
Speaker: 1
01:35:00
I mean, I’ve been off it lately for, like, the last few weeks
Speaker: 0
01:35:03
Yeah.
Speaker: 1
01:35:03
Where I I literally just check it when I’m taking a shit and that’s it.
Speaker: 0
01:35:06
Yeah. I look forward to I
Speaker: 1
01:35:08
look to see if there’s anything crazy going on in the world just so I ai. Yeah. Yeah. What’s what’s happening? Yeah. But I don’t ever get involved. I don’t ever, like, argue with people or post things and I just see people doing it and I’m like, you’re losing your fucking ai.
Speaker: 1
01:35:23
And I’ve had conversations with friends and they’re like, you know, you know what? Fucking this and that and that and this. I’m like, why? Why are you paying attention? This is ai, let’s go outside. Look. Look at all the birds. Yeah. Look, it’s beautiful. Look at the clouds. What a lovely day.
Speaker: 1
01:35:35
Like, you’re you’re alive in America in 2025 is like a magical time to be alive, and you’re concentrating on some shit that literally has no effect on your life and you’re making it your primary focus. Yeah. That is the definition of madness.
Speaker: 0
01:35:52
Yeah. I mean, it really is.
Speaker: 1
01:35:53
Yeah. You’re freaking out about things that aren’t even here.
Speaker: 0
01:35:55
Yeah. Well, that’s where you get in your way. You’re giving that value. You don’t have to, you know. Yeah.
Speaker: 1
01:36:01
But, you know, it’s just ai perspective is a very difficult thing to earn. And so
Speaker: 0
01:36:06
It is. It is. Well, ai. What how do we get it? How do we get it?
Speaker: 1
01:36:09
Experience. Right? Experience overcoming adversity, developing character, shared experience. That’s a big part of ai. You know, like, with people that you love and you you really connect with.
Speaker: 0
01:36:22
Who you surround yourself with?
Speaker: 1
01:36:23
Yeah. That’s important. Right? That’s most of the key to life. Yeah. Like, if you surround yourself with really great people, you’re forced to become a really great person. It’s ai you have to keep up with it. Yep. This foundation, tell me how you started that.
Speaker: 0
01:36:40
Initially arya with a a show that I produced and put on Disney plus, which is called renovations. And it was taking ai to see a lot of, vehicles go to waste, like purpose built vehicles, like a city bus or a fire truck and all these things that supposed to go a long, long, long ways, but they just replace them even though they’re perfectly good vehicles.
Speaker: 0
01:37:01
So I wanted to repurpose those and help them help, you know, communities in need. And, ai, so it’s taking Ai got built one with to be a water truck like, a box truck to be a water water treatment plant to give, kids, in villages with terrible water and be able to, you know, reverse osmosis their water and give them drinkable water to their school or take a there’s a it’s like a city bus and turned it into, like, a dance studio, mobile dance studio for these kids in in Mexico and just these creative sort of things.
Speaker: 0
01:37:31
And it’s kinda like ai my bryden, but with, like, real valuable Oh, that’s cool. Things, you know, just take these really cool purpose built trucks and sting and then make it something really spectacular for these kids, all kids bryden, to give them what their their their needs are.
Speaker: 0
01:37:45
And then it just went into, like, I didn’t wanna make it about just vehicles ai I wanted to start the foundation. It became a wonderful calling card. And then I so I started the foundation, and my sister works for DCFS, which child protective services in Los Angeles County.
Speaker: 0
01:37:58
And one of my best girlfriends in in Reno, she also works for CPS child protective services there. So I’ve been working with foster youth for many, many, many years, privately. And now I just wanted to really get invested into the community. So I started small in Northern Greater Northern Nevada, and it’s and then my sister now is running it, and and Shah is running it as well with meh, and the whole family has now gotten involved.
Speaker: 0
01:38:22
And it’s been really wonderful to come back from the incident, have this be a central goal for us to celebrate our time together as a family and to give back to these kids that are in great need. And it is it is a been a dream of mine that I’ve been wanting to do for a long time and now do it publicly.
Speaker: 0
01:38:44
I’ve been doing it privately for a long ai. And to really make a big big splash and vatsal make a lot of movement, for these kids, and it it’s I think it’s one of the reasons why I was brought back outside of all the other things, but I think there’s something working in my favor to to come back outside just, you know, my family.
Speaker: 0
01:39:03
And and ai I think it is my reach to kids and my ability to have a great effect for them. And it’s been, a couple years now, and it’s already been moved moved the mountains for kids already, and we’ll continue to do so. This is like me breathing. This is easy. I love this. This is a part of my tyler, my body. I’m this oldest of seven in my family.
Speaker: 0
01:39:22
I’ve been changing diapers and living as the oldest. It’s sort of my birthright to be able to do. What makes it even cooler is that I’m a I’m a Marvel superhero. So I have, like, a reach and access to these kids Right. That they didn’t even listen to. Right? They’re like, oh, cool. Let’s go to camp with Hawkeye. That’s just dope. And and they all show up with plastic sacks. Right?
Speaker: 0
01:39:40
And this is, like, all their valuables in their ai, and it makes me weep. Right? And this is all they’re worth, and they show up with hefty bags. All of them. So we give them rollers with their names on it and a passport.
Speaker: 0
01:39:50
It’s just like a journal, and ai can I’m gonna change the narrative of this of their of their you’re a traveler now. You’re a world traveler. You’re not you’re not carrying your trash around for all your your worth in it. Your worth is much bigger than that. We’re gonna just planting seeds like that in their head and then creating community for them, creating opportunities for them, safe places for them, giving them more educated stuff, giving we gave we brought in a recording studio bus for them to touch all these instruments that they never have access to.
