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#2296 – Big Jay Oakerson Podcast Episode Description
Big Jay Oakerson is a stand-up comedian, podcaster, and on-air personality. He co-hosts “The Legion of Skanks,” “Story Warz,” and “The Bonfire.” The first installment of his new crowd work special, “Them,” is now available on YouTube. The second part, “They,” premieres April 20.
www.bigjaycomedy.com
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#2296 – Big Jay Oakerson Podcast Episode Top Keywords
#2296 – Big Jay Oakerson Podcast Episode Summary
In this episode of the Joe Rogan Experience, Joe Rogan discusses a variety of topics, primarily focusing on the importance of authenticity and passion in one’s work. He emphasizes that while it’s fine to incorporate social justice themes into comedy, the primary goal should always be to be funny. Rogan reflects on his own career, noting that he neglected his stand-up comedy during his time on the TV show “NewsRadio” due to the demanding schedule. He shares insights on the entertainment industry, highlighting the challenges of maintaining a fan base and the shift towards digital platforms like podcasts and social media.
Rogan also touches on the concept of hard work, suggesting that not all difficult tasks are worth pursuing if they don’t align with one’s passions. He contrasts the “hustle” mentality with the idea of doing what you love, suggesting that true fulfillment comes from engaging in work that is enjoyable and meaningful.
The episode features anecdotes about interactions with guests and the complexities of maintaining professional relationships in the entertainment industry. Rogan shares a story about a guest who was enthusiastic about future collaborations, only to be advised by his manager that the hosts were not genuine friends.
Throughout the episode, recurring themes include the importance of authenticity, the value of pursuing one’s passions, and the challenges of navigating the entertainment industry. Rogan also promotes Black Rifle Coffee, highlighting its veteran-founded roots and offering a discount code for listeners.
Overall, the episode provides a mix of personal reflections, industry insights, and practical advice for those pursuing careers in comedy and entertainment.
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#2296 – Big Jay Oakerson Podcast Episode Transcript (Unedited)
Speaker: 0
00:01
Joe Rogan podcast. Check it out.
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00:03
The Joe Rogan experience.
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00:06
Ai my day Joe Rogan podcast by night, all day. Jake. What’s happening?
Speaker: 2
00:18
Hell yeah.
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00:19
You went with the three nose rings now. You’re getting crazy.
Speaker: 2
00:21
Yeah. It’s getting carried away. I went to go I had a cold, and I think I blew my nose one of them out. So then I went to go get it re put back in, and I was like, throw another one in there while you’re at it.
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00:32
Fuck
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00:32
it. I’m just me fighting age, I think.
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00:34
Is that what it is? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. There’s something weird when you’re fighting age. Like, you know you’re doing it, but you can’t help it.
Speaker: 2
00:40
Oh, yeah. Absolutely. Like, when people make fun of just the way I dress or whatever, tyler ai hair, my piercings to and they always ai, is it gonna change at some point? And I am hitting an age where I’m like, I can’t just do a hard shift one day, but it is funny to think ai, I can’t see myself at 65 doing some of the stuff.
Speaker: 2
00:59
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I don’t
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01:00
know. Why not? Who gives a shit?
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01:03
You can but it’s also like I feel if I saw it, I’d have a million and one jokes about it. Right. But it’s still at the end of the day you’re ai, you know, I walk out and go, ai, I forgot my pocket scarf. I gotta go back upstairs. I forgot my coochlear.
Speaker: 0
01:17
As long as you’re still funny, you can pull it off. But when you’re bombing with red hair and three nose rings
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01:23
Shit. That’s true.
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01:24
Becomes an issue.
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01:25
That is true.
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01:25
As long as you stay funny.
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01:26
That’s why I think when I first started, I tried to blend in whatever I was. I started that black circuit. So, like, I had so much fubu shit on.
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01:32
Oh, there you go.
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01:33
And just, like, yeah, jerseys and stuff. So I definitely played it up. The funniest was having a big silver chain with a cross, and I’m Jewish. But I just really was like, I think they’ll like me more if I have a cross.
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01:44
When I first started, I thought you had a dress like those guys on evening at the improv. So I got a blazer and I rolled the sleeves up and I had like
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01:51
a wacky t shirt that I wore. The costume?
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01:54
Yeah. The costume. Have a button on your blazer, some wacky button.
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01:58
I watched all those shows growing up, even at the Improv, Caroline’s Comedy Hour. The evolution of comedy is insane.
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02:05
It’s pretty insane.
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02:06
Yeah. The evolution of just ai the fact that these guys I’ve watched, like, who always laugh and go back and I went to a Bill Kirschenbauer. Do you know that? Was shah was the guy? Ai remember him. He played the he was the coach on a sitcom. He got a sitcom called Just the 10 of Us where he had, like, eight kids or something. He was like a coach.
Speaker: 2
02:22
It was a spin off show of some sort, but he was just ai a a zany comic. He just would go on stage and he was just loud and weird and to yeah. Oh, yeah. But these were the guys who made the rounds. Right. Monologists. Yeah.
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02:37
Well, it’s almost like their act just got them to a sitcom. Ai, that was a a real strategy back then. You had an act that could get you to a sitcom. That’s all everybody wanted.
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02:46
When I did new faces at Montreal, my manager at the time terrible. Just gave me I mean, he was just pushing the old advice. He was like everything’s like, don’t be yourself at all. Like, write write a set that’s gonna be what’s your sitcom basically and, and dress, you know, a certain ai of dress like first stage.
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03:08
I don’t know what I was I didn’t know how to, like, what he meant in nice clothes. So I had, like, black loafers and straight leg, like, dark blue dungarees and, like, a short sleeve button down shirt.
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03:20
Shirt you with black loafers on.
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03:22
And and and a and a short sleeve, like, blue button down shirt. It looked ridiculous. And it was so dramatic. It’s also funny too doing it as long as I have now. Twenty seven years, I think, I’m doing it. Like, the the hilarious, like, fake emotion you put into things. I remember having my daughter was a baby when I did New Faces and talking to the picture backstage before I went on stage.
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03:45
Oh, wow.
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03:45
Alright. We’re gonna go do it. And then had a mediocre set and all I got from New Faces was ai a MTV two talking head one off, like, what were they thinking? What were they wearing? MTV two presents.
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03:56
You remember those things?
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03:57
Mhmm. Where
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03:57
you would just start talking shit about people?
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03:59
That’s it.
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04:00
Yeah. And they would they just clip it up?
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04:02
They took, they wouldn’t I did a couple of them. They didn’t air most of it. And the one I always remember because when I would go back to MTV for anything, they would always be ai, we still pass the, like, the segment around of you doing that. What were they thinking? Yeah. And it was Fiona Apple on an award show years ago to accept her award. She got there and started quoting.
Speaker: 2
04:22
She said the great Maya Angelou or something, and I was like Ai Angelou. I was like, what is she talking about Maya Angelou for? Look, we all loved her as Wheezy Jefferson, and I enjoy her pancake syrup, but and then they were ai, yo. You can’t call Maya Angelou Aunt Jemima.
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04:38
I’m like, but I’m kidding. But I’m kidding though. I know Ai Angelou is.
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04:41
Wasn’t it funny that they took Aunt Jemima off of Aunt Jemima? But that was an actual lady who was an entrepreneur?
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04:48
Right. Right. Yeah. And they just could get rid of it because no one’s paying attention to why. They they just
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04:52
Sai you
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04:52
don’t dress like ai anymore?
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04:54
They just decided that Aunt Jemima was racist.
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04:56
Uncle Ben.
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04:57
But but that’s true. Right? I mean, this this is not a TikTok meh, is it? Make sure that’s true. Ai might have about I got Ai might have got fooled by TikTok. Ai should say reels, because I’m not really on TikTok. Which part? Whether or not Aunt Jemima was a a real entrepreneur, I’m pretty sure it’s true. I think I think it’s based on a real woman.
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05:17
And I think she just was ai an awesome cook and put together some fucking pancakes.
Speaker: 2
05:23
Some great pancakes?
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05:24
Yeah. There’s a lady. But then Nancy Green, it says. Oh, so her name wasn’t Jemima? Right there. That’s the real lady? I mean, this is the first ads, I guess.
Speaker: 2
05:33
You could tell me that’s you could tell me that’s
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05:35
Hold up. Hold up. Hold up.
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05:36
That looks like racist propaganda. Look at this.
Speaker: 0
05:38
Look at this. Eyes in town, honey. Okay. All arguments are out the window. Eyes in town, honey. Okay. Unless you are an actual black person saying that, you can’t write that down. Like, you know that was some fucking egghead advertising executive to put that together.
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06:00
And the poor guy the poor guy at the printing press had to keep double checking.
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06:04
He was ai, are you sure we’re gonna do this? I apostrophe ai? Okay.
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06:10
It’s how they speak. Oh, I don’t know, man. Oh, bro. I don’t wanna get involved in this. Damn, that was a crazy picture. I just saw I went to a, That’s
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06:20
so crazy.
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06:21
I was looking at an art gallery in Philly recently that had, like, a doctor Seuss, exhibit at it. And I forgot that Doctor Seuss had all those, like, crazy racist drawings and stuff.
Speaker: 0
06:30
Right. What were they? What were they?
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06:33
It was just, like, you know, a a hunter, like, with, like, a savage with, like, giant lips and stuff like that.
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06:39
That’s right. You know, it’s ai the most crazy racist shit that caught me off guard arya R. Crumb. Yeah. You know, R. Crumb? The, like, 70 Yeah. Sort of psychedelic comic book ai. He was very popular when I was a kid living in San Francisco. And then when I was an arya, And I was like, I used to love his stuff because I’m like, god, this guy is so weird.
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06:59
And then I saw some of the like the super racist ones and you’re like, yo.
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07:05
What the fuck? It really is the explanation is like, yeah, it’s a different time.
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07:12
Sai he had some just weird shah, meh. Like, ai like riding on giant women. You ever see the, documentary they did on him? No.
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07:19
But I know what it is. Yeah. No. I’ve never seen it.
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07:21
It’s very interesting. It’s like because his brother is super weird and his mother is super weird. And, you know, here’s this ai, like, wearing a tie and he’s real pervert and he’s, like, openly a pervert, but, like, a brilliant artist.
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07:36
That’s great. Yeah.
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07:37
Very, like, fascinating.
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07:38
I’ve heard of it before. It is amazing though to start I was went to a a musician a musician’s house for New Year’s Eve when I first moved to New York, so twenty some years ago. And I just invited me and Kurt Metzger, And we went to his, apartment and it was covered in, like, Sambo paintings, like real
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07:58
Oh, jeez.
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07:59
There’s, like, black people at the party. It was just, like, meh, it’s art. I’m, like, I don’t know if I’d cover my house and something I have to explain every one of them to people. I go, no. No. No. No.
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08:08
No. No. No. Yeah. You have a lot of choices. You could have puppies, flowers.
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08:14
I see it’s so funny when someone makes, strong decisions if they, like, change their ways. I used to ai, strippers to bachelor parties to be the bouncer with zero skills to handle that whatsoever. I took the job as, like, fat kid that wanted to see naked girls for free, and I ended up at a bachelor party with two brothers.
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08:33
It was one of the brothers thing, and he was covered in, like, swastika tattoos and all kinds of crazy shit. And the strippers were not both white for sure, but there’s also black people at this party and stuff like that. And I don’t know the explanation these guys have to give, but I talked to one of their black friends and was like, hey, is it weird to ask but like these guys are all covered in like swastika and racist tattoos.
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08:57
And they were like, oh, yeah. They just got caught up in some bullshit when they were teenagers. They’re good dudes. I’m like, wow. And they’re still wearing short sleeve shirts, That seems strange. Ai, you think these guys would be in, like, wearing Terrell Owens bodysuits, like, to cover that up.
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09:10
It’s like one of the arguments why you shouldn’t be able to get a tattoo until you’re 25.
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09:14
Is that when the brain’s fully formed?
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09:15
Yeah. When you’re a boy, your brains women mature younger. But when you’re a boy, your brain is fully formed at 25 when you’re able to make solid decisions.
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09:23
What decisions do girls make for tattoos that are that great?
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09:26
Very few swastikas.
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09:27
Very few swastikas.
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09:28
Like, what are the numbers of swastikas on girls versus on dudes? Like, if we could Google that, please. What percentage? Like, what percentage?
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09:37
Sai think it’s just that one girl, the character that Ai Balk played in American History x. Did you I just read a thing recently. This made me laugh so hard. You know this movie Meh History x?
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09:47
Yes. Sai remember that movie. That movie was crazy.
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09:49
Great movie. Crazy movie. Ending is such a question mark on it. Right. And if you recall, like, you know, he goes to bryden. He reforms himself. He comes out, he tries to get his brother out of that mindset of being a white supremacist, and then he succeeds basically in telling him the story of what happened to him in jail.
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10:08
And then the next day, he walks his brother to school, his brother gets killed by a black kid, shoots him in the chest, and he dies and then, he goes in to save him. Or he goes in there and just cries screaming like, what have I done? You know, his brother’s dead now. And then they they end the movie.
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10:23
The director who apparently was a lunatic, him and Edward Norton, like, fought the whole time
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10:27
Oh, really? Over,
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10:28
like, how the movie should go. But the director’s ending he wanted to was, after the brother gets shot by the by the black kid, they were gonna show Edward Norton in the mirror and then with the big swastika tattoo on him, and then he was gonna smirk in the mirror and walk off.
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10:42
I was like, they should have played Back in Black after that.
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10:46
He’s back. And he’s racister than ever. I was almost gonna get it removed. Just imagine
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10:55
being Ai at him. Can you imagine Ai got a Schwarzenegger movie ending to American History Ai.
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10:59
That is so crazy that
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11:01
he wanted to do that.
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11:03
I mean, not the song. But that is Yeah. They should have played the song. Yeah. The image of smirking.
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11:08
The song would have been everybody would have been so mad. Can you imagine if you cheesed it up just at the end? Like, you have this brilliant movie and at the end just total cheese ball curve ball ending.
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11:18
Oh, man. I remember taking a a date to go see a because the girl lost my virginity to, who’s a little bit older than meh, and very a very hippie dippy girl. And we went to go see, oh, what the fuck was the movie? Was it John Singleton movie?
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11:36
Boys in the hood? Fuck.
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11:37
No. No. No. No. It was the one on the school campus. Why am I blanking on it? Omar Epps was in it. Tyra Banks was in it. Michael Rapaport was great in it.
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11:46
Higher learning.
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11:47
Higher learning. Absolutely. I took this girl to see higher learning, and the movie is at the end of the movie, Michael Rapaport goes crazy. He becomes he gets roped into being a white supremacist with the skinhead group on campus. Never seen that. These guys were, like, being, like, hardcore on campus skinheads.
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12:05
But they still got saloni.
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12:09
It’s a science fiction movie.
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12:10
They’re ai white power. Alright. I got a I got social studies in a few minutes.
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12:15
On campus.
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12:16
I gotta go. Oh my god. Can you finish, can you finish nailing these crosses together?
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12:20
What year is this?
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12:20
Ninety five. Ai ‘5. That’s so ai. Right when I graduated high school. And I take her to see this movie, and it said the movie is, Michael Raport joins the the Skinhead group, black people on this campus. A lot of things, there’s ai a black party going on. I think a white kid, tried to rape a girl, Christy Swanson, and then all the black guys go to help and, like, ai beat up the kid who raped meh, and then the cops, of course, come and get mad at the black people and save the rapist.
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12:49
Then Michael Rapaport goes nuts, goes on top of the school and starts picking off, black people.
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12:55
Are in a ninety minute arc.
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12:57
Oh, yeah. Starts picking off black people. One of them kills Omar Epps’ girlfriend, Tyra Banks.
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13:04
Oh, god.
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13:04
And then he’s he gets into a fight. Omar Epps sana him get into a fist ai over and then the cops break it up, start beating the shit of Omar Epps. And then Michael Rapaport, pulls a gun out on the cops when they’re trying to stop him and and I know the scene’s trying to be they’re trying to keep the situation calm sai nothing more crazy happens, but they’re going ai, it’s okay, son.
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13:24
Everything’s gonna be okay. We’re okay. You know, ai he’s holding the gun and then, Ai think Michael Raport kills himself is how that ends. And then at the end, there’s ai a concert happening and they just put the word unlearn across the screen. And you can just hear black people on the audience go, what the fuck? And I was like, yo let’s go. Let’s go and she was like, what?
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13:47
And I was like, no no no let’s go ai do not let these credits start, let’s get in the car. And I mean I don’t know how bad it got out there but it was a yelling a lot of yelling. It was an inflammatory movie. Wow. There’s no point in movie where a white person got their their due.
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14:02
It was always ai a white person fucks over black people and then the cops are ai, you’re fine. Wow. Hey, shit happens, man.
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14:10
You can make a movie like that before the Internet.
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14:12
Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
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14:14
You know? Yeah.
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14:15
Because there wouldn’t be a a million signature proof that this shouldn’t be a thing or whatever.
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14:21
Well, it’s also preposterous, like patently preposterous.
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14:26
Just to argue it?
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14:27
Well, if you you’re pretending there’s a white power group on a college campus, how about ever? Is ever? Like, this is crazy. Like, you found the one that you which used to study. The one college has a white power group in it and, like, open. Openly.
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14:40
Openly. What? Walking around, tattoos out.
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14:43
And all the cops are openly racist. Like, not just, like, there’s a racist cop, just like there’s a racist fucking postman.
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14:50
You know?
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14:50
There’s there’s racist every there’s a racist dentist out
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14:53
out there somewhere. Yeah. But, no, they make it like that. The at the today’s meetings, like, alright. Let’s round up some blacks. Make sure these whites are okay.
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14:59
So crazy. So crazy. You can make a movie like that.
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15:02
I think you still be that kind of inflammatory. They go for it. It’s the best I just watched that adolescence thing, which I thought was a Adolescence. It’s this, new it’s a four part, like, miniseries on Netflix. It’s British. Ai, like, I watch things so open minded and just looking to be entertained that Ai missed messages a lot.
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15:22
But by the third episode, I ai what it’s about a little boy gets immediately accused of, tell starts of killing a classmate, and he’s getting arrested. Each episode is one shah. To me, it’s like a play, and the acting is unbelievable. But the what it whittles down to, it’s apparently ai a from the the videos I watched beyond, like, the show explained, because I look at all those, and it was like an anti, like, toxic masculinity, like, message.
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15:50
And the idea was just, like, the kids watched porn, and his dad’s a tough ai. So that’s why he thought he can kill a woman or why he can kill a girl. Wow. And they shout out and again, this I don’t know a lot of this guy’s stuff other than the basic idea, but they shout out Andrew Tate.
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16:08
And then when I heard that name, I was like, oh, that’s what this is.
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16:11
But here’s the thing, there is that could be a real guy. Like, that’s less preposterous than the white power group on campus.
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16:18
Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
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16:19
Kids that get radicalized. They get an evil parent who, you know, who
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16:24
They didn’t really make it that dad was evil. They were making it more ai the porn and, like, the idea that, like, meh should be in line and cooking.
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16:32
These ai who grew up without a mom, those guys can def if they have a shitty dad and no mom, those guys could definitely be and if you have a psycho in your DNA
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16:41
I had too much mom.
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16:43
No. You didn’t. No. You had the perfect amount to make you. This episode is brought to you by my friends at Black Rifle Coffee. That’s all I drink, folks. If you see me drinking coffee in the studio, it’s Black Rifle Coffee. It’s because my friend Evan Hafer, who owns a company, I love him to death, and they make the best coffee in the world.
Speaker: 0
17:00
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Speaker: 0
17:26
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Speaker: 2
17:41
I ai, my little dad, lots of meh, just tendencies when I ai my step pop, man, he swooped in and saved my ass from really being as as twirly as possible without being into cocks. Ai mean, I was like their prime for the take, and I’m sitting there laying on my tummy as a kid watching Falcon Crest in Dallas with my mom.
Speaker: 0
18:09
Oh meh ai. That’s where I
Speaker: 2
18:10
know Lorenzo Lam is from. Falcon Crest, not Renegade ai everybody else.
Speaker: 0
18:14
Was Renegade the one where he was the karate guy?
Speaker: 2
18:16
He was the karate guy, but he was, sent he was a bounty hunter That’s right. On a motorcycle.
Speaker: 0
18:23
But wasn’t he like a karate guy too? Yeah. Yeah. Ai not making that up right now.
Speaker: 2
18:26
No. No. He would fight his fights with karate. That
Speaker: 0
18:28
guy was
Speaker: 2
18:28
But Stephen Beautiful.
Speaker: 0
18:30
He was gorgeous. So handsome.
Speaker: 2
18:32
I know. It really is the the sadness of a guy that handsome because he got a girl that was smoking hot. And then was it Shauna Sand?
Speaker: 0
18:39
Look at him.
Speaker: 2
18:41
Yeah. Look at him. He married I think he married Shauna Sana, who was, like, a playboy girl. And then they break up, and she gets crazy surgery. She looks like a lunatic. She’s doing she starts doing porn.
Speaker: 0
18:50
Oh, no. Oh.
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18:53
And he still looks pretty great.
Speaker: 0
18:57
He’s had a ton of fucking series. Those weird series that you, like, flip through in the middle of the night ai he’s a motorcycle detective or something. You know, it’s ai there’s a bunch of those. How many series is he’s one of those guys that, like, always has a series.
Speaker: 2
19:09
I mean, the alliteration of the name, he was handsome. It was all ai perfect.
Speaker: 0
19:13
Yeah. Does he have power in his rear? Does he keep the long hair?
Speaker: 2
19:16
No. There’s no way.
Speaker: 0
19:17
Because he still rock it ai Fabio still rocks it. He’s not letting go. Damn. Respect. No. Sai, he’s got short hair. Look at him. Even older with white hair, handsome as fuck.
Speaker: 2
19:26
Ai mean and but I mean, comparatively too, if you look at the meh that was ai his holy shit wife
Speaker: 0
19:31
She fell apart.
Speaker: 2
19:32
They all fall apart.
Speaker: 0
19:34
That surgery is a crazy way to go because you can’t see what you look like. It’s like anorexics or bodybuilders. You get dysmorphia. You your brain starts playing tricks on you, and you think your lips aren’t big enough, and your tits aren’t big enough, and your face is, you know, like there’s some skin on the side of your ears.
Speaker: 0
19:50
You can pull it back, and you could tuck this and pull vatsal, and my ass would stick out more if they put the implants in, in and that would probably get me a better a better guy.
Speaker: 2
19:58
I get a fat ass. I always say I crowdsource it. If the audience will pay for it, I’ll get a fat ass.
Speaker: 0
20:04
Let’s find out what they do because I’m bewildered. So I know that there’s an operation when they take fat out of other parts of your body and they stuff it in your ass and it your ass looks like a bag of cheese, which is
Speaker: 2
20:15
There’s bad ones.
Speaker: 0
20:15
I mean, maybe there’s good ones. Maybe there’s good ones. Maybe I’m being judgmental. There’s probably a doctor out there. Hey, I do it under the surface of the fat Sai ai always a smooth area on top, some wizard with a BMW.
Speaker: 2
20:27
But at this point, there are good breast implants. At this point, there are. They exist.
Speaker: 0
20:31
Yes. They feel real.
Speaker: 2
20:32
But But also they look real, and they don’t have, like, the where you have ai the, you know, you see rib cage between them.
Speaker: 0
20:38
Yes. But here’s the thing. You are, putting something that’s similar to breast tissue where breast tissue would be. So with this, your butt is a muscle. Yeah. You know? It’s like muscle and fat. A male. Why did you say male, Jamie? He’s a male. How dare you? What do you mean?
Speaker: 0
20:57
Can expect to retain anywhere from 60 to 80% of the fat that is initially transferred into the butt. I like when they say butt like that, I really think they’re, you know, professional. Just look at you talking about surgery.
Speaker: 2
21:09
Into the glutes?
Speaker: 0
21:10
You’re calling butt surgery? Yeah. What kind of a fucking doctor? Let me see your diploma.
Speaker: 2
21:14
Now, you’re gonna sana be gentle when you take a shit for the next three weeks.
Speaker: 0
21:17
The rest will be reabsorbed by the body over time. The results you see immediately after surgery and in the weeks following are not permanent. Around ninety days post op, your bond your butt will finally stabilize into its new shape and size. The procedure itself is sai permanent as opposed to permanent as your body responds to natural aging process and normal weight fluctuations, so too will your buttocks.
Speaker: 0
21:40
Depending on the precautions you take during your recovery and the lifespan you maintain in the time following, your BBL may last several years to even decades. I saw a dude at the mall the other day with a BBL.
Speaker: 2
21:51
For sure?
Speaker: 0
21:51
A %. No way it’s real. Gay? Yeah. Super. How dare you ask that? Imagine who wasn’t a gay guy? Imagine straight guys start getting BBLs.
Speaker: 2
22:01
It has to exist.
Speaker: 3
22:03
Hops
Speaker: 0
22:04
sai to.
Speaker: 2
22:04
There’s definitely a guy.
Speaker: 0
22:05
It’s probably a whole website dedicated to like normalizing straight guy BBLs. Daddy Makeover. Daddy Makeover. Just lift weights, you fucking pussy. Yeah. I mean Just go to the gym and do the work. Yeah. Shut your mouth and stop it with your BBL.
Speaker: 2
22:22
And listen, I’ll put it out there again. Unless the crowd pays for it, I will get a fat ass.
Speaker: 0
22:27
Here’s the thing. I think there’s other ways to do it. This was my question. Because I know there’s an implant as well. Yeah. So there’s, there’s butt implants, which is kind of even crazier. Because then you’re taking the risk of having something a foreign object in your ass where everyone’s scared to get cancer.
Speaker: 0
22:44
Like, if you’re scared to get cancer, what’s the place you’re scared to get the cancer the most? Ass cancer. You don’t have to shit in a bag, you know? Sai, like, you’re thinking about these plastic things that you’ve inserted into the muscle tissue surrounding your what kind of inflammation is gonna be caused by that?
Speaker: 0
22:59
What what about the plastic leaching into your body as you’re in the sauna? What the fuck are you doing?
Speaker: 2
23:06
Yeah. It’s a weird thing. You know, I can’t believe they still have perfected dick surgery, dick, lengthening or beginning surgery, but what’s crazy is there are procedures and people get them.
Speaker: 0
23:18
Yeah.
Speaker: 2
23:18
I couldn’t imagine getting a procedure that’s been done, like, under a thousand times yet.
Speaker: 0
23:24
Like, here’s the thing, man.
