Baldur’s Gate 3 (Zero Punctuation) YouTube Video

Baldur’s Gate 3 (Zero Punctuation) YouTube Video Description

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This week on Zero Punctuation, Yahtzee reviews Baldur’s Gate 3.

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Baldur’s Gate 3 (Zero Punctuation) Automated Transcript By Speak

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So I hear the new boulder’s gate is making bank like a Nicor Elastic shop next door to a French burlesque club. I don’t know it made sense in my head and a lot of people are going, oh, finally, gamers send a clear message that they want good single player games with strong design and narrative, not just fancy graphics and live service to a to which I reply you mean besides the previous 12 times, they sent that message, I mean, Christ at this point, it feels like saying prisoners in basements send clear message that they’d rather not be sodomized with a six inch wooden dowel but is B gate three actually good or just riding the wave of metaphorical demand for dowel removal and soothing bum cream.

Never been one for this sort of top down clicky RPG before. But a couple of significant factors drew me into this one. Editor Nick strongly suggested I give it a look saying it’s doing some full on immersive sim stuff that sets it apart. Oh, you mean you can break doors and stack crates. And the second factor was that since the last D and D based video game, I have become ad and D player IRL tune into Avens night every other Saturday only on the escapist plug plug. So when I started the game and the screen became deluge with icons like it was being subjected to the wrath of Windows. 95 I understood what some of them meant and I could go in already knowing things. Both Boulder’s gate three and D and D generally are really sorting bad at explaining like how the cocking sneak attack works. On that note, I also thought it best to try out the game’s flexibility by role playing as my existing D and D character Mortimer, a weasley con artist who min max his deception in order to weasel his way out of problems because he’s as much use in a fight as an actual weasel.

So the game starts and we’re on an alien spaceship that crash lands for various complicated reasons and we have to fight our way out of the wreckage, fending off purple, squiggly dudes in robes and I’m all like, sorry, did we come in the wrong door? I’m here for balder’s gate. Are we in the last mission of an exco game? But then we get away from the crash site and we’re in more traditional D MD land forests in Batt Villages dungeons can’t move 10 steps without hitting a trapper, a gelatinous tube. We also swiftly load up the party bus with a bunch of fellow escapees and adventurers, all with diverse classes and complex back stories. But more importantly, representing a nice convenient meat shield for mortimer to hide behind, turns out everyone’s got squirmy worms in their brains that will turn them into the purple squid dudes within days if we don’t find a way to hack them out. And so we’re set loose to adventure our way through that problem by dealing with 500 different one. And as the ground level gameplay kicked in, it soon became clear that the game wasn’t going to let me hide at the back of the party. Plucking my fantasy banjo and slinging the odd vicious mockery like the most infuriating little tit at the ho down contest. You’ve got to micromanage all your party members actions and leveling choices.

If you don’t go through them all individually telling them to go into stealth mode, they’ll blunder in after your sneaky ass. Like three embarrassing parents coming to pick you up from the school disco. The world is extremely flexible with letting you make crazy jumps to bypass obstacles.

But the path finding frequently has trouble keeping up something I was able to exploit to my favorite during one combat sequence where I kept moving to the other side of a huge pit and causing two minor tours to keep getting confused and changing direction. Like we were chasing a nervous bride around a honeymoon suite coffee table. One thing I swiftly learned was that whenever negotiation broke down and the conversation turned into combat, I would usually get a lot of little goblins sized boot prints all over my buttocks because deceiving and weaseling out of combat only worked often enough to make me completely bloody, unprepared for the unavoidable fights.

The winning strategy in such cases was to reload a save and try to cheat as much as possible, which wasn’t great for immersion. There was no diverse reason why Mor would drag an explosive barrel into the middle of a group of not yet hostile MPC S. Don’t mind me. I just thought this would look nice here. My goodness. Your leaders making a jolly interesting speech. Why don’t you keep paying attention to that while I go over there and check on that thing. That’s just inside fire bolt range. I also got a lot of mileage out of shoving people off cliffs. Buller gate three will never use an impassable wall when a bottomless chasm will do. Even when there wasn’t one, sometimes I’d just climb to the highest points, make the enemy chase me up there and shove them straight back off like an asshole kid on a climbing frame. Round of that. I was starting to feel sorry for the stupid bastard. Although the enemy A I seems pretty clued in on the patented labor saving cliff shove technique as well. So I was still having to retry combat encounters a lot. I saw a tweet this week saying, hey, don’t reload after every mistake, roll with it, find a solution. That’s how you have fun with boulder’s gate. Fine sentiment except all my mistakes seem to end with my party getting pounded into mulch. Not sure how I’m supposed to roll with that unless it happens at the top of a staircase or angled surface.

Maybe this was a consequence of my choices in life. But I felt I kept getting trapped in situations where rule in combat was unavoidable. I guess one mission to rescue the druid leader from a goblin camp. I bullshitted my way in and found the dude easily enough. But then he was like, oh, I can’t escape with you or consider this quest complete until you kill all three goblin leaders. Now said, dude have the ability to turn into a giant bear which would tip the scales in our favor. A tad but wouldn’t come with us at first. Oh, I could come rip shit up. But then you’d lose the opportunity to kill your target stealthily. He said, oh sure. I was totally going stealth kill three high level goblin leaders in full view of nine of their guards. And within earshot of 20 more, I’ll get right on that. Get in the fucking party bus, Teddy Ruxpin. So I don’t entirely buy this popular perception. The Boulder Gate three is a super flexible game where every problem has multiple solutions, but I’m sure I barely scratch the service of it in my usual limited one week of playtime. I mean, it’s no graphics powerhouse and the file size descended upon my hard drive like a fat bloke into a crowded bus seat. I wonder how much of its sudden popularity is due to outside factors. The growing distaste for the usual tedious gameplay loops and online flapper rate.

The increasing popular of D and D thanks to actual play series event for his nice season. Three year. Now, don’t miss out cross promote, cross promote. But you know what viewer for all the times I got back into a prolonged frustrating combat, having been left to randomly explore a new area only to discover afterwards that it did sole to get me any closer to my goal. Something made me keep pressing on. Something always made me want to survive this and see what was around the next corner. And I think that comes down to being a just plain solidly built game in terms of narrative and discovery. I wanted to keep learning more about my situation and my party members specifically what they kept inside their underpants. It was vaginas.

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