Speaker: 0
01:40:18
Who knows what that does? I don’t care. Let it let it have access to things. Right? Give these kids opportunities that they deserve.
Speaker: 0
01:40:26
This is the future of our fucking planet. Why aren’t we giving more time and effort to that? It’s the future of our world, man. Let’s give them let’s give them all the tools. We need another, Elon. We need other super smart, amazing people, man. We need that.
Speaker: 1
01:40:40
Yeah.
Speaker: 0
01:40:40
We need other leaders. And, you know, what do we give in our youth? Especially our foster youth, man. It’s not a good look. They haven’t gone through a lot of struggles, these kids, meh, and and they’re not gonna struggle, not on my dime, not on my time.
Speaker: 1
01:40:53
That’s amazing.
Speaker: 0
01:40:54
So it’s easy for thing for me to do. I love it’s a great focus for me that’s, outside of, it’s things I enjoy. Right? I still do things that I enjoy. I just gotta do it with these kids and have they teach me so much. I learned so much to keep me in a really, yeah, useful spirit. I it’s it’s harrowing to hear what they’ve been through, Joe. I don’t like to know.
Speaker: 0
01:41:20
My sister knows all about it. Sana knows all about it because they get the phone calls. They have relationships with a lot of these kids. They know dude, I mean, I’d flip you’d you’d you’d probably react like I would. You wanna flip a table. You wanna hurt some people. You know?
Speaker: 0
01:41:33
And it’s it’s so I’d prefer not to know how they got touched and who did it. You know, this kind of stuff. I just try to choose to focus on this kid. These kids plant some seeds of hope. Right. And I’m good at that shit. That’s awesome. Ai love it.
Speaker: 0
01:41:46
So we’re on jet ski. You know, think about it. They’ve never even been to this lake and sai whatever the heck it is, new experiences, new joy, new friends. They’re all crying at the end of this camp because he had such a good damn time. One of them was getting adopted, and she was crying because, like, I can’t come back because I’m not a foster kid anymore. I’ve got adopted.
Speaker: 0
01:42:03
Like, oh, you could come back. You know? You know, you did you did good then when she didn’t wanna get adopted. Like, ah, we it means we’re doing something right for these kids, and we’re gonna continue doing it. And we’re doing it not only just as a camp, but we’re doing, like, lots of programs throughout the year to keep the community of the foster youth community together.
Speaker: 0
01:42:20
A lot of these kids are brothers and sisters that never get to see each other because they’re in separate homes, separate cities. One’s in Vegas, one’s in Reno. Right? This that’s dude, you can’t do that. You can’t do that. So we’re doing our best to unite community. Right? Unite you need we need each other.
Speaker: 0
01:42:35
These kids need each other. Even beyond it, they don’t need me. They need access and reasons to be together. So it’s it’s helping the the foster parents. It’s helping the kids. It’s whatever we can do, we’re gonna start building, youth centers as well.
Speaker: 0
01:42:49
We’ll be building homes as well in the future, with the foundation, but we’re starting, step by step, breath at a time, brick at brick by brick and, building camps and and, activities and education for them. And it’s I love it. You can see how much I love it. I can’t
Speaker: 1
01:43:05
I can talk about this for days, man. You’re you’re lit up when you’re talking.
Speaker: 0
01:43:09
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I feel yeah. I love it, man. I can’t we had these camps coming up here in June and July, so, I’m pumped. Can’t wait to finish this job and go go go back home.
Speaker: 1
01:43:19
That’s incredible. Yeah. It’s kind of shocking that it takes individuals to be inspired
Speaker: 0
01:43:24
to do something like this because society doesn’t put any emphasis on this. Well, it’s like look. There’s a there’s foster states have foster programs. Right? There’s that’s ai but there’s gaps in the system, man. It’s ai kids forgotten kids are forgotten, and then some are it’s, you know, it’s it’s it’s tragic.
Speaker: 0
01:43:43
It’s but, put a spotlight on something, put energy into something. It builds. And I got a loud voice and a big heart, and I’m very actionable with what I do. And that’s why the foundation’s growing and and and making them the moves and and making the, paving ways for for these kids. So, I’ll keep doing it, man.
Speaker: 0
01:44:06
It’s like it’s easy
Speaker: 1
01:44:07
ai know. Long have you been doing this now?
Speaker: 0
01:44:10
Publicly, only a couple years. It’s just just started out. So, you know, then it’s ai, you know what I mean about, oh, it’s called the nonprofit stuff. It’s like, oh, man. It’s like going out and asking for money, so I don’t do that. I’ll go do, like, voice over jobs and, like, put money in the account for I I hate asking for money for for foundation stuff. You know?
Speaker: 0
01:44:28
I’ll let somebody else kinda bother that. I I I do I stay in my lane.
Speaker: 1
01:44:32
Well, that’s right.
Speaker: 0
01:44:33
Ai work with the kids and work with the the ideas and the programs, and I let my sister and, those guys in the in the board deal with, like, you’re having to raise money and all those ai of things. It’s just not my wheelhouse.
Speaker: 1
01:44:43
Well, unfortunately, when people hear nonprofit, they always think, okay. Well, where’s the money really going?
Speaker: 0
01:44:48
That’s where it is, and that’s why we operate at 8%, I think. Meh, great. Yeah. Nobody takes that.