Speaker: 2
23:26
You don’t wanna be the first you don’t wanna be the first tonsillectomy, and that’s, like, routine.
Speaker: 0
23:29
Isn’t it kinda shocking that no one’s figured out a way to make a bigger dick? It’s kind of shocking.
Speaker: 2
23:34
It is shocking. That’s what I’m saying. I’m surprised that hasn’t been a thing.
Speaker: 0
23:36
There’s the butt the butt enlargement. Intramuscular buttock implants. So now when they say buttock, I feel a little more more comfortable. Yeah. I feel like these are real pros. So you’re gonna take those plastic what are those things made out of, Jamie? Let’s find out how to talk
Speaker: 2
23:50
about it. Those ones are dirty.
Speaker: 0
23:51
They pulled them out of a butt.
Speaker: 2
23:52
Oh, they took them out.
Speaker: 0
23:53
He’s a detransitioner. Okay. So what does it say? Buck butt augmentation is most commonly performed by fat injections. Well, men can do like women’s synthetic oh, while men can do like women’s synthetic filters, fillers oh, synthetic fillers. Oh, boy. And fat injections, they often are less tolerant to the procedures that ai multiple treatments and whose effects are more modest. Interesting.
Speaker: 0
24:26
They’re often smaller and flatter buttocks, are more resistant to augmentation efforts with stronger intergluteal muscles and a thinner subcutaneous fat layer. So he’s saying, I can do it to dudes, but it’s not gonna come out good. I scroll down.
Speaker: 3
24:41
Isn’t it
Speaker: 2
24:42
crazy that the only real endgame of this because, like, what’s the benefit in your ai? It’s it’s it’s More dick. But it’s ai it’s like money. It’s ai ultimately, it’s like finding someone who’s gonna like your weird body more.
Speaker: 0
24:54
You think it’s money for dudes?
Speaker: 2
24:55
It’s ai, oh, for dudes.
Speaker: 0
24:56
Yeah. These are dudes. That’s a dude.
Speaker: 2
24:58
Oh, that’s just that’s just gay probably.
Speaker: 0
25:00
Gay as fuck.
Speaker: 2
25:01
Or maybe the guy was also crowdsourced and maybe they paid for it.
Speaker: 0
25:04
Maybe. Maybe it’s just yeah. Solid ultra soft silicone buttock implants of 400 cc were placed in a layered muscle and incision closure done. No drains were used. His long term results showed good improvement. Scroll up, please. His buttock size and shah.
Speaker: 2
25:23
Hell, yeah.
Speaker: 0
25:23
He’s even probably better in that regard than I thought could occur.
Speaker: 2
25:28
Ew. Do some squats?
Speaker: 0
25:30
It looks fake. Like, there’s a lump. There’s a lump where you have a tumor in your ass, sir. Like, look. There’s like a little ridge where all of a sudden the implant is. That’s so weird that I’m staring at this guy’s butt.
Speaker: 2
25:40
I also don’t think it’s the same guy.
Speaker: 0
25:42
This is the same guy. I trust these people.
Speaker: 2
25:45
Why would the Internet lie?
Speaker: 0
25:46
They’re buttock people.
Speaker: 2
25:47
Why don’t the Internet lie?
Speaker: 0
25:48
They wouldn’t lie.
Speaker: 2
25:49
But the penis surgeries are, like, nutty thing from, like, cutting a tendon.
Speaker: 0
25:55
Yeah. To to make it just poke out a little more. And then there’s other ones where they thicken it up. They get in there with a mesh and thicken it up. There’s a nice nice sauce.
Speaker: 2
26:03
When I when I was, heavier even, I went to I got a consultation free consultation at a plastic surgeon. I was like, I bet if Ai I’m fine with my hard dick, but I hate my soft hang sometimes. And I was like, I bet if I got my gun sucked out, liposuction, it’ll make it,
Speaker: 0
26:25
You take more impressive.
Speaker: 2
26:26
It’ll make it look bigger, soft, particularly. And I’m like so I went to the consultation. It was a male doctor. So, you know, okay. And he gets you I mean, I knew he was gonna have to look ultimately at one point, but this guy, takes me to a mirror. He goes, he goes, ai. Drop your pants. I drop my pants. And Sai I also have doctor dick. You know?
Speaker: 2
26:45
Like, it’s I get most of the ai, so I’m like, shit. And you can’t, like I didn’t wanna try to, like
Speaker: 0
26:49
Fluff it up.
Speaker: 2
26:50
Fluff it before he walks in. Balls. Sai Ai so I, he fucking, comes in and he’s ai, drop your pants on the tent. He goes, walk over to this mirror, which Sai was like, oh, god. Don’t make me do this. And I stand in front of the mirror and he goes on either side of my dick with his hands and he goes, right now it looks like this and I can make it look and he just pushes my fat back and goes like this.
Speaker: 2
27:19
And I was like
Speaker: 0
27:20
His dick is just inches from your face. I was like The whole time.
Speaker: 2
27:23
Uh-huh. And then I pulled my pants up like a victim and left the office and never even thought about it again. That was crazy.
Speaker: 0
27:30
That’s a weird look. He’s just getting in there. And then here. I’m gonna move my face six inches from your dick, but don’t worry. Yeah. I went to school.
Speaker: 2
27:41
A doctor looking up at you? Ai am a diploma. Do you like that?
Speaker: 0
27:44
You see the frame diploma? This is fine. This is fine.
Speaker: 2
27:49
This is a safe space.
Speaker: 0
27:50
This is ai does your dick taste like? I wonder.
Speaker: 2
27:52
Oh, man. There’s no way he doesn’t go out and talk to those hot ass nurses about my little wiener.
Speaker: 0
27:56
Yeah. Definitely. That’s the loyalest dick. Oh, my God. Smells like cheese.
Speaker: 2
28:00
I don’t know. At this point, they exposed so many people. Do you believe anybody’s genuine goodness anymore?
Speaker: 0
28:05
It’s hard to believe. You know, I went down a deep dive looking at, doctors who use their own sperm in fertility clinics. Yeah. I was I was researching this one case. I was just, you know, I just wanted to find out, like, god, how this guy how they catch him? What happened?
Speaker: 0
28:22
Then I found there’s,
Speaker: 2
28:23
like, hundreds of cases.
Speaker: 0
28:24
Oh, it’s yeah. It’s got There’s hundreds of cases. There’s hundreds of cases of doctors doing this. There’s doctors using their own sperm and then people finding out on twenty three and Meh because
Speaker: 2
28:33
it’s just like fucking everybody in the neighborhood’s related. It’s just their kink just to, like, jerk off in the ai?
Speaker: 0
28:38
It’s just such a crazy thing. There’s so many fucking psychos out there.
Speaker: 2
28:44
What are you gonna tickle at ai you’re injecting a girl with your jizz? And, like
Speaker: 0
28:48
I had this guy on yesterday that spent twenty five years as an undercover, FBI guy that infiltrated biker gangs and neo Nazis and bro. Like, you talk to a guy like that and you start really really wondering, like, what where where’s the good in the world? Like, how how many creeps are there?
Speaker: 0
29:07
Like, how many really fucking psychotic people are out there organizing right now in the world.
Speaker: 2
29:13
It’s a wild thing to go with, like, different groups undercover though too. If they ever overlap someday, like and you go, hey, you were a skinhead two months ago. When did you become a biker?
Speaker: 0
29:23
Yeah. Exactly. And this guy is look at him. Ai a show you a picture of him. Just a big fucking giant dude Yeah. With a goatee and pulled back hair and tattoos all over his arms. So he, like, blended right in with all these psychos.
Speaker: 2
29:37
Thank Ai. I used to have a Ai was young, I had a joke about the concept of, like, with the hookers where you have to they go, well, if you ask them if they’re a cop, they’ll tell you they’ll tell you what they have to tell you or it’s entrapment. And I was like, then what the fuck is undercover work? You guys did do it, like, five years with the meh. And then one day they go, hey.
Speaker: 2
29:57
You know, I never even asked you. This is stupid, but are you a cop? Ai, shit, man. Yeah.
Speaker: 0
30:02
I I think that was like You
Speaker: 2
30:03
were at my kid’s christening. Ai know, man. You never asked. I swore at this point, I thought you were never gonna ask.
Speaker: 0
30:09
I think that was like a dumb thing they made up for TV shows, you know, and then everybody thought it was real. It was like some dumb plot point.
Speaker: 2
30:16
Are you a cop? No. Yeah. You of course, you could say no.
Speaker: 0
30:20
Right. Because the good guy who’s the cop always had to be honest.
Speaker: 2
30:23
Yeah. Exactly. He
Speaker: 0
30:24
was never lied. This guy he this he was telling me about he had to do cocaine with these people. They had to beat people up. And he’s ai, if shit went down, man, I had to be a part of it.
Speaker: 2
30:33
The prostitute stings they would do on cops were always they’d get in the car arya they’d be like, are you a cop? And you go, come on. Do I look like a cop?
Speaker: 0
30:40
Bro, this guy got busted wearing a wire and got away with it. Really? They didn’t find the wire.
Speaker: 2
30:46
No shit.
Speaker: 0
30:46
They came that close. He said they were inches away. They were rubbing his clothes, like, checking all his clothes. He said they were inches away, but he was, like, arguing with them. I can’t fucking believe you ai, like, that kind of shit.
Speaker: 2
30:57
After I after I mysteriously showed up three weeks ago, and now I’m working my way through the ranks. Now you’re gonna start patting me down. Alright.
Speaker: 0
31:05
And I’m helping you run guns and drugs to Mexico. Guys, I had a donuts yesterday morning. I’m the I’m that guy. I’m that guy. I am your brother. I’m the dude. And meanwhile, they all go to jail eventually.
Speaker: 2
31:18
Ai, when they do, undercover, it still seems like some like, when they would go home at night still, come out of their biker clothes. Yeah. How was it, hon? Like, these guys are animals. I hope one of them didn’t happen to follow me home.
Speaker: 0
31:31
Well, he was he was not doing things that were anywhere near his home. That’s okay. He would go away for long stretches at a time and go back and forth and he had all these reasons for doing so, different businesses that he did, that he was involved with.
Speaker: 2
31:43
Did he ever, like, find himself I mean, you ai, like, hang with somebody that much time and they think you’re their friend. Do they ever
Speaker: 0
31:49
Mhmm. Get, like, sympathy for them? Yeah. Yeah. Definitely. That’s one of the more fascinating parts about it. It was ai he this guy that he had to put in jail, he’s like, that guy was like my friend. He’s like, I’ve we finished each other’s sentences. We were just like each other, other than the fact that he was a criminal and I was an FBI agent.
Speaker: 0
32:04
And I was like, do you think that you could have gone down that road if you had the wrong life? It’s like, abso fucking lutely, man. Abso fucking lutely. All of us could have. I go, that’s what I think too.
Speaker: 0
32:13
I think
Speaker: 2
32:15
That’s repping to Michael Rapaport in higher learning.
Speaker: 0
32:18
Chatting with the wrong crowd. He was a regular guy with good intentions. Next thing you know, he’s shooting women. Yeah. Super normal in
Speaker: 2
32:25
a ninety minute arc of a film. It was so much so fast. How did she
Speaker: 0
32:30
unless he’s the star of the film where they follow him every step of the way.
Speaker: 2
32:34
It was a Clockwork Orange for black people. They they mean they put like Ai, boy. It’s like for ninety minutes, you just yeah.
Speaker: 0
32:40
Michael Rapaport is his sai is hilarious.
Speaker: 2
32:43
You gotta see when the cop it’s when the cops have him at the end and they’re like, son, everything’s gonna be fine. You’re white.
Speaker: 0
32:50
Oh ai god. Oh my god. Rappaport does a really good job of complaining about things. Like, he’s always got something that he’s fucking screaming and yelling about.
Speaker: 2
33:00
He’s pretty hyped about Israel, it seems.
Speaker: 0
33:02
It seems like it.
Speaker: 2
33:03
Yeah. I’ve only seen hyped ai two things, Israel and Ari.
Speaker: 0
33:10
It’s the
Speaker: 2
33:10
only two things I’ve ever hyped like a rep before. And also, I think, the rising of the black race. Also, I think, pissed him off the scene in that scene.
Speaker: 0
33:20
In that scene. But to his credit, that was the nineties. Yeah. Yeah. Nobody knew better back then.
Speaker: 2
33:25
Well, it’s so funny for him also. If you remember his first big role, great movie called Zebrahead.
Speaker: 0
33:31
Oh, yeah. And he
Speaker: 2
33:33
was ai, because that was more of his thing. He’s more of like ai He was in Do
Speaker: 0
33:36
the Right Thing too. Right? Was he in Do the Right Thing?
Speaker: 2
33:39
I don’t know. I don’t know if he was in that. True Romance, for sure, that was great.
Speaker: 0
33:43
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34:56
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Speaker: 0
35:06
To do the right thing was Spike Lee’s first big hit. Right? Ai think he was in that.
Speaker: 2
35:10
May have been.
Speaker: 0
35:11
Was he in it, Jimmy?
Speaker: 2
35:14
I didn’t watch a lot of Spike Lee.
Speaker: 0
35:15
Oh, he had some bangers in the early days. Meh Better Blues made me feel lazy. Because I remember Denzel Washington would practice every day, you know, ai, he was an artist. He would practice every day. And his girl was trying to fuck. And he was like, no. No. No. I have to practice. And I was like, wow. I wish I was like him.
Speaker: 2
35:32
I wish I love practice more than pussy.
Speaker: 0
35:33
I would think about that, like, as a comic. Like, even when I was a professional comic in the early days, I didn’t spend my whole day writing. I was fucking off, playing pool, and hanging out with my friends. You might be thinking of True Romance. He was in that. No. No.
Speaker: 0
35:47
Ai thought it was this Or, sorry, Anna. Do the Ai Thing. His first movie was in ’92. Oh, really? Interesting.
Speaker: 2
35:54
You’re thinking of Danny Aiello?
Speaker: 0
35:56
I don’t know who I’m thinking of. Who am I thinking of? Go to Do the Right Thing
Speaker: 2
36:00
cast. Turturro?
Speaker: 0
36:02
Maybe I’m thinking of Turturro.
Speaker: 2
36:04
That is probably who you’re thinking of,
Speaker: 0
36:05
actually. That is who I’m thinking of.
Speaker: 2
36:07
It’s hard to see in that picture, but when he was younger
Speaker: 0
36:09
younger. He’s he’s I mean, Michael’s a lot younger.
Speaker: 2
36:13
But Zebrahead, yeah, he was ai his, his whole thing is like a hip hop guy.
Speaker: 0
36:17
That’s right. So
Speaker: 2
36:18
it’s so funny that he plays this, like, major role as, like, a a white fucking white supremacist.
Speaker: 0
36:26
You gotta take what you can meh. You know? It’s acting, bro. It is acting. You think Robert De Niro really was a psycho in Taxi Driver?
Speaker: 2
36:32
No. No? Maybe.
Speaker: 0
36:34
Go watch that movie again. Woah.
Speaker: 2
36:36
You know, it’s ai the building, I lived in in New York on 50 Seventh Street is the old taxi depot that they shot sai driver in.
Speaker: 0
36:46
Really?
Speaker: 2
36:46
And they keep, downstairs, like, where the gym and stuff is, they have the ai still. They keep the sign the original signs
Speaker: 0
36:53
Oh, wow.
Speaker: 2
36:54
For the parking lot. That was a good movie.
Speaker: 0
36:56
That was a fucking great movie. And if Robert De Niro just never gave a political speech, I would think about him that way.
Speaker: 2
37:02
You can’t make a movie like that with a budget anymore.
Speaker: 0
37:05
Well, you
Speaker: 2
37:06
should make a movie. With balls, it has to be an indie flick. A %.
Speaker: 0
37:09
Yeah. Or you have to be some beyond reproach director that they just let do whatever they sana. Ai a Tarantino. Ai, there’s no way, Once Upon a Time in Hollywood went through some sort of an executive focus group. Yeah. There’s no fucking way. He’s killing women, smashing their head on a mantle. Spoiler alert. I mean, dogs are eating dicks.
Speaker: 2
37:30
What a brilliant what a brilliant ending though.
Speaker: 0
37:32
Oh, that movie is great.
Speaker: 2
37:34
It’s so good.
Speaker: 0
37:35
It’s so good. I love that movie.
Speaker: 2
37:36
Sai don’t know if I’ve seen that final scene where they flip history. I’ve never had an audience in a movie theater, like, communally laugh like that since the Jackass movies.
Speaker: 0
37:46
Right.
Speaker: 2
37:47
Right. The Jackass two.
Speaker: 0
37:48
It was a cheering moment too. That was a fucking great movie. He’s got all bangers. He’s the only guy that I could say as a well, there’s a few others you probably could put in that argument that have zero movies where I’m ai,
Speaker: 2
38:01
Oh, they have no like, everything’s good? Tarantino?
Speaker: 0
38:04
There’s not one that I can think of that wasn’t I love David Lynch. He’s made
Speaker: 2
38:08
some crap. I liked a movie that you have to try to figure out, but when you can’t figure it out and other people can’t figure it out, ai, this is just a hunk of shah, dude.
Speaker: 0
38:17
Right.
Speaker: 2
38:18
Like, you can’t be so artistic that not nothing makes sense.
Speaker: 0
38:21
James Cameron’s done some fucking bangers.
Speaker: 2
38:23
Do you watch, like, I’ve gone through on the road and watched, like, the 25 most disturbing movies No. Of all ai?
Speaker: 0
38:30
No. I don’t like being disturbed that meh. Do you?
Speaker: 2
38:33
Yeah. I think so. I mean, I just kinda see where how far people will go in a movie. There’s some I mean, Serbian films the most notorious.
Speaker: 0
38:40
Yeah. There’s some fucking psycho movies. Like, who’s that one that evil clown that kills everybody and doesn’t talk? The Terrifier?
Speaker: 2
38:47
Oh, Terrifier. Yeah. Yeah. Bro,
Speaker: 0
38:49
these movies are fucked up.
Speaker: 2
38:51
Yeah. But there can’t be on purpose. Like, they’re so over the top There was a whole category
Speaker: 0
38:56
of film. I was really into horror movies when I was young. And there was a whole category of films that were just gore films. It was Yeah. They were called gore. It was ai a gore it was so those guys will, like, chop women up with an sai and pull their guts out and rub them all over their face.
Speaker: 0
39:10
Like, fuck.
Speaker: 2
39:11
They also had excessive, nudity in them. Always. Those were the horror the horror boxes at the video store that were bigger than everything else. Like, those, like, I Speak on Your Grave movies like that, where the box was way bigger, so you really had to walk up like a piece of shit.
Speaker: 2
39:26
I’m gonna watch this rape revenge movie with my other teenage friends. Thank you.
Speaker: 0
39:32
Nothing like a good slasher rape revenge movie. Yeah. Revenge movie. Movies are the fucking best. Why is that? We’re so dumb. We like to just sit there and watch this guy kick everybody’s ass. Yeah. Fuck him up, please.
Speaker: 2
39:43
Yeah. It’s Robocop.
Speaker: 0
39:44
Love it.
Speaker: 2
39:45
It’s a fantasy.
Speaker: 0
39:46
Did you ever see Sisu? No. I think it’s my this next to John Wick. It’s my fave it’s probably right up there with John Wick as my favorite revenge movie of all time. It’s about a guy, and the whole movie has no English in it. It’s in World War two. Is it Finland? I think so.
Speaker: 0
40:02
And this dude is a soldier who, retired from the war and became a gold miner and made a little score and was trying to get to the town with his score, and he runs with the Nazis. And it’s so fun. It’s so fun because you could tell this guy does not wanna do this, but he’s gotta kill everybody. And they all get cocky with him.
Speaker: 2
40:32
What do you think the mindset is?
Speaker: 0
40:33
He got gold.
Speaker: 2
40:37
Nice.
Speaker: 0
40:40
Sai it turns out this guy was, like, famous in the war for being impossible to kill. He has scars all over his body. He’s, like, the absolute worst ai. And they found him. And he kills everybody. Spoiler alert. And it’s fucking great. It’s just fun.
Speaker: 2
40:57
What do you think the mindset is between ai like a Liam Neeson who Ai mean there’s a movie comes out almost bimonthly of him getting revenge for something.
Speaker: 0
41:09
Hey, it’s a living.
Speaker: 2
41:10
I get it. But Bruce Willis started doing that towards the end. Bruce Willis at the end started doing that.
Speaker: 0
41:15
Did he?
Speaker: 2
41:15
Yeah. Just movies that were just like two words or something.
Speaker: 0
41:19
Well, I think he was suffering from that, illness for quite a while. You know what it is? It’s called aphasia?
Speaker: 2
41:25
Yeah. Yeah. It’s dementia. Right?
Speaker: 0
41:27
It’s not good. Yeah. It’s bad. It’s real bad. I don’t know what causes it, whether it’s genetic or what have you, but people, they slip away. And he might have, you know, towards the end. Ai mean
Speaker: 2
41:39
He just goes the sky. He’s got a
Speaker: 0
41:41
lot of them.
Speaker: 2
41:41
They’re all like the same.
Speaker: 0
41:42
They’re all him with a gun. Like, he’s just all him with a gun. And here’s the thing, that him with a gun shit started later in his life. Yeah. That’s what’s crazy. He became ai a guy who fucks people up in his sixties. Yeah. He was kinda like Oscar Schindler. How old is he now?
Speaker: 0
41:57
He’s 72, and he’s fucking people up in movies.
Speaker: 2
42:01
Oscar Schindler. Schindler’s List.
Speaker: 0
42:03
But when you’re 72, it’s hard to get out of bed. You know, you’re like,
Speaker: 2
42:07
oh. When I saw Schindler’s List, it made me think of, now I give the prices of everything and amount of juice I could have saved. Like, how much is this TV? Is it about 12 juice?
Speaker: 0
42:17
It’s, what was that that you just pulled up, Jamie? You were showing me? Meh making the Naked Gun. They are with Liam Neeson? Sai guess. I don’t know. Well, there’s there’s a few movies that they’ve people have gotten a few AI things passed through and everyone takes sai real. Like, I’ve seen it Oh, right.
Speaker: 0
42:31
I’ve seen
Speaker: 2
42:32
I believe those every day.
Speaker: 0
42:34
Yeah. I saw Keanu Reeves’ Dracula, and I was like, really? The guy stuck me right in. I’m like, Keanu Reeves is gonna be Dracula now? That’s crazy because he was in the Dracula movie back in the day, and he was Dracula’s girlfriend’s boyfriend.
Speaker: 2
42:46
They always get me with, like, a Rob Zombie’s remaking something you love. They’re always listening. Cool. Have you had him on? Yeah. He was a cool guy to talk to. He was I toured with him. I’ve met him a handful of times. He’s good friends with Tom Papa. We’ve been introduced in that regard. And whenever I see him, it’s the blank of, like, nope.
Speaker: 2
43:07
I went on stage right before him the entire tour, and he has no recollection. One time,
Speaker: 0
43:16
this is
Speaker: 2
43:17
a great story. I was, we had tickets, to go through our passes to go see Rob Zombie’s. I think it was the Halloween, the original Halloween remake he did.
Speaker: 0
43:26
Oh, yeah.
Speaker: 2
43:27
And, comedian Julian McCullough had these passes, four of us. It was gonna be me, Nate Bargazzi. I’m trying to remember all. Dave Smith. Yeah. It was Dave Smith and Julia McCullough. And I’d auditioned for a TV show the morning of that, and it was the first audition I ever did that it went well went really well, and I got it.
Speaker: 2
43:50
I got the, the part. It was the show. It was on for two years called Z Rock, but they go this is how much acting is not my passion or something like that. They go, we need you to come back in at, like, four for a table read we’re gonna do. And all I thought was Sai was like, shit.
Speaker: 2
44:06
That Rob Zombie movie starts at, like, 06:00. I was like, how long are we gonna be here for? They’re like, it should only be an hour or so if when we get back here. And it was going. It was running late when we got back there.
Speaker: 2
44:16
So I told Nate Bargacci to go I’m like, hey. Go down there and get in line, you you know, to make sure we get into this thing. I don’t know if they’re overselling it or not. And he goes, alright. So I get out of this thing ai we’re I’m rushing down.
Speaker: 2
44:29
We’re walking to this movie theater and I call Nate. This is so defeating. I go, hey, you’re down. He goes, I don’t know if I’m at the ai theater. And I went, what do you mean? He goes, I mean, there’s a big line for something. And I was like, go get in that line, Nate.
Speaker: 2
44:45
And he was like, oh, that’s it? So we get there. We’re so far back in line, there’s no way we’re getting this movie. And I’m like, shah, Julian’s very handsome. So we sana him up to kinda schmooze the girl upfront, no ai, and then I see Rob Zombie walk into the diner next door and I go, this might be our chance.
Speaker: 2
45:04
I we just are loosely connected and, you know, maybe I can get him to meh. And we go in there. It’s my best interaction with him ever. I I go up, I go, hey, Rob. I go, Jay Okerson. Sana go, we met through Tom Papa before and Bob, and he’s like, oh, yeah.
Speaker: 2
45:19
And he shoots the shit with us for, like, five minutes. And then I go, well, anyway, ram, I’m really excited for the movie. I hope we get in, you know, we’re, like, super far back in line. He goes, you’ll be fine. Just so Oh, no.
Speaker: 2
45:31
And then we and we did not get in. We rode a hot subway home together staring at Nate.
Speaker: 0
45:35
Oh, no. You’ll be fine.
Speaker: 2
45:37
Yeah. He goes, yikes. Now you’ll be fine.
Speaker: 0
45:39
You’ll be fine as I’m not gonna help you.
Speaker: 2
45:41
Yeah. It really wasn’t a a ai out. He goes, this has been great, but leave me alone now.
Speaker: 0
45:45
Well, the thing about it though is, like, does he save tickets? Like, does he have a block of tickets saved?
Speaker: 2
45:52
For sure. For sure.
Speaker: 0
45:56
Not for the guy at the tyler, though.
Speaker: 2
45:58
There’s some people you just don’t resonate with in the world, I think. Wow. At the ai, I don’t know. Dave Chappelle’s known about Dave Chappelle, I’ve met over the last twenty five years a dozen times. I did some punch ups on season one of, Chappelle’s shah. He bumped me and Kurt Metzger off a weekend, in the thing, and we but we were there, and we hung out with him there.
Speaker: 2
46:18
And every time I see him still, it’s just completely unfamiliar. Chris Rock, same thing. I do not make an impression with these people.
Speaker: 0
46:25
That’s so weird.
Speaker: 2
46:26
I also shut down around celebrity.
