A Boy and His Blob – Angry Video Game Nerd (AVGN) YouTube Video
A Boy and His Blob – Angry Video Game Nerd (AVGN) YouTube Video Description
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In Angry Video Game Nerd episode 210, The Nerd is opening up a bag of jelly beans and flipping through the pages of Nintendo Power, in his quest to beat the David Crane NES classic, A Boy and His Blob: Trouble on Blobolonia!
Written and Directed by James Rolfe
Edited by Sean O’Rourke
https://youtube.com/moviedumpster
Tweets by orourkejsean
Gameplay by James, Sean, and Mike
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A Boy and His Blob – Angry Video Game Nerd (AVGN) Automated Transcript By Speak
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I never have to worry about finding exactly what I’m looking for with Express VPN by my side. Find out how you can get yourself three months of Express VPN for free by going to Express VPN dot com slash cinemas or by clicking the link in the description below. Back in the day it was all about Nintendo power. You get that shit in the mail and it was like hot damn. It was this issue right here. It was the first spring of the nineties and this is when I first heard of the game, but I’m not talking about that one on the cover. We’re going deeper into those pages further into the ass crack of gaming history. And there it was a boy in his blob having already been released in 89. I didn’t know if this game had anything to do with the fifties monster movie, the blob. But one thing was clear, it had a lot to do with jelly beans. I never forgot his page seeing all those different colors. I didn’t process what it all meant, but it definitely made me want jelly beans. Then I saw that illustration of that kid dropping jelly beans into the mouth of a white slimer looking blob dude with his mouth gaping like Yum Yum Yum Yum. What the hell was this game about?
The designer and programmer was David Crane who worked at a Ari and became one of the co founders of Activision. He made graphics for Kaboom, but he was best known for Pitfall and Pitfall too. The Lost Caverns, which was loosely remade on the Nes as Super Pitfall. I already talked about that one super shit Fall and I very briefly touched upon Boys Blob in my wish list episode part two. But this game is such a bizarre curiosity piece. It’s unique, puzzling and equally fascinating. So I think it might be worth playing through the whole game. We’re not. Oh, no, not Indiana Jones. Why did it have to be Indiana Jones. The title font, the music. It’s a full fledged indie spoof. So the game starts up and if you were a kid when this came out, you didn’t have half a clue what you were supposed to be doing. I rented it from the video store and while I might have been too impatient to always read the manuals, keep in mind it was the video store. They never came with the manuals because someone always rented it and never returned the manual. Yeah, I mean, it begs the question. Who are all these people going around snatching Nes manuals? Do they still have them? Bring them back? Yeah, you can cleanse yourself for your sins.
Walk into the site of the old video store, whether it’s a laundromat, a bar or a nail salon. Just walk in there, put that manual on the floor and walk out a new person. So you just had to mess around. You select jelly beans from your inventory. You throw them in the white slimer. And what happens? He transforms the honey flavor. Turns him into a hummingbird apple, turns him into a Jack apple. Jack Vanilla is Umbrella. Cinnamon is blowtorch. Um like the blowtorch in home alone, the movie like cinema, not Cinnamon Cinema, man. OK.
Admittedly this is a lot of fun. You’ll probably kill 30 minutes just trying out all the jelly beans in different places to see what happens and how this little guy interacts with the environment. So the blob character official named Blot is from outer Space and must have been partially inspired by the Blob or better yet the stuff. Yeah. Remember the stuff. But actually I heard that David Crane said in interviews that the inspiration was a Hanna Barbera cartoon called the Herculs.
Specifically the characters Gloop and Glee. But it also draws a very strong connection to a certain eighties movie where a young kid becomes friends with an alien visitor who also eats candy. You know what movie I’m talking about? Mack and Me, Glo may not seem totally original, but the idea of an A I controlled character following you around was trailblazing at the time. This was state of the art futuristic mind blowing shit. It’s like I’m playing the game with a friend, but there is no friend here. There’s nobody else here besides me. The second controller isn’t even plugged in what’s going on, man. Whether or not Blatt is a very good A I controlled character is a whole other question. If you think about it, the entire game is an escort mission instead of being free to move around as you please. You have to keep stopping and waiting for him to catch up. Come on, man. Move your slow ass. Well, there is one way to make him catch up. You drop the ketchup flavored jelly bean, catch up, catch you. So, what’s the goal here? Well, blat comes from the planet Bla boloo which is ruled by an evil emperor who forces everyone to eat only junk food. Blot needs the boy’s help to defeat the emperor. The only way to defeat him is with healthy food, more specifically vitamins where you get the vitamins, the vitamins store, but you need money. How do you get the money by exploring underground caverns? Looking for treasure chests and diamonds?