Speaker: 1
01:44:53
That’s the opposite of how they’re usually done.
Speaker: 0
01:44:55
Yeah. Exactly. Yeah. Ai, I mean, even if we got to because no one’s no one takes anything except just basic operating costs. And if we’re operating at 8%, do they meh 13%? It’s ai all the money is going to the kids, man. All of it. Incredible. All of it.
Speaker: 0
01:45:09
All of it. So so I’m trying to get to the the bank account to be full sai we only operate off, the, interest. Once we’re there, then we can really start start to move needle for for building things and doing some stuff in the future. So I’m excited for that. Are you gonna expand this? Yeah. It’ll grow. It’ll grow.
Speaker: 0
01:45:29
Ai again, I think to to keep effective for me is staying in in the home area or just the state of Nevada at least, and that’s not going too far. So because I still I’m very, very hands on, and it’s important for me to to be the voice for the foundation and and for these kids and an advocate for them.
Speaker: 0
01:45:47
And, so I I Nevada is kind of the goal for the least maybe the next five years for sure. And there’s still a ton of kids that I have not reached and need to reach. So I I I focus on that.
Speaker: 1
01:46:03
That’s amazing.
Speaker: 0
01:46:03
Yeah. Yeah. Then there’s a then there’s you then there’s, like, getting the that these use that age out, counselors back in the camp. There’s a great thing with UNR, with they they get a free ride at the at the the university and a lot of them are going back into sociology and psychology and sana to go help kids in foster.
Speaker: 0
01:46:23
Like, this is so great. So I wanna give them opportunities to come back and and help, the youth and maybe give them guidance. God, this is awesome. Self healing and cathartic in its own way. Whatever we can do, meh. It’s a it’s a it’s a it’s a wonderful, wonderful life.
Speaker: 1
01:46:40
That’s amazing because you light up when you talk about that like nothing else we’ve talked about
Speaker: 0
01:46:45
so far. Yeah. Yeah. It’s yeah. It is, it’s everything. It’s it’s again, I’m focusing my energy on all the positive stuff, you know, because and I because I can’t too sensitive to deal with the the the hardships that they go through. So, let me just be a a guide a guiding light for ram or or someone to laugh on. They they could sign my T shirts, whatever they wanna do.
Speaker: 0
01:47:09
I don’t care. I’m their I’m their playground. I I love it, man. Again, I think it’s it’s I think it’s the reason why I came back, Joe.
Speaker: 1
01:47:18
That’s incredible. Yeah. Well, you you could see that it means so much to you. Yeah. And that’s just if you could find something like that in life, you’re a winner.
Speaker: 0
01:47:26
Yeah. Yeah. I mean, just
Speaker: 1
01:47:28
the you’ll think of the the amount of positive energy you put out there in the world.
Speaker: 0
01:47:32
Yeah. That’s it’s pretty exponential to you.
Speaker: 1
01:47:35
Also, it cascades.
Speaker: 0
01:47:37
Yeah. Yeah. The ripple effect of that Yeah. Is insane.
Speaker: 1
01:47:40
Change their ai. They’ll change other people’s lives. Yeah.
Speaker: 0
01:47:43
And it then comes back. It’s it’s it’s pretty what you put out in the world is what you meh back. You know? Yeah. I I see it every day, and it’s exponential, especially now since the incident. Yeah. The ripple effect of just dude, this happened in my driveway. It’s a private experience.
Speaker: 0
01:48:00
I woke up, and it was a global thing. I didn’t ask for that. So kinda glad it did. It allowed people to see me as the man that I am and not the guy that slings an arrow. Right. You know what I mean?
Speaker: 0
01:48:13
It’s a fake arrow because it’s CGI. Right. Right. You know, so that so I’m glad it became a a big public thing, but, you know, the ripple effect of of just the that this narrative of of the recovery is like you said, it can affect a lot of people, and it’s a beautiful thing.
Speaker: 0
01:48:30
It’s a positive thing. And, like the foundation, and I see it and feel it every day. You really lead an exemplary life, my friend. Well You really do. What’s what’s the alternative?
Speaker: 1
01:48:42
I know, but Sai mean, it’s interesting that you have this perspective. Like, I’m I’m always curious to people that have such an amazing perspective. Like, how did you gain it? Like, how did you get to this place?
Speaker: 0
01:48:54
Yeah. Well, I mean, you have to I think you have to ai in review. Right? Yeah. You know, it’s a life in review. I think there’s I think, you know, there’s birth order. Right? There’s also being in the seventies in the small town where I was a latchkey kid. Right? Didn’t I I I had a free reign. I was seven years old, and the key to the house didn’t have to come home till the street lights came on.
Speaker: 1
01:49:18
Right. Me
Speaker: 0
01:49:19
too. Sai I made mistakes. Yeah. I broke windows and slingshots and stole shit and died and light up the cigarette butt ai my my mom’s and all this stuff. Ai got caught, and sometimes I learned I reprimand myself. I self policed myself. I was a very honest kid. You know, there’s a lot lot of lot of things.
Speaker: 0
01:49:38
You know? I had I had a ai, and then that was, like, freedom. That’s where I began, like, oh, I have real freedom. I got a fishing pole. I got on my bike and just went off into another county. Yeah. Like, that wouldn’t happen today. I would never allow my daughter to Never. Walk across the street.
Speaker: 1
01:49:55
I had a similar life. I was a latchkey kid
Speaker: 0
01:49:58
too and I just think the whole Where was this?