Speaker: 0
46:28
Oh, maybe that’s it. Maybe that’s it.
Speaker: 2
46:29
Sai I I’m not I I can’t inject ai personality out of the gates, in a situation where I’m, like, intimidated by, like, some I’m, like, I’m, like, where I go not intimidated, but I go, man, I really want them to like me.
Speaker: 0
46:42
Ain’t that weird? Because you know so many famous people.
Speaker: 2
46:45
But, but you know what I mean by wanting to like not like ai, but I go if I try to be funny and I whiff Right. This sucks. You just feel nervous. Right. So I’m like, I could just lay low and not take the risk of being not funny by accident.
Speaker: 0
47:01
That’s hilarious. It’s hard to There’s
Speaker: 2
47:03
no one who intimidates you anymore? I mean, the people you have in here and just strike a conversation with is unbelievable.
Speaker: 0
47:08
No. People don’t intimidate me anymore. They, inspire me. Some people are fascinating. They inspire me.
Speaker: 2
47:14
Every time I have a big guest coming in that I don’t know sana, me and Bobby Kelly on the radio show and someone’s coming in, I meh, like when they’re like, alright, we’re gonna go get them now. I’m always like, wait. Alright. Wait. Okay. Go get them. Because I’m like, shit. What do we even start with?
Speaker: 0
47:27
I used to be like that on 0. B. Anthony. Yeah. Yeah. When I go on 0. B. Anthony and, like, they’d have famous guests there, I’d be like, holy shit. You know? That’s this guy. Holy shit. That’s that guy.
Speaker: 2
47:37
Yeah. Yeah. That’s weird. The first time I went there, I got bumped back to the couch for Ace Freely. It’s a party who’s ai, this sucks, but wow, that’s Ace fucking Freely.
Speaker: 0
47:45
I met Ace Freely when I was a little kid. Really? Yeah. My uncle was an arya, and he was, working for, this, advertising agency in New York City where they made album covers. So they made album covers for KISS. Sai my uncle was one of the artists that made the album covers for a lot of the KISS albums.
Speaker: 2
48:04
No shit.
Speaker: 0
48:05
Yeah. So I was in his, office hanging out with him during the day. I was probably eight or something like that. I was fucking young, man. And maybe Ai was a little older than that. I can’t remember. It’s hard to remember. But I was a little kid. It was pre high school.
Speaker: 0
48:19
And, this guy walks in with, like, you know, long hair, looks weird. Just like a weird dude. And he made some, like, weird noise, like, like, he it was real strange. And then everybody goes, hey, Ace. Hey, Ace. And I was like, what?
Speaker: 0
48:34
Ai, that’s that’s Ace Frehley with no makeup on? Like, this is crazy.
Speaker: 2
48:39
He looked old.
Speaker: 0
48:40
And he, signed a napkin for me.
Speaker: 2
48:43
Do you have it?
Speaker: 0
48:44
Yeah. Well, no. I don’t think I have it anymore. Maybe my mom might have it. I’ll ask her. I doubt it. It got lost somewhere. But, it was the craziest thing. I was like, wow, that’s the famous guy with no makeup. Because everywhere they went, they were people were paparazzi were always trying to catch them. You know, ai, Gene Simmons would wear like a bandit’s mask. Yeah.
Speaker: 0
49:01
And they were always trying to catch them without their makeup on.
Speaker: 2
49:03
Has this celebrity ever let you down, like, when you met them?
Speaker: 0
49:07
Not really. No? Honestly, no. No. There’s not, ai, no. No.
Speaker: 2
49:12
I’ve always worried about that. Like, Meh Manson was always somebody I wanted to meh. And then when he went through all his shit, did not wanna meh. Sai I was like, stay away. But ai I sana, like I very much would like him. I think he’s such an interesting character. But, like, I’m like, you can oh, I’m such a fan since I was a kid that Ai, like, this could only let me down somehow.
Speaker: 0
49:28
I met him. He’s very interesting. He’s an artist.
Speaker: 2
49:31
Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker: 0
49:32
He’s a, you know, if you think of some of the songs he’s mainly Beautiful People, you don’t make that unless you’re out of your fucking mind. Like, that’s part of the that’s part of the package. No. Yeah. You want brilliant, fucking ai music, you gotta get a dude who’s out of his fucking mind.
Speaker: 2
49:48
Do you have any theories on why people can’t, like, classic amazing bands can’t make a classic again? Comedians can still write their best joke
Speaker: 0
49:57
Right.
Speaker: 2
49:57
And and it will be accepted.
Speaker: 0
49:59
Mhmm.
Speaker: 2
50:00
Everyone’s looking for that. What’s the new thing? But, like, if Guns N’ Roses got everybody back together again and sat in a room for three months, they can’t make Welcome to the Jungle again.
Speaker: 0
50:09
They’re not the same ai. You know, that’s part of the problem. And then also part of the problem is, I want to see Guns N’ Roses in Athens. I saw them in Greece. It was just a total coincidence. I was there with my family and I ram into Axl Rose at a restaurant.
Speaker: 2
50:23
Is that more recent?
Speaker: 0
50:23
Real recent. Okay. Last summer or yeah. Ai, last summer or the summer before last? Summer before last, I guess. And, you know, it’s one of those weird moments. I’m like, god, I hope he knows who I am. You know what I mean? Like, if I go say hi, I’m gonna be a dick. And this is after my friend tried to say hi to him and he got shooed away. So I went over to his table.
Speaker: 0
50:42
And he was ai, oh, hey, man. What’s up? I’m like, whew. Ai was really nice to meet you. I’m a huge fan.
Speaker: 0
50:47
This thing because we’re doing a concert here tomorrow night. You wanna see him? I’m like, fuck, yeah. And so ai whole family went to see Guns N’ Roses. We’re backstage watch. It was amazing. Three hour performance. These guys are in their sixties. Yeah. Yeah. They’re fucking rocking hard.
Speaker: 2
50:58
I saw them on
Speaker: 0
50:59
the new tour. Three hours. But the thing is they have so many hits. If if you want them to do all the the songs you love, it’s gonna take a long time. And if they’re gonna add new songs
Speaker: 2
51:09
Isn’t it crazy too that it’s essentially four albums?
Speaker: 0
51:11
Crazy.
Speaker: 2
51:12
All of that from four albums.
Speaker: 0
51:14
Bangers.
Speaker: 2
51:15
Yeah. Yeah. Oh, they did great. I was pretty impressed with that. For meh, again, the age.
Speaker: 0
51:20
Dude, Welcome to the Jungle to this sai. I’ll I’ll hear that song go, goddamn, that was a fucking good song.
Speaker: 2
51:26
I took my parents to see it in that in, Madison Square Bryden, and it was such a weird I got so strange. The things I get emotional about are ridiculous. I got, like, teary eyed emotional when it starts Welcome to the Jungle, you know, they start playing the riff. And, I got immediately teary eyed because I was like it just took me back immediately to a time.
Speaker: 2
51:44
It was like a time travel, and I was like, holy shit. I’m, like, 11, 12 years old. I got this album. And my mom was like, what is that shit? You know? And now my ai, like, here with me watching them as a classic rock band.
Speaker: 0
51:55
What year did Welcome to the Jungle come out?
Speaker: 2
51:57
Eighty seven, I wanna say. Eighty six.
Speaker: 0
52:01
I remember being right out of high school at the gym, lifting weights. The first time I heard it, they were, you know, at the gym, everybody would just play what’s on the radio. You know, w c o z. And you we were listening to the, I think it was WBCN, The Rock of Boston. Appetite for Destruction, ’87. Yep. Sai that was two years out of high school.
Speaker: 0
52:23
And I was like, wow. Listen to this.
Speaker: 2
52:27
Do you know the first time I heard it and, like, kinda backwards tracked it from there? I think it came out pretty sure it came out first was, the movie Deadpool. Oh, yeah. Or the Deadpool, Clint Eastwood.
Speaker: 0
52:38
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker: 2
52:40
And the scene was Jim pretty famous Jim Carrey plays a rock star junkie, and they’re shooting his music video, and the song they’re using is Welcome to the Jungle. Really? Yeah. You can see it’s pretty popular to see it’s, if you look that up, Deadpool, The Deadpool. When?
Speaker: 0
52:56
Deadpool Jim Carrey. When did Motley Crue come out with Kickstart My Heart?
Speaker: 2
53:02
That’s probably ’86.
Speaker: 0
53:04
That’s that was my favorite workout song of all time. Look at that.
Speaker: 2
53:09
Jim Carrey.
Speaker: 0
53:10
That’s Jim Carrey.
Speaker: 2
53:11
Isn’t it funny? Even though he’s not being funny at all, he’s still it’s like his movements are so Jim Carrey.
Speaker: 0
53:19
You get I guess, you can’t play ai. Like, again, but, like, again, you don’t get to be Jim Carrey unless you’re out of your fucking mind.
Speaker: 2
53:26
No. No. He’s showing that now too. You don’t
Speaker: 0
53:28
you don’t get to be that guy. You don’t get to be ai marshal Bill unless you’re out of your fucking mind.
Speaker: 2
53:34
I’ll make a lot of concession for someone’s process. But when I watched that documentary about him doing the Andy Kaufman movie and him coming into the makeup thing every day and really, like, screaming and bothering the shit of everybody. You see almost you see Judd Hirsch’s face in the meh, like, that’s plenty. We’re good.
Speaker: 0
53:51
Yeah.
Speaker: 2
53:52
I get it. You have to get into your mode or whatever, but, like, come on.
Speaker: 0
53:55
Apparently, he would go nutty if he he fucked a scene up and, like, shah things.
Speaker: 2
53:59
Yeah. Exactly. And it’s ai, this is not that was not his personality when he was talking out of his ass cheeks. You know what I mean? Or when he was doing Vanilla Ice on In Living Color. You know what I mean? Like, that’s what’s that personality shift where you become a guy who’s kinda, like, rude to interviewers and stuff like ai? Like, strange.
Speaker: 0
54:15
Well, I think when you’re trying to get into a character, there’s ai a thing that the some of these guys do where they are just that guy the whole time. Like, when when who was it that played Lincoln?
Speaker: 2
54:28
Daniel Day Lewis.
Speaker: 0
54:29
Daniel Day Lewis. Right? Yeah. So when Daniel Day Lewis was playing Lincoln, he was apparently Lincoln.
Speaker: 2
54:33
Yeah. They said all day.
Speaker: 0
54:34
All day long, all the time. Yeah. So if you’re playing in You shouldn’t let
Speaker: 2
54:38
me you shouldn’t let me eat modern foods then. That’s catering. Right. Here’s your mutton, mister Lincoln.
Speaker: 0
54:44
Right. You gotta go full old school shah in a hole in the ground, sir.
Speaker: 2
54:48
We’re having Chilean sea bass. You? A bowl of gruel?
Speaker: 0
54:53
Some deer jerky. Yeah. Like and no teeth no toothbrushes. Yeah. We haven’t figured out toothbrushes yet. When do they figure out toothbrushes? That’s a good question. Like, when do people start brushing their nasty fucking teeth? Oh, that’s something. Meh like in, like, the fifteen hundreds?
Speaker: 2
55:09
My producer brings it up all the time, because he watches a lot of, like, period p shows like that. And even like the
Speaker: 0
55:16
Like Speak Blinders. What what are
Speaker: 2
55:18
their old shows? They always, like, they always have, like, attractive people in these, like, the deadwood times. Right. Right. Right. Like, deadwood. And then the girl, you know, she’ll, like, lift her skirt up, and you’re like, god. I bet it smells like a fucking murky dungeon down there.
Speaker: 2
55:28
And then when she bathe and then all they there’s no showers, so they have to just bathe in it and just hope that whatever’s in there washes to the surface.
Speaker: 0
55:36
Oh. What did people smell like back then?
Speaker: 2
55:38
That’s what I mean. It’s ai prostitutes. Stuff you go, it’s ai, what’s the best they could do?
Speaker: 0
55:42
And by the way, they probably smelled better than the people living in the cities. Mhmm. The people living in the cities were all just using public outhouses. The the cities were filled with shit from horses. It’s like, oh.
Speaker: 2
55:54
Coming home and kissing your wife at the end of the day is just sai
Speaker: 0
55:56
You’re you’re tracking shit everywhere. And so is your dog and so are your cats. Everyone’s tracking shit all over your house, all over your tables. There’s shit everywhere.
Speaker: 2
56:05
Yeah. Just wooden floors with dirt all over them.
Speaker: 0
56:08
Shah. And just little little scabs of shit everywhere. There’s just shit everywhere you go, and everyone has smallpox.
Speaker: 2
56:17
That’s why, no one cared. And if your wife if your your husband died, you have to marry his brother.
Speaker: 0
56:22
That’s why anybody talking about the good old days, shut your stupid mouth. This is the good old days.
Speaker: 2
56:28
With basic hygiene?
Speaker: 0
56:29
Yeah. Books and medicine and shit. What the fuck are you talking about? Oh, I wish I lived back in the sixteen hundreds when I died if I broke my ankle. No.
Speaker: 2
56:37
But if I could have picked again, for the sai hard because, like, moving backwards, like, well, I would take all the technology of now, of course.
Speaker: 0
56:45
Well, you can’t go anywhere. Then then you you can’t make it like a hybrid deal.
Speaker: 2
56:49
No. No. It’s not a hybrid deal. But if I was saying if if I have to just let go of that and see what what the most fun time would have been to to be ai a teenager in twenties, seventies, I think.
Speaker: 0
56:59
Well, Just
Speaker: 2
57:00
listen to ambrosia. Fucking you can wear a silk shirt on ironically.
Speaker: 0
57:04
We were all real confused.
Speaker: 2
57:05
If you were chubby, you don’t even care. Chubby guys got buzzy in the seventies if you had a beard.
Speaker: 0
57:09
Did they?
Speaker: 2
57:10
As long as you had a beard and some long hair.
Speaker: 0
57:11
And you knew how to get cocaine?
Speaker: 2
57:12
Yeah. And if you knew how to get cocaine? I grow a long pinky nail sai people wouldn’t know my house was the party spot.
Speaker: 0
57:19
Yeah. That used to be a thing. You see a guy with a long pinky. That long pinky nail was ai, oh, that got parties. That was ai when you there’s a bad guy in the movie, he had a long pinky.
Speaker: 2
57:27
A long pinky nail? Yeah. Which is so gross.
Speaker: 0
57:29
That’s so disgusting. We think what what that’s how bad people want cocaine. They’ll snort it off some of his stinky fucking fingernail.
Speaker: 2
57:38
Oh, yeah. I went to a I did a gig opening for Bobby Slayton, years ago at the West Palm improv the old West Palm Improv. And, That was a great room. The guy yeah. The wide shallow one. Great room. And, I forget the name.
Speaker: 2
57:53
It’s Joey something was the guy who hosted, but he was, like, local local legend, this ai. And, he brought us back to his head. He ai like he took us to the strip club, and it was like everyone knew him ai of thing
Speaker: 0
58:07
Yeah.
Speaker: 2
58:07
And then brought girls back to his house. And I am always impressed with the level of, like, a person who carries their morbid obesity with, like, a not give a shit and also have no give a like, no care that the girls are gonna suck his dick or fuck him because he’s got coke.
Speaker: 2
58:26
Do you know what I mean? Like, I’m bad at the, like, fuck me for something thing. And, ai, but this guy, we went back to his house. I mean, his underwear and, like, a robe open. Do you know what I mean?
Speaker: 2
58:37
With all these girls around just giving him coke and shit was ai, but he had a cabana in the back of his house. But the most interesting thing about him that I found out was the next day he wanted to take me somewhere to eat. So So he picked me up, and he was a narcoleptic. And every time there was a red light, he’d fall asleep and snore. Ai driving. Asleep, snore.
Speaker: 2
58:56
And
Speaker: 0
58:56
he’s driving.
Speaker: 2
58:57
And you have to acknowledge it. You gotta go, like, hey, man. Oh ai god. Hey, okay. He just never acknowledged you. He go, yeah. Yeah. I’m good. And he’s going as soon as he hit a red ai, like loud aggressive snoring.
Speaker: 0
59:09
Now is he a natural narcoleptic or does he have severe sleep apnea? Because if he’s a big fat ai, he’s probably never rested.
Speaker: 2
59:16
Eyes closed, head goes to the shoulder. Cold instantly. Instantly.
Speaker: 0
59:21
What is narcolepsy from? Like, do do, like, healthy people have narcolepsy? Like, is there any athletes that have narcolepsy?
Speaker: 2
59:28
He said Ron Jeremy was the person who had it. And
Speaker: 0
59:31
he’s another guy. He’s big and fat.
Speaker: 2
59:32
Yeah. That’s the thing that I wanted to Ai was the he came to the cellar one time with the Dennis Hoff ai.
Speaker: 0
59:36
Mhmm.
Speaker: 2
59:37
Which, yeah. That was a guy of the people, like, quote unquote celebrities who would come in that I can never pay, like, homage to and have, like, the thing was they didn’t wanna meet with, like, a Dennis Hoff.
Speaker: 0
59:46
The the I don’t know why ai of the bunny house. Yeah.
Speaker: 2
59:48
I don’t know why it was so celebrated. I know it’s, like, it’s legal, but, like, I just don’t see his personality as kinda skeevy as shit.
Speaker: 0
59:54
Well, there was a weird time where, for whatever reason, they were ai celebrating pimps and prostitutes. Like, do you remember pimps up, hose down? Sure. Yeah. I mean, that was like a famous documentary. Meh White Folks. Yeah.
Speaker: 2
01:00:10
He was the best. Yeah. I watched all those.
Speaker: 0
01:00:13
But they were, like, celebrated. Like, people liked and then there was American Pimp. Remember that film?
Speaker: 2
01:00:18
Yeah. Yeah. No. It was it was well, that was ai the the small window of, like, pro sexuality and go be whores, girls, and then it immediately became meh too. That’s what that happened to me.
Speaker: 0
01:00:31
Though, because it was the exploiters of those women. It wasn’t ai it’s okay to be a prostitute. It was it’s cool to be the man who exploits all these women and gets them to go be prostitutes for ram.
Speaker: 2
01:00:43
Ai think it took twenty some years for people to realize that Joe Francis was a terrible guy. You know what I mean? He was celebrated as as hell. I just heard a Howard Stern clip the other day where he had Joe Francis on. I’m sure if you asked him about Joe Francis now, he’d be ai, what a terrible piece of shit. No.
Speaker: 2
01:00:56
But when Girls Gone Ai was a thing, everyone was just like, who cares how it gets done?
Speaker: 0
01:01:01
Yeah. That’s crazy. Right? Like Girls Gone that’s how the when the Internet wasn’t around, you could buy tapes of drunk girls at the bar flashing their boobs and you pay for it. Yep. You pay for it. Yeah. And it had ai a production value.
Speaker: 2
01:01:14
Oh, now you pay you pay for it and then you were part of a subscription service that
Speaker: 0
01:01:19
Is that what it was?
Speaker: 2
01:01:20
Yeah. And then every month, it would be like girls going wild, girls on campus too, and girls covered in bubbles.
Speaker: 0
01:01:26
Was it one of those things where they trick you into subscribing?
Speaker: 2
01:01:28
Yeah. It’s Columbia House. Like Oh,
Speaker: 0
01:01:31
Columbia House for titties. Yeah. Yeah. Crazy.
Speaker: 2
01:01:34
Oh, I’ve ruined Columbia House and me have ruined the, credit of my all my pets in my life. Did they get in your credit?
Speaker: 0
01:01:42
Columbia House got in your
Speaker: 2
01:01:43
credit? No. No. No. I’m saying you just put you send the penny and you put ai you put your cat’s name down, and then they just send you 10 CDs.
Speaker: 0
01:01:49
But it doesn’t ever really What
Speaker: 2
01:01:50
was the checks and balances on that?
Speaker: 0
01:01:52
I always thought that that was a fluff up scheme for the record business where they could say they sold more records than they did.
Speaker: 2
01:01:58
That’s possible. That’s actually not a bad move.
Speaker: 0
01:02:00
Kind of a good move if you wanna get a gold record or a platinum record. Sell as many as you can.
Speaker: 2
01:02:04
Give you 10 when it went up to a dollar, send a dollar is where it stopped. Enough. But a dollar willing
Speaker: 0
01:02:11
to give you a penny.
Speaker: 2
01:02:11
Yeah. To me, a dollar really was ai no. I just usually tape a penny to a postcard. What a concept too. Tape penny here, it said.
Speaker: 0
01:02:19
It is the dumbest concept ever. You give them 1p. And if you meh give them 1p, they give you a bunch of CDs and you’re supposed to give them money. You know, like, what? You get to pick them. Yep. Oh, yeah.
Speaker: 2
01:02:29
You pick your first tip?
Speaker: 0
01:02:30
ACDC.
Speaker: 2
01:02:31
It was my taking it was my before I had, porn magazines readily available to go into a bathroom or anywhere where there was a bathroom where I felt I could quietly look at porn magazines, it was the TV ai. Take the TV guide in the bathroom, do the crossword puzzle, and then pick my 10 CDs for a penny. Because it was always an insert on the TV guide.
Speaker: 0
01:02:50
That’s right.
Speaker: 2
01:02:51
It was the postcard. Yep. Tape penny here.
Speaker: 0
01:02:53
And you send it in, and all of a sudden you get cassette tapes are in the mail. Oh, boy. Yeah. Oh, boy.
Speaker: 2
01:02:59
It was so
Speaker: 0
01:02:59
great. But isn’t it a smart move on their part? Because it probably introduced people to a lot of music. Because if you think about it, you’re only listening to the radio. The radio is only playing what they play, and they can only play so many songs. Right? And if it’s a hit, they’re gonna play that hit over and over again. You can hear this, and there’s Rolling Stones, and there’s the Led Zeppelin.
Speaker: 0
01:03:17
You know, you don’t have a lot of time for other music.
Speaker: 2
01:03:20
No.
Speaker: 0
01:03:21
So this is a good way, even if you’re giving it away to people, which mostly are. Like, what percentage let’s find this out. What percentage of people actually paid for their Columbia record and tapes?
Speaker: 2
01:03:32
I think adults would definitely end up paying for it because I think the deal was you’re giving them your address.
Speaker: 0
01:03:37
Right. So
Speaker: 2
01:03:37
whatever the fake name you put down, they’re billing.
Speaker: 0
01:03:39
I don’t remember them chasing me at all.
Speaker: 2
01:03:41
I didn’t feel it, but they have but but what they would do, though, is send you more. In ai They would send you I’d get, like, a CD every month, but I wasn’t picking.
Speaker: 0
01:03:49
Year ai it reaches peak at ’94. It accounted for 15.1% of all CD sales. Yeah. They had 10,000,000 members. Yeah. So you became a member of a club. That was ai what was happening. Right. What percentage people paid them? Well, that’s I mean, it doesn’t say it on here. But if you think about just that, that’s almost ai more radio. Right? Yep. You’re putting the song on the radio for free.
Speaker: 0
01:04:12
You’re sending out these cassettes even if people don’t pay. That music’s getting out there. They’re gonna maybe buy another Rolling Stones record or tickets to see the Rolling Stones.
Speaker: 2
01:04:22
Well, you But people didn’t complain about, being part of Columbia House, I don’t feel like. But it’s like remember when, you know, I was ai Metallica getting furious about, like, LimeWire and Napster and those things? But it’s ai, it is sort of the same thing, ai, your sacrifice. But But it ai it came from a time though where the money was from the recording.
Speaker: 0
01:04:40
You mean, yeah. But the there wasn’t taking away for the money of the recording because you couldn’t, you know, ai, it wasn’t that many people doing it. When it became something you could just download onto your computer, that got weird.
Speaker: 2
01:04:52
Sure.
Speaker: 0
01:04:52
And then record sales dropped off a cliff. So they were right in the but they were wrong that you can stop it. Like, you can’t you couldn’t stop it.
Speaker: 2
01:04:59
Right.
Speaker: 0
01:05:00
Once, like, they were trying to, like, put fingers into a broken dam. There’s no way. Like, you gotta get the buck out of the way. Like, you can’t once it’s on the Internet, when things are on the Internet, you can’t say it’s stealing to download it to your fans. You can’t do any you just gotta realize, oh, the world just changed.
Speaker: 2
01:05:15
But people stay that stand off for a while too, like, was it Maynard? Did not wanna go on Apple Music or Spotify or anything forever.
Speaker: 0
01:05:24
I think Garth Brooks didn’t either. Right?
Speaker: 2
01:05:26
Kid Rock didn’t for a long time. And then a lot of them would try to go and, like, I’m gonna do my own Apple Music. Well, did
Speaker: 0
01:05:33
you No one gets to shit. That. Right?
Speaker: 2
01:05:34
Yeah. Tyler. Did that work? I don’t you know, it’s interesting. When I talked to, Kevin Hart in Montreal some years back, and he was buying up, he was buying up things for, the LOL network that he was starting, which is, like, I guess, an Internet network. And they made all this news because when he did the pitch show where they were pitching, ideas for his network, he apparently in the room bought, like, four or five of them.
Speaker: 2
01:06:04
And when I saw him that night, I was like, are these five ai shows you saw today? They were, like, definite shows. And he was like, no. But it gets your press. You know ai I mean? He was telling me kinda ai the whole thing of it.
Speaker: 2
01:06:13
He goes, but the idea of he was saying he was doing with that, I’m like, are you gonna run a network now? And he was like, no. You wanna build it until it becomes competitive. And then another company comes along and goes, can we give you money just to go away? Is the ai, you know.
Speaker: 2
01:06:26
So it’s like the idea is that he wants, like, Netflix to buy Oh,
Speaker: 0
01:06:29
how weird.
Speaker: 2
01:06:29
LOL or something like that. So it’s just I’ll
Speaker: 0
01:06:31
be a good business
Speaker: 2
01:06:32
move, but I don’t do you think that Ai you
Speaker: 0
01:06:34
think like that?
Speaker: 2
01:06:34
No. I have no business acumen whatsoever.
Speaker: 0
01:06:37
Yeah. That’s a weird business acumen to have. But I’m also But it’s probably effective.
Speaker: 2
01:06:42
I’m, you know, blown away by ai, you know, I I watch you when you talk to Bert sometimes about that about his employment of so many people
Speaker: 0
01:06:50
Yeah.
Speaker: 2
01:06:50
And everything, like, which is great. He’s got a great thing over there, but, like, production come I feel like the, when you get a lot of money sometimes, which is impressive that you haven’t done this, it’s like you wanna do almost ai too much like, well, now I’m a producer of things.
Speaker: 0
01:07:05
Mhmm.