Wow. How did all this stuff get here? Did a bunch of pirates hide it all in this area which became a populated city? Whoever built the subway tunnels and sewers? Never noticed. There’s a shit ton of treasures. The diamonds alone are as big as the kid. If you found just one of those, then you found the largest cut diamond in the world and not just one, a whole bunch of them all to buy a jar of vitamins. Imagine walking into a CV S. You grab the vitamins from the counter, you bring it to the cashier that’ll be 10 99. Ok. And then bam, you just slam that fucking treasure chest on the counter. This one gold coin just spinning around as the cashier awkwardly stares. So as you’re running around searching for these treasures, you’ll notice there’s a surprising lack of enemies. I mean, this is an Nes game after all. Shouldn’t there be a million things trying to kill you? It’s screen after screen of nothing. The truth is this game could have used more time to finish developing. The story goes that David Crane had only six weeks to finish it. Well, I think this game took way too much inspiration from, et the only thing that can really be considered an enemy is some kind of worm, but it doesn’t even come after you. If you go near it, it’s your fault. Couldn’t keep your hands off that treasure. Huh?
Then there’s a spider web without any spider enemy whatsoever. The spider left that web for you just so you can run into it die and feel like a dumbass. You gotta use the blowtorch. All the other hazards are environmental if you fall from too high. Well, oops, fuck that one up. You gotta use the umbrella water. Well, that one’s a given. It wouldn’t be an nes game. If water didn’t kill you, you gotta use the cola bean to make a bubble which is harder to control than the submarine and earthworm gym. But watch out for the stalagmites and stalactites. Those are fatal to the touch as well. So the game makes you feel bad because it’s you who did it? Nothing’s really out to kill you. You’re out to kill yourself idiot. So here I’m gonna use the punch flavored jelly bean to turn blot into a hole. Get it punch hole mother fucker. Well, you can’t use the umbrella if you’re already using the hole. So your only other option is to have some kind of special sixth sense to mentally detect what exists beyond the boundary of the screen. In other words, it’s a fucking guessing game. Uh No, no, no, I could tell you what kind of hole this game belongs in. Another bean is tangerine to make a trampoline. Well, this thing’s based on momentum, the more you bounce the higher you go. Oh man. Hit the ceiling. I gotta get back down. How the hell do I get back down? Ah You fuck, get up there.
You see what I’m trying to do, right? 000 Get up there. Any way possible is the hair the right? Don’t, don’t, don’t oh Come on. All right. Just wanna bounce over the left. Uh Go left, go left. Son of a fucking bitch. This is some of the most elegantly designed torture I’ve ever seen. Gonna use licorice to make a ladder. Oh Come on. I can’t go up there. I’m gonna try it off to the side. It oh You gotta be kidding me. It has to be at the perfect spot. Let’s try here. What? Oh That was some cheap bullshit. This is a prime example of a trial and error game. It only sets you up for failure and the only course of action is to fail over and over again until you get lucky. It’s also a major where the fuck do you go kind of game? You keep running around like an asshole. And of course there was no fucking internet. So we’d have to consult Nintendo Power. Oh, that’s cool. They lay out the whole map with numbers. So you just follow the numbers, right? Number nine, stop. Be dead endy. This route leads to nowhere. You wanna be instead, head to the left and numbers 10 and 11. 0 That fucking takes the piss out of me. Who printed that? I wanna know who but nothing compares to this treasure at the very bottom. It’s heavily guarded by stalagmites. You have to be joking, just try to go near it. Just fucking try. And that’s it. You’re done.
I’ve approached it from every conceivable angle and I’ve determined that you cannot get this treasure unless you die. I guess that counts, right. You’re dead. But you got the treasure. That’s some pirate shit right there. But here’s the thing. You don’t need to get all the treasures.