Speaker: 1
01:50:00
Well, I lived all over the place. Sai lived when I was seven to 11. I lived in San Francisco ram eleven to thirteen. I lived in Florida from thirteen till twenty four, I lived in Boston. Oh, wow. Then New York and out here.
Speaker: 0
01:50:14
Oh, wow.
Speaker: 1
01:50:15
Or and well, LA rather. And then out here last five years.
Speaker: 0
01:50:18
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, it’s a good mix. Yeah. It’s sai good mix. Right?
Speaker: 1
01:50:22
Well, the good thing about living in a bunch of different places is the bad thing is Ai never really developed roots. Right. And but I had to form my own opinions ai I couldn’t count on the opinions of all the people around me. I didn’t I didn’t have, like, a core group of friends.
Speaker: 0
01:50:40
Yeah.
Speaker: 1
01:50:40
So I always had to, like, sort of see the world for what it was. Yeah. Did that make you an introvert
Speaker: 0
01:50:48
or an extrovert or both?
Speaker: 1
01:50:49
I think I was an introvert initially. I don’t think I ever even though I talk for a living and I’m a public figure, I’m not really an extrovert,
Speaker: 0
01:50:56
which is really odd.
Speaker: 1
01:50:57
Like, I don’t really like attention, which sounds crazy for someone who gets a lot of attention.
Speaker: 0
01:51:01
Yeah. I don’t need it, you
Speaker: 1
01:51:02
know, which is probably why I get it for in some strange Right.
Speaker: 0
01:51:06
Right.
Speaker: 1
01:51:06
Yeah. Ai strange like, I was very socially anxious when I was a kid. Like, I would I would get super nervous when I had to talk to a bank teller. I remember one time I had to deposit money in a bank and I was like, why am I freaking out ai this? This is so weird.
Speaker: 0
01:51:19
Right.
Speaker: 1
01:51:19
You know, but eventually overcame all that stuff and then, you know, through martial arts sai, traveling around from all throughout my youth ram the time I was 15 till I was 22. So all I did was travel around the country and competing. Mhmm. So I had a very bizarre life in that.
Speaker: 1
01:51:40
I didn’t have, like, the normal high school life of partying and hanging out. And I was, you know, flying to California to fight. Right. And it was weird. Right.
Speaker: 1
01:51:51
It was a very weird ai. You know, so I, you know, I did I was still wasn’t an extrovert. Like, I didn’t really learn how to talk in groups of people till I started teaching. So I started teaching martial arya. And then that’s how I learned how to public speak.
Speaker: 0
01:52:09
Oh, okay. But I
Speaker: 1
01:52:09
was publicly speaking about something that I was very good at. Sai it was ai I commanded sort of attention just by because I would demonstrate to them things that I was doing. And then in in demonstrating and talking, it made sense that I was able
Speaker: 0
01:52:25
to talk. About something you knew very well and you’re comfortable in.
Speaker: 1
01:52:28
Yeah. And, you know, it’s ai, I was really good at it ai I could show them. I’m gonna demonstrate something to you, and then I’d I’d do it and they’d be like, holy shit. Ai be like, I’m gonna show you how to do this. Yeah. And then, if you listen to meh, like, I I taught at Boston University and, when I was 19, and it was a real, counter towards your GPA.
Speaker: 1
01:52:46
It was like pass fail a. And I’d say, all you have to do is show up and ai, and you get an a. And if you can’t show up, call me, tell me you can’t make it, and you’ll be fine. If you fuck off, I’m gonna fail you. But if you just try, you get an a, and then it counts towards your GPA. This is ai a legit thing. Yeah.
Speaker: 1
01:53:05
Like, all I want you to do is, like, this can help your life. And I’m not thinking you’re gonna go and fight and compete, but I can teach you something here.
Speaker: 0
01:53:14
Yeah.
Speaker: 1
01:53:15
And it’s difficult, but you’ll get better at it. And through getting better at it, you’ll learn how to get better at other things.
Speaker: 0
01:53:20
The discipline and Yeah. Yeah. It’s great.
Speaker: 1
01:53:21
Sai that’s ai how I got into comedy in the oddest way. Like learning how to talk to people. Yeah. Like, in part because I wasn’t comfortable talking to people. I always felt like a loser and a weirdo and Ai I always felt like an outcast.
Speaker: 0
01:53:34
Yeah.
Speaker: 1
01:53:35
So for to to learn how to talk publicly, like, that’s how I did. Yeah. You know? But all that traveling around just gave me this very bizarre, like, rootless sense of who I was as a person.
Speaker: 0
01:53:48
Is there anything that you grabbed that from from that experience that you hold on to? I mean, like, to, you know, from there’s just some positive things that kinda come out from that. Right? There’s you like, I I, like, I went to a different school every year of my ai, at least until I got to high school.
Speaker: 0
01:54:03
But I was in the same town. I didn’t move around a lot. Maybe just in the town I did. Divorce and all that sort of stuff
Speaker: 1
01:54:09
where schools were full
Speaker: 0
01:54:10
or whatever it was. So I had to either engage with people, all brand new people, each grade, new school, new grade. Yeah. And then, you know, you’re growing up. I I was I was more shy and I think more like you, like an introvert. Sai either Ai either was very gregarious or I just was an observer and Right. I just watched. So you just make choices and, that’s why I became an observer.
Speaker: 0
01:54:32
But with that, I don’t know. I I like I like that part of meh. And Ai can be extroverted ai I’m an actor in a thing, but I’m still more insular and quiet and Yeah. Even though the two ai guys are yapping their jaws off for hours.