Speaker: 2
01:07:05
And now it’s like this or other businesses you sana, like, start that are ai of comedy. Like, is that what your thing was always? Like, it was never mine. Like, to be ai a business owner or anything or some kind of ai, you know, where I was put have products or something. I think when you merge
Speaker: 0
01:07:20
is once guys realize the amount of money that they can make, they wanna just make more.
Speaker: 2
01:07:25
Sure.
Speaker: 0
01:07:25
And it just becomes a numbers thing. You just you see it, you’re like, oh meh god. I can’t believe I’m making this much money, but if I did this, then I make even more.
Speaker: 2
01:07:32
But I’d rather give a friend, like, some capital to, like, do their special than over you know, I mean, unless I was taking a job in and, like, I’m gonna direct this and see if I can do that. Mhmm. You know, but just ai the idea of, like, I’m a taking in, like I have to take a meeting for a sketch show that wants to be on my network today.
Speaker: 2
01:07:50
I’m ai, I don’t know.
Speaker: 0
01:07:51
You only have so much bandwidth.
Speaker: 2
01:07:53
Sure.
Speaker: 0
01:07:53
And this is what I think people fail to think about. Like, you you you require time to do everything. Your your time is limited. Like, you really have to think if you oh, I could fit it in. Oh, I could do this. Oh, I could do that. Sure you can. But then there’s no you time vatsal, and then you’re running on fumes.
Speaker: 0
01:08:11
And when there’s no you time and you’re running on fumes, you’re not the best version of yourself. No. So you gotta know, like, where you’re at. You gotta know where you’re at, like, in terms of, like, your your sanity. Like, if you’re working all the time, five different jobs constantly, and you’re never home, you sleep till fucking, seven in the morning, and then you’re up gone all day and fucking going going going going going going going.
Speaker: 0
01:08:35
You don’t have alone time. If you don’t have alone time, you don’t even know how you feel about things.
Speaker: 2
01:08:40
But you also get used to odd things. Ai, my alone time Sai look at is, like, the hotel, like, the hotel ram, just watching the bullshit that I wanna watch on YouTube and doing it like that. It is strange when I think I wanna be, like, off and, like, stationary for a ai. Like, I feel like the day there’s, like, a day here and there where it’s, like, morning till night. I just have nothing I have to do. It’s rare.
Speaker: 2
01:09:01
But when it happens that day, I tend to not be in a great mood. Ai don’t know why.
Speaker: 0
01:09:05
Well, it’s because what you do, you love, and it’s fun. That’s the thing. Like, if you’re doing something all day long and it’s just ai business stuff and it’s just for money and it’s not something you love, that’s a different vibe. Right? That’s like a hustle vibe. I sana get these get these numbers up and get this going, and I’m a fucking I’m a worker and I’m sana grinder.
Speaker: 0
01:09:23
I’m a show you because, look, I got this now and then I got that now. See, I’m grinding. But as if it’s a virtue. I always try to say this is a very important thing that people need to hear. Just because it’s hard to do, doesn’t mean it’s good to do.
Speaker: 0
01:09:37
There’s a lot of things that are hard to do that you don’t necessarily wanna do. I don’t wanna climb Mount Everest. It’s hard to do. Yeah. But doesn’t mean it’s good to do. It might be good to do for you because you need to prove to yourself that you could do this extremely difficult thing.
Speaker: 0
01:09:51
But people are dead. There’s a bunch of dead bodies up there. That’s not a good thing to do
Speaker: 2
01:09:55
Yeah.
Speaker: 0
01:09:55
To me, in my opinion. There’s a lot of stuff like that in life. And just because you can do things, I’ll show everybody that I work harder than everybody else. Like, maybe you shouldn’t.
Speaker: 2
01:10:05
Sure.
Speaker: 0
01:10:05
Like, you need balance. You need balance in this ai, and that’s hard to get once you start when you start making money, the big fear is, what if it all goes away?
Speaker: 2
01:10:15
%. You start
Speaker: 0
01:10:16
you start clutching. You start you start having famine instincts. And ai, yeah. Oh meh god. What if it all goes away? So then you start doing things that you think will ensure that it doesn’t go away.
Speaker: 2
01:10:26
Sai it’s that feeling if you feel like you’re running a ram? Yes. Because also it’s something especially with stand up. Putting a price on things is so strange when you’re like, well, I’ve done it for more than anything, I’ve done it for
Speaker: 0
01:10:38
free. Yeah.
Speaker: 2
01:10:39
Then, second most, I’ve done it for pennies. Do you know what I mean?
Speaker: 0
01:10:44
So it’s
Speaker: 2
01:10:45
like the same it’s interesting to be like, well, I’ve done the same job for $50 that I’ve done for a hundred thousand dollars.
Speaker: 0
01:10:50
Do you know
Speaker: 2
01:10:51
what I mean? Like, it’s strange, like, it’s a strange place to be and so, But it’s because and you do feel like, well, what’s what’s it gonna take until I’m back to, like, you know, hey, you wanna come do a hundred doll I still get affected, and it’s just Young Comics being Young Comics.
Speaker: 2
01:11:05
I don’t mind it. But, like, as long as I’ve been doing it, I know they just want you to come do their show, but they’re ai, hey, meh, I do it Tuesdays at the, you know, at the stand at 6PM. Like, Lovey can buy can throw you a hundred bucks and stuff like that. And you’re like, why do you think I’m gonna come to it’s like, and why are you naming the money?
Speaker: 2
01:11:21
Like, if you just ask me to do the show, I’d be less hurt if you were ai, I got a hundred bucks for you too. Like, great. Ai, that feels weird.
Speaker: 0
01:11:29
They’re kids.
Speaker: 2
01:11:30
Right. Yeah. Right?
Speaker: 0
01:11:31
And when you’re a kid, a hundred bucks is real. So it’s real to him.
Speaker: 2
01:11:35
Oh, shit.
Speaker: 0
01:11:35
And so Guess
Speaker: 2
01:11:36
what I’ve done for a hundred bucks.
Speaker: 0
01:11:37
Yeah. So it’s like real money. It’s like, oh, a hundred dollar gig in town? Great.
Speaker: 2
01:11:41
Yeah.
Speaker: 0
01:11:42
And so he doesn’t know any better yet.
Speaker: 2
01:11:43
No. No. For sure. And like I said, I’m not insulted they they want you on the show. That’s great. It’s just the idea that you’re like, the hundred dollars isn’t gonna sell me, dude. Like, don’t say that.
Speaker: 0
01:11:53
Well, I think he’s just letting you know he’ll give you something. And, like, oh, great. I’ll go down there.
Speaker: 2
01:11:58
No. I’d say I’m I’m never I never write back, like, I mean, that would be I’m not like that with young comics, though, at all. I I’m so bad at, like, it’s my the tough time I have with Kill Tony. I love doing it, and I always have a great tyler, but, like, the initial, like, just going at somebody.
Speaker: 2
01:12:12
Like, I feel like Sai wanna ai
Speaker: 0
01:12:14
if I wanna come out of
Speaker: 2
01:12:15
the gates and make fun of them, I almost have to have the look over of, like, I’m just fucking ai. Yeah. That’s, like, I know it’s so difficult what you’re doing right now. I’m in vatsal comedy under the stress of how big that show is now.
Speaker: 4
01:12:24
And for some of them, it’s the first
Speaker: 0
01:12:26
time they’ve ever gone on stage. There were some guys that first time they ever went on stage, they went on stage in Madison Square Garden. Yeah. That’s fucking crazy. 16,000 people and they followed ai. Like, what what are you talking about?
Speaker: 2
01:12:42
Look at your phone for notes. Hang on Madison Square Garden.
Speaker: 0
01:12:45
You barely can get to the one minute mark. What you practice in the mirror is just everything’s falling apart.
Speaker: 2
01:12:52
Oh, yeah. The the the running vatsal ai, that was the funniest. Oh. Like, well, this is three minutes of material or thirty seconds if it doesn’t go the way, I think. Cricket, cricket, cheeses, panic. Isn’t that the biggest, to meh, I felt the biggest milestone in comedy, the action of it, I mean, was, not being afraid of ai, like the crowd being dead silent.
Speaker: 2
01:13:13
Even if I said something that I thought was funny and they’re still dead ai, and that not being, like, frazzling. You know, you’re I don’t get shaken by that. But that’s common in a lot of
Speaker: 0
01:13:22
big sets. A lot of sets where you killed. So you’re like, I know I’m good.
Speaker: 2
01:13:26
Well, it’s it’s what it is. It has to believe the thing. It’s like, I haven’t it’s also like, I haven’t conveyed it right then. Yeah. Like, it’s me probably, but, like, they’re not just getting what I’m thinking. If they if they just saw my thoughts right now, they’d get how funny this is.
Speaker: 0
01:13:39
Well, here’s the thing too. The you know, you’re gonna run into a jazz crowd every now and then, you know? Sure. Like, when you go to see music, you go to see a band. You go to see rock and roll. You go to whatever club you’re gonna go. You go to the whiskey. It’s sai rock band. You know, we know we’re gonna go see this blues guy. We know we’re sana gonna sai a country guy.
Speaker: 0
01:13:58
You go see comedy. You could get Taylor Swift, you could get ACDC, you could get anything. You can get all kinds of shit. You can get the Pixies, you can get all kinds of shit when you go see comedy. It’s there’s so many different ai.
Speaker: 0
01:14:10
To call it one thing, it’s kinda weird. And you could you could be a rock and roll ai, and you’re on stage in front of a jazz crowd.
Speaker: 2
01:14:18
Oh, yeah.
Speaker: 0
01:14:18
And they don’t want your bullshit. They don’t like how loud you’re being. Why are you moving so much?
Speaker: 2
01:14:22
No. It’s what Why?
Speaker: 0
01:14:23
We’re here to snicker.
Speaker: 2
01:14:24
You know, I I stopped putting it at one point for the the small room at the stand when I was in town for the weekends because and this is no fault of, theirs. I know they’re just booking me because I’m home, and they want me on the shows that I can do. But they would put those shows.
Speaker: 2
01:14:40
They would book the, like, the the TikTok, like, celebrity girls, ai, girl comics that were brand new in comedy, but drew the audience. And they was and they’re also young enough in comedy that they’re posting their spots.
Speaker: 0
01:14:55
Oh ai god.
Speaker: 2
01:14:55
You know what I mean? Like, they’re if you wanna see my schedule is like here. So the room’s filling up for them. And I go up I mean, the second I get on stage, you’d see the face and groans of ai just like, a man’s gonna come what laid out now. And I would even try to play with that idea. Do you know what I mean? Like, explain what’s going on in the ram.
Speaker: 2
01:15:15
And they would just they and then my last one I were doing up there, there was an an Asian girl in the front row that I ai, fucking with, like, going back and forth with her, but shah was great. She was, like, into it. She was laughing and she was busting balls back a little bit, which was ai, you know, shah me she was kind of, like, playing around with it.
Speaker: 2
01:15:34
And then, I see another girl, you know, 22 years old or whatever, 23 going into her phone, and I was like, oh, I lost you already. I go, I lost you. And she goes, maybe it has something to do with the Asian girl thing. And I was like, why? Because you called her Asian girl.
Speaker: 2
01:15:51
I was like, wait, but she’s fine. I go, are you you’re getting upset on her behalf and she’s fine? And she was like, yeah. And I was like, that’s retarded. And then a lady in the back of the room stood up, lady a girl, and literally clutched her jacket together and went, you just said the r word.
Speaker: 2
01:16:10
And I went, the manager was in the room, and I was like, can you take me off the schedule for the rest of this weekend up here? I go, I’m not even mad at this crowd. I’m like, they you have to give this crowd what they want. If you put on a three week open mic gay comic up here right now, he’d murder. Like, read the room of what you’re booking. You know what I mean?
Speaker: 2
01:16:28
It’s like you have to see what’s happening. It’s like you’re putting me up there. This isn’t fun for me and it’s not fair to them. Ai, they’ve been sold a show that’s not what I do. Right. So I don’t have any kinda ai gripe on them. Just like don’t put me on those shows.
Speaker: 2
01:16:39
Yeah.
Speaker: 0
01:16:39
You shouldn’t be on that show.
Speaker: 2
01:16:40
Let’s get people into it. You’re you’re fucking up your your audience is actually gonna like the club less because they think I’m the piece of shit that’s always here.
Speaker: 0
01:16:48
But then there’s another argument where you gotta kinda do all kinds of crowds. Of course. Because if you only do your own crowd like, one of the things that happens to guys is they start doing theaters and they do real well, and then they bring a lame opening act, and then they’re only playing to their crowd.
Speaker: 2
01:17:04
Oh, yeah.
Speaker: 0
01:17:04
And you see the drop off. You see this, like, weird creativity drop off. You see the weird impact. They’re not killing as hard.
Speaker: 2
01:17:10
Mhmm.
Speaker: 0
01:17:10
Everything’s a little fake and forced. And it’s it’s pretty noticeable and normal. It’s ai normal. It happens a lot. If you’re not doing clubs Well, I
Speaker: 2
01:17:19
was gonna say if you’re in theaters, you’re just you’re removed from the audience.
Speaker: 0
01:17:21
You gotta mix it up. You have to be doing little little room sometimes. I think it’s like if you’re an athlete, you have to lift weights. You know what I mean? I think there’s there’s something to that.
Speaker: 2
01:17:30
Oh, yeah. I like to go, do crowds that aren’t my crowds plenty. You know what I mean? I mean,
Speaker: 0
01:17:36
But Sai mean, just different sizes too. Right?
Speaker: 2
01:17:38
Like Oh, yeah. Without a doubt.
Speaker: 0
01:17:39
Yeah. Sometimes, like, one of the great things about the store was, like, you could come in there on an off night, like a Tuesday night and do, like, a 1AM set. Yeah. And when you’re doing a 1AM set, there’s, like, 25 fucking people in the ram. Sure. And you you just, like, you get to and they’ve seen everything.
Speaker: 0
01:17:55
They’ve seen five hours of fucking stand up. They came from Kansas. They’ve seen five hours of comedy and most of the audience is gone.
Speaker: 2
01:18:02
It’s a shame from a comics perspective. I ai, from a business perspective, it’s great. But ai the comedy tyler, like it’s funny for people to not even know anymore or meh. There was a time when I got into the Comedy Cellar, there was still when you went on at 02:00 in the morning, there could be 15 people in the audience.
Speaker: 2
01:18:18
Right. And now it’s show lets people out, another show, another show. So it’s like it’s, it’s always sold out and packed. But, like, there was something to that that was kinda like that was the training ground. I go up after Dave Attell almost every night of the week in front of 15 people was ai, that was great training. You do need that for sure.
Speaker: 2
01:18:36
And you and I still need that. It’s it’s not so much that or just saying the I said take me out of that room because it’s always this audience and it’s just like you’re putting them through a thing they don’t need to be put through. Right. That’s I’ll go downstairs downstairs isn’t my audience either. I’m just ai, just put me in the room where it’s not been sold as this one thing.
Speaker: 0
01:18:54
Right. Well, that’s that’s the problem with, like, some clubs that have restrictions on what you could say on the stage. Like, why no. No. No. You just can’t book this guy. Right. Like, there’s a club. Where is it? Is it in Portland or Seattle? There’s some club that these guys got to.
Speaker: 0
01:19:10
Duncan got to, and he sent me a photo of a a list of all the things that you can’t talk about. We don’t tolerate at this club, we don’t tolerate racism, sexism, transphobia, like, okay.
Speaker: 2
01:19:20
I wonder if it’s the one that, like I don’t
Speaker: 0
01:19:23
know what it is. We don’t probably don’t even say need to say the name.
Speaker: 2
01:19:26
Oh, I don’t know the name of the
Speaker: 0
01:19:27
people in trouble.
Speaker: 2
01:19:27
I don’t know the name of the place, but there was a
Speaker: 0
01:19:29
But just don’t book people that you know what the fuck they do, and don’t book anybody that’s not you. If you have a specific crowd you’re trying to cater to, that’s your prerogative. No problem with that. Sure. Just book the comedians that fit. Don’t don’t, like, have a list of shit someone can’t say once they get there.
Speaker: 2
01:19:48
Ai, that’s crazy. Assume that if you’re booking somebody though that you’d have put those rules for, it’s ai, you have to like I always like that thing. It’s like trust the comic to be like a professional. Not that they’ll always come through in that regard, but, like, you know, you could put you could put me on stage anywhere and assume it’s not gonna end with me being a fuck you fuck you with the audience.
Speaker: 2
01:20:07
Right.
Speaker: 0
01:20:07
You know what
Speaker: 2
01:20:07
I mean? Like, we’ll get out of it. Right. You’ll have fun. Relatively pleasant.
Speaker: 0
01:20:10
Well, you’re a guy that’s very flexible on stage, which is just a huge benefit. You can always fuck around with people and and engage with the crowd. Sure. Like, you’re so good at it. You’re one of the best in the business at it for sure.
Speaker: 2
01:20:21
Oh, thank you.
Speaker: 0
01:20:22
You’re really good at it. But it’s also fun and jovial. You know how to tie it all together. That’s a giant skill if you’re doing a bunch of different kinds of rooms and different kinds of places. But when when a club owner or someone says that you can’t breach certain topics because that’s what you’re saying. If you’re saying we don’t tolerate racism, listen.
Speaker: 0
01:20:41
I don’t either. But that’s not what jokes are. And there’s a way to touch on race that a super ultra sensitive person would say is racism, and another person who’s more objective would say, no. This is just making fun of the differences we all have and how crazy it is that we would think that anyone is superior to the others.
Speaker: 0
01:21:02
There’s ways to do that. And to say that, you know, that’s racist. We don’t tolerate racism. Like, well, what did you what do you call it? So you can’t just define what the you can’t define hate speech because that’s your definition. You force me to go with your definition.
Speaker: 2
01:21:18
Yeah. It can’t be opinion based.
Speaker: 0
01:21:20
It can’t. So you just gotta let people speak freely, and then you decide who you book or don’t book, but know what the fuck they do. That’s part of your job. Part of your job as someone who books a fucking theater is, okay, if you have a theater, you own the theater, you don’t want anybody come performing that doesn’t meet your expectations, that’s great.
Speaker: 2
01:21:40
One of the funniest things is I’m always blown away by is the people in the audience who are hating the shah, which is fine. That happens. You know, some people come, they didn’t know what they were coming She’s
Speaker: 0
01:21:51
usually girlfriends.
Speaker: 2
01:21:52
Ai into.
Speaker: 0
01:21:52
Sure. Girlfriends get dragged. Yeah. Podcast fan.
Speaker: 2
01:21:55
Which I also tend to, like, take their side. If I see that happening, I try to do that. I’m like, why ai he make you come? You know, why did he put you through this kind of thing? Yeah. Is, is how we’ll usually approach that. But when you see those faces, when they if someone like that gets shitty and stuff, it’s sai I’m always surprised how aggressive they are when they realize that they’re the the minority.
Speaker: 2
01:22:16
Right. You know what I mean? It’s like Sai don’t know because you’re you suck and you’re not funny. It’s such a funny thing to shift. How much you can make that person an enemy of the room by just going, she’s saying all of you are stupid as shit because you’re laughing at it.
Speaker: 2
01:22:29
Then just they’ll hate her for you.
Speaker: 0
01:22:31
Well, there’s always gonna be a you suck and you’re not funny person in the world.
Speaker: 2
01:22:35
Yeah. Well, that’s a skill you have to get that poor girl. That poor girl and that had the video of her skits sana out on the guy in the audience.
Speaker: 0
01:22:43
Oh, yeah. That was that was unfortunate.
Speaker: 2
01:22:46
People piled on on her, which was very fucked up. Wow. She’s ai death I mean, why would you death threaten someone who had a bad time on stage? It seems weird. But she but again, that’s the that’s the situation of, getting an audience, before you’re ready to handle all situations.
Speaker: 2
01:23:02
Because the the thing about that was the heckle on that video is, I mean heckling one zero one ai the thing you should be able to handle is someone going you’re not funny. Right. I’m funny. You want me to tell the joke ai
Speaker: 0
01:23:15
Right.
Speaker: 2
01:23:15
Give me the microphone. This is all like I said these are the lobs they throw you at a pitching, you know, the batting practice to fucking do crowd work.
Speaker: 0
01:23:22
It’s day one of karate clubs.
Speaker: 2
01:23:23
They’re saying you suck and you’re not funny.
Speaker: 0
01:23:25
Like,
Speaker: 2
01:23:26
come on. You know, right away you could see him. He’s right in the front. Yeah. Like, you could pick him apart visually or ask him a few questions, make him look dumb. There’s just ways to but she wasn’t composed because she was leaning into that with, like, why I got this whole crowd behind meh, but it just looks like a lunatic.
Speaker: 2
01:23:41
Ai, when she put it out to the world, everyone’s ai, you’re crazy in this crowd.
Speaker: 0
01:23:45
She put it out herself? Yes.
Speaker: 2
01:23:46
That’s the only reason I thought it was fair to talk about it at all.
Speaker: 0
01:23:49
Yeah. Well, you know
Speaker: 2
01:23:51
If it was someone filming her and being ai, look at this dumb bitch or something, I I would be I don’t know if I would have went at it because I’d be like, I would if I talked about it, I would be like, it’s fucked up that somebody did that. Like, you’re posting her fucking although, that sai, I mean, I’ve watched Pablo Francisco fall off stage 7,000 times. What’s that? What’s that, sir? What’s that said?
Speaker: 2
01:24:11
I need to Yeah.
Speaker: 0
01:24:12
I’ve seen that too. Poor Pablo. Funny dude, though. Funny funny. Funny motherfucker. Yeah, man. The thing about that girl is ai, she ran into all of the fuck you, you’re not funny people in the world. Right. See, if you have a crowd of 200 people and you got one fuck you, you’re not funny girl, that’s one thing.
Speaker: 0
01:24:31
But if you scale that out to the entire Internet, that is so many fuck you, you’re not funny people. And those are the ones who are gonna comment. You know, there’s plenty of people that saw that video, like you and me, who were ai, oh, god. But you didn’t comment. No.
Speaker: 2
01:24:47
So
Speaker: 0
01:24:47
who’s commenting? The fuck you, you’re not funny people. Yeah. Yeah. So when there’s 30,000,000 people seeing a video, you’re gonna get 13,000 plus fuck you, you’re not funny people who post constantly. No. Yeah. So he’s gonna post ten, fifteen times. They’re gonna be arguing with people in the comments telling you how you should kill yourself.
Speaker: 2
01:25:05
Yeah.
Speaker: 0
01:25:05
Yeah. You gotta hide. You can’t and most people don’t. Most people go online and they read all the things. Like, oh, my God. What are they saying about me? You gotta just get offline.
Speaker: 2
01:25:14
Well, then there was another, I think an Asian girl doing an open mic who they had a video of her, like, throwing shit around and smashing stuff and Well, she’s fighting the patriarchy.
Speaker: 3
01:25:23
So let her
Speaker: 0
01:25:23
let her lash out.
Speaker: 2
01:25:25
But just I almost wonder remember that was the fear. They were, like, people try to create viral moments, so heckling will become like, people go to comedy clubs, like, I’m gonna heckle and make a moment.
Speaker: 0
01:25:34
Yeah.
Speaker: 2
01:25:34
It’s also a thing about, like, comics that are just trying to find a, like, a lose their shit moment on stage also. Oh, wow. Do you
Speaker: 0
01:25:41
know what
Speaker: 2
01:25:41
I mean? Like I think so? Yeah. With, like, look at not even for a thing. Not trying to not keep it funny, but, like, let me
Speaker: 0
01:25:46
Let me go viral.
Speaker: 2
01:25:47
Go at somebody, like, really hard. You know what I mean?
Speaker: 0
01:25:50
Yes. Well, some some people are just socially retarded and they think they’re really good at it and they’re just not. They’re not really good at communicating. They think they are. And then they’re screaming at the fucking fucking A fake anger is hilarious.
Speaker: 2
01:26:03
Fake anger is the best. Especially when it’s a joke that’s been told for like ten years and you’re like, you can’t be pissed about this. You know
Speaker: 0
01:26:08
what the craziest ai moment was ever in comedy? Heather McDonald making jokes about vaccines and then blacking out blacking out and banging her head. I only say this because she’s okay. But I think she cracked her skull. I think she fractured her skull. I mean, her head fucking bounces off that hard stage.
Speaker: 0
01:26:25
And it looked to the audience like this was like a pratfall.
Speaker: 2
01:26:28
Oh, yeah.
Speaker: 0
01:26:28
This is a part of the bit. The timing was so good that it looked like a bit.
Speaker: 2
01:26:33
Yeah. They were laughing about.
Speaker: 0
01:26:35
And then they were like, oh oh ai God. She really did just blackout.
Speaker: 2
01:26:40
Yeah. They almost laughed for a saloni. Like, okay, Heather. That’s plenty. That’s good.
Speaker: 0
01:26:44
Historians will study that video. They will not they might be proof of the simulation. That video might be proof of the simulation. Because there’s it just doesn’t make sense. Is it like unless God has some amazing sense of humor, some amazing sense of humor.
Speaker: 2
01:26:59
That’s a good, my favorite my favorite, stage moment on is still that classic. This is before YouTube and stuff. The the look of these biceps guy at the Boston Comedy Club. Ai you ever see that? No. What happened? It’s it’s an open mic.
Speaker: 2
01:27:15
He’s definitely ai out the video he’s getting heckled by a a girl who also went on stage, but she did well. You know, she has her friends there clearly.
Speaker: 0
01:27:23
Mhmm.
Speaker: 2
01:27:24
And, so she did well. And this guy is just like his comedy is all written. He came out of the gates. You know, when you’ve kind of fake alpha on stage right away.
Speaker: 0
01:27:34
Oh, no.
Speaker: 2
01:27:34
So he’s just he’s got these jokes. It’s like one’s like a racist joke. He tells at one point and it’s just his whole personality is just he gives off a bad vibe for sure. So he sucks and this girl in the audience sucks. And when he can’t take any more of her heckling, he just goes she’s just somebody you can’t even get a girl.
Speaker: 2
01:27:52
He goes, you think I can’t get a girl? Look at his bicep. And it’s so it’s such a break and he means it. He meh if you look up look at his biceps, you’ll find
Speaker: 0
01:28:01
it pretty easily. That’s all it took.
Speaker: 2
01:28:02
It’s so old, but this is the old Boston Comedy Club in the village.
Speaker: 0
01:28:06
Oh, that’s funny. That place was great.
Speaker: 2
01:28:07
Place was yeah.
Speaker: 0
01:28:08
This guy?