You just need enough. So fuck the underground. Go back to the streets, go the vitamin store and cash those treasures in. Now you got vitamins and you’re ready to head to the planet Blan to take out the emperor, use the root beer bean to make a rocket, a rocket then launch yourself off. Ok? Now, let me ask a question. This boy dies when he touches water, but he can breathe in fucking space. Now we’re on Babylonia. And remember when I said there wasn’t enough enemies or things trying to kill you. Well, fuck myself. Goddamn. Is there enough shit in the way? Now? Maybe, just, maybe first it’s the dancing marshmallows. They just go up and down, up and down. But then they start doing these funky patterns kind of like the jellyfish and jaws. They keep getting crazier and crazier. Next you come to these cherry bombs. Don’t even worry about the pattern because they’ll just blow up and kill you anyway. Even if you try to outrun them, just hold right without stopping, they will still kill you might as well put down the controller and rethink your life. Even if you’re not on the same screen, they can still kill you. There is a trick, use the coconut bean to make a coconut bowling ball, throw it off screen and wait for it. Wait for it. Fuck. You can throw that coconut, wait all day.
But as soon as you decide to go after it, death is waiting. It’s a very specific kind of throw in a certain place with a running start. You know, you got it when the screen changes to follow it. Wow, that’s one hell of a throw by doing this. You clear all the enemies. But how would you know to do that? The answer is get the power. Nintendo power. Next. It’s a corn field. Yeah. Great. Now you’re being attacked by popcorn. All we need now is corn in the band. Then you’re inside some candy factory. It’s like Willy Wonka’s Factory. But even more evil.
Two naughty, nasty little Children gone. Three good, sweet little Children
left. There’s marshmallows falling off, conveyor belts, teeth and poop piles. Luckily you got those vitamins. Use the orange bean to unleash the vita blaster. Good thing we have that now. It’s like every other nes game where you just run to the right and blast everything. Yeah.
Shoot that shit. Literally, the coconut trick still holds up but you gotta find the right spot. All right, here we go. Well, rather anti-climactic, wouldn’t you say? Then you go past some creepy gingerbread men who do absolutely nothing? You use the lime bean to make the key key lime, open the door. What the fuck is this? How did blo suddenly end up in a cage? And is this the emperor? Why does he look like a pale job of the hut? But whatever, it’s the final boss battle. This is it. Here we go. What happened? And the evil king is defeated with his own hidden supply of vitamins and all of bla belous salutes their savior. Did I win already? All I did was throw blabber an apple jelly bean. He turned into a jack and knocked over the jar of vitamins. Remember, vitamins are fatal to the emperor. So if you were a villain and had a weakness, a ban that could kill you, what would you do? Well, keep a bunch of it next to you at all times? Ok. Who’s this supposed to be the Pillsbury fuck face? Or would you prefer Stauff or the Michelin man? The game tells you nothing about him, but I’d assume he’s the rightful king of Bla Bolon. He was captured by the emperor and you’ve rescued him and now that he’s free, he’s gonna send his blob army to conquer earth. Yeah. Wouldn’t that have been a great ending if it said congratulations, you’ve killed us all, asshole. This doesn’t feel like a complete game.
It can be beaten in an incredibly short time providing that you know what to do and where to go. Just to point out how short this game really is. Every screen of the entire game is shown in only four pages of Nintendo power. If they had more time, it would have been great to see more levels. The concept is very original with a lot of potential. The creative puzzle solving elements differentiate it from other platformers on the Nes David Crane advanced the possibilities of gaming in the same way he had done with Pitfall. It may be heavily flawed, but the ingenuity shines through it did. In fact, best of show at the consumer electronics show in 89. And it received the Parents Choice Award from the Parents Choice Foundation in 1990 citing its positive human values. For example, always have a healthy diet with lots of variety like licorice, vanilla, root beer and cola jelly beans. There’s things more important than money and that’s treasure chests and giant diamonds. The road less traveled is the road where there’s nothing and you’ll have to turn back.
Life is tough. Life is unfair. So just cheat and roll that fucking coconut bowling ball. This game is something that could have only existed in the eighties after all. It’s a game about jelly beans, which was the favorite candy of President Ronald Reagan as a kid. I didn’t know the difference between Ronald Reagan and Ronald mcdonald. But the point is that’s some eighties shit right there. And what a way to close out the decade to some. It may just be another obscure Nes game but to others, it’s remembered with great fondness. Its legacy continues and whether they are conscious influences or not. I’m reminded of blot when I see adult swim cartoons, like the character squish Face in Sea Lab 2021 or Meet Wad in aqua hunger for with his transforming capabilities. There is a new version of boy and his blob on the Wii so it’s very clear that it hasn’t been forgotten. Hopefully it’ll get another sequel or maybe an expanded version, maybe even an animated series in the future, these would all be great ways to fulfill its potential. There’s truly no other game like it, but maybe I’m being too positive here. I haven’t broken her shit on anything yet. So I’m gonna end by saying, fuck this game.
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