Speaker: 1
01:54:47
Well, I mean, you it was hard, but I wouldn’t have wanted it any other way Yeah. Because I think it made me different, you know. And I think there’s unfortunately, if you are in ai a small town and you’re you grow up in that town and you never leave that town, your perspective is very limited.
Speaker: 0
01:55:07
Yeah. Yeah. And Good time.
Speaker: 1
01:55:09
I moved around a lot. And Ai think that was very uncomfortable. I hated it when I was a kid, like, fuck. We’re moving again to another state. Like, this is great. But that made me who I am. And and and it again, it made me form my own opinions instead of adopting Yeah. A conglomeration of opinions that everybody around me had.
Speaker: 1
01:55:30
You know, and I I went from very liberal and progressive San Francisco in the nineteen seventies during the Vietnam War to living in Florida Right. Where it was, like, completely the opposite. It was super conservative and ai retarded. Yeah. And I remember just being around people like, why ai even why do they even think like this? This is crazy.
Speaker: 1
01:55:50
It was so strange to me to have this, like, complete juxtaposition, almost like a cultural one eighty. But it also made me ai, like, wow, there’s a lot of different ways to think.
Speaker: 0
01:56:00
Yeah. There’s a lot
Speaker: 1
01:56:00
of different ways to engage with life. Yeah. You know? Well, is
Speaker: 0
01:56:05
it don’t we like, especially growing up. Right? You’re just saying, like, ‘7, ‘8, ’13, ’14, all those years, we we those we look to our friends and friendship groups to sort of, like, kind of help develop ourselves and Yeah. Kinda be a reflection upon ourselves. And if you don’t have it, you have other things that you, you know, you turn to. Yeah.
Speaker: 0
01:56:23
But, you know, that could be like you said, it could have been a terrible thing if you stayed in the same place, and you just had the same core four dues, and then how limited your life would have been to staying in San Fran or, you know, the Yeah. And so it could it’s like you said, there’s a real good positive thing to take from being removed from stability, removed from right? That’s all anxiety inducing ai Yeah.
Speaker: 0
01:56:42
Or it could be the perspective. Right? The perspective could be if it’s a positive perspective, you know, and to lean on yeah. Ai you said, I like how I came in the thing and it drove you into all the the things that you probably like about yourself today. I think it’s pretty interesting.
Speaker: 1
01:56:56
Yeah. And then also, like, I got picked on a lot too, in which that’s what drove me into martial arts.
Speaker: 0
01:57:02
Yeah. Boston Daze? Yeah. I was
Speaker: 1
01:57:03
like, I’m like, I’m
Speaker: 0
01:57:04
ai, I’m
Speaker: 1
01:57:04
like, I hate being scared of people.
Speaker: 0
01:57:06
Yeah.
Speaker: 1
01:57:06
It just drove me nuts. Yeah. I didn’t have friends. So, like, a group of guys would fuck with meh, and I didn’t know what to do. So I was like, okay. I gotta fix this. And so Ai I became obsessed with martial arts. And then once I started doing that, it was like ai first thing that I ever did. I was like, hey, I don’t think I’m a loser.
Speaker: 1
01:57:23
I just think I never figured out how to get good at something. And now that I’m really good at this one thing, I’m like the opposite of a loser. And then I became obsessed with winning, you know. And then that was ai my whole life until I was like, I don’t think I wanna do this anymore.
Speaker: 1
01:57:36
And then I, you know, transitioned to other things, but that period of time wouldn’t have happened if I lived in a comfortable environment where I wasn’t fucked with
Speaker: 0
01:57:47
Yeah.
Speaker: 1
01:57:47
And where I didn’t get bullied, you know. Ai wouldn’t have that desire to, like, do something that was completely terrifying because I was scared of physical confrontation. So what do I do? Spend my whole life getting involved in like voluntary physical confrontation with trained ai. Right. Which is way more terrifying. Right. The most terrifying thing.
Speaker: 1
01:58:10
Right. You know, it was Right.
Speaker: 0
01:58:12
You know, but that But what’s the alternative? Oh, just be scared and be bullied and beat the fuck up or That’s why I had to
Speaker: 1
01:58:18
decide. Yeah.
Speaker: 0
01:58:19
You know? You take the reins.
Speaker: 1
01:58:20
I had to decide that. I just had to make this change, you know? Yeah. Fortunately, it worked out.
Speaker: 0
01:58:27
Yeah.
Speaker: 1
01:58:28
It’s very bizarre, the turns that life takes. And when you look back, you’re like, what if that hadn’t happened? What if I hadn’t done this? What if I hadn’t what if I hadn’t turned left and
Speaker: 0
01:58:37
said The crossroads were so so sai instrumental in
Speaker: 1
01:58:42
Mhmm.
Speaker: 0
01:58:42
Who we become.
Speaker: 1
01:58:43
Right.
Speaker: 0
01:58:43
And Sai And then in control of that? Like, we’re not steering any ship at that point.
Speaker: 1
01:58:48
Sai much of it is luck Yeah. Or whatever it is
Speaker: 0
01:58:50
or fate.
Speaker: 1
01:58:51
Whatever fate means. Yeah. You know what Ai meh? Fate is kind of assumed once an outcome has been achieved. Oh, it was fate. Yeah. In hindsight. Was it really?
Speaker: 0
01:59:00
In ai, you can say that.
Speaker: 1
01:59:01
Yeah. I’m not sure.