Speaker: 2
01:28:09
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker: 0
01:28:10
Oh, he looks crazy. We’re doing fucking 5¢. You think I can’t meet a girl? Oh my god. Anyway, before I snap, you start drawing stools all over the place. I don’t know if you need anything. What year is that from? It looks like the nineties. Yeah. I found this just over 10 years old.
Speaker: 0
01:28:32
So it’s
Speaker: 2
01:28:32
Yeah. It’s, it’s late nineties or early two thousand.
Speaker: 0
01:28:35
Android phone from the nineties?
Speaker: 2
01:28:36
Actually, no. It wasn’t. It was February because it was called Comedy Village at that point. Still, they changed the name. Oh. So it was the early two thousands.
Speaker: 0
01:28:43
So that’s the old Boston Comedy Club?
Speaker: 2
01:28:45
Mhmm. Wow.
Speaker: 0
01:28:46
Dude, that
Speaker: 2
01:28:46
was Sai was working
Speaker: 0
01:28:48
in that place back when Neil Brennan was a door guy.
Speaker: 2
01:28:51
Yeah.
Speaker: 0
01:28:51
Yeah. Yeah. I became friends with Neil when he was a door guy. It’s hilarious.
Speaker: 2
01:28:55
Kevin was already rolling? Kevin Brennan?
Speaker: 0
01:28:59
I don’t know. I don’t Kevin Brennan was yeah. He was around then. I think he was already doing stand up.
Speaker: 2
01:29:04
Well, Kevin was the first one Yeah. To do stand up.
Speaker: 0
01:29:07
Oh, for sure. Yeah. He was definitely way before Neil.
Speaker: 2
01:29:10
And then Neil. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That place was a great class where they went first
Speaker: 0
01:29:12
to go west to Shah did that do? Little club that was.
Speaker: 2
01:29:15
The Barrie Vatsal. Yeah. All the clients worked there. Were you a Barrie Katz client ever?
Speaker: 0
01:29:19
No. Never.
Speaker: 2
01:29:19
Steer clear?
Speaker: 0
01:29:20
I’ve been no. I just been with the same manager since I was an open miker.
Speaker: 2
01:29:23
No shit. Yeah. Wow. Back in Boston.
Speaker: 0
01:29:26
Well, he found me in Boston. He was a New York guy. That’s why I moved to New York.
Speaker: 2
01:29:30
No shit? Yeah.
Speaker: 0
01:29:30
I wasn’t even supposed to go on stage that night. Oh, so lucky. Because I would have panicked and I would have choked. I didn’t know he was in the room. I had no idea. So he had come he was he used to manage Bob Nelson. Remember Bob Nelson? Yeah. Hell yeah.
Speaker: 0
01:29:42
So Bob Nelson,
Speaker: 2
01:29:43
That’s Philly guy, I believe.
Speaker: 0
01:29:44
He became very Christian and he was gonna have his his ai partner, his his guy become his manager. He had this guy that they were brothers in
Speaker: 2
01:29:54
Christ. Oh, jeez.
Speaker: 0
01:29:55
And so Sussman was looking for new clients and he thought he saw saw everybody that that he could see in New York at the time. And so he had a good friend, that was taking a trip to Boston and so he went with him. And he said, I’m gonna, you know, set up some, shows at some of these comedy clubs.
Speaker: 0
01:30:10
So they had all the low local Boston headliners, like, big name guys from the town would all perform for him. And, I was working driving limos at the time and, I I while I was driving, I would come up with some of my best ideas sometimes because, you know, you didn’t listen to the radio, I would just drive because you you couldn’t listen to the radio while you had clients.
Speaker: 2
01:30:31
Yeah.
Speaker: 0
01:30:32
And so, some of my best ideas came from just driving around. I had this fucking ai. I’m like, oh, my God. I think this would work. And sai, I called up my friend who was the manager and I said, hey dude, do you think I could get a guest spot tonight? And he’s like, yeah, absolutely. So he hooks me up. I have no idea. I go downstairs.
Speaker: 0
01:30:49
This guy who’s becomes my manager is walking out of the room to go to another club, which is down the street, and he hears me killing. And so he comes back downstairs, and he watched my whole set. And I would have never done what I did. How long
Speaker: 2
01:31:02
he do
Speaker: 0
01:31:03
a comedy
Speaker: 2
01:31:03
at this point? Three years. That’s fast.
Speaker: 0
01:31:07
Yeah. Three years. So, but I was pretty I had some good sex jokes. I had some great jokes that would kill, and I would have never done them if he was in the room. Oh, because everybody had to be clean back then. That was ai, you gotta be clean. You gotta be clean. And I was like
Speaker: 2
01:31:23
You had good success in, like, acting stuff. Was that your when you got into it sai I I know when I got into it, Ai thought it was interesting was I started to do stand up comedy. It took me a long time to realize that Sai love broadcasting. I think it scratches the same itch for meh. Broadcasting is ai.
Speaker: 2
01:31:39
Sai didn’t never got into it to act or all these different other things. So but as soon as you get into it, especially when you have a manager, you just see the industry unfold. You see everyone’s like, you don’t have a commercial agent, you gotta go out and audition for commercial.
Speaker: 2
01:31:51
And all these things that I was like meh that I was ai, instead of doing that Ai just gonna keep doing the black circuit because Sai ai some money there. Like I was getting a couple bucks, you know, enough to survive, on shows and that and then I’ll just go hang out the mainstream rooms, you know, at night and meet all the comics and get on when I can get on.
Speaker: 2
01:32:08
But like it was never, I I just never like I would not go so many times the whole dynamic. I don’t fucking Yeah.
Speaker: 0
01:32:14
I did a couple of those. I
Speaker: 2
01:32:16
don’t sana it to. And I ended up sitting on this on this show for two years. It was a great experience in ai, but like
Speaker: 0
01:32:20
What shah did you get on?
Speaker: 2
01:32:21
It’s called Z Rock. It was a IFC show. What was great about it for me was because it was the Curb Your Enthusiasm style writing. Oh. So we get to say whatever we wanted really. And it was cursing and there was no problems with that.
Speaker: 0
01:32:33
Oh, wow.
Speaker: 2
01:32:34
So it was a very fun show to do in that regard, but it’s getting it just wasn’t my Wasn’t
Speaker: 0
01:32:38
your thing.
Speaker: 2
01:32:39
In fact, when I when I was doing it, I would still go ai three of the nights a week. We do five shows. Every other night, I would still go do my spot at the cellar and she was giving me two AM spots. Ai I have to be on set at 7AM, you know, 6AM sometimes. And when they would get ai, you know, I would take naps in between like scenes or whatever and they will be like, why are you going and doing like stand up so late?
Speaker: 2
01:33:03
I’m like, oh, because this show will not be forever and there is 50 people waiting to jump in my spot there.
Speaker: 0
01:33:09
Ai know
Speaker: 2
01:33:09
what I mean? I’m I’m I’m established there right now so it’s like Sai when this goes away, that’s the thing that’s still gonna be there. Yeah. And so I I definitely made sure. As I said, but also Sai didn’t sana really be an actor.
Speaker: 0
01:33:19
Well, in the nineties, it was just a money thing. You know, it was, everybody there was two things that everybody wanted as if you were a comic deal. You no. You wanted to be the head of a sitcom or you wanted to host The Tonight Show. Those are the two things that everybody wanted, which is why Jay Leno, people to this day don’t understand, like, why did Jay Leno want The Tonight Show so bad that he was, like, hiding in the closet and, you know, that whole story where they’re negotiating.
Speaker: 2
01:33:43
Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker: 0
01:33:44
And, you know, it just they scratched and clawed and everybody was mad at him because he took it from Conan. Remember that? Mhmm. Like, when because he went back because Conan’s ratings weren’t as good. The all that craziness was that was the golden carrot at the end of the stick.
Speaker: 0
01:33:57
Everybody ai, so in our minds, everybody wanted to host The Tonight Show or you wanted to be Jerry Seinfeld. Yeah. So that was what you got. Like and so these people came there and that’s all the industry talked about because that’s where all the money was. That’s what your agent wanted you to do.
Speaker: 0
01:34:12
That’s where all the money was. And everybody just pushing you in that direction.
Speaker: 2
01:34:15
Well, Yeah. That’s what it is. It was like it was a it was a push in that direction because it was like ai but it’s an antiquated idea that comes from the time of ai, everyone in entertainment was like a triple threat. I watched something a while ago that
Speaker: 0
01:34:28
was a Like a Jamie Fox.
Speaker: 2
01:34:29
How? But you’re ai. But even go back to ai the Sinatra’s ai they sai a Barney Miller, Hal Bryden. There’s videos of him ai singing on. He went on on like talk shows and as a singer. Wow. But because everyone had to like dance, you were like a showman. Right. There was no, like, focus in in one direction. Yeah. So the idea skills.
Speaker: 2
01:34:48
The idea that you were ai, I I came into comedy as a mega fan of stand up comedy. I loved all of it. I didn’t even, like, draw lines on, you know, the people I like more than others, and Dice was my guy for sure when I was 12, 13. I just hit him at the right ai.
Speaker: 0
01:35:03
Yeah.
Speaker: 2
01:35:04
That I loved that. But I was such a fan of stand up. When I got into stand up, I only sai, like, now I didn’t know what the path was to selling out comedy clubs or theaters or anything like ai, but that’s all it was. I didn’t get into this and I was like, oh, and then I’ll have a sitcom and then you just get told right away like Well,
Speaker: 0
01:35:20
what year did you come along? You’re going. What year did
Speaker: 2
01:35:22
you come ai? I started in ’90 ’97.
Speaker: 0
01:35:27
Okay.
Speaker: 2
01:35:27
Ai ‘9 maybe ’98.
Speaker: 0
01:35:28
That was ai the peak of the sitcom days. That was Friends. That was ai that was everything was still on the air back then. Right? Seinfeld had when what year did Seinfeld end? I wanna say that was, like, February no.
Speaker: 2
01:35:43
Ninety eight?
Speaker: 0
01:35:44
Yeah. I was
Speaker: 2
01:35:44
gonna say ’98.
Speaker: 0
01:35:46
Ai ‘8?
Speaker: 2
01:35:50
Yeah.
Speaker: 0
01:35:50
Yeah. Fourteen nineteen ninety eight. Okay. And then there’s Friends, which kept going a little while longer. Right? Yeah. Like 02/2001. You know, and then there was, like, Caroline and the City. There was, like, all these shows that everybody was, like that was the goal. The goal was to get on a show, and and everybody wanted and everybody got a network deal.
Speaker: 0
01:36:09
And they were handing out deals where you would get like a couple hundred ram. You didn’t have to do anything and they never even made a show and then you get another deal next year. There’s a bunch of guys who were always having deals.
Speaker: 2
01:36:18
And that a lot of those people, when I got in the comedy, I’d see those people, like, chest out at the comic strip
Speaker: 0
01:36:24
Oh, yeah.
Speaker: 2
01:36:24
And stuff. But then but then never heard of the nothing I mean, I wouldn’t need names, but Ai mean, it was just
Speaker: 0
01:36:30
it was just weird to
Speaker: 2
01:36:30
see people that were, like, oh, they just got their second deal with NBC holding deal or
Speaker: 0
01:36:35
Yeah. Although we’re convinced it was gonna go. They would tell you, like, I got a million dollar backup deal and this and shah. Sai they have to do my show. It’s gonna be on the air. You should play my brother.
Speaker: 2
01:36:43
And then it doesn’t. It’s such a,
Speaker: 0
01:36:45
Well, you see people getting really weird and acting ai they’re special before they’re even famous.
Speaker: 2
01:36:51
Sure.
Speaker: 0
01:36:51
You didn’t you didn’t even get on the launching pad yet and you’re already acting like a fucking crazy person.
Speaker: 2
01:36:55
But also I
Speaker: 0
01:36:56
saw a lot of that.
Speaker: 2
01:36:56
I sai I I’ve been doing it long enough to see people kinda go and be ai, shah, the acting thing seems to be going ai I’m gonna go to LA or something in in entertainment ai besides stand up is going, and they focus on that for a couple years, and then nothing really pans out from ram, and they didn’t keep doing stand up. Right. And then they come back Right.
Speaker: 0
01:37:15
And it’s like and then they ai again.
Speaker: 2
01:37:16
And then they’re confused because I’ve never had my own sitcom. I’ve never had anything, but, like, one thing I never stopped doing was, like, working the whole time still.
Speaker: 0
01:37:25
Yeah. So
Speaker: 2
01:37:25
it’s like you’re building a fan base still. And when people a lot of people left at a time where it was like, oh, this is where you have to start, you know, they went to go acting when everyone was ai, alright. This is it’s podcast times now and social media ai, and you have to get all these things going.
Speaker: 2
01:37:39
And you connect with the audience and stuff and keep performing and, like, they went away and then come back and it’s hard to start again.
Speaker: 0
01:37:46
It’s real hard. They saw a lot of guys during the writer strike ai to do it again. Because there’s a few of those guys that are really good that are just ai. And they become they become trapped in that velvet prison of getting that, you know, you you make good money. You got a great health plan.
Speaker: 0
01:38:03
You know, you got a nice house, got a mortgage, maybe start having kids, and you’re not really a comic anymore. Now you’re working on a sitcom or you’re writing. And the problem is, you don’t have a backup plan anymore because you can’t just go on the road anymore because you don’t have a fucking audience.
Speaker: 2
01:38:17
Right.
Speaker: 0
01:38:18
So all those other guys that you came up with that kept their comedy up during that whole time, those guys can still tour. Like Fitzsimmons is very smart about it. Like Fitzsimmons did a lot of writing gigs, but he never stopped doing stand up.
Speaker: 2
01:38:30
That’s so funny.
Speaker: 0
01:38:31
Never stopped doing stand up. And he always kept getting better. And so, like, when tyler strikes and things like that happen, Greg’s fine. Like, he sells out all over the country. He doesn’t have to worry about it. But it’s because he’s smart and because he he, like, saw the writing on the wall, like, I’m not falling into this trap.
Speaker: 0
01:38:46
Well, it’s
Speaker: 2
01:38:46
a matter of what you wanna do. When you woke up in the mornings to go do nose news radio, were you ai thrilled going to work every day or did it was it did it did it did it
Speaker: 0
01:38:55
No. News radio was really fun. It was really fun.
Speaker: 2
01:38:58
It was a blast.
Speaker: 0
01:38:59
Crazy. It was really fun. It was a it was a real fun, like, environment. We had a good time. The writers were amazing. It was, like, per perfect best case scenario for a sitcom. And there was the second sitcom I was on. The first one I was on was, like, worst case scenario. Not worst, but started off great. I it was on the show called hard hardball with, Jim Brewer.
Speaker: 0
01:39:20
Jim Brewer was, he played one of the rival, mascots, and he gets beat up. It’s Jim was so funny. It was so funny. It was a real funny pilot, and it was written by these guys who worked on Married with Children, and they worked on the Simpsons. They were really funny writers, Jeff Martin and Kevin Curran. And these guys put together this really funny show, and then the networks just hecked it up.
Speaker: 0
01:39:45
They just they just jizzed into the soup. It was a mess. They brought in a bunch of people that shouldn’t have been there and a bunch of and the show fell apart. And but I got I got to watch, like, these brilliant, really funny guys get their work just shit all over by the network and have it fall apart
Speaker: 2
01:40:03
and become, just a joke. Could you have been roped into stopping stand up? Like, not like not doing stand up to No. No. No. No. To to go in the full ai, like No. No. No. No. From sitcom to sitcom?
Speaker: 0
01:40:12
But one thing that I did do for sure is I neglected my stand up for a few years. When I was doing news radio all the ai, the problem was in news radio in the early days, they were really long hours because we were trying to figure the show out. And, you know, there was a lot of network notes back in those days.
Speaker: 0
01:40:30
And, you know, the network was really behind it, but it wasn’t, it wasn’t owned by NBC. It was on it was produced by Burlstein Gray. So, you know, if you wanted to be on the good slots. Right? So there what Paul Sims would call Paul Sims is the creator of NewsRadio.
Speaker: 0
01:40:45
He’d call it the shit sandwich. So you’d have friends and married with children, and in between, you’d have, like, kinda caca sitcoms. It’s like a shit sandwich. So we got on those spots occasionally. And every time we did, we were, like, number two in the country, number three or something.
Speaker: 0
01:40:58
But then, we’d drop down to, like, number 80 because we got moved to, like, nine different times over five years. Nine times over five years. So the show didn’t really become successful until it won the syndication.
Speaker: 2
01:41:08
Nice.
Speaker: 0
01:41:08
So it was one of those weird things, but I never I auditioned for two shows ever. I auditioned for that Hardball shah. I got that. That got vatsal, and I auditioned for news radio. That was it. Really? It was the nuttiest thing of all time. So I didn’t want it. It just happened.
Speaker: 0
01:41:24
So it wasn’t something ai it was my golden carrot. My golden carrot was just Sai wanted to be a professional comic.
Speaker: 2
01:41:29
Right.
Speaker: 0
01:41:29
And then I as I was, like, barely making money as a professional comic, like, barely ai. All of a bryden, they’re ai, we’ll pay you $25,000 a week. I was like, what do I have to do? I was like, I gotta act? Okay. Now I’m acting. And I would have moved back to New York a % if I didn’t get an apartment.
Speaker: 0
01:41:44
So I I signed a one year lease on this apartment in North Hollywood. And so I was staying, and I was like, oh, I gotta stay. Because I wanted to just go back to New York and play pool and hang out with my friends. I didn’t like it in LA. It wasn’t my cup of tea. I didn’t like being around actors.
Speaker: 0
01:41:57
And it was hard to make friends with some of the comedians and the comedy store was weird back then. So I was like, I was ready to go back to New York and I had this fucking lease. So I was like, I can’t break the I don’t have that kind of money. I’ve gotta keep this lease going.
Speaker: 0
01:42:09
So I I stayed there, and then I got news radio, like, right afterwards.
Speaker: 2
01:42:12
Which is great.
Speaker: 0
01:42:13
It was crazy.
Speaker: 2
01:42:14
That’s a whirlwind for sure. It is funny though. It’s ai, just that lead of that, like, that you’re supposed to do, ai, I I I to me, it was sitting for whatever the tenth ai, you know, Ai think I’m watching especially actors, like, walking back and forth, like, how serious they’re taking getting there.
Speaker: 2
01:42:32
And I’m just, like, holding the sides barely, and I’m, like, it’s, like, three ai. We gotta say, like, relax. And I didn’t book stuff, but it’s also just, ai, sai I’m sitting there, like, I don’t know if I wanna be the, you know, the the Trident cinnamon gum guy.
Speaker: 0
01:42:46
Mitch Hedberg, you just
Speaker: 2
01:42:47
don’t know if I care. I just don’t ai it’s like if you get it, it’s almost ai fantastic, you know, ai, that’s great, but
Speaker: 0
01:42:53
If you get it, it’s extra money. Sure. But then once you get all the extra money, you don’t have to really do that anymore. And that’s when you gotta ai. Like, what do you ai, one of the things that I had to decide after I did Fear Factor, I was like, okay. No more of
Speaker: 2
01:43:05
that, please. Yeah.
Speaker: 0
01:43:05
Ai I did it one more time. I did it one more time when, in 02/2011, Fear Factor came back for a brief amount of time. Ai that’s when they made people drink jizz. That’s ai it got vatsal forever. Until Ludacris came back and did it on MTV.
Speaker: 2
01:43:19
No jizz. That was that was the no jizz rule.
Speaker: 0
01:43:21
They toned it down back then. But it was, is it just like it there’s a different thing that’s happening when you’re doing something just for money. You know, you’re just ai, okay. It’s worth it. It’s worth it for this amount of money. And then you gotta know what to do with that money.
Speaker: 2
01:43:35
Ai, you have to
Speaker: 0
01:43:36
plan plan your escape.
Speaker: 2
01:43:37
I used to have to, like ai, talk myself into ai. When I would get those weird, like, talking head shows. I think on History Channel, we did, like, I love they were trying to do, like, a spoof of I love the eighties and I love the nineties.
Speaker: 0
01:43:48
Right. Right.
Speaker: 2
01:43:49
They would do, like, I love the eighteen eighties ai I love the eighteen nineties or whatever. And they would give us, like, history stories and write jokes sana you’re talking head things. And I would look at it as a burden of that next day.
Speaker: 0
01:44:00
Yeah. Ai
Speaker: 2
01:44:01
mean, I gotta wake up at eight to go into the city and, like, to do this thing that’s never I look at all this stuff and I’m, like, it’s Lame. It’s network, it’s history channel. So it’s like, Ai can’t really do exactly what it is I do. And then, because I’m gonna go as close as I can to my own voice that, like, it’s probably not gonna get a lot of stuff on anyway. Yeah.
Speaker: 2
01:44:20
And but I had to really convince ai. Like, you know, there there was a kid across the street from me, when I lived in South Jersey for the couple years who was in a Fruit Loops commercial. I said and he and he must have sai he might as well been Brad Pitt. You know what I mean?
Speaker: 2
01:44:33
Like, like, to meh, I was like, he’s been on television, and I’m like, think yeah. I’m going to do a TV show tomorrow. History channel or anything. If you told me when I was 12, 13 years old that, hey, you wanna do a TV? Should be on TV on the History channel? You’d be like, no.
Speaker: 2
01:44:45
TV, is that possible? You know? So you have to remember that it is pretty, like, extraordinary to have some of these opportunities, but meh so I try to take them in when I have them. I did I was in the movie Hustlers, as the strip club DJ.
Speaker: 0
01:44:57
What is Hustlers?
Speaker: 2
01:44:58
It’s a it’s a the true story of the girls at Scores who were, like, robbed the strippers that were robbing the house.
Speaker: 0
01:45:03
Oh, really? When did that movie come out?
Speaker: 2
01:45:05
A couple years back now. But, shah, maybe, like, seven years six, seven years ago. But I was a strip club DJ in that. And, like, I really had to go there because I look at the in hindsight of it, it’s like it was two fourteen hour days of, like, nothing. So much nothing going on. Right. You just wait Just waiting around Yeah. And just whiffing when I, had these opportunities. But Ai also trying to take in.
Speaker: 2
01:45:29
I’m like, holy shah. That’s Usher over there. Fucking that’s fucking J. Lo. Ai like as I’m sitting here, like, what did it when do you guys need me again?
Speaker: 2
01:45:36
It’s like J. Lo’s in a thong, like, you know, twerking on stage, like, doing her scene and you’re like, oh, I should really enjoy some of it. You know what I mean? J.
Speaker: 3
01:45:44
Lo was on stage twerking?
Speaker: 2
01:45:45
Yeah. I introduced her her big dance. Do you know Jay oh, 02/2018 maybe? Yeah. My voice opens a scene.
Speaker: 0
01:45:57
Ram. Is that really J. Lo? Yeah. Sai this is her meh years ago?
Speaker: 2
01:46:01
50 years old.
Speaker: 0
01:46:02
Not then shah wasn’t.
Speaker: 2
01:46:03
Yep. She’s 50 on set. Yeah.
Speaker: 0
01:46:05
Wait a minute. How old is she now? You said this is February what? February when?
Speaker: 2
01:46:11
02/2009 ai ’19, ’18.
Speaker: 0
01:46:15
Was she really 50 back then? Yeah. Ai, sai years ago, she’s not 56.
Speaker: 2
01:46:20
She does 19.
Speaker: 0
01:46:23
Okay. How old is J. Lo? So
Speaker: 2
01:46:25
she’s 56, I ai, now.
Speaker: 0
01:46:26
No. Is she really? Woah. That’s crazy. Yeah. But what is she doing?
Speaker: 2
01:46:36
I don’t know, but she looked fantastic. Ai didn’t really shined a light on this girl’s narrow
Speaker: 0
01:46:40
genetics.
Speaker: 2
01:46:40
This girl’s narrow Asian ass really ai a light on that. It almost when they were choreographing them together on stage, it looked so it looked so shitty. That’s meh.
Speaker: 0
01:46:52
She looks great. That’s incredible. Good for her.
Speaker: 2
01:46:54
She seemed nice. I tried to talk to her once and I ai hard.
Speaker: 0
01:46:57
Did you? I just Meh panicked. I planned Thought you could be number six?
Speaker: 2
01:47:01
I planned what I was gonna say. That’s what the problem was.
Speaker: 0
01:47:04
Wait. Oh, you did? Yeah. How bad?
Speaker: 2
01:47:06
Ai it was bad. I said when she next time she turns around, because she seems ai, she’s gonna like at some point, she’s gonna talk to me. We’re doing this one scene together where she hands me money, and I say like a line. And every time they yell cut, she put a robe on and turn around, talk to her assistant.
Speaker: 2
01:47:22
But I’m like, she does seem nice and she’s gonna turn around and ask me some version of how you doing. Right. And I’m gonna say, you know, I’m just living the life of a fake strip club DJ and that’s gonna make her giggle and then we’re best friends for life. And instead of waiting for her to say anything, the next time she just her eyes just crossed my eyes, I went, living the life fake strip club DJ.
Speaker: 2
01:47:40
I followed her face And she was like, excuse me? And I was like, oh. And then arya assistant started laughing at me and then I demanded to go outside to get a soda. They were like, we’ll get you a soda. I’m like, please let me go outside and reset this moment. I hate this.
Speaker: 0
01:47:57
Yeah. You can’t have a diva roll her eyes at you. That’ll fuck your confidence up no matter who you are. No. Jennifer Lopez rolls her eyes at you.
Speaker: 2
01:48:05
That’s gonna hurt so much.
Speaker: 0
01:48:06
How does she look so good? I don’t know.
Speaker: 2
01:48:08
She really did. It’s pretty extraordinary. It’s that thing where it’s a person that’s in a room and you’re like, oh, celebrity’s here. Ai could give that off.
Speaker: 0
01:48:15
Right. But it’s like think of her beauty and then that other lady that you said that did a bunch of shit to her face. Probably the same age.
Speaker: 2
01:48:22
Right? Oh, yeah.
Speaker: 0
01:48:23
Ain’t that crazy?
Speaker: 2
01:48:24
It is crazy. Then you know what’s awesome in that movie, by the way? A young only one song out Lizzo, and everyone was so excited for her. And I didn’t know shah was, and they go they were telling me the celebrities are gonna be there today, and she’s playing a stripper. And I was like, I’m wondering who it is. And then, hours later, my next question sai, I’m like, who’s the big fat stripper wearing the fishnet outfit?
Speaker: 2
01:48:48
And they’re like, that’s Lizzo. Yeah. Like, that’s Lizzo. I was like, Christ almighty. What are they making her do that?
Speaker: 2
01:48:55
And again, it’s my own fat insecurity that I put out on other people. Almost like I said that guy earlier who’s like the robe open.
Speaker: 0
01:49:02
There’s gotta be guys that wanna meh that.
Speaker: 2
01:49:04
I’m impressed because what I have is much more which I always found interesting. Chris Farley, you know, these most these most famous thing ever is the Chippendale sketch
Speaker: 0
01:49:15
Right.
Speaker: 2
01:49:16
With Patrick Swayze. I’ve always thought and I just know this from I’m I’m good friends with his brother and and from years of reading stuff about it. Like, that’s if you sana trickle back what killed him, it’s essentially that. Do you know what I mean? It’s like he hated he was willing to do it, like, I’ll be the fat gross guy, but he hated it.
Speaker: 2
01:49:32
He didn’t want everyone to think he was, like, fat and gross. So I it’s like I have a hard time with, like, with those kind ai things. So I’m impressed also with someone who’s, like, ladies, you know, with, like, their fucking fat rolls on their ai. Welcome to the party. Well, it’s How do you do it, man? And Lizzo just ai, fuck it. I’m wearing a thong. Like, don’t. You don’t have to.
Speaker: 2
01:49:52
It’s one
Speaker: 0
01:49:52
of those things where it’s ai you wanna celebrate people that don’t care. Like, yeah, you go. But also, yikes. Yeah. It’s also yikes.
Speaker: 2
01:50:01
It’s always lies too, by the way. She’s lost a hundred pounds.
Speaker: 0
01:50:03
Well, also, remember when she was accused of fat shaming all the girls that she worked with and making them making hookers. Yeah.
Speaker: 2
01:50:10
Making each trip her pussy and shit.
Speaker: 0
01:50:11
Meh. Ai, whatever. Whatever was going down. Whatever she was accused of, I don’t know if it was real. But it’s ai the Chris Farley thing, I never would have imagined that he hated doing that.
Speaker: 2
01:50:21
Oh, yeah. No. He loved making people laugh, but he hated that it was at the expense. Ai I don’t think I’m speaking at a school here that said that, but it never seemed like that’s that stuff did bother him, I think. He wanted he he wanted girls to like him. He wanted, you know
Speaker: 0
01:50:34
what I mean?
Speaker: 2
01:50:34
So that’s why he got big into drugs.
Speaker: 0
01:50:36
Are you basing this on conversations that you’ve had with people that know him or like
Speaker: 2
01:50:40
Conversations that I’ve watched so much stuff ai, on him. Yeah. Yeah. And you could see, like, you know, they again, it’s people reading in this stuff and sure. But yeah. But I think also from talking to his brother and stuff.
Speaker: 0
01:50:49
I met him once when he was in the throes of it.
Speaker: 2
01:50:53
Really?
Speaker: 0
01:50:54
Yeah. There’s a couple of people that I met where their skin looked like wet cardboard. Uh-huh. Like, it was the consistency of wet, like, gray cardboard. Yeah. Like, sweaty gray cardboard. So he was, on the set hanging out. There was always, like, a lot of fun people that were on the set that you got to meet. And, he wasn’t working, on the show.
Speaker: 0
01:51:16
He was just there to hang out. And so, I ran into him, like, during the craft service table arya, and he was just looked terrible. And I don’t know, like, what year did he die?
Speaker: 2
01:51:30
I think late nineties also.
Speaker: 0
01:51:33
So this was around ninety seven ish, somewhere around then. So news radio was ’94 to ’99. End of ’90 ‘7 December, week before Christmas, Sai seventh. That’s when he died. Thirty three. So it might have been the year he died.
Speaker: 2
01:51:46
Yeah. Ai mean
Speaker: 0
01:51:47
because he looked like hell. He looked like he was just so sweaty and so gray. He just looked fucked up. The one other time, there was a dude that I ran into at, the improv, and he couldn’t form sentences. He he had, like, the same gray skin, and he was talking to me, but nothing made sense.
Speaker: 0
01:52:08
But he just kept talking and he could he couldn’t form sentences and I was like, this is the craziest thing I’ve ever seen.
Speaker: 2
01:52:14
It’s also weird to get into that and then still be around comedy.
Speaker: 0
01:52:17
Just be around public. Like You’re hanging around with people at a bar arya you you you’re so gacked up. You can’t even form a sentence.
Speaker: 2
01:52:24
I have a hard time with the I mean, I can. Sai I can get caught up in like the the dramatic conversation of ai the the science of comedy and like the all the internal things and the manipulation of it. But at the end of the day, it’s so silly when like it’s taken so seriously in some way too.
Speaker: 2
01:52:40
It’s like it’s not ai, you know, unlike Daniel Day Lewis who has to be Lincoln all day, someone can go, Jay, they’re calling your name on stage and you can go up. I don’t have to, like, find my place. Right.
Speaker: 0
01:52:51
You know
Speaker: 2
01:52:51
what I mean? Like, oh, I’m not even you know? Oh, hang on. Okay. You know, you just go on stage and be, like, shit. I didn’t know they were calling me. Sorry, everybody.
Speaker: 0
01:52:59
But also you’re doing sets multiple times a night. You’re doing multiple sets a week. You’re so comfortable being on stage. It’s not ai action. Right. You know? You’re Lincoln. Go. Yeah. And I was scoring seven years ago.
Speaker: 2
01:53:13
When you mess up a line, they gotta go change the gate. They gotta do a bunch of fucking things. Yeah.
Speaker: 0
01:53:17
And there’s always someone who wants to come in and touch up your hair, and then there’s fucking people moving around. And there’s always some so many support people. It’s hard to just ai keep your fucking concentration.
Speaker: 2
01:53:27
Some people like being doted on. Dan Soder, I’ve always been he likes acting and and not even just acting, he likes the day. He takes the day in the trailer and he said he’ll write jokes and, you know, do whatever and
Speaker: 0
01:53:40
happy dude. Dan Soder seems like he’s always happy. It’s hard to imagine him being even angry. Like, he was talking to me about somebody who ripped off one of his jokes. And even that, the way he’s talking about the guy ripping off his joke and confronting him about ripping off the joke, it’s still he’s like he’s silly.
Speaker: 2
01:53:56
Yeah. Yeah. He’s
Speaker: 0
01:53:57
being silly and laughing about it. I’m like, wow.
Speaker: 2
01:53:59
Oh, he’s the best for sure. Great
Speaker: 0
01:54:01
demeanor. So that’s like a glass is always half full guy. He’s he’s fine with doing a little acting here. But if you you know, what he wants to do is stand up. He’s a great stand up.
Speaker: 2
01:54:09
No. No. He’s great standing. He does wanna do stand up. And he wants to make shows. He’s got a lot of, interest that I think will be great at all of them. I’m just saying more like, you know, I’m losing my train of thought.
Speaker: 0
01:54:17
Well, she don’t have to do all that other stuff. And the thing is, like, back in the nineties, we all thought we had to do that other stuff. I would have never imagined, like, quitting a TV show and just so I could do stand up on the road. First of all, you needed the TV show sai people come to see you. That was people that was a big thing.
Speaker: 0
01:54:34
Back then, people came to see you if you were on The Tonight Show or if you had an HBO special or if you had a sitcom. Ai, that was
Speaker: 2
01:54:41
That’s why I was so so impressive person like like Regan.
Speaker: 0
01:54:46
Meh. Ryan Regan. Gonna bring him up.
Speaker: 2
01:54:47
Yes. It’s like you did it straight through comedy, man. Just organic. And got to theaters.
Speaker: 0
01:54:52
Yep. Huge theaters. Yeah. It sells out instantly just because he’s so good.
Speaker: 2
01:54:56
You know, it’s funny the quietest, the people who arya the most, surprising. There’s huge earning comics that we’ve you’ve never even heard of and stuff. I always look about, like, Shonda Pierce is a lady just like an old lady ram, the South, but she’s multimillionaire. Sells out. She performs at ai churches and stuff.
Speaker: 0
01:55:17
Really?
Speaker: 2
01:55:18
Yeah. But it’s just stand up and it’s just like the most mundane like but it’s ai it’s not for me obviously, but I mean with this kinda whatever, you know, ai, act that, you know, wouldn’t impress anybody. She’s making millions.
Speaker: 0
01:55:33
Christian comedy is a tough sell.
Speaker: 2
01:55:35
Yeah. Well, but there’s a market for it for sure.
Speaker: 0
01:55:37
There is a market for it. I remember there was a bunch of people that went into Christian comedy. The the there was ai a Christian comedy tour back in, like Ai, my god. Yeah. It was terrible. It was terrible.
Speaker: 2
01:55:47
To want to go to that seems boring. Even if you were religious, like, well, I don’t wanna go watch religious comedy.
Speaker: 0
01:55:51
But it was like the most sai shucks stupid shit Yeah. About, like, the guy’s dumb and my wife always tells me I’m dumb and she’s right.
Speaker: 2
01:55:59
It’s why Nate Barguetzky is so impressive to me and always has been is because he’s clean that way. You can call him a Christian comic and it doesn’t matter ai if you just watch the comedy, if you’re not listening to all the labels being put on him
Speaker: 0
01:56:10
Right.
Speaker: 2
01:56:10
He’s just brilliant. Yeah. It’s just brilliant. And more than brilliant, hilarious. Fucking hilarious.
Speaker: 0
01:56:15
Hilarious and squeaky clean. Yeah. And you throw ram on anywhere in a lineup.
Speaker: 2
01:56:20
Yeah. I still Gary Goldman was so impressive in that way too. It just didn’t have to be dirty, like, almost like subjects you were someone sai the ai joke by the subject. You’re like, ai. That’s corny.
Speaker: 0
01:56:29
Well, Gaffigan’s And
Speaker: 2
01:56:29
then they do it and he’s killed. Yeah. He’s great too.
Speaker: 0
01:56:31
Gaffigan’s been killing it forever. Squeaky clean. You know? There’s, you know, there’s a market like, again
Speaker: 2
01:56:37
But everyone shouldn’t be that. Right. That’s the Hannah Gatsby, argument she made. That’s that’s the really, whatever my opinions about comedy are meaningless. It was an article she did where she was like, if you’re not using your comedy to, like, move society forward in some way Sure.
Speaker: 0
01:56:51
Say that?
Speaker: 2
01:56:51
Yeah. That’s hilarious. Like, you’re wasting time, basically. Like, you’re like, you need to come and talk about your rape or you’re wasting time doing comedy. And it’s ai or or did I you’re not being sana. I go, so you’re saying, like, Dave Attell, Brian Regan, Carrot Top.
Speaker: 2
01:57:03
You’re saying people just shouldn’t be in comedy because they’re a different, like, faction of it than you? That’s insane. It’s insane. And God forbid, if everybody arya doing Hannah Gatsby style quality, she’s fucked. She’s not gonna be the best at it. You know what I mean? Right.
Speaker: 2
01:57:17
It’s like, why are you welcoming? It’s like, why don’t you stay keep your lane and be happy with how great it is.
Speaker: 0
01:57:20
About comedy. Like, you should be funny first.
Speaker: 2
01:57:25
Yeah. If you
Speaker: 0
01:57:26
wanna do all that other stuff too. But if you wanna do all all that other stuff and you call it comedy, but it’s not funny. Like, you’re doing something where you’re just trying to educate people. Hey, that you missed the whole mark of this whole thing and to say that that’s the most important thing.
Speaker: 0
01:57:41
The only people that would say that are people who aren’t funny.
Speaker: 2
01:57:44
Yeah.
Speaker: 0
01:57:44
That’s it. That’s the only people that would ever think that the most important thing is to move social justice forward with your comedy.
Speaker: 2
01:57:50
If somebody told me I made them think on stage, Ai go, about what?
Speaker: 0
01:57:53
About what? Listen. You could be as social justice y as you want. You could talk to your phone. You could make long rants on reels. You could do podcasts. You could do whatever you want. Talk about issues. But when you’re on stage, what you’re supposed to be doing is be funny.
Speaker: 0
01:58:07
Now if you can be funny with some sort of grand message that makes everybody Bill Hicks clap at you Great. That’s great. But that’s not the goal. The goal is to just be funny. And if that’s your goal, you wanna be funny with a social justice, great. Nothing wrong with it. But you gotta be funny.
Speaker: 0
01:58:23
You can’t ai fake it and get claptor and think you’re
Speaker: 2
01:58:28
Anything I would even say with passion on stage, I could end just as easily by going or not, you know, or maybe I’m completely wrong. I don’t know. Definitely.
Speaker: 0
01:58:36
How the
Speaker: 2
01:58:36
fuck would I know?
Speaker: 0
01:58:37
Remember guys would do this when they were bombing? Hey, how about a nice round of applause for the ladies? Give a round of applause for the ladies
Speaker: 2
01:58:43
in the crowd. There’s a go. How meh, at the in the black comedy circuit, it was, those are the ai. How many they would give you? Because how about for ladies? How about for a brother doing the right thing, staying out of jail, doing the right thing, trying to do the right thing?
Speaker: 0
01:58:53
Yeah. They get collapsed. Yes. Yes. And then it was positive energy. But we all going your way.
Speaker: 2
01:58:59
But we all use some crushing that. I went, I think, so I mean, not just because I was, like, you know, obviously inspired by the dices and stuff with the comics that I like the dirtier guys. But I would go dirty because I found out pretty early. If you go dirty, even if you don’t get the laugh because the joke wasn’t good, you’re gonna get the groan and it was a noise.
Speaker: 0
01:59:14
Yeah.
Speaker: 2
01:59:15
Because that was it to me again. I said the silence was the thing. Once it was silent, I was ai, someone please save me from this. It’s going so bad.
Speaker: 0
01:59:23
Yeah. If you get a few, oh, god. Yeah.
Speaker: 2
01:59:25
At least you’re ai either with me. You can kinda you
Speaker: 0
01:59:27
can kinda laugh that
Speaker: 2
01:59:27
off yourself. Yeah. And then if you’re laughing genuinely, maybe
Speaker: 0
01:59:27
these people will start smiling. And laughing genuinely, maybe people will start smiling. Yeah. It’s a fucking weird art form, dude. But, you know, kudos to you for just doing that because that’s the way to do it. And then, Legion of Skanks too. Like, what what Louis and you guys and Dave, what you guys have done is so interesting because you did it all without ever worrying about being, like, removed from YouTube, you know, because you did it all on his network, on Sai Digital.
Speaker: 2
01:59:56
I mean, he started Gas Digital essentially for Legion of Skanks, more or less.
Speaker: 0
01:59:59
So smart. And it
Speaker: 2
02:00:00
would have, like, a platform that they really can’t get rid of.
Speaker: 0
02:00:02
Yeah. Because it limits your reach a little bit, but over time, people figure it out. That’s why Skankfest is so fucking huge. Skankfest is nuts, dude.
Speaker: 2
02:00:12
It’s fun. It’s It’s been created in New Orleans this year.
Speaker: 0
02:00:15
I should’ve gotten in when I could’ve done it. Now it seems like Sai don’t I I just I don’t Sai there’s too many people. I get anxiety.
Speaker: 2
02:00:22
There’s a lot of people for sure. But it’s It’s
Speaker: 0
02:00:24
amazing how ai We
Speaker: 2
02:00:25
have a blast.
Speaker: 0
02:00:26
It’s such a celebration of people just being stupid and having fun.
Speaker: 2
02:00:30
Absolutely. And there’s no ai, you know It’s
Speaker: 0
02:00:32
a pretense.
Speaker: 2
02:00:33
No. And I said they all look the part, but they’re such great comedy fans. That’s what Ai said. And by the way, also, I mean that in the sense that it’s a there’s been so many people who have been ai, skank fizz is my thing. I’m like, dude, they’re gonna fucking lose their minds for you. Yeah.
Speaker: 0
02:00:45
You don’t even know.
Speaker: 2
02:00:46
It’s like they’re comedy fans. They’re not just ai our fans exclusively.
Speaker: 0
02:00:49
They’re also fans of people that are willing to do real comedy in this fucking bizarre world where you’re being told that the most important thing is for you to do social justice on stage, which I shouldn’t say that’s the world now because that will it’s not. It was the world ai four years ago. Four years ago, you heard that a lot.
Speaker: 2
02:01:06
Oh, yeah.
Speaker: 0
02:01:06
And that’s kind of died off. And there was a bunch of things that killed that, but I think the real nail in the coffin, the final one was the Tom Brady roast. Yeah. I think that was the grand nail in the the coffin of woke comedy.
Speaker: 2
02:01:18
Well, all you had to show people was that there was, like, if you stick with something for a minute, like, there is an audience there. Mhmm. You’re just listening to a bunch of lunatics screaming with nothing to do with their lives. It’s ai, but if you give it a second, like, conversely, of much people were ai, they’re angry about this. There’s a bazillion people who just like it.
Speaker: 0
02:01:35
Yeah. You can’t cater to the people that are upset at what popular thing there is out there. Can you
Speaker: 2
02:01:42
imagine writing a little ACDC? Ai, this last record sucked. First second song’s okay, but third song blows and the fourth one’s is like
Speaker: 0
02:01:51
That’s the fuck you, you’re not funny person in the crowd. There’s always gonna be a percentage of them. It’s it’s an unavoidable aspect of human nature. There’s a bunch of people that don’t do anything, can’t contribute, and wanna knock down everything they see in front of them.
Speaker: 0
02:02:03
There’s a bunch of people that were born with amazing genetics that just have this superiority over everybody that they believe is real. And they you know, especially if you’re pretty and everybody wants to fuck you and you think you could yell at anything at the guy on stage. Yeah.
Speaker: 0
02:02:14
Maybe you hate men because your ex boyfriend’s a piece of shit and you’ve had a couple of cocktails and fuck him and fuck this guy. Don’t fucking say women can’t do it.
Speaker: 2
02:02:24
We’re gonna try to break down it’s the funniest. So I’m gonna sana to break down your bit.
Speaker: 0
02:02:30
Meh, that’s the best. I had a a lady heckle me once where I was trying to explain. I was doing this bit about, I had a bit about the the guy who broke into the White House because this guy, some fucking maniac broke into the White House. He just hopped the fence, ran across the lawn, and broke in, and there was a lady guarding the front door.
Speaker: 0
02:02:47
And he smacked her to the ground, just ran through and he got tackled by an off duty Secret Service guy. Ai was like getting a cup of coffee and sees this fucking guy running through the White House, and he tackles him. And the joke was about a woman being a security guard at the White House. And the joke was supposed to be, I know because guess what?
Speaker: 0
02:03:06
I shouldn’t be a security guard at the White House. I go, and you know how I know? Because I met Shaquille O’Neal and his dick is where my face is. It’s like if the White House is experiencing his shack attack, I’m the wrong dude to save the world. Ain’t no shah.
Speaker: 0
02:03:16
Sai the the whole joke was about that, and I I couldn’t get it out because this lady’s ai bullshit. Bullshit. So the joke was women can’t do everything men can do because men can’t do everything men can do. That’s why we have the Olympics. There’s some people that can just do shit that regular people can’t do. And one of those things is guarding the fucking White House.
Speaker: 0
02:03:36
Like, you should be a big fucking giant dude who’s capable of extreme ai. But this bitch wouldn’t let me get this out. She’s ai, and I tried to explain her. This is how the joke goes. And then I went further into the joke and she chimed in again.
Speaker: 0
02:03:48
I explained the joke and then she was she was like, okay. I’m like, yeah. I can’t I’m saying I can’t do it.
Speaker: 2
02:03:53
I’ve gone hard at female cops so much. It’s so great when I meet female cops. They’re ai, they usually have great sense of humor is about it ai honestly, but I will film and send to, like, Souders who I’ll do it too. I watch cops still a lot, like clips of the show cops. And there was one I watched recently that was just about the it’s a female cop.
Speaker: 2
02:04:12
Whoever’s a female cop, I’m like, I get my phone ready in case I have to film this because I go it’s always gonna be something hilarious. And, they’re always in the way somehow or something, and it’s they’re trying to stop this ai. You know, he’s on foot, black dude. And this lady is ai, let me see your ID. Let me see your ID right now.
Speaker: 2
02:04:28
And then the guy is just slowly backing away, and then he just decides to go start running. And he runs, and this girl is chasing. This black guy is so far away from meh. It’s ridiculous. And then just coming zipping right past her is a dude cop who just catches the guy and tackles him.
Speaker: 2
02:04:43
And then it’s the rest of the ai her standing over breathing hard. She’s like, son of a bitch got away from me. And it’s like, lady, what are you doing? What do you do? I saw one time I was waiting outside of a doctor’s office in New York, and I saw a guy who was naked with his hospital gown on the floor next to him.
Speaker: 2
02:05:01
This isn’t outside of a hospital, by the way. Just doctor’s office. This guy left the hospital clear. He’s naked. Still has his bracelet on. He’s flapping his dick around.
Speaker: 2
02:05:10
So Ai call the cops and I go, hey, I think there’s a guy ai got out of a hospital here. He’s naked and he’s seems pretty unruly. He’s ai screaming shah. He’s being kinda weird. And they go, will you stay on the phone with us and let me know when the officers get there?
Speaker: 2
02:05:22
I go, sure. And then a big NYPD van pulls up and two tiny little ladies get out. And I started laughing on the phone and I’m like, yo, I don’t think these these ones are gonna be able to handle. You might wanna send somebody else and they go, why? Ai go, because it’s like two tiny ladies, miss.
Speaker: 2
02:05:39
And I’m like and this guy’s ai, like, I’m gonna have to get involved now and I don’t want to. And then the guy stood up and he’s walking towards them and the ladies are like, first of all, already touching their guns which is ai, again, not really necessary. The ai naked. He doesn’t have a weapon, but just they’re so ai. Like, how many options do they have Well, they have to if he goes at them. Ai.
Speaker: 0
02:05:58
That’s the thing. If you’re if you’re a small woman and a naked guy is coming your way and you don’t know how to fight and you have a gun, you’re grabbing your gun. And the
Speaker: 2
02:06:05
ai went up to them and just stood about seven feet in front of them and started pissing at their feet. And then, and then ai, another cop car came with a guy who just I mean, got out of the car right away, grabbed him by the arya, you know ai I meh? Put his arms behind his back and they put the this thing back over him, his gown back on him. But it was just like Yeah.
Speaker: 0
02:06:22
Ai had to pee. What’s the problem? He didn’t couldn’t find his clothes.
Speaker: 2
02:06:25
But it’s just so wild that I’m like, why are these two a team at all?
Speaker: 0
02:06:31
Yeah. I mean, I would like to say that women could do everything men can do. But I think in that circumstance, you’d probably want a big man.
Speaker: 2
02:06:39
Feel big Police work?
Speaker: 0
02:06:40
That’s crazy. You’re dealing one of the scariest videos that I ever saw was this guy. This lady pulled him over on the ai, and the guy gets out, and he’s beating the fuck out of this lady cop and his daughter. The ai who’s beating the cop, his daughter is saying, daddy, stop. Daddy, stop. Because he’s just beating the shit out. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Shah. Lady. It’s so scary.
Speaker: 0
02:07:06
It’s so scary because there’s there’s no way she should have been in that situation. There’s no way.
Speaker: 2
02:07:11
A chubby female cop to boot is the funniest too. You’re like, what is happening?
Speaker: 0
02:07:15
All the time.
Speaker: 2
02:07:16
What is the problem they’re gonna solve?
Speaker: 0
02:07:17
All the time.
Speaker: 2
02:07:18
But they’re in the way. Like
Speaker: 0
02:07:20
I was at a casino once and, this person who I thought, air quotes, was a woman. And I was talking to and it was a security guard, like, five foot five. Mhmm. Like, shorter than me. Security guard. Woman. I thought. Thought was a woman.
Speaker: 0
02:07:37
It wasn’t disturbed by the fact that she was a security guard. None none of it. But then, at the end of the night, I had been talking to these people, you know, the show was over. And I was like, well, ladies, it was really nice to meet you. And she says, actually, I’m a man. And she sai ai, like, with a woman’s voice.
Speaker: 0
02:07:55
And I then I’m ai speak.
Speaker: 2
02:07:58
Or, you
Speaker: 0
02:07:58
know, I probably had a couple of cocktails. Just did a show. And I probably gotta go Nah. Are you you for sure? Like, what? So I said, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean anything by it. I didn’t know. Gave her a hug. Hugged everybody on the left. And I was I felt proud of myself that I didn’t say something.
Speaker: 2
02:08:16
Should’ve nut checked her.
Speaker: 0
02:08:17
Ai was just like Yeah. Nut check. It’s just like, ai definitely you’re not, but, you know, whatever. Like, to to think that I should have known, like, that’s crazy.
Speaker: 2
02:08:26
Man, I had something
Speaker: 0
02:08:27
Did you identify as a man?
Speaker: 2
02:08:29
I had something turn on me so bad with that at a
Speaker: 0
02:08:31
Not even a mustache.
Speaker: 2
02:08:32
At a tyler. It’s me, Josh, Edda Ai, and, and my girlfriend went to a concert and went to a diner afterwards. And where they sat sai this diner, our table was facing the booths that are going across. And the booth right across where I’m staring is a cute girl and what I thought was a a goth guy.
Speaker: 2
02:08:55
I thought it was a like a goth dude who’s wearing, like, kinda fishnet stuff and everything. And they are making out hard up, like, going. They’re going for it. And I’m like, you know, we’re kinda like laughing it off almost at first, you know, like, alright. I guess, like, they’re go but then it starts getting, like, they’re ai like, she’s, like, getting in a position.
Speaker: 2
02:09:16
The girl, the the only girl Ai thought is when, like, the the goth guy ai rubbing, like, her pussy over the pants, and she’s, like, writhing around and stuff. And this is going on. Then they stop. In a diner? Yeah. Then they stop. Then they start again. It’s a point where I go laughingly though too.
Speaker: 2
02:09:32
I kinda go, ah, okay. Come on. And they’re like and they’re like they have like an meh my ai, what the fuck is wrong with you thing? Now there’s people they’re in a booth and we’re the only people who see them. We’re facing them.
Speaker: 2
02:09:43
These booths are other people, but they’re just not paying attention what’s going on there. I’m just having to look at it. I’m like, alright. And they’re like, what’s the problem? And I’m still just sana laughingly going like, I get it, but like, you know, I’m doing like a ai, I’m like, you’re fucking at the table.
Speaker: 2
02:09:58
I mean, like, it’s crazy. We’re at a diner. And it’s getting shitty about it, and then I’m just like, I don’t know what the problem is. Ai like, that’s crazy what you’re doing and everything, and I’m like, Sai don’t we’re not wrong here. And then she was and then she goes, would you have a problem if we were a straight couple?