Speaker: 0
01:59:02
Just say that in the moment.
Speaker: 1
01:59:04
Right. I do think there’s there’s a certain power to following instincts
Speaker: 0
01:59:09
Yeah.
Speaker: 1
01:59:10
Which I’ve always done for whatever reason. You know, there’s a there’s a pull that you have towards a certain direction even if it’s, like, massively uncomfortable. Like, sometimes you have to realize, like, okay, let’s go. Like, this is what I’m supposed to do. And that that is very hard to do.
Speaker: 1
01:59:25
But once you do it a few times and then you start saying that there’s a little voice in your head, like, that motherfucker’s never let me down. I’m gonna keep serving that voice. Whatever that voice is, I’m gonna I’m gonna keep it listening. Even though people are like, what are you doing?
Speaker: 1
01:59:39
And ai like, I’m not gonna listen to you.
Speaker: 0
01:59:43
I hear that a lot. Yeah.
Speaker: 1
01:59:46
I think so do a lot of people that have accomplished great things.
Speaker: 0
01:59:49
Yeah.
Speaker: 1
01:59:49
I don’t think anybody who listens to the advice of everyone around them ever steps out of line. Yeah. You know, I think you I don’t think you ever really try anything crazy.
Speaker: 0
01:59:58
Yeah. You got it.
Speaker: 1
01:59:59
Because most people aren’t gonna wanna support you when you’re trying something that seems insane. Whether it’s trying to be a movie star or whatever it is. Yeah. Trying to be a martial artist or a rock star or anything in life that’s hard to do. Most people are gonna tell you don’t do vatsal, especially people that are conservative and conservative in a sense of, like, to do something that is gonna give you a a good chance of success.
Speaker: 1
02:00:22
Yeah. Because the more fun things are very open ended. They don’t really have a lot of sai Like, what are the what’s what are the numbers of people that become successful actors?
Speaker: 0
02:00:33
Oh, I meh, it’s just
Speaker: 1
02:00:34
Is it ai a tenth of a percent?
Speaker: 0
02:00:36
Yeah. It’s probably saloni even that. Yeah. Ai not even right.
Speaker: 1
02:00:39
It’s probably less than that. I mean, if you could, like, get a chart of, like, how many people move to Los Angeles to try to make it in show business and how many make it, it’s gotta be an astronomical
Speaker: 0
02:00:51
The numbers are not good.
Speaker: 1
02:00:52
Insane. Those numbers, they have to be insane. Yeah. But some my thought was like, fuck, somebody’s doing it. Like, somebody did it. Like, why can’t I do it? And then people would say, you’re not you know what? With the odds, you’re gonna make it. Like, I don’t know. To well, why am I thinking about that?
Speaker: 1
02:01:08
Someone it can be done. Yeah. People have done it. Like, you gotta, but you have to be willing to just really fucking throw yourself into something.
Speaker: 0
02:01:20
Yeah.
Speaker: 1
02:01:21
And know vatsal, especially in the beginning, there’s no time to fuck off here. If you really wanna do something that’s really hard to do, like, you gotta be all in. Yeah. Because there’s too many people that are all in. Yeah. And you’re competing with them. You’re not competing with these, like, half steppers, these people that are kinda dipping in and dipping out.
Speaker: 1
02:01:39
They’re they’re there as an example if you did not live your life.
Speaker: 0
02:01:42
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, isn’t there, like, sai kind of a selective hearing that kinda has to happen in in anything for anyone? We have to listen and really listen to engage and really listen to learn and grow. Yeah. But then we have to have selective listening to, like, how many times I was told no or told I was told I was crazy? Oh, yeah.
Speaker: 0
02:02:00
Ai, like, what are you doing? You out of your mind? I’m like, oh, now Sai was on I knew I’m on the right track when I hear that. Mhmm. Because that’s that’s the that’s the words of a fearful person. Yeah.
Speaker: 0
02:02:09
Those those are those are those are the words uttered from someone who’s scared and not courageous, and a lot of stuff’s in their way. I’m on the right track. Well, not just that. You know?
Speaker: 1
02:02:19
There are those people that would try to sabotage you because they don’t want you to be successful because they haven’t taken a chance in their ai. So they don’t want anybody who does, who’s courageous to they want you to fail. There’s people out there that want people that are courageous to fall apart
Speaker: 0
02:02:34
Yeah.
Speaker: 1
02:02:34
Because then it makes them feel better for their own choices.
Speaker: 0
02:02:36
That’s okay. That’s they got they gotta live with that.
Speaker: 1
02:02:38
Yeah. I don’t. Right? Right. Ai.
Speaker: 0
02:02:41
They’re gonna swim in that. I know.
Speaker: 1
02:02:42
But again, I I think that those things are just ai you need the rain to appreciate the sun.
Speaker: 0
02:02:48
Yeah. Yeah. You know?
Speaker: 1
02:02:49
You need to struggle to appreciate the love.
Speaker: 0
02:02:51
They they have to coexist, otherwise, they don’t exist. Right? It’s like a truth and a lie. They both have to exist, otherwise, everything’s just fucking true. Right.
Speaker: 1
02:02:58
Right.
Speaker: 0
02:02:59
Right? So that if you have to coexist together, otherwise, you don’t.
Speaker: 1
02:03:02
That’s the hardest part of life to truly understand. Like, why is there evil? Ai you need love. You need good. Like, why why did why can’t everything be love? Well, it
Speaker: 0
02:03:13
can’t. It can’t.