Speaker: 2
02:10:13
And I was like, I thought that was I thought that was a guy. I sai, I didn’t know it wasn’t a straight couple. And then, whatever. It all kinda calms down and then ai our food’s coming,
Speaker: 0
02:10:24
which is weird. We start to sit there and
Speaker: 2
02:10:25
I go, yeah, I’m gonna go outside and smoke a cigarette and like regroup here a little bit. Biggest mistake I ever made. Because I went outside and I’m it’s like a big glass front restaurant, you know, diner and I’m smoking right side of the diner and I’m watching the narrative get created in the room without me being in the ram.
Speaker: 2
02:10:41
Ai, no. Like, the people behind and the staff coming up and being like the we’re sorry things people have to still act like that. People still, act like that today. And and when I go back in the E, I mean, we are ai. I just feel like and then the host guy, who like, you know, seats everybody as gay and he’s side it just it was so uncomfortable and I was like, how’d
Speaker: 0
02:11:05
you explain yourself?
Speaker: 2
02:11:05
We didn’t do anything. No. There’s nothing to explain. It just went to kind of awkwardly give us our food and I’m like, you guys are mad somehow at me. How much
Speaker: 0
02:11:12
spit do you think you ate?
Speaker: 2
02:11:13
Oh, so meh. So much spit with shitty food. Then I told that story on my radio show. It was funny and somebody, like, meh, like, the Yelp or whatever the thing. And they were, like, that guy was, being transphobic and we this is a welcoming restaurant who allows anybody in. It’s ai, this how is this the narrative of what happened?
Speaker: 0
02:11:32
They got you.
Speaker: 2
02:11:33
They got me.
Speaker: 0
02:11:33
They got you.
Speaker: 2
02:11:34
Completely created around me. I wouldn’t have cared if it was trans I thought it was a straight couple fucking in a diner booth that I wanted to stop.
Speaker: 0
02:11:41
Yeah. People are good at spinning a tail.
Speaker: 2
02:11:43
If and by the way, I said it’s always the in betweens too. In full disclosure, if the guy like had her what I thought was the guy, had that girl’s like shorts to the side and I was watching him finger, I wouldn’t have said a word. I would just sit there and just drink it all in. Interesting.
Speaker: 0
02:11:58
It was just He wasn’t going hard
Speaker: 2
02:12:00
enough. It wasn’t soft enough or hard enough. It was Goldilocks right in the middle, and I don’t wanna see I don’t wanna see you guys dry hump while I’m eating. Either finger where we could all see or fucking take it down the road.
Speaker: 0
02:12:13
It’s hilarious that they put that put transphobia on. I mean Thought it was a guy.
Speaker: 2
02:12:17
The whole diner when we went back in was ai, oh, these intolerant people go, I don’t care if that’s a girl. It means nothing to me.
Speaker: 0
02:12:23
They didn’t see it.
Speaker: 2
02:12:25
Also, maybe if they announced there was a girl out of the gates, I might not say anything either. Just two chicks going out of the thing. I’m like, look at these two wild motherfuckers.
Speaker: 0
02:12:34
Right. You just thought it was crazy that it was a dude doing that.
Speaker: 2
02:12:36
Yeah.
Speaker: 0
02:12:37
That’s funny. Ain’t that funny? That’s weird. It’s weird how we look at that.
Speaker: 2
02:12:42
Oh, yeah. But Sai said you get wrapped up in a thing and you’re ai, you’re transphobia.
Speaker: 0
02:12:46
That has nothing to do with any of this. It’s a problem because that label, you could just slap on someone when you you’re talking about, like, male athletes that identify as women competing in girls sports. Like, that’s not transphobic. That’s just Yeah. We’re talking about something crazy.
Speaker: 2
02:13:00
Can I be trans weirdic? Is that a is that a term? Just be ai or it’s like, I think that’s weird that, that there’s a a six foot seven woman beating up an actual woman in a ring.
Speaker: 0
02:13:10
There was some lady who was just arguing that there’s no biological difference between men and women. Nice. I’m ai send you this, Jamie. Because it’s so kooky, you’re ai
Speaker: 2
02:13:20
Doctor who?
Speaker: 0
02:13:21
You can’t really think that this is true. This is No biological difference? There’s no difference between men and women’s strength. Pennsylvania state senator sai there’s no biological advantage for men in women’s sports or disadvantage for women in men’s sports. This is
Speaker: 2
02:13:38
That’s a woman?
Speaker: 0
02:13:39
A woman said this. This is so crazy. I just sent it to you, Jamie. It’s so kooky. You’re like, come on. Look. I know you wanna believe this, but if you’re gonna be on TV saying things, it has to make some kind of fucking sense.
Speaker: 1
02:13:51
Female bodies are just as strong as fast and capable as male bodies. I want all girls to know that there are elected officials like me who would never underestimate your ability to beat a boy at their own speak. Because that’s what the premise of this bill assumes, that female bodies are less than male bodies.
Speaker: 1
02:14:14
For what reason, other than political gain, are we spending time and taxpayer dollars on a completely made up issue? So female bodies are just as
Speaker: 0
02:14:26
That’s sai crazy. What god
Speaker: 2
02:14:28
hurt her?
Speaker: 0
02:14:29
Well, shah just got caught up in the woke bullshit. She lives in an echo chamber probably. All the people around her are all either in academia or in some sort of left wing fucking ai, and they really believe that. And they believe that you should say that. Because if you’re saying if you’re not saying then, you’re saying women are less than men. That’s not what anybody’s saying.
Speaker: 0
02:14:49
Strength and speed and athleticism is not all of life.
Speaker: 2
02:14:53
Well, you make the point. There’s men that are less than men in different areas. Yeah. Of course.
Speaker: 0
02:14:57
They’re called coders. They’re out there. Like, you know, they’re in sales. They’re online. They’re they’re making apps. You know, there’s a lot of different roles for people in this. Like, it doesn’t make you a man just because you’re you can run faster than everybody else.
Speaker: 0
02:15:08
But to say that men can’t run faster than women is just you’re denying statistics and science and all the information that we have gathered forever. We have so much data. High school 15 year old boys beat the women’s soccer team, the professional team. So shut the fuck up. This is stupid to say.
Speaker: 0
02:15:28
This is stupid to say. It’s not transphobic, homophobic. It’s not gender phobic. It’s not misogynistic. It’s just a fact of physical nature.
Speaker: 2
02:15:38
Also, if you if you hit the pinnacle, the the fight’s over. Do you know what I mean? If you just go, like, women’s sports is, highly attended. It’s given the same amount of TV time as men’s sport and everything. It’s ai, yeah, not enough. Not really. Like, now I sana now I wanna be in men’s sports also.
Speaker: 0
02:15:52
That’s the craziest one when the WNBA players want as much money as the WNBA as the NBA player. So the NBA actually generates extreme amounts of revenue. If the w somebody wrote a joke about it. The the WNBA wanted what their just pay was, and so they they owe $400,000,000.
Speaker: 0
02:16:09
Because that’s really what how it balances out. It’s like a losing it’s never been profitable.
Speaker: 2
02:16:14
Do you know what those, with those things, but, like, allow again, like, it’s like you’re helping the one to hurt the many in so many things too. It’s just like the the video Shane showed me this years ago. The the blind kid playing football. It’s like a little boy playing popcorn or football and he’s blind.
Speaker: 2
02:16:30
And I’m like, who’s this for? Ai, you know, it’s like
Speaker: 0
02:16:34
It’s your dad.
Speaker: 2
02:16:35
Why is he letting you do that? Who is this for? And Daredevil? And the kid gives a speech. In the video, he gives a speech and he goes he goes, a lot of people say ai people can’t play football. And he’s like, yeah, everybody. And you’ve never seen this video? No. This is maybe my favorite video on the Internet. You have blind football, Jamie, if you could.
Speaker: 0
02:16:54
This is it’s a thirty
Speaker: 2
02:16:55
second video. The song they picked for this is the is the greatest thing in the world.
Speaker: 0
02:17:03
So here’s the thing about, like, the WNBA. If you love the WNBA, that’s great. There’s a certain amount of people that love the WNBA. It’s great that women have a an avenue for professional sports, but you only get paid as much as people are willing to go to see you. Mhmm.
Speaker: 2
02:17:17
And if
Speaker: 0
02:17:17
they’re not willing to go see you, I’m sorry.
Speaker: 2
02:17:19
Because they wanna see dunks this year.
Speaker: 0
02:17:20
Just kids go on. It’s that kind of confidence that continues to amaze people who watch Dylan play. Oh, this is so crazy. This ai. Oh, this is so crazy.
Speaker: 1
02:17:31
I can’t sai, and a lot of people think that I that a blind person can’t play football.
Speaker: 0
02:17:37
But this courageous youngster has proven those people wrong. Shah the fuck is Charlie doing?
Speaker: 2
02:17:47
I mean, you can’t play football by smell? That’s impossible. Crazy. But it’s against, like, what you’re actually doing is making this game not fun for anybody else out there.
Speaker: 0
02:17:57
Right. You can’t hit the blind kid.
Speaker: 2
02:17:59
No one’s gonna hit the blind kid. And if
Speaker: 0
02:18:00
you do, you’re a dick. You’re just running around sai you have one less player for real. Meh. It’s just like your your your team has decided to be on a handicap so you can get on the news.
Speaker: 2
02:18:08
We used to play basketball on a story every Wednesday, and, Nate Bargatzy one time brought his friend, Nick Novicki, who’s a little person, comedian. And he brought him, and we were like, oh, he’s gonna play? Like, alright, I guess. And we let him play. And every time he’d get the ball, the defense would lay off him and let him shoot, and he’d make it or miss it, but it was what it was.
Speaker: 2
02:18:30
And then he started, when everyone would lay off on defense instead of shooting the ball, he ai to, like, run-in, like, do a layup, and we’re letting him. Oh. And it’s ai so eventually, Nate Bargatzy, of all people, goes over and just cleaned his shot right into, like, the projects.
Speaker: 2
02:18:43
He just sai, oh, he’s like, I can’t just we can’t just let this happen the whole time. It like it’s really becomes not fun for everybody. It was a there was a when I was a kid, I remember very few stories, but there was a handful of, like, the girl that fought to get on the men’s football team.
Speaker: 2
02:18:58
Yeah. Football is such a violent sport that to let girls play it, they have to put them in lingerie. The the Lingerie Football League is the only is the only visible women playing football sport. I don’t know, but I wanted to start taking, like, bets on it.
Speaker: 0
02:19:11
That was a thing, right, at one point in time?
Speaker: 2
02:19:13
Oh, yeah. And they hit hard. They
Speaker: 0
02:19:15
hit hard.
Speaker: 2
02:19:16
Never saw roller derby. Roller derby. There’s also buns in basketball where they have, morbidly obese black chicks wear thongs and play basketball.
Speaker: 0
02:19:22
I haven’t seen that. Oh. But roller derby is like ai Let’s buy
Speaker: 2
02:19:25
a team.
Speaker: 0
02:19:26
Ai, a really hardcore lesbians type activity. Right? Oh, yeah. I would imagine.
Speaker: 2
02:19:30
I would assume. Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker: 0
02:19:31
Like, really Get to bang
Speaker: 2
02:19:32
in the chips.
Speaker: 0
02:19:32
Hardcore ai bar girls with fucking weird tattoos.
Speaker: 2
02:19:37
And there’s some element of wrestling to it also. It’s, like, not fully real.
Speaker: 0
02:19:40
Very aggressive. They slam into each other. They get a fucking crazy.
Speaker: 2
02:19:45
Lingerie Football if you look up Lingerie Football’s biggest hits, it’s nuts with Nathan.
Speaker: 0
02:19:49
Lingerie, but they I saw that they made a deal for something to air on ESPN two this year. This is ai a women’s tackle football league championship game from last year. Wait a minute. These are chicks? Yeah. Come on.
Speaker: 2
02:19:58
Go back. That was a hell of a play. Woah.
Speaker: 0
02:20:02
That’s nuts. Thirty, forty yard pass. Caught it. Ai? Oh my god. That’s crazy. Dude,
Speaker: 3
02:20:09
they look pretty good.
Speaker: 0
02:20:10
Yeah. This looks better than WNBA. Maybe they found it. Maybe women’s tackle football is what’s up. Because you’re gonna see a lot of tackles.
Speaker: 2
02:20:18
Oh, yeah. Right?
Speaker: 0
02:20:19
Yeah. I don’t know if they get jacked up like they do and they, like, NFL or anything. But Woah. They have to. They’re running into each other.
Speaker: 2
02:20:25
Well, here’s what’s funny about this. These hits are pretty good, but they’re wearing actual football pads. Lingerie Football’s biggest hits arya they’re wearing the shoulders yeah. They’re wearing shoulder pads and lingerie. They ai like the fucking like the legion of doom. They fucking used to come meh.
Speaker: 0
02:20:38
Yeah. This is it.
Speaker: 2
02:20:40
Dude, they wail each other.
Speaker: 0
02:20:41
Do they really?
Speaker: 2
02:20:42
I mean, it’s crazy.
Speaker: 0
02:20:44
Well, the titties never come out. That’s crazy. They must have the thing strapped down. That’s ouch. Ouch.
Speaker: 2
02:20:50
I’d say these pile ups are crazy.
Speaker: 0
02:20:51
How many staph infection is coming
Speaker: 2
02:20:53
out of these fucking things?
Speaker: 0
02:20:54
I’ve seen a lot of staph. I’ve seen a lot of staph happen in the future with these ladies.
Speaker: 2
02:20:59
I mean, they blast each other into the sides.
Speaker: 0
02:21:01
You’re gonna get scratched up bad. You’re gonna get staph for
Speaker: 2
02:21:04
sure. Ai, right off
Speaker: 0
02:21:06
the butt.
Speaker: 2
02:21:06
The fact you get 22 girls on a field who are not fighting the idea of, like, oh, so we just gotta dress like sluts to play football. They just go, yeah, we’re dressed like sluts to play football. Fuck it. Ai are they shamed? And buns and if you find buns and basketball, we should buy a franchise, dude. I’ll go halfies with you. Oh, Jesus Christ.
Speaker: 0
02:21:28
Oh ai god. There There’s a couple of BBLs in there.
Speaker: 2
02:21:30
Actually, see if you could find the buns and basketball leg break. There’s a girl who fucking Oh, George. She’s a Paul George ai fucking, meh break because she’s just fat and she just falls into the weight of her dribbling. It’s cold.
Speaker: 0
02:21:41
How bad is it?
Speaker: 2
02:21:42
It it look it’s pretty gnarly. It’s not the worst I’ve ever seen. It’s not Tom Segura’s arm bad, but it’s close. That was bad. That was so bad. It’s because when he pulls it back in his flop, it’s the, it’s the Anderson Silva retracting the flopped tyler, you know.
Speaker: 0
02:21:56
His, arm still is fucked. Tom? Yeah. Still not a %.
Speaker: 2
02:22:00
Oh, I’d have to assume. The grip
Speaker: 0
02:22:01
is still fucked up. He had a bunch of nerve surgeries and shit.
Speaker: 2
02:22:04
Yeah. That was gnarly. Dude.
Speaker: 0
02:22:06
Imagine If
Speaker: 2
02:22:07
you just imagine if anyone’s playing defense.
Speaker: 0
02:22:09
Maybe they’re just going for a layup.
Speaker: 2
02:22:12
Oh, yeah. Yeah.
Speaker: 0
02:22:13
Oh, no. No. No. No. No. No.
Speaker: 2
02:22:15
No. No. Yep. Boop.
Speaker: 0
02:22:19
Yep. Oh. Oh, god. It just snaps.
Speaker: 2
02:22:22
For buns in basketball of all things.
Speaker: 0
02:22:25
Oh, it just snapped. Oh ai god. Hey. I
Speaker: 2
02:22:28
could tell it’s it’s gonna rain tomorrow. How do you know that? Old buns and basketball injury?
Speaker: 0
02:22:33
Bro, those are bad injuries. The femur’s a real bad one because you gotta get blood flow to it. Sometimes it takes a long time. Sometimes it doesn’t fully heal. Yeah. I know a couple be a little broken femurs.
Speaker: 2
02:22:45
That’s the most painful one.
Speaker: 0
02:22:47
Yeah. I know a dude, Frank Meh. He was UFC champion. He, got hit by a car when he was on his ai, and he got thrown through the air. And he was a giant fucking dude.
Speaker: 2
02:22:57
He came back too.
Speaker: 0
02:22:58
Took a long time for he was, like, really back back, you know. Like, it took well over a year and a half, two years before he’s really performing at the same level. I mean, you’d have to ask him. Then he
Speaker: 2
02:23:08
came and fought Brock.
Speaker: 0
02:23:09
Right?
Speaker: 2
02:23:09
He was at the right away.
Speaker: 0
02:23:10
Yep. He fought Brock. He knee knee arya him. Yeah. That was all after the accident.
Speaker: 2
02:23:14
Yeah. Man, UFC really has straightened out your belief in other people from other sports thing. Like, I can come do you, mixed martial arts.
Speaker: 0
02:23:23
Very few could ever pull it off. But Brock pulled it off.
Speaker: 2
02:23:26
I mean, the the ai one for me was, again, just that blind belief I had in Kimbo Slice. I don’t know. Sai don’t know why I didn’t think that Roy Nelson would just hold him on the ground and mush his face until a referee was like, hey, leave him alone. That’s crazy.
Speaker: 0
02:23:41
Well, Kimbo
Speaker: 2
02:23:42
He’s a tough motherfucker, obviously. I mean If
Speaker: 0
02:23:43
he was fighting just stand up only, he’s very dangerous. Ai, he was involved in like, if bare knuckle boxing was around back then, he would have been a huge star of bare knuckle boxing. Yeah. He would have fucked a lot of people up bare knuckle boxing. But once you add in the wrestling and Kimbo had a bunch of, knee injuries from football and, you know, it’s you can’t really grapple at full capacity with knee injuries and learn grappling at 35 or however old he was.
Speaker: 0
02:24:10
Yeah. But dude, kudos to that guy for having the courage to actually just get into the UFC ultimate fighter. That’s crazy. With very little grappling against Roy Nelson was a jujitsu black belt, Henzo Gracie black belt, ai, Roy Nelson’s fucking legit on the ground. Meh was trick If you don’t know how to
Speaker: 2
02:24:27
he was so fun.
Speaker: 0
02:24:28
He was so heavy too. Because he had a big big old belly. He
Speaker: 2
02:24:30
was gonna
Speaker: 0
02:24:30
hold people down.
Speaker: 2
02:24:31
And he was ai, he would shut up Burger. He’d go to Burger King after the fights and stuff.
Speaker: 0
02:24:35
He also could fucking punch, dude. That guy could could punch. He had well, some of the craziest one punch knockouts ever.
Speaker: 2
02:24:41
What is that does that career amount to, like, does is he sitting on money now? Like a guy like that? Or is he like
Speaker: 0
02:24:47
I don’t know. I haven’t talked to Roy in forever. I don’t know. He wound up fighting for a bunch of different organizations, you know. He left when he left the UFC, I think he fought for Bellator. But, that guy has some crazy highlight. He knocked out Shah, one shot. He knocked out Oh, yeah.
Speaker: 2
02:25:02
That’s right.
Speaker: 0
02:25:03
We knocked out a lot of people, dude. He he’d connect on people. They would go night night. It was nuts, man. He
Speaker: 2
02:25:09
knocked out the treatment.
Speaker: 0
02:25:10
He knocked out a lot of fucking big tough dudes.
Speaker: 2
02:25:13
When anybody comes to shah up, I’m always, like, it’s not even the the wins he’s had more than I’m, like, this guy’s not afraid of you. Exactly. Like, he’s been punched by, like, the best than, like, it’s I promise you, whatever you think, he thinks you could do to him, it’s not as bad as that.
Speaker: 0
02:25:27
He’s been beaten up by world champions. And he’s knocked out world champ. He knocked out Merko Cro Cop, which is crazy. Like, Merko Cro Cop back in the day was the fucking man.
Speaker: 2
02:25:37
Sure.
Speaker: 0
02:25:37
He was, like, the first He’s
Speaker: 2
02:25:38
a robot.
Speaker: 0
02:25:39
Elite kickboxer to really excel in MMA. He was the first guy to show all these other strikers that you don’t even know what you’re talking about. When he started fighting in pride, it was like, this is another level. He would kick people in the body, and you would sai, like, there’s a photo of him Keith kicking Keith Harrig, and his fucking shin is halfway into his rib cage.
Speaker: 0
02:26:00
It’s so nasty when you look at the photo of it. You just go the amount of power that that could god could generate in his kicks. Like, there was nobody like that before him in kickboxing or in MMA rather.
Speaker: 2
02:26:12
I felt so bad. The first that first UFC coming back during quarantine was so important to everybody. I don’t know if it was the first one or the second one that came out, but that was when I was like, man, you gotta really pick your timing and when you’re gonna shout out what you’re dedicating a fight to because there’s that poor ai.
Speaker: 2
02:26:28
Like, he lost sai stepdaughter, and then he came out, like, wearing the shirt of the stepdaughter who passed away.
Speaker: 0
02:26:34
Yeah.
Speaker: 2
02:26:34
And it was all dedicated to her. I mean, you can see as Alastair Overeem beat him into submission with punches Yeah. The referee was even ai going, like, come on, man. Please try to fight back.
Speaker: 0
02:26:46
Right.
Speaker: 2
02:26:46
I said the analysis over him should have been like, it’s okay everybody. I was also fighting for his stepdaughter. Like, yay. Yeah. It’s tough. I mean, but to shout that out, ai It’s tough. Before, yeah.
Speaker: 0
02:26:58
Ai great. On YouTube.
Speaker: 2
02:26:59
Those are great YouTube compilations. The cocky fighter comes in the ring to get to lose.
Speaker: 0
02:27:04
Oh, there’s always ai the guy pushes the guy at the weigh ins and start shit at the weigh ins and gets knocked unconscious.
Speaker: 2
02:27:08
There was one a guy came in the UFC cage. I forget who it was, but the way he entered the ring, like, he did a thing where he hung on the outside of the cage and, like, swung into the ring Mhmm. And did some crazy, like, move and then just it was like an immediate knockout. It’s ai a thirty seconder.
Speaker: 0
02:27:23
Well, Well, it’s like you planning to talk to J. Lo. You just gotta let things happen.
Speaker: 2
02:27:27
You just gotta let things happen.
Speaker: 0
02:27:28
You can’t plan you can’t plan things out. The inauthenticity of your planning will come to haunt you.
Speaker: 2
02:27:34
Yeah. Also, the shit you talk through life is also in broadcasting as you start to get guests sort of starts to haunt you. It’s like the thing like Howard Stern had to make a gazillion apologies ai soon by the time he the the guest he got on because we’ve done it. Man, we fucked up so bad. We came in one day. We saw Bret Michaels in the fishbowl. It was when me and Soder were doing the show still.
Speaker: 0
02:27:52
The fishbowl?
Speaker: 2
02:27:53
What’s the Fishbowl? Of SiriusXM. It’s like there’s a studio that you could see into right in the front there where they do performances and stuff.
Speaker: 0
02:28:00
Okay.
Speaker: 2
02:28:00
And, we were up in the, in the Fishbowl 1 time meh saw Brett Michaels when We came in talking to somebody. And then we go on air and almost like for the bit, we’re like, how do we never get offered these guys? There’s always ai celebrities here and they weren’t even brought to us as we can get them. It’s so fucking crazy.
Speaker: 2
02:28:15
And I go, right now as we speak, Bret Michaels is out there. And then we said something about ai like, his bandana being attached to his hair. And, ai, and I think Soter said, like, they lower his his bandana and hair onto him like Darth Vader. He just sits there and they lowered him.
Speaker: 2
02:28:30
And then they come back and they go, he said he’s willing to come in. So
Speaker: 0
02:28:34
Oh, no.
Speaker: 2
02:28:35
Then he comes in and he’s lovely. This guy was making future promises with us of what sana stuff he wants to do with us and hang out and come be a part of his summer festival and broadcast from there because he loves us so much. But his manager was listening the whole time and he said as soon as he left the studio, they went, those guys are not your friends.
Speaker: 2
02:28:54
And you’re like, ah, shit. Fuck. Shit.
Speaker: 0
02:28:57
He’s gotta understand. They didn’t know you.
Speaker: 2
02:29:00
That’s what it is, I’ve ai.
Speaker: 0
02:29:01
No. They know you. Corey Feldman hates
Speaker: 2
02:29:03
my guts and it’s like
Speaker: 0
02:29:04
What’d you do?
Speaker: 2
02:29:05
Well, I’ve never non stop talking about him. Ai. Yeah. We’ve never stopped talking about him.
Speaker: 0
02:29:09
How does his dancing?
Speaker: 2
02:29:10
Oh, yeah.
Speaker: 0
02:29:10
Do you hate on his dancing?
Speaker: 2
02:29:11
Yeah.
Speaker: 0
02:29:12
Maybe it’s getting better.
Speaker: 2
02:29:12
We’re not even hating on it at all. I love it. I wanna do nothing different. And I wish they tried he tried to have us not allowed at his show when he opened for Limp Bizkit.
Speaker: 0
02:29:23
Not allowed? Yeah.
Speaker: 2
02:29:24
And his head of security was a fan. He came over to me and Bobby Kelly, and he was like, yeah. He goes, he was asking if you guys were coming. I said, yes. Then he asked if he could know where you were, then he asked if we could not let you in. And I was like, well, they’re not doing anything.
Speaker: 2
02:29:35
They’re not threatening you or anything. They’re coming to watch a show. And he was like, well, can I at least know where they’re sitting at? And he goes, it’ll be wherever the most excited people arya. And son of a bitch, were we?
Speaker: 2
02:29:45
I mean, we were a sprout of grass on a dirt field of people. I mean, we were the only ones. We were hyped. I know all the words. He’s the best. But I did that was the genius of Howard Stern that I fucked up, when I started getting the broadcasting.
Speaker: 2
02:30:00
I broadcasted always ai it was gonna be me talking to a friend or friends shooting the shit. Right.
Speaker: 0
02:30:05
Not
Speaker: 2
02:30:05
that you’re gonna come across these people. So I would have played more what Howard Stern was always great at. It’s like ai the lunatic, but he’s always gonna be ai, no, Sai you’re great. Dude, you’re the best. And then the world make the joke. Right. Instead, like, I go at it, but I was like, man, I would have loved to just have Corey Feldman come in ai monthly to do it.