Speaker: 1
02:03:13
There has to be evil people for you to appreciate loving people.
Speaker: 0
02:03:17
Mhmm.
Speaker: 1
02:03:18
You know, there really has to be kind people for you to, you know, to appreciate, oh, okay. Life is not just all cruelty and but you have to know that cruelty exists for you to appreciate kindness.
Speaker: 0
02:03:30
Yeah. Yeah. Weird.
Speaker: 1
02:03:32
Yeah. It’s a weird dance and it’s it’s Yeah. Strange. Yeah. Like, if God is real, ai, what a strange game he’s playing.
Speaker: 0
02:03:44
Yeah.
Speaker: 1
02:03:44
But you could kind of when it all works out, you see wisdom in it. You know, you’re ai, I kinda get it. Yeah. Like, he the life is not just utopia. It’s a strange mix of good and evil
Speaker: 0
02:03:55
Yeah.
Speaker: 1
02:03:55
And and and love and hate and and all these things that are in the way that Yeah.
Speaker: 0
02:04:02
Those tests, meh, those tests, don’t they suck?
Speaker: 1
02:04:05
They do.
Speaker: 0
02:04:05
All the all the tests we have in our lives, and everybody has them. Everybody. There’s nobody that’s exempt from it. No one. How much money or successful no. You’re all we’re all susceptible to great tests and great suffering. Yeah. It’s how well you overcome that suffering.
Speaker: 0
02:04:19
It will determine how well you love and deeply you love in your life.
Speaker: 1
02:04:24
And also the people that have overcome the most are the most fascinating and interesting and complex.
Speaker: 0
02:04:29
Aren’t they? Aren’t they?
Speaker: 1
02:04:31
Have you ever met Amanda Knox? Do you know who she is?
Speaker: 0
02:04:33
Mm-mm. Yeah. I know she is.
Speaker: 1
02:04:34
But I remember woman that was, accused wrongly of a murder in Italy. Yeah.
Speaker: 0
02:04:38
I remember that.
Speaker: 1
02:04:39
She spent years in prison and in Italy, and she is so fascinating. Yeah. She’s so strong and so interesting. And I asked her about this. I was like, do you ever think, like, you are this really unusual person with this, like, fucking cast iron integrity and character. Would you be this person if you hadn’t been wrongly accused and spent years in prison and publicly persecuted and then eventually absolved? Like, who who would you be?
Speaker: 1
02:05:12
I mean, would you want it any other way? I mean, I don’t
Speaker: 0
02:05:14
Right.
Speaker: 1
02:05:15
Ai wouldn’t wish that on anybody. Yeah. But meh, here you meet her. She’s so incredible. It’s ai ai is very, very odd.
Speaker: 0
02:05:23
Yeah. There’s choices that she could have made, right, in in that. She could have been, like, resentful. Right. I don’t know how she is, so I don’t know.
Speaker: 1
02:05:32
She’s not at all.
Speaker: 0
02:05:33
Yeah. Like, you know, there’s and she could have been valid in any really kind of feeling she has about things because that’s all sounds pretty shitty.
Speaker: 1
02:05:39
Yeah. Ai
Speaker: 0
02:05:40
gotta and but, you know, what again, what’s the alternative? You should you wanna hold on to resentment and that kind is that the life you wanna live? Because it’s your choice. Right. Or how I like fuck. Sounds like an interesting person to talk about, but, you know, her is it a choice of a choice for her? Did she feel like it was a choice?
Speaker: 0
02:05:57
Like, you know, what shah what
Speaker: 1
02:05:58
Certainly wasn’t. Yeah. No.
Speaker: 0
02:06:00
Did she did she feel like that that made her who she is and she’s content with that?
Speaker: 1
02:06:03
Or I mean, she’s she’s certainly resigned to what it is, but she’s very happy now. Right. But not so happy, ai, complex, ai, a complex, compassionate, charitable thinker.
Speaker: 0
02:06:17
What’s the what’s the conversation if she’s still in the in the joint? You know?
Speaker: 1
02:06:21
Oh, you know?
Speaker: 0
02:06:21
Yeah. No. I mean, she’s still in the clank, and there’s no hope of her getting out.
Speaker: 1
02:06:24
Well, she learned a lot in there too. Yeah.
Speaker: 0
02:06:26
I bet.
Speaker: 1
02:06:27
People, like, what the the terrible choices that people make because most of the people that were in there were guilty.
Speaker: 0
02:06:33
Mhmm.
Speaker: 1
02:06:34
You know, and the and the terrible choices that these people make and, like, what happened to you when you were young? Like, why did you become a person who murdered your husband? Why did you become a person who, you know, robbed a bank? Why did you what what what went wrong? You used to be a baby. You know? Yeah.
Speaker: 1
02:06:49
This is just something that I really, changed being a parent really changed my perspective of human beings in a very profound way, meh, many profound ways. But one of the biggest ones is Ai stopped looking at people as being static. I stopped looking at, oh, Jeremy’s fifty four. He’s always been 54.
Speaker: 1
02:07:07
Ai how I know it. Now, I look at everybody like, oh, you were a baby.
Speaker: 0
02:07:10
Yeah. You were a baby.
Speaker: 1
02:07:12
Like, I I you know what I mean? Like, you know, I I love my daughters dearly and they’re very extraordinary people, but it’s been fascinating to watch them as little babies become these really complex human beings and have conversations with them and talk to them and see how they interface with ai.