Speaker: 2
02:30:22
Hey, you got a new song? Play it, dude. I’ll bite my fucking finger while I Poor Corey.
Speaker: 0
02:30:29
Poor Corey. The thing about Corey that really does bother meh, ai, legitimately. We’re so happy. Oh, this is him? Let me hear this.
Speaker: 2
02:30:49
He yells at his band. Such a weird I got the guitar solo. He doesn’t know how to play
Speaker: 0
02:30:58
the guitar. That’s so crazy.
Speaker: 2
02:31:00
But he just does a solo.
Speaker: 0
02:31:01
How can you do a guitar solo if you don’t know how to play a guitar? Does he actually not know how to play guitar? Like, do you know how to play?
Speaker: 2
02:31:07
No. No. No. But I you don’t have to to know how to play to know he does not know how to play. I could do what he’s doing for sure. And but then here’s what he did. Ai know, I don’t know what the trickle back is, but I said after that was going viral, the guitar, I was like, why doesn’t this guy just come out and say ai like if he’s kinda ai, no, I get it.
Speaker: 2
02:31:25
I get the joke too. Like, then it kinda, it’s like puts people in there and stops them in their tracks. And then he kinda did that. He came and goes, of course, it’s the worst guitarist solo ever. Of course, that’s why I’m doing it. Like, it’s funny and it’s like, no.
Speaker: 2
02:31:38
And Fred Durst came out to watch him do it to prove he was doing it because where’s Fred’s Durst is smart like Howard Stern. He makes him think he’s his friend, but he’s a way bigger enemy than I could ever be to him. Because he’s going ai, dude, go make an ass of yourself in front of all these people.
Speaker: 0
02:31:54
He’s a young star guy that grew up to become a man and they’re all weird. There’s no way you could be a star at six years old and come out normal. You don’t have a normal life. It’s impossible.
Speaker: 2
02:32:06
Is there nobody?
Speaker: 0
02:32:07
I don’t think there’s one. Everyone that I’ve met I mean, there’s some really talented people ai Miley Cyrus and people that were childhood stars that are cool to talk to and but they struggle. It’s a struggle. All of them struggle. Everybody struggles.
Speaker: 2
02:32:19
Ai Punky Brewster is probably fine right now.
Speaker: 0
02:32:21
I don’t know. I don’t even know what that is.
Speaker: 2
02:32:23
Punky Brewster?
Speaker: 0
02:32:23
You don’t
Speaker: 2
02:32:23
remember that shit?
Speaker: 0
02:32:24
I don’t remember.
Speaker: 2
02:32:25
Sai Leel Moon Fry. She had the biggest titties when we were kids.
Speaker: 0
02:32:27
Yeah. That’s right.
Speaker: 2
02:32:28
She made a great documentary a few years back.
Speaker: 0
02:32:30
That’s right. But didn’t she became, like, a mom and got out of the business? Yeah. You can do that. But if you sana Oh,
Speaker: 2
02:32:35
you’re saying if you ai if you’re still if you’re still clamoring for the fame.
Speaker: 0
02:32:39
Yeah. But he I don’t I mean, I don’t know how many people came out of the fame as a young person and were fine. But the people that stay and keep doing it, they’re not ai. Most of them. I mean, maybe there’s a few. I mean, I’m not saying it’s impossible to do, but I’m saying the challenge of becoming a normal person with, like, a normal view of the world when, you know, you’re getting doted on when you’re sai.
Speaker: 0
02:33:02
Yeah. And you’re the moneymaker in the house when you’re a little kid, like, your parents stop working to manage you, like, that kind of shit.
Speaker: 2
02:33:09
Ai those Carter kids. I mean, that’s brutal. Aaron Carter kid was
Speaker: 0
02:33:13
Yeah.
Speaker: 2
02:33:14
Lost. He’s doing gay porn at the end. Not gay porn, but, like, gay, like, cam stuff.
Speaker: 0
02:33:19
Oh, really?
Speaker: 2
02:33:20
Yeah. Oh. Just whacking off on camera with face tattoos.
Speaker: 0
02:33:23
Like a boxing match against Lamar Odom. Supposed to. I don’t know if it ever ended up happening. They match against Lamar Odom.
Speaker: 2
02:33:25
Supposed to. Sai don’t know if it ever ended up happening.
Speaker: 0
02:33:28
They did. I think they did. And it’s so crazy because he’s ai this skinny guy with, like, not a muscle on his body, and Lamar Odom used to play for the NBA. Isn’t that true? Yes. They did have it. Yeah.
Speaker: 2
02:33:39
It did happen?
Speaker: 0
02:33:40
Yeah. Lamar just beats the bryden off.
Speaker: 2
02:33:42
I mean, you have to assume.
Speaker: 0
02:33:43
He’s a former professional athlete. The fact that and Chuck Liddell is the fucking look at the size difference. This is so crazy. Look at him. He’s trying to punch him. Aaron Carter’s he’s letting him hit him. He just kinda he touches him once. He’s ai letting him hit him. Oh, man.
Speaker: 0
02:34:02
It’s sad to watch. It’s almost like he looked like, oh, there he hit him with the left hand.
Speaker: 2
02:34:07
What’s really sad about it is is people is it’s not just people watching you fight that that wigs me out so much. It’s that, there’s something that knowing how to fight and the form of what you’re doing looking any ai of good, especially if you’re fight street fights, I mean, when they devolve into ai, you know, like men swinging like this, you’re like, oh, meh.
Speaker: 2
02:34:26
We really all suck at the end of the day at this. Like, it’s so hard to keep ai a a fighter’s composure on a street fight.
Speaker: 0
02:34:33
Shit’s going down. Yeah. Unless you do it all the time. I remember watching these two guys fight in front of the Comedy Store. And, it was, it was across the street when the House of Blues was over there. So it’s right in front in the parking lot. These guys start yelling at each other and blah blah blah. And they get out, like, almost in traffic.
Speaker: 0
02:34:50
They’re, like, on the sidewalk, like, right where the street tumbles out. And I see these two guys facing off, and I see the white ai. There’s a like ai white guy and, this looks like an out of shape African American fella. And the white guy starts swinging with almost ai with his eyes closed, and then the bus goes in between them, so I can’t see them.
Speaker: 0
02:35:15
And then as the bus goes back, the white guy
Speaker: 2
02:35:17
is out. I’m conscious.
Speaker: 0
02:35:19
Flat on his back, spread eagle, and the black guy is already running away. He’s he’s out cold. They were just squabbling in front, and I don’t remember how it I just remember this. I remember this and then the bus. And then out cold.
Speaker: 2
02:35:36
Do you have to deal with, because Sai mean, I know from, like, when Lewis sai working with Biz Bing and stuff and he’d go to Vegas, he’d be, like, they were all surprised at how many drunk guys at the casino try to, like, give him shit.
Speaker: 0
02:35:46
Oh, there’s a bunch of idiots.
Speaker: 2
02:35:47
I was like, do people come to you all the time? It’s like, you know you know karate for real, do this kind of thing?
Speaker: 0
02:35:52
Meh, if you hang out with enough drunks long enough, someone will just avoid those areas. Yeah. It’s just it’s drunk people. But if you’re one of them meh you’re hanging out and you’re drinking with people, yeah, there’s a these people used to get stupid with chocolate Dell, and chocolate Dell was the light heavyweight champion.
Speaker: 0
02:36:07
He was the scariest fucking human on the planet, And people would get stupid with him. They’re on coke. They don’t know what they’re doing. They’re out of their fucking mind.
Speaker: 2
02:36:14
You could win that fight.
Speaker: 0
02:36:15
People are cocky. Dump, funk dump, but they’re all they’re crazy anyway. They’re schizophrenic. People aren’t there’s so many nuts out there in this world.
Speaker: 2
02:36:23
Most thing about fighting too is endurance. That’s what most people don’t have in any kind of fight. If it’s not over in thirty seconds, everyone’s holding each other. Yeah. One of my favorite things I watch, I watch a lot of, like, body cam crime shit on YouTube. And there’s one. It’s a it’s sai Key West.
Speaker: 0
02:36:39
It’s a
Speaker: 2
02:36:39
couple. The ai hammered. He essentially he’s got money. For sure, this ai, he’s just trying to, like, you know, pay his bill with a library card or something where he’s ai, you just know what’s going on. And he’s barking at the staff, and then someone on the staff pushes his face and then breaks into this melee, but it’s, you know, 50 year old white people getting into a fight.
Speaker: 2
02:37:01
And one guy, gets him in a side headlock useless, and then they both sort of fall down, the husband and this guy who intervenes. And the guy who intervenes eventually puts his, like, legs, you know, puts in his hooks, basically, but does do ai nothing. Doesn’t choke the guy out.
Speaker: 2
02:37:19
And that they’re just kinda sitting there, two old exhausted guys. Ten minutes later, at least, they get up and they kinda have like the you’re a pussy you’re a pussy ai thing, and they leave. Then it cuts back to the the cops ai, and they wanna talk to the guy who intervened. Not mad at ai.
Speaker: 2
02:37:35
They just wanna get his side of the story, what happened. And this guy is, just an old meh, and the cops are questioning him. And they they start to lose their patience because he just wants to keep telling his hero story. He just watched what happened. It’s just two old men holding to the ground. He goes, ai came out of nowhere and punched me and I grew up doing this shit, man.
Speaker: 2
02:37:53
So, you know, I told the guy, I go, you you got two ways this can go ai, man. Oh, no. He goes, you could you could knock it off or I could beat the fuck out of you.
Speaker: 3
02:38:03
You still this is the cops?
Speaker: 2
02:38:05
Yeah. If you might be able to find we’re very classy, body cam. We’re very classy people. Maybe ai hopefully, you could find it. But it’s, but we still on the cup then he goes he’s ai, I told him I could beat the fuck out. He goes, alright. So then you were able to ai subdue him? He’s like, yeah. He goes I took him down and I’m like he goes, I don’t want a problem with you.
Speaker: 2
02:38:27
And Sai go, you you want no parts of what I’m about to bring you, my man. And it’s all this none of this happened. You just watched the video. We just grabbed them. They they flopped on the ground and laid there exhausted for ten minutes while the while the lady screams. It’s nothing.
Speaker: 2
02:38:42
And it just ai just a guy talking with that that belief. Yep.
Speaker: 0
02:38:45
Is it?
Speaker: 2
02:38:45
So this is the video. Let
Speaker: 0
02:38:47
me see some action.
Speaker: 2
02:38:48
That’s that’s just them getting on the ground, and he just puts his volume?
Speaker: 0
02:38:53
Will we get in trouble? Will we lose the YouTube rights? What happens? Every step is Ai. Don’t don’t don’t give me any volume then. Needed. Yeah.
Speaker: 2
02:39:02
So that’s them. You can always fail for yeah. They just stay there and eventually get up and have, like, the hands on each other. Yeah. They’re up. No. Wait. No. No. No. It’s right after the video.
Speaker: 0
02:39:15
But we’re not gonna be able to play it.
Speaker: 2
02:39:17
Oh, you can’t play the audio?
Speaker: 0
02:39:18
No. They’ll they’ll fucking get us on YouTube. I think it’s the one without that. Yeah. Yeah. I see that. If you’re commenting on it, it’s commentary.
Speaker: 2
02:39:24
Are you allowed to?
Speaker: 0
02:39:24
It depends. It’s a little
Speaker: 2
02:39:26
It’s a if we talk it’s this guy.
Speaker: 0
02:39:29
Yeah. Ai probably get punched. Some Yeah. Watch. Big jump out of nowhere. Giving a shit to the employees, and I just said, hey. Ai it off
Speaker: 2
02:39:37
right here.
Speaker: 0
02:39:38
Yeah. Okay. So were you the first one to go ahead and grab them ram try and ai them to the water? Ai I was probably the first ai. These guys fucking with the waitresses. Dude, what are you doing? The guy fucking punched me. Sai said, dude, you don’t wanna get into this with me.
Speaker: 0
02:39:51
Ai grew up doing this shit. Mhmm. And I said, don’t do it. I dragged him to the ground. I said, you you got two options.
Speaker: 0
02:39:58
Either stop or I’m sana beat the living fuck out of you. Okay. So I sai, that’s how it’s gonna go. And he said, I don’t want a problem with you. I said, you you you want nothing to do with what I’m gonna bring to you. Oh, man.
Speaker: 0
02:40:08
I’m gonna watch it. You know?
Speaker: 2
02:40:10
And then
Speaker: 0
02:40:11
oh, yeah.
Speaker: 2
02:40:12
No. It’s right there. And then he goes, I have there’s only one more thing where the the cop cuts him off.
Speaker: 0
02:40:16
So you were on the ground with him holding on to Meh. I held on to him and said until he Yeah. Right there. The cop cuts him off. He doesn’t wanna hear what
Speaker: 2
02:40:22
he says anymore. He goes, so you were able to get him on the ground. Ai goes, got him on the ground. And I said to him, he goes, I ram you had him on the ground. Like, stop telling us your I mean, it’s the way this guy speak. It’s like the Bushido code states that if, the weapon is drawn, it must taste blood before put away.
Speaker: 0
02:40:37
This is hilarious white people fighting. That’s what this is.
Speaker: 2
02:40:39
It’s hilarious. And it goes nowhere. Where?
Speaker: 0
02:40:42
No one’s going to the ground. What’s going on? This is a lie. Oh, here. Now they’re on the ground.
Speaker: 2
02:40:47
But he’s
Speaker: 0
02:40:47
ai, I drug him on
Speaker: 2
02:40:48
the ground. Really, the husband drags him on the ground, technically.
Speaker: 0
02:40:51
Yeah. It’s a disaster.
Speaker: 2
02:40:53
But ai us that my friend Justin Silver used to have my favorite joke about, that kind of personality, though. He’s like, he’s because I’m a liar because I lie about everything. And he was ai, I’m the guy who, like, you know, gets into a situation with somebody in the street, and then I don’t do anything.
Speaker: 2
02:41:08
And then I go home, shadow box, and call my friends and tell them all the things that I wish I did like it actually happened. And his line was, if I did all the things I told my friends I did, my name would be Indiana Bon Jovi Balboa.
Speaker: 0
02:41:20
When you’re a kid and you, you have a situation like that happen, the rest of the day, you play it in your head ai what I should have said.
Speaker: 2
02:41:29
Oh, man.
Speaker: 0
02:41:29
Oh, I wish I had another chance. I would have said, well, fuck you because this or not.
Speaker: 2
02:41:33
That’s the worst. And when it goes away, yeah.
Speaker: 0
02:41:36
Those internal dialogue things like for the rest of the day, what should I have said? And you like plot it out and plan it scheme.
Speaker: 2
02:41:42
I’ll find him again one day.
Speaker: 0
02:41:44
One day, I’m gonna tell
Speaker: 2
02:41:45
I’ll find that asshole. I’ve done dumb things though where it’s like I don’t even with no real trained preparation for any of these situations, but ai Sai also sana I always had a arya. And when you’re younger and have a car, it’s destroying you financially usually. Like, how much it cost to have a car and everything.
Speaker: 2
02:42:03
So it means a lot to you no matter how shitty it is. When people would fucking hit my ai and New York’s a big thing with that, you know. You stop short and a pedestrian just, like, you know, slaps the front of your car or something.
Speaker: 0
02:42:13
Dude, to this sai.
Speaker: 2
02:42:14
I would get irate by that.
Speaker: 0
02:42:15
To this day, I think about one guy. I had a little Honda CRX and I was driving in New York and I was making my way into this intersection and I got stuck in between lights and then people started walking and I tried to find, like, some space where I could not be in the intersection.
Speaker: 0
02:42:30
There was a nice gap. And so peep this guy wasn’t close to the car, so I started moving forward and he whacks my fucking car with a briefcase. And I was like, I’m gonna pull over. I’m gonna put this guy in the hospital. So this this crazy wild thought, like, I’m gonna pull over and I’m just gonna go smash this dude. And I said, no. Just drive. Just drive. Just drive.
Speaker: 0
02:42:52
And, like, for years, I would think about that guy.
Speaker: 2
02:42:56
Yeah.
Speaker: 0
02:42:56
For years, this arrogant cocksucker hitting my car with a fucking briefcase.
Speaker: 2
02:43:01
I have it’s what it’s what, unites me and Lewis. We both have a crazy need for justice.
Speaker: 0
02:43:08
It’s so stupid. It’s why Sai like those stupid revenge movies.
Speaker: 2
02:43:11
It’s this.
Speaker: 0
02:43:11
I just it’s justice. So
Speaker: 2
02:43:13
it’s that. It’s the thing. It’s ai the guy who did that thing. I have like a I bet he won’t do that anymore. I bet he won’t do that anymore after I’ve sorted the situation out. But Ai mean, it’s so dumb ai it’s
Speaker: 0
02:43:23
so dumb. It’s so dumb.
Speaker: 2
02:43:24
I mean, I
Speaker: 0
02:43:24
and It’s a dude thing too.
Speaker: 2
02:43:25
Getting out of the car. So Ai mean, one time sai early when I was coming to New York and I had my what became my ex wife, we were just dating at the time in a car driving a Saturn guy trying to impress two girls he’s with and he goes by just like slaps the front of the car and it sai and then they walk into Washington Square Park.
Speaker: 2
02:43:46
And Ai, like, just stewing in it. Ai, I bought some shit out the window. No. No. No. For seconds, I’m stewing in it.
Speaker: 2
02:43:55
And then I pull over with my new girlfriend. I go, wait here. And she goes, what? And then I begin to run after this guy into the park. What I’m not thinking about is as I’m running, but ai I finally find this guy on the other side of Washington Square Park, I turn around, dude he could have pushed me over the feather, I was like, sai motherfucker, you sana wanna fucking slap your arya?
Speaker: 2
02:44:18
And luckily, I I just scared him with my sai, I guess, ultimately or something because, like, he didn’t do anything but I was like, as soon as I got there and spun this guy ai, I’m like, I’m done. I’m so exhausted from running. I never run. I sprinted to find him without thinking that I’m giving all my energy to that run and I’m like,
Speaker: 0
02:44:33
You need like a half hour to recover.
Speaker: 2
02:44:35
He just fucking hit my car ram and he was ai luckily like apologetic and like woah dude I don’t want any trouble. You’re like fucking ain’t ai, fucking ain’t right you don’t want any trouble. It’s sai I took ten extra minutes walking back to the car leaving my girlfriend in the car because, I didn’t want her to see how heavy I was breathing.
Speaker: 2
02:44:54
Either we meh it all back together and just come back to the car and be like scared that pussy.
Speaker: 0
02:45:01
Such a dumb thing to do. Because you could do it to the wrong guy. I watched Of course,
Speaker: 2
02:45:05
my instincts are terrible on it. Because I ai. I don’t get out thinking ai and then as soon as someone put a gun, I’d be like, none of this was worth it. Ai just slapped my car. Every now
Speaker: 0
02:45:13
and then, you’ll see someone do something stupid and the person they’re doing it to actually knows how to fight. Those are very satisfying.
Speaker: 2
02:45:19
So satisfying.
Speaker: 0
02:45:20
Yeah. There’s a one with cops. Ai, check that, Terrence McKinney, UFC ai. Sure. Put it up on his Instagram page today. So this cop tries a shitty double leg on this ai, and the guy knew how to ai, and the guy sprawls, and the cop tries to hit him, and the guy cracks him. And the guy tries to tell him, meh. Stop. And then the cop watch this. Like, look at the cop. Shoots a shitty double. Nice sprawl. Look at this.
Speaker: 0
02:45:44
Pushes him off. He’s got him in a headlock. Let’s him go. Cop punches. Bam. Drops him with one shot. Hits him a couple more times. Hits him again.
Speaker: 0
02:45:53
Rocks him. The cop is the cops meh
Speaker: 2
02:45:56
Jesus Christ.
Speaker: 0
02:45:58
And the guy wasn’t doing it. He was just arguing with the cops. I don’t know if that is a cop. Is that a cop?
Speaker: 2
02:46:04
It’s some ai of, like, security.
Speaker: 0
02:46:05
Security something. He’s got a badge, and he’s meh wearing white gloves.
Speaker: 2
02:46:09
The gloves
Speaker: 0
02:46:10
are he gets his dukes up. Like, both of them he had some training, but he massively overestimated his ability. Look at this shitty double leg. Let me see the show me that shitty double leg again. Watch this shitty double leg. Look at that. Terrible. No drive at all.
Speaker: 0
02:46:24
Scared of the concrete, so he’s trying to double leg without his knees going to the ground. He doesn’t wanna really drive forward.
Speaker: 2
02:46:31
There’s a great video of an of a very in shape cop, and he’s going at it with a teenager who’s really talking shit. He’s ai he’s like a wiggory kid doing ai a yo, meh. What take off that badge. You know what’s up? Take off that badge. Take off the vest, boy.
Speaker: 2
02:46:44
You know what’s up. And he keeps keeps going to him, and the and the cops eventually, like, hey. You keep balling up your fist, man. Like, what are you doing? Just relax. Like, I’m just what are you doing here? I’m just seeing who everybody is, you know. He’s like, yeah.
Speaker: 2
02:46:55
You know what’s up pussy. Take that meh. And he’s when he gets in his face one time, he just grabs him by the shoulders, puts his foot behind it. I mean, places him on the concrete. And how fast the kid’s like, oh, okay. Woah.
Speaker: 2
02:47:06
We got a little nuts back ai,
Speaker: 0
02:47:08
I saw that one. Shah. Those are fun. Well, kids are just
Speaker: 2
02:47:10
And fat women getting tasered. That’s my other favorite thing.
Speaker: 0
02:47:12
I bet that young man was 25.
Speaker: 2
02:47:14
Oh, no doubt.
Speaker: 0
02:47:15
His brain was mush.
Speaker: 2
02:47:16
No doubt. And then but it’s funny when they have to come back and they go, I was being crazy back there.
Speaker: 0
02:47:21
That’s why they send those young boys out to war.
Speaker: 2
02:47:23
Because they’re all fucking piss and vinegar?
Speaker: 0
02:47:25
All piss and vinegar with a non fully deformed brain.
Speaker: 2
02:47:28
Yeah. Non fully formed brain. They just fucking take that
Speaker: 0
02:47:31
gun and here’s some meh. Let’s fucking go.
Speaker: 2
02:47:34
There’s a guy in the audience last night. We did story wars at mothership, and there’s a guy in the front who’s wears a brace around his body and, like, we asked him ai, he was stabbed in Afghanistan hand to hand combat. Oh, Jesus. Because it was a gunfight and ended up being hand to hand combat. He said he beat he knocked the guy down, didn’t confirm that he was out.
Speaker: 2
02:47:52
And then we took his attention away. The guy reached up and sai, stab him. Oh. Right in the fucking chest, basically. It’s pretty wild. Right.
Speaker: 2
02:47:59
And, we were ai and we look at this ai, we go, in Afghanistan, what it he was 18. He happened he was 18. Wow. Ai think he said the 16 year old was the kid the kid who stabbed him was 16. Jesus Christ. Such a wild thing. It’s intense.
Speaker: 0
02:48:16
It’s a little too intense. Don’t get in ai, kids. That’s our message. Right?
Speaker: 2
02:48:19
If you can avoid it.
Speaker: 0
02:48:20
Abs I’ve avoided all of them.
Speaker: 2
02:48:22
I Sai bryden to I got another thing, a road rage thing ai I knocked the guy out. He wasn’t very big and I basically got out of the car and he was ai away didn’t sana do anything And I mushed his face. He was drunk and I kept mushing his face until he would throw up a drunken punch. And then Ai hit him and I caught him.
Speaker: 2
02:48:40
Only time I’m in a fight in my life where I caught him first shot and he literally ai folded on the ground. And then Ai got meh car, drove away with my current girlfriend, Christine. And when we, we got, like, a few blocks away, my, you know, my adrenaline started going down.
Speaker: 2
02:48:55
I was like and so jokingly almost, I just look at her and I I kissed my bicep, like, one shot and she goes, she goes she was ai really pissed. Like, she didn’t think it was funny or anything and I was like, but it wasn’t even ai kinda hot that I just knocked that guy out one shot and she was like, no, like what if you killed him?
Speaker: 2
02:49:14
Like his head bounced off the ground. What it’s all for what? And I was like, yeah, it’s a great point Ai guess.
Speaker: 0
02:49:19
It’s a real good
Speaker: 2
02:49:19
Ai like, what a great fucking point. Because I meh, I’m walking away from that like, hey, I didn’t even get touched and, I got sweet beautiful justice, you know, the way I’m always searching for. And she was like, no. What if you killed him? And I’m like, yeah. There is a point there, Paul.
Speaker: 0
02:49:31
I don’t think about that with that guy.
Speaker: 2
02:49:32
No. But yourself getting killed. What if you’d kill somebody?
Speaker: 0
02:49:35
Oh, yeah. For sure. Yeah. You never punch somebody in the face on the concrete if you can. Like a a good train fighter probably punch in the body. Yeah. Just because they don’t wanna go to jail forever. Ai Kevin Jim James’ friends went to jail for, like, seven years. He was a bouncer, ai in Long Island.
Speaker: 0
02:49:51
Knocked the guy out, guy falls, hits his head, dies. Happens.
Speaker: 2
02:49:54
Yeah. But didn’t like didn’t Harry Houdini get killed from a gut shot? Something like that. Yeah. Like a punch to the stomach. He died Yeah. Days later. Yeah. Because I ai organ busted. Mhmm. You never think about that. You wanna give everything you got to a face punch and then you’re like, boy, Sai sure hope I don’t blind him forever. These are all things could happen.
Speaker: 0
02:50:10
All things that could happen. Alright, Jake. I love you to death. Let’s wrap this bitch up.
Speaker: 2
02:50:14
Can I plug a Yeah?
Speaker: 0
02:50:15
Please do.
Speaker: 2
02:50:15
Krista, Ai, first half of Double Crowd Work speak. Let’s go. Them is currently out. Second half, They is coming at 04:20. All done at, at the Denver Comedy Works. So thank we’re almost at
Speaker: 0
02:50:28
a million. Best fucking clubs on Earth. That club rules.
Speaker: 2
02:50:31
That club is so great.
Speaker: 0
02:50:32
It’s so good. Well,
Speaker: 2
02:50:33
you guys do the same thing. Everyone’s facing forward Yep. And Yonder bags.
Speaker: 0
02:50:36
Oh, yeah. I thought about that when I was designing my club. I was almost gonna do the seats like she has them when they’re all locked down.
Speaker: 2
02:50:41
Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker: 0
02:50:41
Yeah. Wendy’s the best. Shout out to Wendy. We love her. Alright. Thank you, brother. Thank you. Bye, everybody.