Speaker: 1
02:07:29
And and then I, you know, meet people who are all fucked up and, you know, angry and fucking hateful and I’m like, goddamn what happened? What Yeah. What went wrong? Yeah. You know, what are the things that and how do you get out of this,
Speaker: 0
02:07:45
you know? Meh. It’s interesting. Yeah. It’s, you know Ai,
Speaker: 1
02:07:50
I mean, it’s there’s so many trials and tribulations in this wonderful existence that we all shah. And I think we learn a lot through other people’s, not just your own, but other people’s.
Speaker: 0
02:08:04
Yeah. Yeah. For sure. Well, that’s the hope anyway. We can. Right?
Speaker: 1
02:08:07
Yeah. Ai, I think a lot of people are gonna learn a lot through you.
Speaker: 0
02:08:10
With and without having to do it in a fearful way or scare tactics or or Right.
Speaker: 1
02:08:14
You know what I mean? That doesn’t really work.
Speaker: 0
02:08:16
Yeah. Yeah. But it’s used everywhere in media and ai? Right. Advertising and all that ai of stuff. Right. Ai, like, would you do it in a in an honest way or it’s ai, I hope I still learn by talking about my experience. Right? I still learn by looking through the book or listening to the audio.
Speaker: 0
02:08:33
I’ll be listening to the audio soon when I have my daughter and all my nieces and nephews around. They’re gonna listen to it. We’re all gonna listen to it together. Ai I’m not gonna have them go off reading this thing. It’s too harrowing to do it alone.
Speaker: 0
02:08:44
But, like, I’ll be listening to it. I’m gonna learn through it. And but and with that experience and that exchange with these beautiful young creatures Yeah. You know? So Well,
Speaker: 1
02:08:53
he’ll be learning for so long. It’s only been a couple of years, which is really crazy.
Speaker: 0
02:08:57
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We’ll I’ll I’ll I’ll keep keep trying and testing the the limits of of my body and and my mind and my spirit and what I can pass on to others, what I can give on to others, what they what they give me. I mean, it is a ai, high high vibration that I’m living right now, and I, I’m so blessed to have it. I have so much gratitude at every breath.
Speaker: 0
02:09:24
I almost feel like I don’t have to walk anymore. I sort of love it. I just feel so lucky, and, I think it’s has to do with, all the love and all the all the the the goodness that this world has to offer. I think that’s gotten me through. And the the attitude of it, the perspective of that, because it could be a very bleak, dark place. Yeah. You know?
Speaker: 0
02:09:56
But I I choose to I choose love. I choose action. I choose ai perspective. It is my choice. And, Ai I’m I’m I’ve been in dark places where it wasn’t quite so positive and so lovely. It’s well before the accident. You know?
Speaker: 0
02:10:15
We’re just ai, you know, just kinda grumbly and grumpy and don’t wanna leave my house and, you know, I don’t wanna go sign autograph. I don’t wanna be around people or, you know, just kinda whatever. You know? Not a really great happy place perhaps, you know, like everybody has the right to be, but if that doesn’t exist at this point, you know, I don’t get any more bad days, Joe.
Speaker: 0
02:10:34
That’s amazing. Right? You’re like, fuck. I wanted that. Isn’t that incredible? Ai can gas up a snow cap for you one. I can make it happen for you.
Speaker: 0
02:10:43
Isn’t that incredible? Ram more bad days, brother. Right? Wow. It’s sai it’s a perspective that is mine and a truth and a reality that is mine.
Speaker: 0
02:10:51
Because I have a barometer too, like, yeah. I know what a bad day is actually like. Oh, yeah. And I was tested to my limits, and I got through it, luckily, somehow, someway. And, it’s it’s, it’s just a almost science at this point.
Speaker: 0
02:11:04
It’s a factual that it’s just not gonna happen. I can’t. No matter if I tried so hard to have a bad day, it’s just not gonna happen. Sai can have a bad moment. I can have, you know, frustrating times, but it’s not I’m just not gonna have a bad day and for the rest of my experience here on Earth.
Speaker: 1
02:11:17
That’s amazing. And I think that experience, this this perspective that you’re sharing is contagious.
Speaker: 0
02:11:24
I think so too, dude. Yeah. I know actually, I know so. I know so.
Speaker: 1
02:11:28
Yeah. For a fact. So too.
Speaker: 0
02:11:29
For a fact. It’s it’s it’s a it’s sort of make manifestation of what your existence is. Do you want it to be? Yeah. And you can do it. Yeah. But you gotta believe it. You gotta do it. Yeah. Both those things.
Speaker: 1
02:11:40
Sai think that’s why it’s beautiful that you wrote this book. Yeah. My ai breath?
Speaker: 0
02:11:45
Yes, sir.
Speaker: 1
02:11:46
Thank you, Jeremy. It sai awesome. I really Yeah. I really appreciate you. Yeah.
Speaker: 0
02:11:50
Appreciate talking to you. Brother. You, you make me happy, man. You bring out a lot of good stuff in me. You reaffirm a lot of of of good things in me in a really, really meaningful way, and I appreciate you.
Speaker: 1
02:12:01
I appreciate you too. Thank you.
Speaker: 0
02:12:03
It was a
Speaker: 1
02:12:03
lot of fun.
Speaker: 0
02:12:03
Yes, sir. Thank you. And I’ll I’ll see you at the UFCs too, man.
Speaker: 1
02:12:06
Absolutely. Okay. Go buy this book, folks.
Speaker: 0
02:12:09
Yes, sir. Bye, Luke. Bye bye ai.
